vatheon | (no subject)

His own meeting with Vegeta had been relatively enlightening- though not as action pack as it had been with Shizuo, probably. It was the first time in a while that Izaya had been viewed as a potential meal though but that was okay with the informant. He had coincidentally decided to take a stroll through the Nostalgia Nook- which wasn't that abnormal of him. He liked to see the variety of stores that would pop up and see what other worlds had to offer. He had a rather impressive amount of Starfish Tokens that he never really used. Except to buy his long coat that one time. It wasn't quite the same as his original but it looked just as good.

He was leaving a shop when he noticed Shizuo. The natural instinct to hide at once played in and he ducked back into the shop, only to poke his head back out a moment later to watch. What was Shizuo doing here? He held onto the door that he was partially hidden behind and kept a wary eye on Shizuo. Despite their new relationship, he wasn't sure how reliable it was to believe that Shizuo wasn't going to whip a street post at him. After all, he had just the other day so...But this was Orihara Izaya we're talking about and unsurprisingly enough, curiosity got the best of him and he eventually left his hiding spot.

He approached Shizuo from behind, his arms behind his back as he leaned over to peer around Shizuo's shoulder.

"Hey Shizu-chan~," he cooed pleasantly, a bit too close and too near all too suddenly. That spontaneously appearing thing that he did too much for his own good. "What're you looking for?"

Shizuo was absorbed in looking at the merchandise in the shop, and therefore did not hear Izaya approach. Instead of flinching by his sudden proximity, he visibly tensed, and almost - almost tried to reach for something to throw. It was an embedded gut reaction, after all. He and Izaya had only been on these new terms for a couple of days, and old habits died hard.

He made himself relax, but he didn't turn to face Izaya right away. This would be the first time they'd get to interact face-to-face since that day, and Shizuo just wasn't sure how this was supposed to work. He almost wanted to turn around and chase Izaya, just because it was normal.

At least his earlier fight hadn't left him longing for something more.

"I'm just seeing what's around," he answered, more to the shop than to Izaya. And since Izaya had been watching him, it was probably obvious that his search was a little more specific than that, but it was a sensitive topic. Shizuo wasn't sure if their new...thing meant that he'd be spared being teased.

Finally, he turned around to face Izaya, and tried to smile because, well, that's what you did to people to whom you promised your heart, right?

"What are you doing?"

If Shizuo honestly thought that this new relationship meant he'd be spared being taunted- well he had a whole other thing coming to him. Izaya would continue to tease until the very day he died. It would just be a different form of teasing. One that was partially flirting and another one mocking Shizuo for the fact that he'd be detonated a horrible person if he tried to hit Izaya for it. He planned to take advantage of that sooner than later and already had a little bit what with the Valentine's Day text.

"Is that right?" he said, disbelief obvious in his voice. "You look like you're looking for something specific. You should ask me. I bet I could help you find it. If it's here of course. Do you even have Starfish Tokens?" he asked. He'd be impressed with Shizuo if the blond even knew what those were. He hopped back a good step or two when Shizuo turned around, as though expecting him to throw a punch. When he threw a smile instead, Izaya responded with a cheerful grin of his own that wasn't quite as forced as Shizuo's.

It was awkward. It was definitely awkward but at the same time...

"I was just poking around the stores. Seeing what's new. I like to keep myself acquainted with this side of town. You can learn a lot about people by checking out stores with things from their world. We have one from ours too," he said and pointed to the left and down the row of stores to one that looked like a little section from Ikebukuro slapped right onto the side of the street- neon signs and big kanji all there.

His eyes flicked back to Shizuo and he critically examined his state of being. He looked roughed up.

"Who'd you just fight?"

If someone knew how to find what he was looking for, it would be Izaya. Shizuo knew that. In fact, it entered his mind before Izaya even popped up, and he had very briefly thought about texting him, but everything about this situation was still so strange for Shizuo. He had ultimately decided against it.

He really didn't want to tell Izaya, but this was something he was going to have to get used to. Sharing. Talking. Trying to have a little trust in that good part that existed within Izaya. "A magazine," he said. Clearly not just any magazine. "I wasn't sure if they'd have any new ones. Or any at all."

Starfist Tokens were a safer topic. "I don't know," he replied. "That's what you buy this stuff with, right?" Someone had mentioned it before - maybe Zelda. "I haven't checked."

Yeah, definitely awkward, especially on Shizuo's part. But then again, having an idle chat wasn't so bad. It could even be nice.

He looked to where Izaya pointed. That's exactly where he wanted to go. "Let's go that way," he said, taking a couple of steps in that direction. Then he realized he invited Izaya to walk with him. It had felt like a natural thing to do.

That fight. That fight might have just changed everything for Shizuo. As he replied, he wore a small smile - not forced, this time - and became a little distant. "This guy. He's really strong. Not like I am. Better. I can't fight him without getting like this." Shizuo indicated his clothes, turning over his arm to try and see a scrape. It had been a lot worse last time around.

