vatheon | (no subject)

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Who: Shizuo and YOU
Where: The island
When: Friday evening
Style: Whichever
Status: OPEN FOR ALL THE CR

[Shizuo isn't as bothered by this curse as some of the people he's come across thus far. He tends not to be a pretty deep-thinker, and since he's a pretty honest individual, there isn't much for him to hide - with a little exception, but Shizuo has enough of a command on himself to avoid thinking about certain things in public. When he decides to go to the island, it's not with the intent to avoid people - at least, not more than usual - but because spending time here a week prior had shown Shizuo that the beach is nice and calm at night. The stars are especially peaceful.

His thought bubble calmly cycles through words like Izaya, stargazing, telescope, calm as he finishes a cigarette, walking along the water. He pauses and looks up at the night sky, and his bubble seems to pause with him - clearing itself of all text for a brief moment.]

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[Vegeta hasn't really left the island other than going to get food since this curse started. He emerges from the water with a large fish not far from Shizuo, looking...

Well, he's not sure how he feels about this. He tries his best to make his thoughts a complete blank, staring silently at the taller man.

Even when wet, his hair stands straight up.]

[There seems to be another star near the shore of the ocean, but Shizuo might realize it is anything but a star as it gets closer. Soon, a man dressed in white with a calm smile comes walking over, and that "star" is, in fact, the thought bubble trailing after him. Basically, his bubble is filled with warm golden light, and although dark shapes occasionally move in the light's depths, it hurts a bit to stare at it too long, like staring into a lightbulb.]

[He pauses by Shizuo, the light from his bubble casting a nice glow over the both of them.]

Good evening, Shizuo. Enjoying the stars?

[Ky approaches first without remembering that most people didn't want to be around others with their bubbles visible, but when he remembers before he's fully there he pauses and inclines his head, careful to look away from the other's bubble.]

My apologies for disturbing you.

[When something emerges from the water, Shizuo turns his attention to it, and finds himself facing Vegeta. Definitely unexpected, but Shizuo isn't really sure what to do. His bubble, likewise, hovers in a sort of middle ground between words. He hasn't seen Vegeta since after Sola's suicide, when the Saiyan dubbed him a human, expressed some frustration, and walked away.

Shizuo just regards him for a moment, matching Vegeta's silence, before it finally occurs to him to flick his cigarette and greet him. His bubble then cycles through words about fighting and losing and being human - and might even briefly flash something about Izaya calling him a monster, but that's short-lived.]

Hey.

[And he's just going to leave it at that, since he isn't really sure what Vegeta's opinion is of him now - and since Shizuo isn't really sure how he feels about their situation, either.]

[Shizuo finds his attention claimed by that approaching light, and when Jacob seemingly materializes beside it in the darkness, Shizuo's bubble openly reports that Jacob's bubble is one of the best he's seen. He likes how warm and bright it is, even if it's hard to focus on for too long.]

I am, actually.

[His bubble mentions that he hadn't really been one to take the time too look at the stars up until a week ago, and then flashes Izaya's name, before returning to brief mentions of stars and night.]

You have a nice bubble.

[Maybe that's a weird thing to say, but Shizuo says it anyway, especially because he is now trying to focus on keeping his thoughts from staying too much in the direction of Izaya - since that would only lead him to think about their recent conversation about Jacob.]

[And suddenly Vegeta's bubble activates, responding to Shizuo's. It shows Izaya, mentioning something about Shizuo growing stronger when he's hurt. Vegeta looked excited in the memory. And then Izaya again on the island with him, telling him the opposite of what he tells Shizuo -

That Shizuo is human.

Vegeta shakes his head, turning away. He doesn't seem to realize that his bubble displays the word alone on it.]

[Shizuo doesn't really feel encroached upon. He's in a pretty good mood, given how calm he feels. He discards his cigarette before Ky reaches him, and then gives him a small shake of his head.]

It's okay.

[His bubble scrolls through some text about how it's nice of Ky to look away from his bubble - very considerate.]

You don't have to worry about looking at my bubble.

