vatheon | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Izaya and whoever wants to interact
Where: Plaza. Probably near the elevator.
When: Evening about.
Style: Action. Because.
Status: Open

[It's not that unusual to see Izaya looking happy. It's just unusual to see him lugging so much shit with him. Okay, it's not a lot, but by his standard- it's too much.

There's a telescope slung around his shoulder, a blanket under the other arm, and then a basket filled with who knows what, probably heads of dullahans or something, in his spare hand.

He's peering up at the bubble as he makes his way towards the elevator.

When. Oh no. A book that had been crammed into the top of the basket topples out. The tragedy.

But look.

Izaya keeps walking. Wow, his attention must be elsewhere pretty intense. And what is that book anyway? It looks weird. Are those instructions on human sacrifice------!!!

Actually it's just a fairy tale. But who can read kanji anyway? Aw look at the fairies-]

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[Between saying goodbye to Zelda and suffering through some lapses in control, Shizuo has had a rough week. Though it hasn't been all bad - he did meet two people who were interested in helping him learn how to control his strength - it certainly hasn't been among his best.

He has been spending a lot of time out and about - keeping his mind off of his empty apartment by trying to stay busy. After spending his Friday all around Vatheon, Shizuo is finishing off a cigarette and heading home, when he catches sight of Izaya. It's a little weird, randomly - rather than intentionally - running into his boyfriend, especially since Izaya seems to be busy and absorbed in his activity. Shizuo might have let him go about his way without saying anything, since he is so focused, but then Izaya drops the book.

Shizuo discards his cigarette, walks over, and picks the book up. He doesn't bother glancing down at it, not being interested in books in general and also knowing better than to pry in whatever it is Izaya is doing.]

Hey. You're dropping things.

[That familiar voice is enough to elicit quite the response from the informant. Twirling about, he all but skips over to Shizuo. It's been a little while so you can only imagine how happy he actually is to see the other man.]

Thanks, Shizu-chan.

[He takes the book from Shizuo and carefully wedges it back into the basket. Yeah. So.

Dropping the basket and blanket carelessly onto the ground, he throws his arms up and around Shizuo's neck and forces them into this rather compact and over-the-top hug that really wasn't necessary since it hadn't been that long since they last saw each other.

But. Izaya also. Feels comfortable enough to finally do this. So he's just going to cling onto a tight hold here.]

Nnn! Shizu-chan looks so handsome tonight. What are you up to anyway? Taking a luxurious stroll through the city at such a late hour?

[He's actually not prying. He's just sort of making light conversation. While...Hanging off of Shizuo. Whatever. Shizuo can support the weight.]

[Maybe the hug is a little over the top, but as Izaya throws his arms around him, Shizuo realizes it's just what he needs. True, it hasn't been that long, but Shizuo kind of missed Izaya. That hug makes everything else that happened that week seem distant. He puts his arms around Izaya and gives him a careful squeeze.]

I'm not doing anything. Just heading back.

[But he doesn't feel like doing that anymore.]

What are you doing, carrying all this stuff?

[He doesn't add the by yourself that he thinks about tacking onto the question. Even if Izaya wanted to be left alone for the evening to do whatever it was he planned on doing, Shizuo could have helped him carry things. So that he didn't drop them. Isn't that what boyfriends were supposed to do?]

[Just. Going to squeeze back. Izaya sort of needed it himself. Not that the past week had been particularly difficult for him but now that he was with Shizuo, he felt that disgusting attachment that he had heard about through various teenage girls.

Not that he was nearly as bad. He loosens his hold a bit more and finally just drops down onto his feet. But he stays close.]

Well I don't see how else it's going to make it up onto the island if I don't.

[Duh, Shizu-chan. He turns away from him and bends over to scoop everything back up but when he turns around, he pushes the basket in to Shizuo's chest.]

But you can help carry this if you like. I'd like the company.

[If Shizuo didn't mind.]

[Shizuo's a little disappointed when Izaya finally lets go, though of course it makes sense. They can't just stand there hugging in the middle of Vatheon with all that stuff strewn about.

That isn't exactly what he meant by the question, but taking a better look at the stuff as Izaya begins picking it up, he guesses it's kind of obvious.]

