The time has come, seahorsedad said

[onlyasign]

Who: Sufferer and everyone crashing at Dualscar's hive this week
When: throughout the curse week
Where: Dualscar's hive, which he's now sharing with two freeloading holy bros
Style: whatever
Status: pretty open

Freshly equipped with new hands--new hands with thumbs!--Sufferer finds himself taking care of multiple trolls who have been turned into animals, including but not necessarily limited to multiple cats, an aquatic hoofbeast, an Alternian bee, and a mute penguin. Of course, this being the party hive that it is, others drop by during the course of the week as well.]

[OOC: mingle, start threads with each other, have fun! Just let everyone know in subject header if it's closed or open or what.]

Comments

[bethehugejerk]

At least there's that.

[You have no idea the rant he would send Darkleer if he dared give his ancestor defective prostheses after holding responsibility for his death. If Sufferer actually told him of his guilt, he wouldn't understand it at all.]

You did? I didn't know if you and him had ever spoken, but I didn't know you had promised not to. Why?

[onlyasign]

[Sufferer shrugs.]

It wasn't an explicit promise; more of a gentletroll's agreement. Equius is his... everyone who has seen them together acknowledges that. And that is not something I can take from him.

[It all made sense at the time, even if it sounds a little weird now.]

[bethehugejerk]

[His ears cock unevenly to hear it put that way.]

I guess it's not that surprising. One sweaty douche stuck to another, inseparable in awfulness. I know I'd be pissed if someone tried to apart what we have, for all I don't want to compare it to them.

[onlyasign]

I'm glad you understand.

[He's heard stories about Equius and Darkleer interacting, and saw how upset Equius was when Darkleer was rampaging against the Grand Highblood during that whole Summoner fiasco. He thinks the two bluebloods have a bond like he has with Karkat, and it's not for him to get in the way of that.]

[Especially not when Darkleer is unsure about him to begin with.]

I'd be upset if someone tried to do that too.

[Scritch scritch.]

[bethehugejerk]

[Without hardly thinking on it, Karkat pushes his head at his ancestor's hand, aiming for ear scritches.]

Hands and all that aside - how are you adjusting to being back here in general?

[The Sufferer probably wasn't gone long from his own perspective, but what he went through... that's still big, and it's why he asks.]

[onlyasign]

[Sufferer's hand stills; Karkat has asked a more difficult question than he knows, but he loves and trusts his descendent enough to answer him honestly.]

It's not easy. Everything here is the same, except for me. I'm not the same troll I was, and everyone is expecting Signless, and instead...

[He sighs.]

... instead they get Sufferer.

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat stills himself at that reaction. Petting can wait for a serious subject.]

I planned to ask about the title change. I wanted to ease into it, but so much for that.

[onlyasign]

[Sufferer shrugs. Karkat is the first person he's tried to explain this to, and it takes him a moment to put his thoughts together.]

Signless was a symbol of hope... the proverbial sign that things could get better, that we could all work together and make a better Alternia. But Signless failed.

[His voice hardens.]

He failed miserably, and died like a coward and left all his friends to lives of loneliness, slavery, and endless pain. And for what? For a vision that was a complete fucking joke, for a world that would never exist, and for a vision of the afterlife that was just a goddamned lie!

[bethehugejerk]

Hey--hey, don't you pull that on me!

[Quite suddenly Karkat is standing up, and furthermore going to prop his paws against the Sufferer's torso that he might look him in the face better.]

I know you're my ancestor, but you do not get to pull that kind of self-blaming whiny bullcrap over things that aren't your fault or even correct. What happened to them is indescribably terrible, you know that better than I ever will, but shut up. You didn't do that to them, did you? You would never in a million sweeps choose that fate for them, or a million more, or even after. You wanted something great for them and everyone, and that's why you even started that movement.

You did your absolutely fucking damnedest, and more than I for one could ever imagine if no one had told me about it. What those--casteist, classist pricks, those murderers who couldn't stand to lose that stupid hold over everyone lower on the spectrum than them, that wasn't your decision. That's what they did. They chose that. You didn't just ask to have your hands burned to cinders, did you? You're not a damn coward, you're--you're the bravest troll I've ever heard of, let alone had the fucking honor of meeting.

And yeah, so you didn't accomplish everything you hoped for, but who the hell has? Don't think you did nothing. You gave people hope, for the time you were there. And I wound up with your sign, didn't I? I got to stay alive and have at least some chance to live long enough to do what I did, so don't think you never had any lasting effect. It's small. It didn't fix Alternia. But it's still something, and if you--

[He takes on the most stubborn look he has yet.]