[It just seems like an unnecessarily difficult thing to do.]

I'll try not to look at yours, though. If you want.

[You hear that? That might have been a twig snap.

Or leaves rustling.

You are not alone Shizuo. What do you do? Probably not notice. A shadow streaks across your back. Oh sweet lord of mercy, what could be out there on that island?

It's getting closer.

Oh shit. It's getting closer. Another rustle. Another whirring of wind. Sweet JESUS is this a demon--

Eyes glow and-

The predator swoops in for the kill. He leaps down from who the seriously fuck knows where and lands right on top of Shizuo.

Like. How did he even manage that? His knees are on either of Shizuo's shoulders and he's got his hands on either side of Shizuo's face as he bends over in half to look at Shizuo upside-down and nice and close. Can you even imagine what that'd look like? Probably.

You have been captured.. Congratulations.]

You're thinking about me. I am so flattered, Shizu-chan. We just saw each other and you can't let me go. Boy, I must have an iron fist around your heart.

[That...is upsetting. Shizuo tries to ward off the thoughts of feeling like a disappointment, but his bubble scrolls through that text anyway. He's glad Vegeta is looking away, since that's kind of an embarrassing thing to reveal. But Shizuo can't help but wish that the whole situation with Vegeta had ended on a different note.

And Izaya. Protecting him but simultaneously putting Vegeta off on fighting him. Because he didn't want Shizuo to break again. Shizuo's bubble regurgitates some conflicting and emotional babble about that, and once again, he's glad Vegeta isn't looking. Finally, it stops.

Instead, it focuses on that word conveyed in Vegeta's bubble.

And then Shizuo does something that's probably pretty stupid. He starts walking toward Vegeta, ignoring the water washing over his shoes, and he talks.]

I feel like I should say sorry or something.

[He discards his cigarette.]

I get it, though.

[His bubble reports that it understands how Vegeta feels, because Shizuo himself has often felt very alone - being as he is.]

I know I'm not as strong as you, but I'm stronger than anyone I know back where I come from, and it makes for a pretty shitty life.

[His own bubble echoes that word in Vegeta's bubble - alone - and then foolishly changes to lonely.]

How is being strong a bad thing?

[Vegeta turns to face him, confusion evident on his face. He has never once thought of his immense strength as a detriment. If anything he doesn't think he's strong enough. There's an image of red eyes in his bubble. They're the eyes of a mass murderer, the eyes of someone who would destroy an entire planet for kicks and take a child and force them to live life as a pet.]

If you are the strongest in your homeworld, then no one can subjugate you. No one can make you do anything you don't want to. You're above them all. Why do you hate your own gift so much?

[Shizuo's not the most observant person around. Izaya knows this, of course - and that fact coupled with Izaya's own ability to be sneaky results in Shizuo being caught unaware. He barely so much as flinches under the surprise of Izaya's weight on his shoulders, but he does give Izaya a (more or less) good-natured glare. His shades are slightly askew on his face now, though, so he might look more humorous than he intends.]

Flea.

[But the way he says the word is less like an insult and more as though Izaya has somehow endeared himself to Shizuo -

Yeah. It's affectionate. And Izaya's right. As usual. His bubble announces this.]

Look who's talking. Stalker.

Ahh! I have no idea what you're talking about. That's so rude to call me a stalker. I have feelings too, Shizu-chan.

[That tone of pout is hardly serious. He shifts around on Shizuo's shoulders and leans further forward until he practically threatens to fall off. He doesn't, of course.]

It's not my fault your excruciatingly bright head of blond hair is easy to track and follow. Besides. You're taller than me. So you walk faster. I had to catch up.

[Izaya moves around a bit more but this time, he situates himself so that his legs are actually hanging over Shizuo's shoulders comfortably and securely and he's sitting up on him now. He folds his arms over on Shizuo's head and leans against him.]

Don't let me interrupt your walk. You can keep going.

I'm not worried about being - subjugated or anything like that. I'm worried about hurting people. And everyone else worries about that, too. It makes it hard to live a normal life.