I'll go with you.

[He takes the basket, and then reaches out and takes the telescope from Izaya, too. There's no point in having him carry something heavy like that when he's around.

He definitely doesn't mind. He wants to keep Izaya company.]

It can be like a romantic date.

[Or something. He grins at Shizuo, although feels a touch concerned. Shizuo doesn't seem exhilarated to see him or anything. And obviously Izaya is going to be a little paranoid.

For a while anyway.]

Something on your mind, Shizu-chan?

[Careful selection of words and still asked in a relatively perky voice. He walks next to Shizuo, staying close as they approach the elevator.]

You seem pretty out of it.

[Shizuo smiles a small smile at that.]

We should go on more dates.

[Dates that didn't involve curses or apologies - not that those hadn't been nice, but Shizuo wants to enjoy Izaya without all the complications of those things.]

I guess. It's been kind of a long week.

[He shrugs easily, despite the burden of the telescope and basket.]

Got in a couple of fights. [Well. Four, if you counted his sparring session with Serph. Kind of a backslide.]

I'm fine, though.

[Maybe not exhilarated, but he is glad to see Izaya.]

Oh.

[Color him surprised.]

Well, sure, Shizu-chan. That'd be pretty nice. And it is kind of what boyfriends do.

[A smile because Shizuo has his moments of being endearing. Not to mention, Izaya agrees wholeheartedly. They needed more dates and events together that weren't so....

High strung. He wanted to just be able to enjoy Shizuo's company. Izaya wasn't big on high strung situations. It made things come out that he liked to have nice and reserved.]

Did you? [He frowns at that. Only because Shizuo sounds sort of put out over it.]

Yeah, you look pretty fine.

[He stares at Shizuo as they get into the elevator and make their way up.]

So what happened with the fights? Was it Vegeta again or someone new?

Not Vegeta.

[He hasn't seen Vegeta since...Izaya and Sola jumped from the building. And judging by how disappointed Vegeta had been upon coming to the conclusion that Shizuo is human, they wouldn't be fighting again. It's probably for the best.]

Someone who knows him, though. We talked about meditation.

[He mentions that because it had been an idea of Izaya's, when they texted back and forth about control. And...]

You were right. [Obviously. Even when they were enemies instead of boyfriends, Shizuo didn't contest Izaya's ability to be right about a lot of things.] About finding people who'd be interested in helping me out.

[So really, good things had happened as a result of his temper...more or less. He'd have preferred to get there without hitting a couple of people halfway across Vatheon, though.

He lets Izaya step out of the elevator first, then follows.]

What have you been doing?

[He wants to hear more about Izaya - in general, really. During the last curse, Izaya had talked freely about aspects of his life - his mother, in particular - and that had been nice. Shizuo wants to learn more about him - without being fogged by a fever. When he visited with Ion, it occurred to Shizuo that there were parts of Izaya's life he knew nothing about.

Like how he seemed fond of Ion.]

What was their name?

[Honestly. You can't mention someone around Izaya and not expect to give a name. Especially when dealing with Shizuo. Maybe it was a little constrictive but Izaya did want to know every little detail about Shizuo and his social life. It's not like he hadn't before.

This time around, he would ask though rather than stalk.]

When will you learn~? I'm always right. Besides, I've learned that this city is filled with prophets and people convinced of better selves and things like that. If anything, this is the city you're going to blossom in, Shizu-chan.

[Izaya leads Shizuo across the island and to the beach. The shore is gliding up in quiet crashes but it's enough to make Izaya feel a bit happy to be there with Shizuo. At some point, he stops and spreads the blanket out. It's a little near the water but Izaya's not too worried about that.]

Not a whole lot. Just existing as I usually do.

[Of course it's a vague answer. What do you expect? He sits down on the blanket and pats the spot next to him.]

You can set everything down. Get comfortable.

[And proceeds to remove his shoes and socks. Also his jacket, folding that up and putting it aside. He throws himself back onto the blanket and stares up at the sky.]

Hn....When was the last time you saw stars like this?

[What was that guy's name again? Shizuo had been kind of distracted by the fact that he was pretty strong...Oh right.]

Trunks. I think. Something like that, anyway.

