vatheon | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Shizuo and YOU
When: February 15, midday or so.
Where: Nostalgia Nook
Style: Either
Status: Open!

After his fight and subsequent meal with Vegeta, Shizuo wasn't ready to head home. Despite his somewhat tattered, dirty clothing and a few scrapes - clearly indicative of the fight - Shizuo was feeling better. Lighter. He had managed to get out some of his restless energy, and he had also shown himself that he could think during a fight. He could have some control, even if it wasn't as much as he wanted. If he could do that much, then maybe he could get even better.

Instead of heading back to his place, Shizuo decided to go to Nostalgia Nook. He had heard plenty about it and had paid a relatively short visit once before, but this time, he wanted to get a good look at everything. He knew Zelda bought her milk from there, and he had heard of other people finding things from their homes also. He had something in particular in mind, though he doubted he'd find it. Still, it couldn't hurt to look, which is exactly what he started to do, glancing through the windows of the small shops.

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His own meeting with Vegeta had been relatively enlightening- though not as action pack as it had been with Shizuo, probably. It was the first time in a while that Izaya had been viewed as a potential meal though but that was okay with the informant. He had coincidentally decided to take a stroll through the Nostalgia Nook- which wasn't that abnormal of him. He liked to see the variety of stores that would pop up and see what other worlds had to offer. He had a rather impressive amount of Starfish Tokens that he never really used. Except to buy his long coat that one time. It wasn't quite the same as his original but it looked just as good.

He was leaving a shop when he noticed Shizuo. The natural instinct to hide at once played in and he ducked back into the shop, only to poke his head back out a moment later to watch. What was Shizuo doing here? He held onto the door that he was partially hidden behind and kept a wary eye on Shizuo. Despite their new relationship, he wasn't sure how reliable it was to believe that Shizuo wasn't going to whip a street post at him. After all, he had just the other day so...But this was Orihara Izaya we're talking about and unsurprisingly enough, curiosity got the best of him and he eventually left his hiding spot.

He approached Shizuo from behind, his arms behind his back as he leaned over to peer around Shizuo's shoulder.

"Hey Shizu-chan~," he cooed pleasantly, a bit too close and too near all too suddenly. That spontaneously appearing thing that he did too much for his own good. "What're you looking for?"

Shizuo was absorbed in looking at the merchandise in the shop, and therefore did not hear Izaya approach. Instead of flinching by his sudden proximity, he visibly tensed, and almost - almost tried to reach for something to throw. It was an embedded gut reaction, after all. He and Izaya had only been on these new terms for a couple of days, and old habits died hard.

He made himself relax, but he didn't turn to face Izaya right away. This would be the first time they'd get to interact face-to-face since that day, and Shizuo just wasn't sure how this was supposed to work. He almost wanted to turn around and chase Izaya, just because it was normal.

At least his earlier fight hadn't left him longing for something more.

"I'm just seeing what's around," he answered, more to the shop than to Izaya. And since Izaya had been watching him, it was probably obvious that his search was a little more specific than that, but it was a sensitive topic. Shizuo wasn't sure if their new...thing meant that he'd be spared being teased.

Finally, he turned around to face Izaya, and tried to smile because, well, that's what you did to people to whom you promised your heart, right?

"What are you doing?"

If Shizuo honestly thought that this new relationship meant he'd be spared being taunted- well he had a whole other thing coming to him. Izaya would continue to tease until the very day he died. It would just be a different form of teasing. One that was partially flirting and another one mocking Shizuo for the fact that he'd be detonated a horrible person if he tried to hit Izaya for it. He planned to take advantage of that sooner than later and already had a little bit what with the Valentine's Day text.

"Is that right?" he said, disbelief obvious in his voice. "You look like you're looking for something specific. You should ask me. I bet I could help you find it. If it's here of course. Do you even have Starfish Tokens?" he asked. He'd be impressed with Shizuo if the blond even knew what those were. He hopped back a good step or two when Shizuo turned around, as though expecting him to throw a punch. When he threw a smile instead, Izaya responded with a cheerful grin of his own that wasn't quite as forced as Shizuo's.

It was awkward. It was definitely awkward but at the same time...

