vatheon | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Izaya and whoever wants to interact
Where: Plaza. Probably near the elevator.
When: Evening about.
Style: Action. Because.
Status: Open

[It's not that unusual to see Izaya looking happy. It's just unusual to see him lugging so much shit with him. Okay, it's not a lot, but by his standard- it's too much.

There's a telescope slung around his shoulder, a blanket under the other arm, and then a basket filled with who knows what, probably heads of dullahans or something, in his spare hand.

He's peering up at the bubble as he makes his way towards the elevator.

When. Oh no. A book that had been crammed into the top of the basket topples out. The tragedy.

But look.

Izaya keeps walking. Wow, his attention must be elsewhere pretty intense. And what is that book anyway? It looks weird. Are those instructions on human sacrifice------!!!

Actually it's just a fairy tale. But who can read kanji anyway? Aw look at the fairies-]

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[Oh hey familiar voice. You warrant a rather genuine smile from Izaya.]

You bet. I plan on watching the end of the world. Front row seat.

[He pats the telescope but then his smile cracks into something a bit wider.]

Actually. Just looking for familiar constellations. Oh. Hey.

[Pointing to the book.]

That's mine. Are you trying to steal from me, Shinra? That's awful of you. [Pouting because how could you do that to such an innocent fellow?]

I'm a little doubtful that the apocalypse is upon us. Have you been pirating Celty's sci-fi specials or something?

[Izaya's smiling at him. That's a little suspicious.]

Astronomy...that's a new one.

[Even more suspicious. He smirks in return and thumbs through the pages of the book in question.]

I might be doing the world a favor by keeping the secrets to ritual homicide out of your hands.

If only I were naive as someone who has had hundreds of years to grow knowledgeable...

[No it's not. Izaya smiles at everyone. You know. Like. How. A wolf smiles at a deer.]

Aw, what, I can't pick up a new hobby? This bubble can get pretty boring, Shinra.

[That's actually not true in the slightest but this actually was pretty legit. Izaya had some informative reasons behind this.]

Luckily for you, and Vatheon I guess, homicide might as well be impossible here. Also, are you insinuating that I would kill someone? You have no faith in me.

[Oh hey, he's right in front of Shinra now and snatching that book out of his hand. It's. Fairy tales.

Jerk.]

It's Peter Pan. [Look. He even slides off the cover to reveal the famous children's book. So what if he has some sketchy notes inside that are seriously irrelevant to Peter Pan.]

A guy has to hide his embarrassing secrets somehow, right, Shinra?

You could really learn a thing or two from someone as patient and kind as Celty. Actually, you probably couldn't. You're a bit of a lost cause as far as that's concerned.

[He can smile all he wants, but it's giving Shinra a serious case of the creeps.]

Have you considered that there are no people in space? Seems a bit dull, given your interest in humanity.

[Read: freakish obsession. And coming from a guy who's fawned over a dullahan for twenty years, that should hurt a little.]

You can't really blame me for insinuating what I do with a track record like yours, now can you?

[He lets the book slip out of his grasp and peers skeptically at the revealed title, a hand adjusting the frame of his glasses. Why the hell is Izaya reading Peter Pan? Still suspicious.]

You keep embarrassing secrets from me, your oldest and dearest friend? Oh, I'm so hurt.

[He's mocking Izaya a little bit. Just a little.]

I don't think I really want to learn anything from a spineless door mat. You're so mean, Shinra. I'm a very patient guy. You can't deny that.

[He's waited for things for a very, very long time. And for the great benefit of himself but of course.]

Have you considered that we have been transported to another dimension that has beings of obviously different species than our own?

[Deadpan. You idiot. He's not offended in the slightest]

Anyway, I can enjoy the simple beauty of stars.

[Tch.]

Oh, but I can, Shinra. I'd like to know my body count, eh? I'm pretty sure I never killed anyone in Ikebukuro.

[Selection of words. He's killed people in Vatheon. Sort of. But Shinra doesn't need to know that.]

Well when my oldest and dearest friend is so very daft and critical of me, you can hardly blame me!

[That's okay. Izaya can take it.]

I might be nicer to you if you didn't go calling the love of my life a spineless door mat.

[Okay, patience is granted, but a kind Izaya? That's a cute fantasy.

