thalassino (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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vatheon2012-02-11 09:46 pm
thalassino) wrote in vatheon2012-02-11 09:46 pm
Entry tags:
- !curse: 26 - fairy tales,
- !event,
- axel,
- chie satonaka,
- cielo,
- dark link,
- duke pantarei,
- equius zahhak,
- expatriate darkleer,
- gamzee makara,
- jane maxwell,
- karkat vantas,
- kuroudo akabane,
- ky kiske,
- lea,
- mitsuhide akechi,
- motochika chosokabe (samurai warriors),
- orphaner dualscar,
- red medic,
- rhi'a dragunel,
- shizuo heiwajima,
- shouma takakura,
- signless,
- squall leonhart,
- tavros nitram,
- vegeta,
- xerxes break,
- yuno gasai,
- zelda (ocarina of time)
bluh bluh huge ball
Characters: Vatheon
Location: That Castle
Time: Evening, on Sunday
Style: Any
Status: OPEN. Threadjack, threadhop, spam away!
[ Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen of Vatheon— whatever your newfound stature may be, Prince, Princess, Knight, or Peasant, you will all receive a message on your SFC on the eve of Saturday regardless:
You are cordially invited to the castle for this evening's ball. In addition, you are all welcome to try and solve the riddle if it fancies you. It just may break the curse!
The invitation is unsigned, but its intentions are clear. Maybe you hadn't quite noticed the sizeable castle in the distance of the city that had sprung up, but this message would surely garner your attention toward it now.
Should you arrive at the castle, plenty of attractions await you:
Ballroom ❧ A very large and beautiful ballroom is lighted up, complete with a playing violin orchestra. While the curtains will be drawn during this event, there is a windowed view and exit on one side of the ballroom that leads to:
Smee's Rose Garden ❧ A broad and colorful spanse of a garden, complete with many paths and turns. Plenty of roses are arranged in great arches, which provide perfect little places should you need some privacy with your sweetheart. Anyone familiar will even tell you that the garden was purposefully designed for just that sort of thing.
The Riddle ❧ There is an inscription located on a noticeable plaque set in one of the garden's benches. It reads:
Dining Hall ❧ Connected to the ballroom is an extremely long hall that stretches as far as the eye can see, elegantly arranged as the dining area. Expensive and exquisite cuisine seem to be on the menu— try something new? Chances are you won't be eating from a selection such as this again anytime soon!
Dais ❧ There is a noticeable raised dais that is easily visible via any area within the ballroom. It's locked off from guests, though— what is it for...?
Do enjoy. ]
Location: That Castle
Time: Evening, on Sunday
Style: Any
Status: OPEN. Threadjack, threadhop, spam away!
[ Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen of Vatheon— whatever your newfound stature may be, Prince, Princess, Knight, or Peasant, you will all receive a message on your SFC on the eve of Saturday regardless:
You are cordially invited to the castle for this evening's ball. In addition, you are all welcome to try and solve the riddle if it fancies you. It just may break the curse!
The invitation is unsigned, but its intentions are clear. Maybe you hadn't quite noticed the sizeable castle in the distance of the city that had sprung up, but this message would surely garner your attention toward it now.
Should you arrive at the castle, plenty of attractions await you:
Ballroom ❧ A very large and beautiful ballroom is lighted up, complete with a playing violin orchestra. While the curtains will be drawn during this event, there is a windowed view and exit on one side of the ballroom that leads to:
Smee's Rose Garden ❧ A broad and colorful spanse of a garden, complete with many paths and turns. Plenty of roses are arranged in great arches, which provide perfect little places should you need some privacy with your sweetheart. Anyone familiar will even tell you that the garden was purposefully designed for just that sort of thing.
The Riddle ❧ There is an inscription located on a noticeable plaque set in one of the garden's benches. It reads:
Two are necessary to break this curse
Riled up, upset, what kind of love?
Only this kiss will stop it from getting worse.
Look for a winged one is push comes to shove,
Look for a glance slightly dark,
Search for a pair in reluctant love.
One answers a call; that's your mark;
One longs for patria though adverse.