"I was just poking around the stores. Seeing what's new. I like to keep myself acquainted with this side of town. You can learn a lot about people by checking out stores with things from their world. We have one from ours too," he said and pointed to the left and down the row of stores to one that looked like a little section from Ikebukuro slapped right onto the side of the street- neon signs and big kanji all there.

His eyes flicked back to Shizuo and he critically examined his state of being. He looked roughed up.

"Who'd you just fight?"

If someone knew how to find what he was looking for, it would be Izaya. Shizuo knew that. In fact, it entered his mind before Izaya even popped up, and he had very briefly thought about texting him, but everything about this situation was still so strange for Shizuo. He had ultimately decided against it.

He really didn't want to tell Izaya, but this was something he was going to have to get used to. Sharing. Talking. Trying to have a little trust in that good part that existed within Izaya. "A magazine," he said. Clearly not just any magazine. "I wasn't sure if they'd have any new ones. Or any at all."

Starfist Tokens were a safer topic. "I don't know," he replied. "That's what you buy this stuff with, right?" Someone had mentioned it before - maybe Zelda. "I haven't checked."

Yeah, definitely awkward, especially on Shizuo's part. But then again, having an idle chat wasn't so bad. It could even be nice.

He looked to where Izaya pointed. That's exactly where he wanted to go. "Let's go that way," he said, taking a couple of steps in that direction. Then he realized he invited Izaya to walk with him. It had felt like a natural thing to do.

That fight. That fight might have just changed everything for Shizuo. As he replied, he wore a small smile - not forced, this time - and became a little distant. "This guy. He's really strong. Not like I am. Better. I can't fight him without getting like this." Shizuo indicated his clothes, turning over his arm to try and see a scrape. It had been a lot worse last time around.

A lot of things had changed as a result of that fight. Shizuo felt as though he had finally stumbled onto some hope - could finally see a light at the end of the long tunnel that was his rage, all-consuming - which was something he had never before felt.

But Vegeta's threat. The thought of it made the smile turn into something darker, a clear determination. It was frightening, that motivating factor. And it left Shizuo feeling guilty and somewhat afraid. Because if he couldn't control his strength - if he failed, like he had time and time again -

"Hey, Izaya," Shizuo said quietly. "Do you tell people about me? If they ask?" Well, it was obvious that yes, plenty of people knew about Shizuo the monster. But he meant the real things. The important facts.

Edited 2012-02-16 04:59 (UTC)

It wasn't even something Shizuo had to tell him. It was on both of their parts. Granted, it probably was Shizuo more than Izaya. Izaya didn't have any trust issues with Shizuo- at least not the same way Shizuo had with him. He had no problem talking with Shizuo casually like this- even if the other was more obviously a bit unused to the idea as Izaya was. Whatever. Izaya looked honestly surprised when he heard what it was that Shizuo was looking for.

A magazine.

"I didn't know you knew how to read," he exclaimed childishly, but it was more playful than spiteful- like his usual jests. "What magazine are you- say. You're not looking for a dirty magazine, are you? I might be offended and become self-conscious of myself," he whined lowly, placing a hand against his chest as though Shizuo had already taken a chunk out of his heart by picking up dirty rags to skim through. "And yes. That is. I have some if you don't."

....Did Shizuo just invite him along? Izaya actually stood there for a moment, just looking after Shizuo because that was unusual. Regardless, he turned promptly and strolled after Shizuo, keeping a step or two behind him. After all, Shizuo covered more ground than he did with those legs of his.

"You look happy about it," Izaya muttered and okay, this time there was some sincere jealousy. What's with that? He fought Shizuo and Shizuo kept on hating him eternally. But he fights a new guy and has a dreamy look on his face. Izaya scoffed and glared at the back of Shizuo's head. That kind of pissed him off. Vegeta's face, of course, entered his mind because he wasn't an idiot. He could align the pieces together. "Tch. And you don't hate him? What a revelation, Shizu-chan. I'm happy for you, really."

Izaya had both of his hands in his pockets again and he had a bit of a scowl on his face. He was preoccupied with certain thoughts so his reaction to the question was a bit delayed.