Shinra usually isn't too bothered by his disposition, but nobody badmouths Celty while he's around to hear it.]

There's probably a small likelihood of that being true, but this place seems to follow at least a few natural laws. I wouldn't push my luck.

[It's okay, it might take a moment for the bite of Shinra's boundless wit to hit home.]

I'll give you that. The stars are pretty damn nice without all the lights of Ikebukuro getting in the way.

[Details, details. Come to think of it, he might have directly killed more people than Izaya...that's a bit disconcerting.]

You can kill with more than that switchblade, you know. Well, I'm sure you more than know.

[A bright grin spreads across his face.]

That's what friends are for! Who else could you trust to be blatantly honest with you?

Well, she kind of is. I won't go into examples though. I wouldn't want to come off as rude.

[Heaven forbid. And hey, he hadn't said he was kind. He wasn't about to lie about that one. Not to Shinra anyway.]

See? You don't need to have some psychological reasoning behind wanting to look at stars. You're almost as bad as a literature teacher.

[Or is it funny? Izaya thinks it's more funny than disconcerting.]

Really? [No. Way. He had no clue. His eyes are wide and he just looks super astounded.] Oh, like how! I don't have a gun or anything. Oh wait.

[Yes he does.]

You're right. I'm so honored and lucky to have a friend as noble and honest as you are. Where would I be without you?

[Izaya actually had to admit that Shinra was probably one of the few people who weren't scared of him to the point where they beat around the bush.

It was pretty refreshing.]

What are you doing out and about? Off to try and find your next victim~?

How gracious of you.

[It's Shinra's turn to deadpan. The cracks at Celty are starting to cross the line. Wouldn't want him to bring up a certain recently disclosed relationship with a certain ex-bartender, now would you?]

With a love as strong and eternal as mine for Celty, you can't really blame me for getting a little romantic about something like the night sky. In fact, I bet Celty would love spending an evening out in the open air, just the two of us, listening to nothing but the whistle of the breeze and my whisper of sweet nothings near her sensory smoke...

[He puts a hand on his cheek and sighs. Oh Celty, she's just so beautiful...

...did he just say something about a gun?]

Where the hell did you get a firearm from?

[Weapon or not, he really isn't afraid of Izaya like a lot of people are. He's all bark and no bite when you really get to know him.

Well, that's a bit of a stretch. He doesn't bite hard.]

In a place like this, I don't really need to go looking for patients - they come crawling straight to me. I just thought I'd switch things up and get some fresh air for once.

[HE DIDN'T CRAWL FUCK YOU SHINRA, YOU CAME WHEEZING TO HIS DOOR!]

[Shut up. No. But it's just in Izaya's nature to push the line so he's probably not going to let up on Celty. Ever. Ex-bartender or not.]

Oh, don't make me sick. Your relationship with her is about the closest thing to necrophilia as you can get. And for a love so strong and eternal, you sure are a good liar to her, hn? And so selfish. I'll have to remember not to take romantic advice from you ever.

What's so romantic about the night sky anyway?

[Hell, what was romantic about anything at all? Izaya wasn't the chief on this front. It's not a serious question though because he really doesn't care.]

...Shinra, you know that that's pretty weird, right? Hey. Can she give you blowjobs like that?

[SMIRKING FOREVER.]

What firearm?

[Haha no. He's not telling you.]

If you want some fresh air, you should join me up on the island. Have you been there yet?

[Oh yes, he's going to have to formulate his exact revenge for years of verbal abuse. There must be something good to dig up from grade school...or maybe he'd wait until their next date and wreak his havoc then. So many delightful possibilities.]

Even if my love for Celty were necrophilia, a guy could do far worse. I won't deny that I lied to her, and I won't deny that I'm selfish, either. Everything I do with regards to Celty is out of love, and that's more than a lot of people can say about their significant others.

[He ignores the unpleasant knot in his stomach as Izaya breaches some unpleasant points of conversation. He knows exactly what he did to Celty by lying about her head; he hardly needs a reminder.]

And there's plenty of romance in star-gazing with a lover. You should try it with Shizuo sometime, when you're not thinking indecent thoughts about your friend's lover.

[Not. Cool. He has a few hypotheses, but nothing for sure yet...]

You know what, it's not even worth the effort. Call me when you use it - I might be able to make some quick cash from pulling the bullets out of your poor victim.