Dining Hall ❧ Connected to the ballroom is an extremely long hall that stretches as far as the eye can see, elegantly arranged as the dining area. Expensive and exquisite cuisine seem to be on the menu— try something new? Chances are you won't be eating from a selection such as this again anytime soon!
Dais ❧ There is a noticeable raised dais that is easily visible via any area within the ballroom. It's locked off from guests, though— what is it for...?
Do enjoy. ]
no subject
He continued to walk along the path, just behind Izaya, until Izaya gestured him to sit. Shizuo did, a couple of inches of space carefully kept between them. The silence that followed did not bother Shizuo. He sat patiently, just enjoying the setting and Izaya's presence. Even if, after all of this, he didn't get the heart, somehow this felt like it could be enough. For the first time since the curse took hold, Shizuo felt at peace. His mind wasn't on hunting or that man who had hurt a child or even on what he had done to Izaya. Instead, he felt fully immersed in the present moment.
Izaya made Shizuo look at him, firmly directing the side of his face, but Shizuo didn't feel forced. If Izaya wanted him to look, he would look. It really was that simple.
"Yes," he replied without missing a beat. He brought his own hand up to Izaya's face, touching the skin of his cheek, brushing hair away as he had that previous evening. "I've known you for a long time. I know that. I can't...really remember a lot of it, but I can feel that. I know I know you, but it's like I only just woke up a few days ago. That until then, I had been...sleeping, almost."
For a brief moment, he glances down, feeling a little confused because he's not quite sure if that makes sense, but it fades quickly, and he meets Izaya's stare again.
"You're Izaya." His tone is confident, and he smiles a small, fond smile as he says it. "But you're more than that, too. That's why I need your heart."
no subject
He dropped his hand from Shizuo's face and slid closer to the other man and held a finger up in Shizuo's face.
"Listen, Shizuo," he said in a firm tone of voice, "I want you to understand something. You need to stop looking at me like that and talking to me like this. You're confused and under a curse right now. You're not yourself. If you were, you'd be yelling at me about how horrible I am or something else like that. You hate me. You don't realize that right now but you'll remember soon enough that you hate me." He lowered his finger and he hadn't entirely realized how close he'd invaded Shizuo's personal space.
Of course, he had been this close to Shizuo many times before. He had come right up to him during their fights and interactions just as likely as Shizuo had approached him so close and intrusively. This was a lot different though.
"And you don't need or even want my heart. I don't know where that came from but this stupid fairy tale curse probably installed that idea into your head. Anyway," he said, sliding away from Shizuo again to give himself his space. He sat there awkwardly, a hand rubbing against the back of his neck as he stared out at the garden.
Then he spoke: "Y вас уже есть сердце."
His eyes rolled back over to Shizuo and for the first time in a long time, he felt an odd sort of relief wash over him and he found himself to be smiling. It wasn't a blank or distant smile but something rare and genuine. He stood up suddenly and leaned down in front of Shizuo, touching his finger under Shizuo's chin.
"И ты полный идиот." His hands moved to either side of Shizuo's face and he carefully lifted his head, examining him with critical eyes.
"Shizu-chan, you're so handsome," he cooed lowly, taking a sickened advantage of the situation before he leaned in very close. Close enough that it seemed as though he were actually about to kiss him. Instead, their noses brushed and his eyes brimmed with something indescribable.
"Why don't you go to the castle and find a princess to save?"
no subject
Oh.
Then it dawned on Shizuo.
But he said nothing. He watched as Izaya pulled himself away and talked about how he didn't need his heart, and said all of those words that he didn't understand. He kept Izaya in his vision, saw him smile a beautiful smile that Shizuo wanted to keep as his, even though he knew he couldn't. He sat still and patient even as it hurt to do so.
Then Izaya was close again, but this time it hurt, and Shizuo stared at him with open pain, visible in the way he met Izaya's eyes. "I don't want a princess," and for a very brief moment, a familiar wave of anger flowed through him. He had tried to find a princess and failed that too, because it had never been his place - his place was right here and yet -
"You're saying all those things because of what I did to you." The contact between their noses, the close proximity - it was enough to make what Izaya said seem somewhat far off, but Shizuo couldn't let it go. It was important. He brought his hand to Izaya's heart, touching it against his chest very gently.