"Eh?" he glanced up at Shizuo before he shrugged a shoulder and moved his eyes to the side. He didn't like to talk about this. Or Shizuo at all really. However, he figured it wouldn't hurt to be honest. "It depends," he said. "I usually mention you. I can't really help it. It's never really anything important. Before this happened, I would mostly just let people know that you were dangerous and that you hated me and tried to kill me a lot. Granted, no one ever believed that I was wholly innocent. Jerks. But in all seriousness, I don't exchange information about you. I never have. It's always been against my own list of personal policies. 'No information on Heiwajima Shizuo shall be shared.' But as far as personal things like your date of birth- no, not really. Although I told Zelda your birthday but that's kind of different," he explained.

He hopped ahead of Shizuo to open the door up to the Durarara shop and held it for Shizuo before following in after him. He really did like their store. It reminded him so much of Shinjuku and Ikebukuro that it almost hurt a little. Just a little though.

"Why?"

Shizuo scoffed at Izaya. "Of course I know how to read," he muttered, though he wasn't that irritated. That is, until he heard what followed. "What? No!" he exclaimed. "Not - no." And he could feel himself getting flustered, his face feeling a little warm. He looked away.

"I want to see if I can find anything on Kasuka," he admitted very quietly. His birthday had left him thinking about his brother and how he was doing. They didn't talk often, but birthdays were a time to talk with family. And Shizuo missed him, even if he mostly just observed Kasuka from behind a screen or in a magazine these days.

Shizuo slipped a hand in his pocket as they walked. If they weren't so close to the shop, he'd think about having a smoke. He glanced back at Izaya. This wasn't so bad. If anything, it felt kind of nice.

Izaya's reaction, though perfectly reasonable, surprised Shizuo. He wasn't always the best at reading people's emotions, but candid muttering was enough for him to get the hint it made Izaya unhappy. "Don't be like that," he said, keeping his eyes ahead. Any happiness he may have felt about the fight quickly faded. It didn't help that there was a looming threat, either.

Everything had a price. Maybe this was going to cost more than Shizuo thought.

"This might be it. I might be able to control myself. Finally." His voice was low, as though talking to himself, but the yearning was there. And so too were his thoughts - that Izaya should be happy for him. "I need that. I don't want to be like this forever."

He listened to Izaya's policy, and nodded, feeling a reserved gratefulness. It was strange to think that Izaya had that policy even as they hated each other. "I'm glad you told her. I wasn't sure why you did at first," which had been obvious. He had expected it was a trap. "She baked me a cake."

He paused, before entering the shop. "Because. I needed to know." Not that Vegeta would use Izaya to get to Zelda, but it was a small comfort. And Shizuo had hoped that the answer was no, for his own reasons.

He stepped into the shop.

Kasuka? Izaya wanted to roll his eyes. He didn't understand how Kasuka had become so popular. He was so bland in personality and acted in some of the worst movies ever. Not to mention, out of the two Heiwajima brothers, Shizuo was easily the better looking and no- Izaya wasn't biased. He felt that anyone else with eyes would agree. Kasuka wasn't ugly, no, but Izaya would rather look at a pissed off face than a face that looked like it was about to fall asleep. "Then look over there," he said and pointed to the back wall of the store- which was lined with vending machines that sold just about everything- including magazines.

"Don't hope for too much though," he added because this store gave penny favors, if anything. Pathetic nothings that didn't mean as much here as they did there. Though there had been Russia Sushi ads so the idea of Kasuka in a magazine wasn't entirely impossible.

"Guess so," Izaya said quietly to Shizuo as Shizuo declared this might be his chance. No, Izaya didn't really feel happy about it. It was difficult to constantly stand on the outside of Shizuo's happiness. He was no longer number one of his anything really. Not to mention, there was a reasonable phobia that if Shizuo managed to control himself that well....

Izaya really didn't want to think about that. At all.

"Not like I could tell you Happy Birthday," he pointed out, "At least without you accusing me of planning to ruin something or another," he added a bit more cheerfully. He didn't feel like talking about Shizuo being on a normal level of control anymore. It sort of bummed him out and he wasn't one to really talk about his feelings. They had done that enough in the past few days to satisfy him for a long time.