[No use trying to stop a train with one body. Especially if that body has some good work to gain off of it.]

No, I don't think I have. Is that where you're headed with your human sacrifice gear?

[...Would it really be wise to interrupt one of Shizuo and Izaya's date? Not necessarily because of Izaya but Shizuo on the other hand...It sort of sounded like a suicide attempt.]

Hmmmmmm.

[Yeah, Shinra, he's not too impressed but then again, he's never really understood your weird fetish for a headless chick who's kind of not human.]

Heh. Even if women were even remotely appealing to me, I still wouldn't want anything to do with Celty. The whole headless thing really weirds me out.

[No, he will not acknowledge the statement about Shizuo and star gazing.]

Because Vatheon has cash to make. For a doctor, you're sort of on the stupid side.

[Flipping onto a new page, Izaya smiles.]

Mmhm! And Shinra, it's a telescope.

[Duh. He turns around to start walking back to the elevator.]

C'mon.

[...He'll get his revenge eventually.]

I spew my semantics about love and morality and all I get is a 'hmmm'? Jeez, tough crowd.

[Loving the entire race or whatever the hell Izaya likes to do seems to have dulled his finer senses. Good thing Shizuo's not a huge romantic.]

I wouldn't want you to have anything to do with Celty, anyway. Hell, I'm not too thrilled that you have anything to do with Celty as it is.

[He should probably keep an ensuing blowjob comment to himself, then. Yes, he might have that gun on him, better filter that one...]

Oh, you know what I mean. It's whatever I get paid to cut people open.

[His indignant tone just barely betrays his offense at Izaya's stab to his prided intellect.]

Telescope, murder weapon. It all really depends on the intended use, wouldn't you say?

[He chuckles as he follows Izaya toward the elevator doors.]

[Maybe.]

Your semantics are boring.

[Love, in general, is a pretty boring topic to Izaya. Or is it. Either way, it's not something he's about to invest in with Shinra.]

All right, if you say so. Although tonight, I will be using the telescope for how it's supposed to be used. You and Shizu-chan are so mean. Never having any faith in me. I'm the victim here. The lonely prodigy who stands above all else. Don't you feel bad for me, Shinra?

[Don't you? His pout is so cute, isn't it? They ascend up to the island and Izaya all but hops out, staying close to Shinra. You know. Ignoring personal space.]

Besides....I've never done anything to you personally, have I? Of course not. You're my special friend.

And after I've sat through so many of your never-ending monologues...the world really is an unfair place.

[Oh well, he's missing the chance to learn from a master at the trade. Bagging a mythical creature on an operating table at the age of four's a tough feat to match.]

It might be nice to brush up on my astronomy, though I'm still not convinced tonight won't involve a body bag at some point or another.

[Izaya the poor, lonely, victimized prodigy. Shinra lets out a hearty laugh as he follows the informant out of the elevator, his elbow bumping into Izaya's side as he slides his hands into his pockets. No, of course he's not too close for comfort.]

Well, I can't say you haven't been a good friend to me. I'd take my occasional lack of faith in you as a testament to my whole-hearted appreciation of your character.

Aw, Shinra! You do realize that if I were in the proper career, universities across the world would be requesting that I come speak for their students? I can provide so much!

[Not that he's going to try and convince Shinra of that. At the insinuation, he merely laughs. He would never bother with a body bag what with how he disposes of people but he doesn't bother telling Shinra that. No need to make his sweet friend all the more uncertain of him.

Not that he had much to go on anyway.]

Well I suppose that's a fair observation and I can only appreciate your intellectual conclusion about who I am as an individual. So I guess I'm flattered.

[Oh Shinra, if he wasn't so sure of your weird perversions, he'd almost think you were trying to get in his personal space.

But thankfully, Izaya's mind isn't really like that. When they reach the top, he strolls out and immediately starts to walk to the beach.

And also- you think that's about to bother him? Try again. Izaya has no concept of personal space.]

Here looks good.

[And dropping everything. He unfolds the blanket out and glances up at Shinra.]

This is pretty awkward! We never hang out.

[He unfolds the telescope and sticks it into the wet sand, ignoring the water rushing up over his shoes.]

I don't really know what to say to you. Believe it or not~. That isn't an insult to your weird lover or you in general anyway.