"You don't think I can treat it right, do you? Because I tried to tear it out of you." He couldn't look at Izaya anymore. Without moving, he dropped his stare down to the ground. "I want you to believe me."
Then, he looked back up, his expression suddenly brightened - happy. He brought his hand from Izaya's chest to his cheek - his face was so close, Shizuo could just lean in - but no. He couldn't. Instead, he moved his thumb over Izaya's lip, tenderly.
"I know what to do," he whispered, taking Izaya's hand in his and placing it over his own heart. "You can have mine instead." He let go, and pulled out the dagger he kept at his thigh, holding it out to Izaya.
"It's yours. You can do whatever you want with it, and I'll be happy."
no subject
Izaya moved his head back, an expression of indescribable surprise on his face when Shizuo touched his hand to his heart and he laughed dryly- just once.
"Tried?" he said and for a moment, looked amused as though Shizuo had told a joke. "I think you went beyond trying." He didn't say much more than that though because it was pointless. These words. Everything that Shizuo was saying and doing. It was breaking and thundering into that carefully constructed egotistic wall he had crafted around something very vital, very fragile, and very quietly kept. It was tearing it out brutally and Izaya was already sort of wavering in the in between of control and out of control.
And just like that- he lost it.
He barked out a harsh laugh, his hand going up to cover his mouth and obscure that humiliating noise of ironic hurt and it slid up and over his eyes to cover anything that might give away what Shizuo just made him feel.
"Shizuo," he said, his voice strained and then he laughed again. That cracked, horrible laugh that was a mirror image of what a dying animal might sound like. It seized him like a fit of laughter usually would and his legs trembled before he finally just gave in and let himself go to his knees in front of Shizuo. He grabbed Shizuo's pant leg and brought his face to rest in against the inside of Shizuo's leg. His laughter was muffled as his shoulders shook with the effort of it all.
"Jesus Christ," he said through breaths, and somewhere in that obscure, horrible laughter, was the breathy gasp of an occasional sob. Izaya composed himself the moment he caught himself doing that and bit his tongue, smiling wildly against Shizuo's leg, his eyes wide open and dry but God were they distant. A thousand miles away and a million years too old.
He reached a hand up suddenly and took that blade from Shizuo's hand and he lifted his head for a moment. He stared at Shizuo, his expression still the same, that parted-mouth smile on his face as he rose his hand with the dagger up towards Shizuo's chest before he slid the blade over the surface of Shizuo's clothes with a pathetic amount of strength. It only left a wake in the clothing- it didn't even tear it in the slightest. He then whipped the knife with impressive accuracy away from him and into the nearest post of the gazebo- where it stuck into the wood promptly.
"Your heart will never be mine. No matter what type of disgusting curse you're under."
no subject
If he had downright rejected his heart, it would have been less painful. If he had stabbed that dagger right through his heart, Shizuo would welcomed it, and it would have been less painful. But this - Izaya was breaking, and somehow it was his fault. He had screwed up by trying and failing to take Izaya's heart by force, had screwed up by forcing him into a promise, and now - now he had broken him. In the back of his mind - which just couldn't catch up, couldn't process - Shizuo wondered if Izaya's heart was even whole, anymore. The way he laughed - sobbed, grabbed his leg - it sounded broken. He broke it. It hadn't even been his and he had broken it.
He hoped - wished as hard as he could - that Izaya would just stab him, because surely death would hurt less than this - but no. Izaya didn't even tear his clothes. He tossed the dagger away. Shizuo felt rejected and responsible for the pain and a ton of things he couldn't understand.
He took Izaya by the shoulders, holding him back away from his legs, and joined him on the ground, kneeling as well. He hated that expression, the way that Izaya's eyes looked - what he had done. Shizuo pulled Izaya to him in a hug and began to mumble over and over again, "I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm sorry." He held him tightly, but carefully, and Shizuo felt like his own heart was in pieces now, too, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps.