[He likes hearing that from Izaya - that faith. That he could control himself - could blossom. It means a lot to him, and not just because Izaya is his boyfriend - but also because Izaya was his enemy for years, and had constantly exploited his anger and strength.]

I hope so.

[But that's enough about him. He sets the telescope and basket down, and joins Izaya on the blanket, moving in close enough so that they're touching. He doesn't look up right away, though, instead leaning to the side so he can look at Izaya.]

That's a bad answer. I didn't give you an answer like that.

[And he could have. But he gets an idea.]

I have something else to tell you, you know.

[He turns away from Izaya now and looks up at the sky. There are a lot of stars. And honestly, Shizuo can't remember the last time he saw such a nice sky.]

I'll tell you when you decide to tell me things.

[It's a somewhat distracted mumble, because now he's focused on the sky.]

I don't think I ever have seen stars like this.

[Even if Ikebukuro didn't drown out the sky with lights and activities, Shizuo isn't sure he ever would have bothered really looking. It's nice.]

If you wanted a specific answer, maybe you should have gone for a specific question.

[He turns his head to look at Shizuo. He's not trying to be difficult. He's just not the number one expertise on exploiting himself so freely and at whim.

But then Shizuo does exactly the one thing that would definitely make Izaya twitch.

Present something that he did not know.]

Ah, is that right? What do you have to tell me, Shizu-chan?

[He sounds rather enlightened by the idea- only to pout a second later. What the fuck type of bargain was that?]

What things, Shizu-chan?

[What a dick. But Izaya sighs heavily and turns his head back around to stare up at the sky. It was hard not to get distracted by it. He makes some huffed noise of agreement before his body stretches out along side Shizuo's.

It's like there's a static between them. Their arms are barely touching and it's starting to fry his nerves. He gives in and scoots that one inch to press their bodies together. His fingers curl into Shizuo's palm but he doesn't outright grab his hand.]

Ask me something and I'll let you know. And you better not be bluffing with the whole, 'I have something else to tell you' thing or it won't end very well.

[Maybe he is being a little bit of a dick, but it's not like Izaya was an open book. Shizuo has a lot of ideas on how a relationship is supposed to go and most of those ideas are founded on mutual sharing and acceptance. He had already committed himself to accepting Izaya entirely - and Izaya had already tested those boundaries. What harm could a little sharing do?

And...he might be a little excited by the prospect of getting a little bit of an edge on Izaya. Since it is a pretty rare occurrence.]

I'm not bluffing.

[That's kind of an offensive suggestion. Shizuo doesn't make lying a habit.

He curls his fingers around Izaya's, absently making little circles with them on Izaya's skin.]

You could tell me about what you did today. Or this week. Or how you feel. Tell me about how you spent your time.

I don't know. Is it so bad that I just want to know about you?

[He knows Izaya, but there are plenty of things he doesn't know. He only just learned about his birthday a week ago.]

Fine.

[It makes sense that Shizuo wants to know these kind of things. Izaya figures. It's a little awkward for him to be asked such...trivial questions about the things he had done. He didn't think it was important or even worth discussing.

But then Izaya realizes Shizuo's really no different than him. Izaya always wanted to know what Shizuo was up to.

He shifts around on the blanket before ever-so-casually curving over onto his side and bringing his head to rest into the comfortable groove of Shizuo's shoulder.

After a bit of fussing around, he got Shizuo's arm around him and okay- comfortable positions are a-go.]

Let's see...I read a book. It was about these arctic animals from one of the other worlds which was kind of interesting. I also read a religious text that the city had on the Coral. Religion is pretty interesting to me. Even if it is kind of idiocy. I didn't spend too much time at home. Although I think I should. It's been a while since I've seen Laharl and he'll get snappy with me. He's such a cute kid though.

[He's rambling a little but it's easier than he realized. To talk about himself. Just let Shizuo know.]

Nn! I had this sandwich thing today that was really good. I had the chef make it for me personally and everything. I really like that. I like when people cook for me. Or prepare me food. You can really tell a lot about someone when they do that. How they present it and everything. The spices they use. I mean you can make a turkey sandwich but then you can make a turkey sandwich.

[Yeah so why were you asking Izaya to talk again? Really, Shizuo.]

So what did you have to tell me?