A lot of things had changed as a result of that fight. Shizuo felt as though he had finally stumbled onto some hope - could finally see a light at the end of the long tunnel that was his rage, all-consuming - which was something he had never before felt.

But Vegeta's threat. The thought of it made the smile turn into something darker, a clear determination. It was frightening, that motivating factor. And it left Shizuo feeling guilty and somewhat afraid. Because if he couldn't control his strength - if he failed, like he had time and time again -

"Hey, Izaya," Shizuo said quietly. "Do you tell people about me? If they ask?" Well, it was obvious that yes, plenty of people knew about Shizuo the monster. But he meant the real things. The important facts.

Edited 2012-02-16 04:59 (UTC)

It wasn't even something Shizuo had to tell him. It was on both of their parts. Granted, it probably was Shizuo more than Izaya. Izaya didn't have any trust issues with Shizuo- at least not the same way Shizuo had with him. He had no problem talking with Shizuo casually like this- even if the other was more obviously a bit unused to the idea as Izaya was. Whatever. Izaya looked honestly surprised when he heard what it was that Shizuo was looking for.

A magazine.

"I didn't know you knew how to read," he exclaimed childishly, but it was more playful than spiteful- like his usual jests. "What magazine are you- say. You're not looking for a dirty magazine, are you? I might be offended and become self-conscious of myself," he whined lowly, placing a hand against his chest as though Shizuo had already taken a chunk out of his heart by picking up dirty rags to skim through. "And yes. That is. I have some if you don't."

....Did Shizuo just invite him along? Izaya actually stood there for a moment, just looking after Shizuo because that was unusual. Regardless, he turned promptly and strolled after Shizuo, keeping a step or two behind him. After all, Shizuo covered more ground than he did with those legs of his.

"You look happy about it," Izaya muttered and okay, this time there was some sincere jealousy. What's with that? He fought Shizuo and Shizuo kept on hating him eternally. But he fights a new guy and has a dreamy look on his face. Izaya scoffed and glared at the back of Shizuo's head. That kind of pissed him off. Vegeta's face, of course, entered his mind because he wasn't an idiot. He could align the pieces together. "Tch. And you don't hate him? What a revelation, Shizu-chan. I'm happy for you, really."

Izaya had both of his hands in his pockets again and he had a bit of a scowl on his face. He was preoccupied with certain thoughts so his reaction to the question was a bit delayed.

"Eh?" he glanced up at Shizuo before he shrugged a shoulder and moved his eyes to the side. He didn't like to talk about this. Or Shizuo at all really. However, he figured it wouldn't hurt to be honest. "It depends," he said. "I usually mention you. I can't really help it. It's never really anything important. Before this happened, I would mostly just let people know that you were dangerous and that you hated me and tried to kill me a lot. Granted, no one ever believed that I was wholly innocent. Jerks. But in all seriousness, I don't exchange information about you. I never have. It's always been against my own list of personal policies. 'No information on Heiwajima Shizuo shall be shared.' But as far as personal things like your date of birth- no, not really. Although I told Zelda your birthday but that's kind of different," he explained.

He hopped ahead of Shizuo to open the door up to the Durarara shop and held it for Shizuo before following in after him. He really did like their store. It reminded him so much of Shinjuku and Ikebukuro that it almost hurt a little. Just a little though.

"Why?"

Shizuo scoffed at Izaya. "Of course I know how to read," he muttered, though he wasn't that irritated. That is, until he heard what followed. "What? No!" he exclaimed. "Not - no." And he could feel himself getting flustered, his face feeling a little warm. He looked away.

"I want to see if I can find anything on Kasuka," he admitted very quietly. His birthday had left him thinking about his brother and how he was doing. They didn't talk often, but birthdays were a time to talk with family. And Shizuo missed him, even if he mostly just observed Kasuka from behind a screen or in a magazine these days.

Shizuo slipped a hand in his pocket as they walked. If they weren't so close to the shop, he'd think about having a smoke. He glanced back at Izaya. This wasn't so bad. If anything, it felt kind of nice.

Izaya's reaction, though perfectly reasonable, surprised Shizuo. He wasn't always the best at reading people's emotions, but candid muttering was enough for him to get the hint it made Izaya unhappy. "Don't be like that," he said, keeping his eyes ahead. Any happiness he may have felt about the fight quickly faded. It didn't help that there was a looming threat, either.

Everything had a price. Maybe this was going to cost more than Shizuo thought.

"This might be it. I might be able to control myself. Finally." His voice was low, as though talking to himself, but the yearning was there. And so too were his thoughts - that Izaya should be happy for him. "I need that. I don't want to be like this forever."