"I'm - I'm going to make it better. I promise. I'll show you, I'll prove it, I'll make it better - just. Please. Please stop. I'm - I can't. I'm sorry." Shizuo clenched his teeth, cutting off sound, short breaths escaping through them. He was shaking and God - his forehead felt hot and he felt like he'd never be able to let Izaya go - not like this, not after what he had done.
no subject
It was like a bad dream.
He didn't touch Shizuo back. He listened to the apologies and promises. The things that he knew very well were in due part of the curse. He closed his eyes and let them wash over him. Hearing them in Shizuo's voice, from the man in question, was hilarious. It was a practical joke.
"All right, Shizu-chan," he said finally, quietly, and perhaps a bit bitterly. "If you say so."
It was pointless to argue with Shizuo when he was like this. He would just continue to deny it. For whatever reason this Shizuo seemed to care for him in some fucked up kind of way. Izaya managed to pull himself back enough to look at Shizuo and he seemed to be calm again. Although there was an underlying distress, an exhaust back on his face.
"Hey, hey, you know how you woke me up from that slumber with a kiss?" he said, and he knew that this was suicidal, but in a way...Maybe it would work. He recalled talking to Zelda that evening and maybe there was something about this kiss thing that would work. Or maybe he was just being even more masochistic than he already had to be.
"You're in a pretty deep sleep yourself right now. So, maybe-." He stopped. This was stupid...But...That kiss kept itself in his head like a disease.
"You... could try and let me kiss you, ne?"
no subject
"I want you to smile again..." His voice was very quiet, and somewhat strained. Izaya's expression had shaken him, deeply. Shizuo silently promised himself that he would make Izaya smile like he did earlier. No matter what happened.
Shizuo wasn't asleep, and he didn't really understand why Izaya thought he was - that only made him more confused. But he wouldn't deny Izaya a simple request like that, so he answered quickly, "Yes. Okay."
But hesitated thereafter, staring, expression openly fearful.
"I'm afraid." He laughed, but there's nothing pleasant in it. "I don't know why I'm afraid, but I am." What if he was sleeping? What if this shattered everything? What if Izaya was right?
"Wait. Don't move." Shizuo stood and retrieved the dagger that Izaya had thrown, pulling it out and bringing it back to where Izaya was, kneeling once again. Without letting another beat pass, he dragged it across his chest, using his strength to make sure it cut through both his clothes and skin. It was a little sloppy, but it worked - a slash over his heart, not very different from the one Izaya had given him years ago.
"Now I can't forget. No matter what happens. I'll have this to remind me." It helped relieve some of his fear, lifted some of his tension. He smiled at Izaya - a sad smile, but with some hope.
"Okay. You can kiss me and wake me up."
no subject
"Yeah, well. I'm pretty afraid too," he muttered because if Shizuo woke up from this- Izaya really didn't even want to imagine what that meant. Would Shizuo remember? That didn't even matter anymore. Shizuo would wake up and just know that he wanted to crush Izaya's wind pipes and throw him half-way across Vatheon.
He was so caught up in his thought that he didn't really even register what Shizuo was doing until the tearing sound of his shirt startled him and his eyes widened.
"What the hell are you-" he began to snap, but then realized that Shizuo was in the mentality of some pathetic romantic from a fairy tale. He stared at the slash, the one that looked so very familiar, and the blood that oozed from it. He looked up at Shizuo and sort of just sneered at him.
"You're an idiot," he said, before he snatched the dagger from Shizuo and spun it easily in hand to bring it to his own body. He didn't even hesitate when he ground the knife into his own chest. It was a direct stab. It wasn't a slash but a solid stick into his chest. He grimaced faintly as a good inch of the knife sunk in before he ripped it out- and out with it came a bit of his own blood, of which was now mixed with Shizuo's on the dagger. He could feel the pain but was numb enough that he didn't register it beyond its general existence.