[Shizuo likes Izaya being so close. It's comfortable. Right.

He listens to the ramble, and it makes him smile a little. They might have been trivial details, but they were Izaya's trivial details. That made them automatically interesting.]

You like your roommates, don't you?

[He says it casually and totally has not been thinking about that fact a lot the past few days. Not at all.]

Maybe I'll cook for you one day.

[Shizuo isn't great at cooking, but he can make more than a turkey sandwich. And this is a nice detail to know - gives him a little to work off of in the future.]

Thanks.

[It is sincere. He appreciates that Izaya just talked - even if he had to bargain to get him there.]

I said goodbye to Zelda. For good.

[No matter which way Shizuo had looked at that situation, it had come down to a choice between Izaya and Zelda. And Shizuo had chosen.]

Un, yeah. They're like brothers I never had. Especially Laharl. He's got such a crush on me. It's pretty funny!

[He even laughs. It's good-natured, actually. He has no real cruel intentions towards the little demon. If anything, he's protective.]

But nn. They're good boys.

[Izaya perks up considerably then, sliding over a bit onto his stomach so that he could look down at Shizuo. He looks excited at that idea.]

Seriously? I had no idea that neanderthals knew how to cook. Then again, they invented fire so....

[He's teasing but that idea really sounds good.

But then Izaya's smile fades and he stares at Shizuo for a long moment.

He said good bye to Zelda. For good. He sits up a little bit, a hand going next to Shizuo's head for support.]

What do you mean? [No. He knows what he means.] Why? Why did you do that?

[He doesn't sound mad. He doesn't sound guilty. He's just- acknowledging, his face carefully blank. He wanted to gauge the situation first before reacting.]

[It really is nice that Izaya has company like that, but...it's just strange, to Shizuo. For a lot of reasons. It makes him miss his former roommates. And Izaya being surrounded by people he seems to care for - calling them brothers - it just seemed so...Shizuo doesn't know what adjective to assign to it. He had just imagined Izaya as being more isolated - even though he knew that his roommates cared for him.

He's just getting hung up on little things that don't matter, and he knows it, but he thought that he and Izaya shared that sense of isolation.

It's stupid, really. Shizuo immediately discounts the idea. It isn't like Izaya needs to be lonely to want him. And he had moved out of Zelda's place by choice.]

It's good that you have them, then.

[And that's all he'll say about it.

He doesn't take the insult seriously, even smiles at it. He'll come up with something good to cook and surprise Izaya, he decides.]

What do you mean, why?

[That - irritates Shizuo. A lot. What kind of question is that? Isn't it glaringly obvious? He glares. What a stupid question.]

What do you think?

[Shizuo sits up entirely. He wants a break from looking at stars, and instead takes out his pack of cigarettes.]

I had to make a choice.

[Obviously. Izaya had put him in that position.]

[Really, the ironic thing was that they did share the sense of isolation. It was exactly why Izaya had roommates. It was why he had had Namie back in Shinjuku. And he hated Namie but at least it was something to keep him from eating at himself.

There were things that Izaya did to make sure he didn't reign complete and total terror over his own mental scope.

It just wasn't something he liked to share with other people. That vulnerability.]

I guess. It keeps me in check when I need to be kept in check.

[He doesn't say much more.

Of course, the light mood is gone and Izaya feels a minor sense of dread pull at his stomach. He keeps an impassive face, though the corner of his mouth twitches in faint annoyance.]

It was just a question. Relax-

[He removes himself entirely from Shizuo and sits on his calves, watching him with hard eyes. Tch.]

Tch. Says who?

[He pushes himself up onto his feet and looks down at Shizuo.]

I didn't ask you to completely cut off ties from her. I realize that you're very close with her. I just didn't feel like being last place in your life. Like I always am-was. I didn't want you to be alone completely. It's not like I wanted to rip your relationship apart with her. If I had, I would have made her hate you. Don't need to get pissy at me.

[He huffs because this was dumb. He shakes his head and scoops up his telescope. He walks a few steps away from the blanket and begins to unfold the device, setting it up in the wet sand, ignoring the water over his feet for the most part. Even if it was a little cold.