[His bubble starts to narrate a tale about a shopkeeper who encouraged Shizuo to drink milk - and begins to report on losing control and going too far. This isn't the path down which Shizuo wanted this conversation to go. He was trying to show Vegeta that he can relate.]

That doesn't matter though. Forget it. I was just saying that I get feeling alone.

You're such a whiner.

[Vegeta smirks.]

You didn't lose control the entire time you were living with that girl, did you? When I threatened to kill her. You just need to be motivated to control yourself. You're lazy and weak-willed, if someone doesn't threaten you then you just allow your emotions to take control.

[Shizuo shakes his head despite the fact that Izaya is just about hanging off of it.]

I don't know. You've always been faster than me. I don't think being taller has anything to do with it.

[But he does resume his walk as Izaya settles against him. This may be an uncommon way of strolling with a lover along the beach, but Shizuo's bubble reports that he likes it anyway. He just likes Izaya close, and that's really all that matters.

He's quiet for a moment, just walking along the water, but then his bubble starts to quiver a little and Shizuo speaks up.]

Izaya, I need to ask you something, but I don't really know how to ask it.

Mmmm. Maybe.

[It's not that important anyway. Luckily for Shizuo, Izaya really can't see his thought bubble. His own is levitating just overhead of Izaya himself. It doesn't matter regardless.

Izaya's just starting to relax on Shizuo. He's gone as far as to put his head down into his arms and shut his eyes. Not that he could fall asleep like this but the idea is pretty tempting.

He opens one eye.]

Nn? What is it, Shizu-chan? The best way to ask something is to just ask it. If you think it'd help, you could always just think it out. In your bubble.

[When did this turn into a discussion about me? Shizuo's bubble asks. He narrows his eyes behind his shades at that smirk, then sighs.]

I'm not lazy.

[Maybe a little weak-willed...]

I know I can control it more, now, but sometimes I still lose it.

[His bubble narrates his more recent fights - getting annoyed by locals, taking it a little too far with Serph during their first fight...]

I've been dealing with it for years. I know that it's because my emotions take control.

[It's always been his anger that has been difficult to keep in check.]

I'm trying.

No, I don't want to do that.

[Shizuo doesn't get the impression that his bubble is the most clear or eloquent of them all, which is hardly surprising. He doesn't trust it to handle this matter delicately, though it tries to indulge Izaya a couple of times. The name Sola is clear for just a moment, before the bubble turns a tentative clear again.]

It's not my business, really, but it's been bothering me.

[A sigh. He's been conflicted on bringing this up again since he saw Sola at the grocery store and Sola decided to share his little secret - something Shizuo had hoped he wouldn't. But Shizuo feels guilty and responsible for Sola falling as a causality in the name of his relationship with Izaya, and he just...can't shake that.]

You don't have any more plans for Sola, do you?

[That's the most sensitive way he can think of asking it, but his bubble is a little more blunt and elaborates on Shizuo's sense of responsibility.]

Edited 2012-03-17 06:18 (UTC)

Why do you lose it, though? Because it feels good. Because it's a release. It's not because you absolutely can't control it.

[Vegeta knows very well how good it feels to just let loose, and his bubble shows as much - the prince with a tall bald man and a man with knee-length hair, tearing through an entire city in a bloody massacre with no regard for who they're fighting. In the image, Vegeta can't be older than ten.]

Bah. If you're just going to say things like "I'm trying", we don't need to talk anymore. Don't try. Do.

[Izaya's quiet for a while. It's not necessarily that he's offended but he's genuinely thinking whether or not he does.]

As of right now, no, I don't. I never really intended to hurt Sola but I had always seen him as a very useful pawn. I plan to keep him on the board for future plans but those plans are pretty oblique. And in case you were wondering, which I'm sure this is your more indirect way of asking, I don't have any plans involving Zelda. Possibly some intrusive trolls but not Zelda.

[Not for now anyway but Izaya doesn't mention that because he is trying to be a good boyfriend and he is trying to keep a promise.]