Instead, he took the dagger to his mouth and slid it between his lips- making the dagger clean by taking that blood into his mouth. He tossed the dagger aside, grabbed Shizuo by his face and brought their mouths together in a brutal kiss. It was harsh and violent and angry but most of all, it was floored down with a withheld passion and when Izaya submerged his tongue into Shizuo's mouth- it wasn't out of lust but a pained desire to shake Shizuo awake. The blood in his mouth mixed into Shizuo's and soon everything was a mixture. The taste of Shizuo's tongue, his blood, Izaya's blood, Izaya's mouth- it all became blindingly the same and Izaya's body sank against Shizuo's as he kissed him.
But the kiss became gentle somewhere there. It became tender and aware. His tongue slid easily over Shizuo's and his lips fit well against Shizuo's in a way that he'd remember for a long time. Finally, with reluctance, he broke the kiss with a final peck to Shizuo's mouth and withdrew, his eyes opening anxiously and his mouth a dark red from the rather- gory kiss.
no subject
There was nothing he could do about it, though, because Izaya's move was sudden and intense, and they were kissing in a way that stung and yet felt so incredibly right. Shizuo tasted the blood and felt as though he could taste the anger and violence, too, but he matched Izaya's vigor. He wanted this kiss more that he had ever wanted anything - he knew that now, as Izaya's tongue met his, as everything blended together between the two of them. Shizuo responded to Izaya's body by moving his own so he could hold him, arms around Izaya, passion matched.
And then it was gentle. Perfect. It felt, to Shizuo, in his final moments in the mind frame of the huntsman, that this was what should have happened a long time ago. Lips became gentle, their tongues moving together tenderly rather than with force. And with the final peck, an awareness settled onto Shizuo - slow, like a ripple throughout his mind. There was no crashing, no sense of sudden awareness, just a subtle awakening. His felt felt foggy and he tasted blood on his lips, and Izaya was pulling back and -
Shizuo was himself again.
Only he wasn't. He'd never be the same again, and he knew it. This curse had changed everything.
His expression was tender, at first, but began to change into clear, bright fear. Shizuo brought a shaking hand to his mouth and wiped. Pulling it back, he looked at it. Blood. There was blood on his lips and on his chest - from his chest - and Izaya was bleeding, too - and oh god, he had sliced Izaya's chest days ago, hadn't he? The memories wouldn't stop resurfacing, one-by-one, with an awful slowness. Shizuo stared at Izaya and felt so openly vulnerable and broken that if it weren't Izaya who had been facing him, Shizuo could have cried. Everything hurt in a way he did not understand. His chest, especially. Oh god, his chest - and not the cut. He didn't even feel that.
He had no desire to crush Izaya's windpipe. No desire to send him flying halfway across Vatheon, or even across the garden. He had no desire to touch Izaya at all, because if he did, Shizuo might be violently ill. He put his head in his hands, which became fists in his hair, and groaned, body shaking.
He was awake. Painfully, terribly awake, and all Shizuo wanted to do was go back to sleep.
no subject
Nothing would ever be the same again.
Things had been warped and ruined before but now everything was obliterated. He had shown too much. He had let too much go and let too much be revealed. Shizuo remembered it all. Izaya stood up at once, his whole body rigid. He didn't know what to do. He felt like he was found out without having been found out and all he could really do was stare at the mess that was supposed to be the Strongest Man in Ikebukuro- but was now just this ruin of a creature that was making these sounds.
What was so tragic anyway?
"You're a monster. Start acting like one," Izaya hissed at Shizuo, angry at his display of hurt emotion. "What the hell are you groaning about? There's nothing for you to be hurt over. Stop it," he said, and with his right foot, he brought it up and rammed it into Shizuo's side. It was a spontaneously violent, useless act of hate that really was just the equivalent of a five year old stomping their foot and pouting because they just didn't understand.
"You don't have a God damn heart for any of this. But if you are hurting..." He smiled sweetly, that bittersweet smile of his, and put his arms behind his back and bent over to look icily at the blond's head, his mouth a wicked smile. He had shoved that fortress back up around himself because there was no way- no way in hell he was going to stay on his knees and break more than he had to.
"I hope to God it breaks everything inside of you. And I hope to God you have nightmares about this for weeks. I can only dream of you feeling even an ounce of pain that-" He stopped himself, his tone slightly crazed. He straightened up and put his hand back over his face, laughing quietly behind it.