"Yeah, well." He had nothing more to say on the situation. Just because he had exploited himself to Shizuo about some things didn't mean that everything would go out the window. He left Shizuo's side to go shop among the racks of things for himself. He'd give Shizuo some alone time to look for his brother's face. As he maneuvered through a section of clothing, he kept an eye on Shizuo. He felt a little depressed, really. Everything felt scattered. In a way, Izaya wanted to be able to take his knife out and jab it into Shizuo. Sure his thoughts were awfully selfish as of late but at the same time, Izaya had been a hell lot more alone than Shizuo ever had in his life. Izaya didn't talk to his siblings, his parents. The people who worked for him hated him. Everyone either hated him or disliked him or something in some way had a negative relationship to him.

Granted, Izaya didn't blame them in the slightest. He also didn't feel that bothered over it. Hell, he'd never want Namie as an actual friend. She had a disgustingly weird incestuous crush on her brother. He was fine on his own. In Vatheon, he had even less to live for. He didn't have the intricate system of gangs and yakuza members and families he fucked around with. He--

Tch.

Whatever.

He turned his back to Shizuo and began to flick through some of the manga that the store had.

It wasn't that Shizuo necessarily thought Kasuka was a good actor - though of course he was biased and would kick anyone's ass if they said anything negative against him - but he was his brother. The one who sat by his bedside in the hospital. Who always helped him out. Shizuo just wanted to know he was doing well.

But even without the warning not to hope too much, Shizuo knew not to expect to find one. In fact, he hadn't really expected a store like this at all. The vending machines were kind of ironic. He might have smirked in good humor, but Izaya's mood had changed.

He didn't seem interested in hearing about the fight. The chance Shizuo had at finally being less of a monster.

Shizuo probably wouldn't have told him the details, the wager behind it all. It was too personal, and he was still very wary about Izaya. If anything went wrong between them, Izaya could and probably would use such information against him. Izaya simply did not need to know.

Yet, Shizuo had a small desire to tell him. He couldn't tell Zelda, and that left him with no one. And if there were someone who could actually help him learn more control before the next time he fought Vegeta, it was Izaya.

But Shizuo couldn't - and didn't - ask for that. He'd figure it out on his own.

Izaya ventured off to do his own thing. Shizuo walked over to the vending machines and started to look at the magazines. His attention kept drifting, though.

He didn't know what Izaya expected, or what he was supposed to do. Hadn't Izaya told him that this was better than going back to the way things were? What did he want, then?

Shizuo could piece together that Izaya was upset, but not exactly why. He had a vague idea, that he was somehow doing this whole heart-thing - Shizuo hadn't yet adopted the term 'relationship' - wrong somehow, but he didn't know how to make it right. It was a difficult transition.

He gave up on looking. He wasn't in the mood anymore. He'd come back some other time. Instead, he walked over to Izaya.

"I'm going to go," he said. Then, after a pause, very tentatively he added, "You can come. Or not. I don't care."

That came out wrong.

"I mean, you should do whatever you want."

Damn it.

Izaya had opened up a manga full-paged and was staring intently at it when Shizuo approached. He had just begun to wonder why Erika and Walker liked this stuff so much when that familiar voice sounded behind him and Izaya glanced up and over his shoulder. He stared blankly at Shizuo. And then even blanker. And then ultimately the blankest. Shizuo really was horrible at this whole thing. He snapped the manga shut and sighed dramatically.

"You are a horrible boyfriend."

He put the manga back onto the shelf and turned entirely to Shizuo. He only then realized that he was going to have to literally walk each step with Shizuo and hold his hand the entire time. Shizuo didn't have the romantic motivation to really try that hard himself and Izaya had a feeling that that motivation wasn't about to come anytime soon. He'd have to lead. Which made sense considering that he was the one with the feelings, not Shizuo. Shizuo was just tagging along for the ride for whatever God known reason.

"I do do whatever I want, as you know, and I know you probably don't really care whether or not I go with you," he said and it wasn't an insult or anything, it was just the truth and Izaya knew it. He held up his finger to Shizuo and continued to talk: "You can take me on a date. But since I have a firm belief that you are romantically inept and have no real chances of charming me since I am- quite literally- impossible to charm for even a regular, charming guy let alone someone like you....I guess I will take you on a date. And maybe by the end of it, you'll be able to openly think to yourself about how nice my ass looks or maybe that I have nice hands. Something cute and generically romantic like that," he drawled, flicking his wrist before he reached down and grabbed Shizuo's hand.