--If you try to keep blaming yourself, I'm going to latch myself onto your lap and meow until you stop. Don't even think I won't try it.

[onlyasign]

[Sufferer looks down, unable to meet his descendent's eyes during that rant. He hears the words, but they don't register.]

Karkat, you don't understand. So many trolls died, died because of me, and I was wrong! We were never going to defeat the Empire, we were never going to get equality! They were following a gibbering madtroll, and they all died for nothing!

[He raises one hand and rubs it across his face, trying to keep treacherous tears at bay.]

I don't even know what happened to all our followers afterwards! They were probably captured, tortured, and culled! They wiped them out, all those trolls, and it was because of me, because of what I said!

And I was wrong! Everything I said was wrong!

[bethehugejerk]

You weren't wrong!

[It hurts to hear him even say that. How can he say that about all what he did?]

What you did had more value than anything you know. People might have died for it, but are you going to insult them by saying they died for the wrong thing? They believed in you and hoped for something better, and if they died, it's because they believed too strongly to give in and think that being treated as something lesser was what they deserved. You're not a madtroll; you're just being a fucking moron about this now.

[But hey, remember that threat? Karkat does. In the manner of a cat that will very much do what it wants, he goes to climb into his ancestor's lap - and to lodge his claws into the fabric of his trousers. He's not going to let himself be dislodged just by him standing up.]

[And then, he starts meowing. Not just cute little mews, but obviously pissed off mrowls, all while glowering up at him in angry cat fashion.]

[onlyasign]

But...

[Sufferer's voice trails off and dies. He can't tell Karkat the worst thing, the thing that has haunted him ever since his return. If it weren't for this one thing, he would feel better about the whole thing, about the whole clusterfuck that was his short, wasted life.]

[But he can't, he just can't share that yet, so he resigns himself to claws in his legs and angry cat sounds from his lap.]

Karkat. Karkat... please stop making that sound.

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat's gaze doesn't waver, and for all his ancestor asks nicely, he doesn't stop the sound. If anything, he meows more loudly for it. He heard that but. Don't think he's pleased about it!]

[onlyasign]

[Yeah, Sufferer is gathering that Karkat is pretty unhappy.]

That sounds awful. Stop it.

[bethehugejerk]

[Sufferer, you should know better from what he said earlier that he won't stop that easily. Sounding awful is also half the point! So he keeps going, yowling, like the unhappiest lap cat you ever did hear.]

[onlyasign]

[Okay, seriously, that is just terrible. Sufferer reaches down and tries to pry Karkat off his lap, so he can get up and abscond.]

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat's yowls now become mixed with hissing, fangs bared, ears folding back. His claws latch in tighter, and if skin is pricked in the process, it's as warning for him to back off. He's not leaving!]

[onlyasign]

[Karkat, you are the worst house pet.]

[Sufferer winces and gives up when Karkat digs his claws in, and sinks back on the couch, looking down at his willful, furious descendent.]

All right, all right... what do I have to do to get you to stop?

[bethehugejerk]

[When the Sufferer leans back, Karkat eases the grip of his claws, but not enough to let go. He hisses a little more, warning not to try again, then pauses his yowling completely to answer.]

Admit you're being stupid about this.

[And then he's back to mrowling.]

[onlyasign]

[This is going to be a long day.]

But I'm not.

[bethehugejerk]

[MROWL YOWL MEOW. His ancestor sure is the Sufferer.]

[Of this racket.]

[onlyasign]

Karkat!

[Sufferer is starting to sound testy and angry now too, which might be preferable to the apathy and lethargy he's been stuck in lately.]

You weren't there! You don't know what you're talking about!

[bethehugejerk]

[He might not have been there, but his opinion is unwavering, says his continued meowing. He may wind up with a sore throat from overusing his voice eventually, but for now, he doesn't care. Too busy being a pain in the ass.]

[onlyasign]

[Losing temper in 3... 2...]

You're going to hurt yourself.

[bethehugejerk]

Guess how many fucks I give?

[That snappy response interrupts, because really, don't think his temper is doing any better. He isn't doing this to be 'cute' or because he thinks it's funny; this is serious to him, and he's using the means available to him to make his point. Speaking of, mrowl mrowl MROWL YOWL.]