"I can't believe..." He shook his head and turned away from the body guard. Away from the man that, essentially, Orihara Izaya was in love with.
And he walked away from the gazebo, his eyes hardened and his mouth fixed. He didn't know if Shizuo would follow. He didn't really care. This night changed everything in an eternal way and Izaya didn't want to stick around for the repercussions so he did what he did best- run away.
no subject
He wanted to hate Izaya just as much as Izaya wanted him to become that monster. He tried, in those moments, tried really hard - but he hadn't had the time to process, to reassert himself, to shove everything back down into something quiet and misunderstood. He wanted to say something. Might have, even, but Izaya didn't let him. Instead, Izaya kicked him, and of course he hardly felt it physically - but mentally. Emotionally. Izaya kicked him while he was down and so incredibly lost that it hurt more than any other physical slight Izaya could have ever taken against him.
Shizuo hated him. He hated him so god damn much that he wanted Izaya to die, because Shizuo fucking felt for him. He fucking -
Shizuo held his breath as Izaya came close, pointedly did not look at him, refused to look at him. And those words. Shizuo wanted the rage to respond, wanted to make Izaya pay for ever wishing such a terrible curse on him, but it was too soon, too fresh. He was too vulnerable. Unlike Izaya, his own fortress had not yet been shoved up. There hadn't been any time. Shizuo was too slow.
As Izaya straightened back up, Shizuo slumped against the gazebo and started laughing. There was nothing of humor, joy, or even mild amusement in that laugh. It was broken, raw, and emotional. Shizuo might as well had been crying - but there were no tears, just dry laughter.
"It will!" he called out at Izaya. No, he wouldn't - couldn't, in his condition - give chase, but he could yell at him before it was too late. "It already has, Izaya! But it's fucked you up, too! You're broken, I can see it! And you're running away like the bastard you are, you fucking flea."
And Shizuo laughed and laughed.
no subject
The problem was that Shizuo had never been an ordinary case. Shizuo had never made Izaya feel normal and he had never made their situation any easier. It complicated things. And had Shizuo been anyone else, Izaya might have been able to keep on walking. But he had always had trouble walking away from Shizuo and ignoring him.
This was one of those times.
He stopped in his tracks and stared out into the darkness of the garden. This sacred place that promised love and romance and praised for it. It was ironic.
Then just like that, he was inexplicably back in front of Shizuo. Moving as fast as ever, he was right there, crouched down in front of Shizuo and in his face like the aggressive side of him tended to get. That wild smile was back in place and his eyes were screeching something furious. There was a brilliant shine of hatred in his eyes- but more than that, there was another emotion. Something a lot different but at the same time- not such a far cry from hate.
"You can see it now?" he asked, tilting his head almost entirely to the side. "Congratulations, Shizu-chan, I'm so glad you're not that blind. Maybe it's because you're not wearing your stupid sunglasses right now," he snarked lowly before he threw his arms out to either side of him and stood back up.
"Not running away now, Shizuo. Am I still a bastard? I bet I am, you son of a bitch. But you're a bastard for not getting up and chasing me. Say, if you mock me for running away, then what would you like me to do, Shizu-chan? Gut myself and spread out my organs for you to poke at?" he asked because he could only feel an unleashed rage. It was a hurt that he hadn't felt in a very long time.
The worst part was the fact that it was from Shizuo admitting that it was fucking him up. From the fact that Shizuo wasn't really denying anything.
no subject
Still, he stared back at Izaya, met that hatred. There was nothing tender in Shizuo's face now. It was dark, accusatory - and his own familiar, twisted grin began to take over.
Izaya asked him what he would like him to do. One more short laugh, and then Shizuo was on him, quickly and forcefully shoving Izaya to the ground beneath him, twisted grin still on his face. He didn't know where the original dagger went, but the thing about being a huntsman, you always have a spare. Shizuo slipped it out from his boot. This one was smaller, but it would serve its purpose just fine.
"You know what you problem is?" Shizuo asked, a mock laced in his tone. "You're a coward. The high and mighty Orihara Izaya is nothing but a fucking coward." Shizuo used the dagger to slit Izaya's suit, shirt, and tie all in one go - just as he had his hoodie a couple of nights ago. There - both the stab wound and the healing slash across his heart. Shizuo put his free hand over them. Pressed.