"And maybe I can even implant a caterpillar in your stomach. That maybe will one day morph into a cocoon. That will maybe, maybe one day crack open into a big, wonderful butterfly that will make your stomach convulse pleasantly when you think about me," he said, flicking his hand here and there as he metaphorically explained trying to get Shizuo to love him back. Yes. That.

He lead Shizuo out of the store, holding onto his hand by his fingers as he all but dragged him outside. He looked up and down the street before he looked at the ex-bodyguard.

"I already ate. Have you?"

That hurt. Shizuo didn't bother to try and disguise it.

He did care. He wouldn't have agreed to this if he hadn't. He wouldn't have kissed Izaya back if he felt differently. There were feelings there, they were just vague and confusing. He promised Izaya that he would try to keep up, and he really intended to try. When he said he didn't care about whether or not Izaya accompanied him, he was trying to be nice. Izaya seemed off in mood and Shizuo wanted to give him space if he wanted space. He didn't want to drag Izaya around if he didn't want to be dragged.

Only after that thought process did it sink in that Izaya had called him a boyfriend.

And after that speech, Shizuo was feeling a little down himself.

"You say a lot of mean things too, you know." Izaya had called him romantically inadept and told him he wouldn't be able to charm him. Great. That made him feel wonderful. And what was that nonsense about his body? Shizuo didn't find it unattractive, he just didn't...objectify.

"And you say you don't understand me, but I don't understand you. I don't get why you want to do...this. If you think I'm terrible at it." He didn't even bother commenting on the butterfly analogy. He wasn't crazy about metaphors, despite his story a couple of nights before.

"No," he replied to the question about food, allowing himself to be dragged out.

"Do I? Really?" Izaya asked with feign surprise. Perhaps it was a natural guard on his own behalf to treat Shizuo poorly. It was a method he'd practiced enthusiastically during high school. It probably wasn't healthy for their kind-of-sort-of relationship thing but at the same time, he didn't know any better. Izaya really was no better than Shizuo, after all. He was just as lost as what to do or how to treat Shizuo. The king of relationships and human emotion was pretty foreign to the concepts when they directly involved him. Or so it appeared.

Izaya stared at Shizuo for a moment, tongue in his mouth and he tried to rationalize his little snap. It was mostly playful but then Izaya realized that maybe it wasn't so playful. Maybe it was mean. It was difficult for him to tell the difference between the two at times. They usually blurred the lines for him anyway.

"Okay. Okay," he said and sighed heavily. He turned to face Shizuo and squinted his eyes at him.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't going to keep apologizing but maybe he had been a little harsh. "Um..."

He scratched the side of his head and stared at Shizuo, eyes wide yet again as he looked from Shizuo's eyes to his mouth and then back up. This was going to be a lot harder than Izaya had anticipated.

"It's sort of hard to feel the way that I do towards you and have you be willing to ...do whatever with me. But have it be spontaneous as it was. It's difficult to know that you probably don't feel the way I do about you. I'm not expecting you too. It's a little confusing for me. I've spent a good seven years of my life looking after you as an impossibility. Now you've decided to present yourself to me in a way that I can hold and it's overwhelming. I don't know why you even care to do it. I realize that you do. I just don't know why. Maybe it's to keep a promise to yourself. But...hn....See, Shizu-chan, if you became normal and in control of yourself..." He stopped.

He really didn't feel like getting into that. But Izaya figured it might as well come out at the same time. So. He let go of Shizuo's hand and shrugged, turning his back to Shizuo so that he could rattle this off like it was no big deal.

"You probably wouldn't want me. You'd have the capacity to find someone good and normal. Maybe a nice girl or something. Someone that doesn't piss you off or confuse you. It's kind of intimidating, that thought. And it would be even if we still hated each other and were fighting. It'd mean that you wouldn't want to fight me anymore. I get it- you know. I'm not stupid. It's going to take time for you to trust me and like me on a serious level. It's going to take time for me to trust you too. I have my insecurities and other disturbingly human traits that I don't like to talk about. Although I really only have them when it comes to you. I don't care about anyone else," he said and it was the honest truth.

All the while, of course, he was trying to balance on the edge of the side walk as he walked along slowly.

"Our relationship will never be normal. We will grow to have normal aspects but we will never be normal. Maybe you are terrible at this. But hey, I think that if you have the conviction strong enough to prove to the world that you're not a monster, I'm sure you can find it somewhere in yourself to prove to me that you're not terrible that this," he challenged and turned about to look back at Shizuo, his expression blank. It wasn't a wall. It merely was.