He listened to Izaya's policy, and nodded, feeling a reserved gratefulness. It was strange to think that Izaya had that policy even as they hated each other. "I'm glad you told her. I wasn't sure why you did at first," which had been obvious. He had expected it was a trap. "She baked me a cake."

He paused, before entering the shop. "Because. I needed to know." Not that Vegeta would use Izaya to get to Zelda, but it was a small comfort. And Shizuo had hoped that the answer was no, for his own reasons.

He stepped into the shop.

Kasuka? Izaya wanted to roll his eyes. He didn't understand how Kasuka had become so popular. He was so bland in personality and acted in some of the worst movies ever. Not to mention, out of the two Heiwajima brothers, Shizuo was easily the better looking and no- Izaya wasn't biased. He felt that anyone else with eyes would agree. Kasuka wasn't ugly, no, but Izaya would rather look at a pissed off face than a face that looked like it was about to fall asleep. "Then look over there," he said and pointed to the back wall of the store- which was lined with vending machines that sold just about everything- including magazines.

"Don't hope for too much though," he added because this store gave penny favors, if anything. Pathetic nothings that didn't mean as much here as they did there. Though there had been Russia Sushi ads so the idea of Kasuka in a magazine wasn't entirely impossible.

"Guess so," Izaya said quietly to Shizuo as Shizuo declared this might be his chance. No, Izaya didn't really feel happy about it. It was difficult to constantly stand on the outside of Shizuo's happiness. He was no longer number one of his anything really. Not to mention, there was a reasonable phobia that if Shizuo managed to control himself that well....

Izaya really didn't want to think about that. At all.

"Not like I could tell you Happy Birthday," he pointed out, "At least without you accusing me of planning to ruin something or another," he added a bit more cheerfully. He didn't feel like talking about Shizuo being on a normal level of control anymore. It sort of bummed him out and he wasn't one to really talk about his feelings. They had done that enough in the past few days to satisfy him for a long time.

"Yeah, well." He had nothing more to say on the situation. Just because he had exploited himself to Shizuo about some things didn't mean that everything would go out the window. He left Shizuo's side to go shop among the racks of things for himself. He'd give Shizuo some alone time to look for his brother's face. As he maneuvered through a section of clothing, he kept an eye on Shizuo. He felt a little depressed, really. Everything felt scattered. In a way, Izaya wanted to be able to take his knife out and jab it into Shizuo. Sure his thoughts were awfully selfish as of late but at the same time, Izaya had been a hell lot more alone than Shizuo ever had in his life. Izaya didn't talk to his siblings, his parents. The people who worked for him hated him. Everyone either hated him or disliked him or something in some way had a negative relationship to him.

Granted, Izaya didn't blame them in the slightest. He also didn't feel that bothered over it. Hell, he'd never want Namie as an actual friend. She had a disgustingly weird incestuous crush on her brother. He was fine on his own. In Vatheon, he had even less to live for. He didn't have the intricate system of gangs and yakuza members and families he fucked around with. He--

Tch.

Whatever.

He turned his back to Shizuo and began to flick through some of the manga that the store had.

It wasn't that Shizuo necessarily thought Kasuka was a good actor - though of course he was biased and would kick anyone's ass if they said anything negative against him - but he was his brother. The one who sat by his bedside in the hospital. Who always helped him out. Shizuo just wanted to know he was doing well.

But even without the warning not to hope too much, Shizuo knew not to expect to find one. In fact, he hadn't really expected a store like this at all. The vending machines were kind of ironic. He might have smirked in good humor, but Izaya's mood had changed.

He didn't seem interested in hearing about the fight. The chance Shizuo had at finally being less of a monster.

Shizuo probably wouldn't have told him the details, the wager behind it all. It was too personal, and he was still very wary about Izaya. If anything went wrong between them, Izaya could and probably would use such information against him. Izaya simply did not need to know.

Yet, Shizuo had a small desire to tell him. He couldn't tell Zelda, and that left him with no one. And if there were someone who could actually help him learn more control before the next time he fought Vegeta, it was Izaya.

But Shizuo couldn't - and didn't - ask for that. He'd figure it out on his own.

Izaya ventured off to do his own thing. Shizuo walked over to the vending machines and started to look at the magazines. His attention kept drifting, though.

He didn't know what Izaya expected, or what he was supposed to do. Hadn't Izaya told him that this was better than going back to the way things were? What did he want, then?

Shizuo could piece together that Izaya was upset, but not exactly why. He had a vague idea, that he was somehow doing this whole heart-thing - Shizuo hadn't yet adopted the term 'relationship' - wrong somehow, but he didn't know how to make it right. It was a difficult transition.

He gave up on looking. He wasn't in the mood anymore. He'd come back some other time. Instead, he walked over to Izaya.

"I'm going to go," he said. Then, after a pause, very tentatively he added, "You can come. Or not. I don't care."

That came out wrong.

"I mean, you should do whatever you want."

Damn it.