"I asked you to give me your heart." Shizuo brought the dagger to his own slash mark, but only traced it in the air, without contact. "Then I told you you could have mine. And you didn't believe me." He then slit his own shit downward, similarly. "You think I'm the idiot?" He forced Izaya's hand to grab the knife and made it press into his chest, pricking it.
"Take it, you asshole. You fucking worthless flea. I'm not like you. I don't go back on my promises." He pressed harder. "Take it."
no subject
Instead, he could only stare up at Shizuo, his eyes wide as Shizuo pulled out another blade and started to talk. He flinched as his clothes were torn and he listened- oh did he listen. His teeth were grounded together, like a feral animal trying to defend itself but knowing that it's already losing ground. Just like that, the white king had made his move and declared the ultimate check mate. And Izaya was fucked.
The knife in his hand was useless. It wasn't his knife. It wasn't the situation he had created. This was all unpredicted. It was out of his control. And for once in his life- Izaya was rendered speechless. The knife in his hand trembled, the tip bumping harmlessly against Shizuo's revealed chest.
"I'm not worthless," he said coolly, his grip tightening and becoming firm as he finally found his footing. "And I'm not a coward. I'm not anything you think I am. You don't know me whatsoever," he said and he pulled his hand back and then plunged it out, driving the dagger straight into Shizuo- all the way inside of him.
Except. It was right through his chest. Just one inch away from where his heart actually was.
"I don't want your heart," he spat, using the knife as leverage to lift himself off of the ground, using his elbow in support as he crashed their foreheads together. He twisted the knife in Shizuo's body.
"Not like this."
And then pulled the knife out. He lowered himself back away from Shizuo, a spiteful look on his face as he glared at the one man who knew just how to destroy everything about him.
no subject
His eyes communicated some surprise at being stabbed, but his grin didn't falther - not as Izaya used it as leverage to lift himself up, not as Izaya twisted it. Only when Izaya pulled it out did Shizuo have an oh shit moment where his hand went to his chest and was instantly soaked with blood. He coughed and tasted blood, too. It was a damn shame Izaya hadn't actually hit his heart - but then again, neither of them could ever deliver that final blow. They had determined that weeks ago.
"Ahha," Shizuo half-laughed. "This actually hurts a little," and there was hint of admiration, there. Izaya had made him feel something. Izaya always managed to make him feel things.
He forced himself to stand and - ah. He legs were weak. He hadn't felt like this since - since getting shot and waking up in Vatheon. Yeah, he could walk, and yeah, he'd live, but it was interesting to be rendered weaker. Not too far off from being run over by a truck, he supposed.
"You've rejected me twice. Maybe I don't know you." He patted his outfit trying to find his cigarettes, but they weren't there. "I'm pretty oblivious to a lot of things, right? I am an idiot." He had owned up to that before, more than once. "But. Now I have your heart and you don't have mine."
A pause.
"I don't know Russian, but I saw the way you looked. You won't take what I have, so I have more than you." Of course he knew. It had been obvious, even to an idiot like him. That smile. The one that made him promise himself to make Izaya smile like that again. It was laughable now, a sick joke. All of it.
He shrugged then. "I'd hit you with a street sign if I could, but there aren't any here and I'm bleeding." He touched the wound again and held it out to Izaya. "You remember what you did, when you bled?" He moved forward and took Izaya's hand, pressing his thumb against his palm.
"Only I'm out of promises."
He wasn't sure he was making sense. His hands were shaking, again, and he wondered if it was because of how he felt or if the stab wound was losing too much blood. The ability to quickly replace lost blood wasn't one he had. He'd have to get to Shinra or the clinic or. Zelda. Zelda could heal. He'd find her, because she'd understand - she always did.
But Zelda couldn't heal emotional wounds.
"Nnn. I don't remember what I was saying. But I still think you're a coward, even if you say you aren't." He started walking, albeit slowly, toward the dining area, where Zelda had gone some time before.