I don't plan on killing him again. Tricking someone into their own suicide is a rather delicate process and I doubt that even I could make someone try it twice. Not that I would ever play the same card twice. Or else that might suggest a potential for being predictable and I don't want to be a predictable guy.

Okay.

[He is somewhat relieved by that explanation - and thankful that Izaya was willing to explain himself in such detail. And as promised, Shizuo is going to accept it, but he isn't ready to put the topic to rest just yet. Really, he hasn't had anyone to talk to about this - and it's weighed on his mind heavily enough to be a burden.]

He's only a kid. You knew that. I knew that. But I don't think I really knew until I ran into him the other day. His bubble was filled with these pictures that looked like colorings a kid would do.

[His own thought bubble reports, We hurt a kid, because he feels mutually responsible for what happened to Sola. Accepting it - accepting Izaya - doesn't mean that all of those feelings are put to rest.]

He doesn't know any better. He - believes in you.

[Izaya shuts his eye again. He doesn't bother to look at Shizuo's bubble. He knows that this isn't such a good thing to Shizuo but he can't really help himself still no regretting his decision.]

I know. That's why he was so easy to take advantage of.

[He knows it's not what Shizuo probably wants to hear but a part of Izaya thinks that maybe, stupidly, it might give Shizuo some insight as to why he had targeted Sola in the first place.]

I believes in me because he doesn't know any better. A lot of people in Vatheon believe in me because they don't know any better. And even the ones who do know better still choose to believe in me regardless. Sometimes I feel like a prophet or something equally as significant and important. But then I remember that no, I'm not.

[He sighs dramatically on Shizuo's head and puts his face into his arms.]

I'm just human.

[So disappointed in that he is.]

[It does feel good. One of Shizuo's best - and most accepting - memories is of tearing through a very large group of people who might as well have been zombies with the way they came after him, claiming to love him. Shizuo had been able to completely give into his strength, then, and had come out feeling not only free, but useful. He had used it for a purpose.

And that reminds him of his conversation with Trunks, and the name surfaces in his bubble.]

It's easier if I have a reason to use it. [But that's just an off-handed comment. He knows Vegeta is right - that he has a very valid point.]

Okay. I will.

[Easier said than done, but Vegeta still counted as his first sort-of-mentor and Shizuo doesn't doubt the truth behind his words. Nor does he bother to hide the fact that yeah, he wants to prove that he can.]

Hnn.

[Vegeta nods. It IS easier if there is an outlet, but it has to be one that's chosen, not an uncontrolled explosion of power.]

You can still try to fight me if you want to. Or...

[He purposefully calls forth an image of Trunks, jerking his head towards his bubble.]

That kid. He would probably just stand there and let you use him as a punching bag. It's not very satisfying, though.

[Shizuo doesn't think he'll ever fully understand this part of Izaya. And really, he doesn't need to understand it, and he knows that. It isn't necessary for things to work between them. He has already accepted Izaya, even knowing how dark things can be at their worst - even after Shizuo had witnessed Sola fall to his death. That acceptance - his love - is already in place and secure. It isn't necessary for him to dissect the parts of Izaya that don't quite line up with Shizuo's own personal morals.

But that doesn't mean it's easy. It isn't. In fact, it's pretty damn hard when Shizuo hears things like Izaya asking him to elaborate on what he means by torturing children, as he had during their video exchange a while back. It's pretty damn hard when Sola is standing before him with little images of an innocent sleepover party dancing around in his bubble, completely undeterred by the fact that Izaya talked him into exploding all over the ground. His bubble rattles off about all of this - and really, it all comes down to one point.]

Me too.

[Shizuo is only human, just as Izaya is only human, and that means that sometimes he's going to have trouble with the things Izaya does. It's easier to just turn a blind eye and not ask those questions which may have answers he can't handle, but sometimes the answers are going to be right there in front of his face, just as Sola had been, and what's Shizuo supposed to do then?

He knows the answer - accept it and move on - but that doesn't make it a simple matter.]

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Uh. You're welcome for the derpy as shit post

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