Izaya had put him in the position to make him choose whether Zelda or he was more important. He hadn't put him in the position to choose whether or not he would even talk to Zelda at all ever again. That's bull. He's just going to glare into his telescope.]

[Shizuo lights his cigarette and takes a long, hard drag from it. It's already halfway to the filter. He doesn't stand up after Izaya, and instead chooses to look up at him from where he sits on the blanket.]

I didn't do it because you asked or told me to. I did it because you put me in a place where I had to.

[He's pretty damn frustrated right now, but he focuses on dragging at his cigarette rather than getting up and making it into a big ordeal. They need to deal with this at some point, might as well be now.]

You wanted to hurt her. You did hurt her. You might hurt her again if you get upset again. I'm not as stupid as you make me sound. I know you're not a wholly good person. I knew it when I told you that I accept you. It comes with accepting all of you.

[He flicks the ash off his cigarette a little harder than he intends.]

And if loving you means that bad things might happen, then fine, Izaya. I still choose you. I'd just rather her stay out of it.

[It is a pretty big sacrifice and he'd appreciate it if Izaya were a little bit more grateful. Zelda had been family to him.]

[A hand closes tightly around his telescope and he resists the violent urge to whip it right at Shizuo's head.]

Yes. And I'm sure that's why you decided I was suddenly your most important person too, right, because I put you in a position to make that choice.

[Maybe that's a harsh accusation but he's a little irritated.

No, scratch that, he was a little furious.]

You still don't trust me.

[A scoff and he turns around, staring down at Shizuo. He puts his arms over his chest.]

I wanted to hurt her long before you came around. But yeah. You constantly putting her ahead of me and our relationship made me want to hurt her more. Despite all of your promises of me having your heart, you never really took my heart. No. You just put it up on your shelf to look at but not to hold.

But I made you decide. Because I didn't feel like being short-handed for you anymore. If I hadn't, we'd still be in an awkward waltz and you'd still go straight to Zelda before you'd ever come to me.

Tch. Thanks, Shizu-chan.

[He sneers a little at the blond.]

I planned on keeping her out of it. I already hurt her once. The least I can do for you is not hurt her again. I already feel bad that I made you choose me. I didn't put you in that position to completely severe ties with her. Whether you believe that or not- whatever. I'm not going to constantly and try to win you over or prove myself to you.

[He turns his back to Shizuo again and stares out over the ocean, fiddling with the wheels on the telescope.]

And don't say you love me.

[It isn't that he doesn't trust Izaya - not exactly. Izaya had been the only who prattled about no promises, and who had Sola jump off a building in the name of their relationship. Shizuo doesn't understand how Izaya doesn't seem to get that this is a natural conclusion. To Shizuo, it was a display of acceptance rather than lack of trust or love.]

You say I don't trust you but it's not like you trust me either. You couldn't give me a little big of time and trust that I would take your heart. You can't trust that I made this decision because I do accept you. That I wanted to trust you. You're just as bad.

[Shizuo discards his cigarette and finally pushes himself to his feet - though he doesn't have anything to fumble with, so he just stands, putting a hand in his pocket.]

You can't be mad at me over something you did, Izaya. It's not my fault you couldn't be patient and let me decide on my own. But you know what - that doesn't even matter because I want to put you first. I wouldn't have decided to never see her again unless I wanted to. Whether you believe that or not.

[That last comment hurts. A lot. Shizuo turns away, and doesn't turn back even as he talks again.]

You're a real bastard, you know that? After all of this -

[He cuts himself off, then looks back at Izaya.]

No. Fuck you. I'm not listening to you. I love you. I love you even though you don't trust me, and even though you're trying to reject it.

[Well. Izaya doesn't have much to say. He clicks around a knob on the telescope and stares at the ocean and at this weird world that had somehow made their relationship possible.

And yet he's still trying to fester in it and reject. But no. No, no he's not.]

You said to tell you whenever I was upset about something. Instead of acting on it. So I'm telling you. It's not that I don't trust you necessarily and it's not that I'm mad at you. And you can't blame me for being kind of hurt that you- hn. Never mind. You don't understand why that hurt.

[He turns around to face Shizuo and takes a few steps towards him, face perfectly blank.]

No. That's not what I meant.