Serph, too, was at the Nostalgia Nook, though he didn't need to search for what he wanted; he already knew where the Vendor was. He didn't have all that many Starfish Tokens though, just the amount people started with. He really needed to get a job. But when he caught side of a certain blonde, he paused. Though he was dressed in different clothing and lacked an axe, Serph could recognise the man as the one he'd attacked during the curse week. ...He should apologize.

So he leisurely approached, making sure he was in the man's line of sight so he wasn't startled by his presence. He stopped when he was within casual speaking distance. "Sorry. For attacking you last week."

Perhaps the stranger would recognise the mark that was on his face; it was the same as the one on the deer-fish creature he'd fought during the curse week.

[There's a familiar-looking man standing outside one of the shops of the Nostalgia Nook, staring at the display of books and such with an interested eye. He had been coming here every so often to buy books from different worlds to read up on them, curious about how people wrote about things in different places.]

[He notices Shizuo out of the corner of his eye, though, and glances at him, smiling slightly.]

Exploring, Shizuo?

At first, upon seeing Serph in the peripheral of his vision, Shizuo did not think he was being approached. He figured he'd be passed by, up until Serph paused and spoke. Then Shizuo turned his attention on him, and hesitated once he saw that mark on his face.

A lot happened last week - not all of it was bad, necessarily, but the majority of the consequences had been difficult at best. More than any event that had transpired, the fight over the safety of those native children was one Shizuo had tried to forget. It helped that it was mostly a blur - whether due to his own refusal to think of it or the lifted curse - but Shizuo still avoided allowing his thoughts to wander in that direction. He hated remembering seeing the children hurt - and even though the guy who hurt them was a bastard that deserved death, Shizuo had not enjoyed playing a part in that process. At all.

Putting his hands in his pockets, Shizuo rolled his shoulder in a small shrug. He hadn't blamed Serph - not even as he had been attacked. The curse had turned him into a beast of some sort, and he had just been following the whims of his master. Shizuo understood that even during the fight, because as a huntsman, Shizuo had been sensitive to the connection between humans and animals. And...mythical creatures. Whatever he had been.

"It's fine. I know that you were just doing what you were told." He shook his head. "It was a rough curse. So. Just forget it happened." That's what Shizuo wanted to do.

During moments like these, Shizuo remembered why he had spent the duration of the time he had known Izaya hating him. The sarcasm with how he received Shizuo's comment, coupled with the words that, meant in jest or not, weren't exactly kind, made it difficult to hold on to the kindness in Izaya. Shizuo was vulnerable, too, and beginning to have second thoughts. They were both stupid for thinking a relationship based in such hate and violence could become something tender and understanding. Shizuo wanted to turn and walk away. This hadn't been the outing he had in mind.

Then Izaya apologized. Unlike the last time, it helped. A lot. Shizuo realized that was what he wanted - needed - to hear.

He allowed Izaya the time to talk, paying attention quietly, taking it all in.

"It's more than just keeping a promise," he said once Izaya was finished. "I want to do this. I want to be better at it. You make me feel -" But that was uncharted territory, and Shizuo switched directions. "I was happy, chasing you. Getting angry at you. Losing to you, even. It was important to me, even though I hated you for always making me feel like a monster." He remembered the talk that he and Zelda had at the bakery - the way Zelda had pointed out that Shizuo seemed happy during his fight with Izaya. It took him a while to accept that, but it was true. Izaya had always filled a need within him.

"But it isn't about fighting. It doesn't have to be. I don't think so. It's - that I want to do this. To be near you. To try and make sense of everything." Shizuo didn't feel like he was getting his thoughts across clearly, but talking wasn't his strong suit. He didn't really have the kind of metaphors and eloquence in speech that could get his point across more efficiently.