You do have a distinctly interesting viewpoint of the world. Letting you feed the minds of younger generations, of course, might be pushing it a little too far.

[A league of college graduates trained as Izaya's proteges...Shinra's not sure if he finds the thought impressive or disturbing. Probably both.]

Being flattered is a perfectly reasonable response to that. It's a rare honor to receive the impartial judgement of the likes of me.

[No need to worry, Shinra's too busy contemplating how good Celty would look in a swimsuit on this beach to be bothered by Izaya's proximity.

He slows his pace a bit and peers around, taking stock of the place as he follows behind him.]

You know, it really is. It's probably been years since we've had a good, friendly conversation without any offensive banter thrown in.

[Shinra slips off his lab coat and drops it by Izaya's things, trying in vain to shake a bit of sand off the toe of his shoes. Eyeing the shallow waves lapping towards their small camp, he takes a seat on the far end of the blanket and watches Izaya's progress on the telescope with an amused grin.]

You could always tell me what the hell this island is doing here, or how you learned to operate a telescope. Or, of course, I could always regale you with tales of how adorable Celty is. I quite literally have hundreds of them.

[Thank God for that. And thank God Izaya doesn't have to hear about it. He can only stand that for so long before his gag reflexes start a kickin'.

He looks over at Shinra but doesn't say too much. It's been a good few years since he has talked to anyone without offensive banter thrown in.

It isn't really his style. Besides, offending people just comes naturally to Izaya. It's apart of his ever-present and oh-so lovable charm.]

Are you seriously asking me why an island is in existence, Shinra? My, I had no idea you were in to philosophy. That's a pretty stupid question. It just is. One day, Vatheon decided to build an elevator up to the surface and here was this island. Maybe it was here all along, maybe it wasn't. All I know is that it is now.

Although evidence suggests that it has been here for a while and that there was a population prior to our discovery of it. There's a whole abandoned town. It doesn't look that outdated though. Not really.

[He steps back from the telescope and instead moves to take his shoes and socks off, tossing both back towards the blanket. Bending over, he rolls his jeans up to his knees and proceeds to remove his jacket, setting that on the blanket next to Shinra.]

Well, Shinra, you see that little hole right there? You put your eye against it and miraculously- it will show you the stars up close. And if it's fuzzy, you twist that little knob over there and it will either make it more clear or more blurry depending which way you twist! Gosh, telescopes sure are weird.

[Deadpan. Sorry, Shinra, you asked for it. He's going back to his telescope now.]

I really don't feel like listening to you ramble about your disgusting fetish for headless women, who, by the way, doesn't even have that impressive of a body. Granted, I'm hardly a guy who can judge but we'll ignore that for the sake of polite conversation etiquette. Although, I have to admire you for your flawless acceptance of my homosexuality, Shinra. It truly makes me feel more connected to you as a sensible person. But then again, someone who bones a headless woman can hardly judge a guy who likes to have sex with other guys, hm?

[Oh yes, he'd almost forgotten what a master of charm Izaya was since his last bout of verbal abuse towards Celty.

Shinra lets out a restrained sigh as he leans back on the blanket. Here he was, thinking Izaya actually wanted to have a civil conversation with him. What a foolish mistake for him to make.]

I'm glad you think highly enough of me to believe I'd honestly ask you about the philosophical nature of an island. Then again, I'm probably stupid for wanting to talk to you at all.

There used to be people here? What happened to them?

[While he's perfectly content staying here now that's found Celty, he's still got his interests in finding a passage between Vatheon and his old world. At the very least, it might answer a lot of the questions he still has about this place.

Oh good, more sarcasm. Shinra mirrors Izaya's deadpan as he springs up to his feet, twisting the telescope away from him and taking a look for himself.]

Does this thing really only have a focus knob on it? No polar alignments or anything? Congratulations, someone ripped you off with a really shitty telescope.

[There's no way...was that...a complement front the great Izaya Orihara? Oh heaven have mercy, Shinra's feeling lightheaded from the shock.]

Unlike you and your inability to acknowledge my unique love for Celty like a half-decent human being, I'm willing to accept whatever makes my friends happy. If that happens to be screwing each other senseless, then so be it. I'm not one to judge.

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oops I tag at snail speed

Don't sweat it. You're fine

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Not here!

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Fffff. Vegeta YOU STILL OWE HIM A VIVISECTION

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