[He stops just an inch or so from Shizuo and tilts his head at him.]

Don't tell me you love me when you're speaking angrily at me. I'm not trying to reject you or anything. I'm trying to understand things. I'm trying to tell you how I...feel.

[God. He did not want to say that. But.]

That I feel bad for doing what I did. This is me trying to apologize. I'm mad at myself more than I am you. Granted, I don't care that I hurt Zelda. I care that I hurt you. And I care that I did force you to make the decision that I'm your most important. But you're not the only one who is uncontrollable. Nngh.

[And his shoulders slouch, his mouth turned into a frown.]

I'm sorry. For...hn....doing that to you.

Oh.

[That...isn't what Shizuo expects to hear. He hadn't read the situation as Izaya trying to express himself - trying to talk to him. He watches Izaya approach and stop right in front of him, listening.

Shizuo adjusts his shades and looks off to the side, at the water.]

I know that I hurt you. I understand that. I know that what I messed everything up.

[Izaya isn't the only one who needs to apologize. Shizuo understands that trying to fight with him for Zelda's sake had been a choice with severe consequences. It isn't all Izaya's fault.

He looks back at Izaya. Shizuo knows that he isn't the only one who struggles with what he is. He and Izaya are similar in that regard, and that helps them connect and relate to each other.]

I'm glad. That you're telling me. And I'm sorry, too, for not seeing it sooner. I guess in a way...I needed that.

[That sucks, but it's true. What Izaya did made Shizuo realize more than he wants to admit. That's sort of screwed up, and probably why he still feels really guilty about it all. Sola had been a sacrifice for their relationship.

Shizuo closes the few inches of distance that remain between them, and puts his hands on Izaya's shoulders. Then he pulls Izaya to him, hugging him. His voice is low - quiet.]

I forgive you.

[And he does.

It's not a perfect forgiveness, because Shizuo can't just turn off the guilt and burden of what happened, but it's genuine - he's not going to hold it over Izaya's head. He isn't going to stand there and pretend that Izaya was the only one at fault. Shizuo said he loved and accepted him, and he meant it. This is just something else they had to work through, however severe of a situation it may have been.

He pulls back and puts his forehead against Izaya's, and just looks at him.]

[The fact that they haven't stormed off in opposite directions or started shouting at each other sort of encourages Izaya. That Shizuo had been honest when he had said that he could approach him about things. Izaya just had to learn how to do it in a more graceful way. He didn't know why it was troublesome. After all, he was perfectly competent with speaking. Why should this be any different?

Well that was obvious. It was because of Shizuo of course.

He looks up at Shizuo, blatant apologetic expression on his face but there's an underlying joy as his mouth turns up into a slight grin.

Their relationship might be rough and difficult- something of a monster to deal with but Izaya was pretty sure that this could be called progress.]

Really?

[No, he believes Shizuo but it doesn't stop his eyes from expanding and his face lighting up.

Shizuo forgave him and- oh-

Placing his palms against Shizuo's chest, he presses up close until he can tilt his head up just enough to secure a kiss from Shizuo. Then he pulls back.]

I just want you to know that you don't have to completely cut it off from Zelda. I know she's important to you. I trust that you can maintain both relationship with her and I without....

[Putting her before him. Yeah. It's implied but this is Izaya trying to be nice.]

Granted I might be rude to her but who am I not rude to? I want you to be happy too, Shizu-chan, and I know that you're happy when you're around her.

[Even though he selfishly believes that he could make Shizuo just as happy.

Granted he also knows that he doesn't do that very well right now. Working on it.]

Really.

[Hearing that makes Shizuo happy. Really happy. He isn't sure if he will take Izaya up on his trust and try to revive the friendship he put to rest, but knowing that if he did, Izaya could both trust him and accept that means a lot. Zelda is the closest thing to family that Shizuo has in Vatheon, and Shizuo would rather not compartmentalize the important people in his life.

Easier said than done, but this feels like a step in the right direction. And if Izaya can trust him to be friends with Zelda, Shizuo can trust him not to target her again.

Rudeness isn't a big deal. He wouldn't ask Izaya to change the way he interacts with others, and Zelda could handle herself.]

I'm happy now.

[He walks back over to the blanket.]

Come lay with me again.

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