"If I can do this...if I can get control of myself, Izaya, I can be better for everyone. Not just me. But my family. My...friends. And even you." Shizuo looked at the ground, figuring whatever in his expression was not something he'd want Izaya to see. Izaya had been holding this...love? Desire? Whatever it was - he'd been holding it for years, and it had been weighing him down. During the curse, Shizuo saw him break down because of it. And yet, Shizuo had always been blinded by his rage. He couldn't even see Izaya once everything was done. Zelda saw for him, gave him that insight, and still Shizuo second-guessed it. Control meant changing things, including the way he lived his life. Izaya may have wanted Shizuo as his personal monster, but Shizuo did not want to turn around and hurt him. Eat him, as the story had gone. Having control meant that he might learn to be a better...boyfriend in the end.

"I don't need you to believe me yet. Just like you know I can't just trust you. It can't be like nothing bad has ever happened between this. But I want this. I want to be better at it." He wanted to rise to that challenge, to show Izaya that he could be a little warmer, maybe even a little charming.

"I've never had this. Not once." Even though Zelda would comfort him with a light touch or by taking his hand, this was different. This was someone who wanted to be truly close to him - who had kissed him, and who wanted to be kissed back by him. "So I'm kind of stupid with this." He shrugged somewhat sheepishly. He knew. He wanted Izaya to know he knew, and to give him the space to eventually expand into something a little more understanding, trustful, and romantic.

[At the sound of the familiarity of that voice, Shizuo turns away from the window in which he's glancing and faces Jacob.]

Yeah. Just looking around.

[Jacob's a weird guy, in Shizuo's opinion, and he's not exactly sure how he feels about him. Shizuo hates philosophical discourse that makes him feel as though he's slow, and during their last conversation, Jacob had frustrated him with. But, at the same time, talking with him had somehow made Shizuo feel a little better about himself. After all, Jacob seemed insightful, and someone insightful telling Shizuo he wasn't a monster was a nice change.

Shizuo leans against the building and looks at Jacob curiously.]

Haven't seen you in a while.

Shizuo had listened to him so Izaya figured he may as well repay the favor. That and he could all but see the mechanics in his mind churning as he struggled to keep up with Izaya. Like Izaya had said, he wasn't going to slow down for Shizuo- not anytime soon. But that didn't mean he couldn't throw him a rope every now and then to try and help Shizuo at least stay on the right path. Izaya put his hands deep into his pockets and watched Shizuo. He really watched him, looking for that sincerity that a part of him desired like a child wants their parents' attention. Except it was a lot more important than that.

He wasn't going to ask Shizuo what he made him feel. That really was uncharted territory- something of which he knew neither of them were ready for. Even if he had made his feelings clear, it's also not like he directly stated anything.

"Even me, huh?" Izaya echoed with a faint grin with that. The thought was a little bit amusing but maybe Shizuo was being honest. Izaya still had a doubt or two, as to be expected, but it was kind of nice to hear Shizuo say that. He considered Shizuo for another silent, long moment before he finally just smiled widely and bowed forward.

"Yeah, I know you haven't. And you know I haven't. We're both such virgins," he said and then looked back up at Shizuo, still bent over, but only for a moment before he straightened up and took those three few steps to be directly in front of Shizuo and he boldly reached his arms up and around Shizuo's neck. It was still a hesitant move, but yet entirely confident in what he wanted to do.

"All right. I don't really want to push you away further than I already have. You're not the only one that needs to work on charming the other. I mean, I gotta try too. And I guess insulting you isn't the best way of going about that...But don't think that means I won't stop insulting you entirely. I just don't know if I can find that in myself to do that. I mean, you do kind of set yourself up for it," he said but it wasn't cruel. It was honestly more of a joke than anything and maybe it was too soon for that but Izaya didn't know how to go about these things.

He pulled himself closer until their bodies were actually aligned. It felt unusual to be so close to Shizuo- to actually feel the tension of his power just an inch between clothes.

"You're kind of stupid with everything," he said, proving his point right of not being able to resist taunting Shizuo, but right after, he leaned up and pressed his mouth to the side of Shizuo's mouth in a damp, little kiss. "But I like that, y'know. I talk pretty confident too but I'm a little slow with this whole thing too. Ahh- but uh- I said I wanted to go on a date. So let's go on a date, hn?" he offered and released Shizuo, taking a few steps back, arms behind his back as he nodded to Shizuo before he turned away entirely and started to walk along.

"I'm pretty sure that they have a theme park here. How's that sound?"

With Izaya close again, Shizuo couldn't help but tense - but this time, it was a little different. The conversation they were having addressed some sensitive issues and vulnerabilities. Following up with physical contact was nice. Comforting. Shizuo put an arm around Izaya in turn - a little stiffly, but it was his way of showing that yes, he wanted this too. Maybe even needed it.

It was funny, but Shizuo never put that much thought into what Izaya would be like in a relationship with anyone. For some reason, he hadn't considered that Izaya might want so much contact. Shizuo wasn't sure what to make of it, and he himself was unaccustomed to displays of affection.

"You don't have to stop," Shizuo replied. It wouldn't be Izaya if the little quips and insults stopped entirely, but Shizuo was sensitive about some things. And Izaya knew all the right buttons. That's what made some insults more painful than others. Shizuo knew that Izaya knew how to hurt him - and not just with his flick blade. "And I know I do. I just want you to know that I am trying."

As Izaya moved even closer, Shizuo tightened his hold, just a little, still extremely careful. It was almost difficult to believe that he spent so many years trying to catch Izaya - and now, Izaya was right there, arms around his neck. Confessing that he was a little slow, too. Giving him a small kiss.

Shizuo felt better. He really did. Things would probably be strained and difficult for a while, but maybe they could get through it. Maybe they could learn to be closer, and not just in proximity.

"Okay. Let's go." Shizuo replied with a little nod. He started trailing after Izaya, fumbling for a cigarette, but decided against it. Instead he caught up to Izaya and shyly, but with conviction, took Izaya's hand in his.

Nostalgia Nook was on the way to or from wherever it was she was going that day. Clearly the chocobos had something to do with it, because she was in her cowgirl get up, complete with cowgirl hat. As often happened with Selphie, she wasn't looking at anything in particular. In fact, sometimes it seemed she wasn't looking at anything at all.

On this occasion, she was looking at something that she had already walked past, but her head was turned, her gaze lingering in that direction. Which meant that she didn't see Shizuo when she was headed straight for him.

Being that Shizuo was looking in the window of the shop, he didn't see Selphie, either. The collision was inevitable - and surprising. Once it happened, Shizuo turned to her, and for a very fleeting moment seemed quite irritated. However, upon seeing Selphie, his expression softened.

"Are you alright?" he asked, because he knew that bumping into him could hurt. He didn't tend to budge very easily.

Where there was a Selphie, there'd likely be some kind of collision. Still, they did always catch her by surprise. While Shizuo might have stood his ground, Selphie took the hit hard enough to falter, though not enough to actually fall. The cowboy hat, however, did fall and roll around their feet.

"Oops!~ I'm sorry! And I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He hardly felt it - that wasn't any concern. Shizuo bent to pick up her hat and held it out to her. "Here."

Then, after taking a look at her to make sure she really was okay, he said, "You should be careful. You could have gotten hurt." And he didn't mean just by bumping into him; his temper had been ready to go off, and that wouldn't have been safe for her at all.

Selphie took the hat gratefully and placed it back on her head at a slight angle - that's the way she figure it was most proper to wear it, after all. She stood straighter and looked the stranger over - very cute, but that was besides the point, he was definitely okay.

"Tee hee! I'm a bit of a clutz, but nothing too terrible has happened yet!" She beamed at him, because she knew how close she had been to a lot of trouble before. Bumping into a man in the middle of Vatheon - it didn't seem to hold any immediate danger at least.

Forget it happened? Serph could never do that. He could never purposefully forget the things he's done because he felt he should always be responsible for his actions. A Tribe leader like him can't shirk things like that, especially given all the killing he's done in the past. Even if he hadn't had entire control over himself during the curse, he knew it's no excuse; the curse was a 'gentle' reminder of what could happen if he lost the tenuous balance of human and demon.

However, he would never wallow in the past; he used the past as motivation to keep moving forward to better days. But... he won't judge if the other man would rather forget; he knew not everyone would be fine with the events that had transpired that day.

So he nodded. Serph won't mention the curse any further. Instead, he changed the subject to a more favourable one.

"Then I hope we can still be friends." He meant it; he'd known too much fighting. Seprh hoped their less than friendly first meeting hadn't put a dampener on their future. "Your name?"

Shizuo raised his eyebrows. This girl was certainly cheerful. But, better that than hurt and upset over it. He nodded. "That's good. Not everyone is nice here, though, so you never know." He shrugged.

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