vatheon | tiir rumibul; oo1

Entry tags:

tiir rumibul; oo1

Who: Tiir and

vatheon!
When: Early afternoon?
Where: In the forest, near the lake.
Style: [I'm lazy okay]
Status: NEVER MIND this suddenly became open thanks to Cal—

[It might sound a bit odd, coming from someone who tries to be honest, but Tiir hates this curse.

... Granted, he hates most of them, but still.

It might've been fine another time, or under different circumstances. Half the time, Tiir wouldn't care if others could see his thoughts, as he'd already be saying them out loud.

With Guriko to look after, however, it's a different story. He can't afford to let her see.

... And he's not as confident as he was months ago.

Thus, his thought bubble blank as he forces himself to think about nothing, he escapes to his usual hiding place: the forest. That is, the one place he can usually count on to be unoccupied.

... Except for right now, apparently—]

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[He shouldn't be having this conversation. He should be walking away right now, or killing this pathetic human, which his bubble reflects—]

(But Guriko likes him. I—hate him, despise him—wish I could.)

And the thoughts that he's been trying to ignore, trying to pretend to didn't exist—they're starting to filter through.]

I know that! Do you have any idea how many times I've had to tell my friends the same, after the damage that was done to them by humans like you...!?

[He's quiet for a long moment, watching, observing, his own thoughts calm, a repetition of what he is saying out loud.]

Yes. Yes, I understand that now.

['before maybe not but now now I understand him better--']

But I'm thinking in the present, Tiir-san. I'm thinking of right here, right now.

Right here, right now, you are living in a place where you do not have to be thought of as a monster, where Guriko does not have to be thought of as a monster. Right here, right now, you have a choice--and you are allowing your prejudice to throw it away.

['And it's so, so sad. It's sad...Tiir deserves better. Guriko can have better. They both have this chance...']

Guriko is free to do as she wishes, as long as she isn't hurt in any way—and I intend to make sure of that. I will not dictate her beliefs or her actions, any more than I dictated my friends' back home.

However, I do not believe that I have any reason to like humans, just as I don't believe that in my world either.

(You can never be betrayed if you don't trust—)

I am perfectly fine here without involving myself with humans. While you do tend to be the majority, you're hardly the only beings here.

That's not what I mean.

This has nothing to do with humans beyond what you decide to do about us. This has nothing to do with the majority or the minority or the people here at all.

Tiir-san.

You have the opportunity now to stop thinking of yourself as a monster.

Are you able to take it?

['Isn't even betrayal worth it, if that's the case?']

[He smirks, but it lacks its usual smugness.

He's desperate.]

Then it's just as well that I don't consider myself one, isn't it?

(Want to be proud, try to be, was easier before I met you—)

[He recoils a little, frowning, clearly baffled.

and then, a little weakly--]

Are you lying to yourself, or just to me?

['Don't do that to yourself']

[And then finally, he snaps.

In a flash, his hand shoots forward, reaching for Minato's neck and grabbing it. Lifting him above the ground—]

(Weak. So utterly weak. Could kill him now, shoud kill him.]

He could strangle him or tear out his neck so easily—so why isn't he?]

(Why can't I kill him?)

Stop assuming you know anything about me!

(I don't even know—)

[For a moment, instinctively, Minato draws in a sharp breath and his thought bubble is thrown into disarray--but again, they seem to mostly not be his thoughts.

'beelzebub beelzebub not messiah, this isn't magic, hanged man hanged man, but there isn't anything that corresponds with hanged man and maybe that's why--'

And then his thoughts, Minato's thoughts, cool and calm even as he relaxes some--even as his feet dangle in empty air.]

T-Tiir-san.

[Even without Tiir strangling him, it's hard to breathe in this position--

'Can't breathe, can't-- Tiir. Tiir. Tiir. Shouldn't be ashamed of who he is--']

(I hate you, I hate you, I hate you—I want to hate you.

If I can't, then the only one to hate is—)

[With a cry, he lets go of Minato—or rather, he throws him to the ground, before turning away.]

Why do you insist on—?

(If humans are inferior, that means we're superior, right?)

[Ah.

He hits the ground hard and remains there for a moment, blinking.

And then his gaze softens, because he suddenly understands.

'Don't hate yourself. Don't hate yourself. Don't--']

Then hate me.

[A breath, and he looks up quietly and--]

Hate me.

['For your sake. For Guriko's sake.' He could take it. He could handle it.]

[He laughs—a broken laugh. Deranged, even. As if Minato's told some kind of joke—which, all things considered, this situation is.

A joke.

Some kind of twisted joke, and he doesn't want to hear the punchline.]

(Don't want to think about this, never wanted to think about any of this.)

He still doesn't look at Minato or his bubble, insteading invoking his eyes, as the glowing red reminds him of what he is. He continues to laugh, before pausing to take a breath and speak.]

You would dare say that now, after everything? Do you honestly think it's that simple?

(Can't turn back, world moves on without you, have to keep advancing, never look back because once I do, I can't look forward the same way—)

[He considers it quietly--considers the laugh, considers the eyes, considers, considers, considers.

His thought bubble is nearly quiet, merely indistinguishable murmurs lurking and nothing more.

Nothing more than a quiet, 'why not?']

...I don't know what I think.

But I know what I want. I want you to be happy.

[...a quiet breath and he looks down for a moment, and his thought bubble drifts-- 'That's all I've ever wanted, so why is it so hard for those that deserve it to find happiness...']

If you can hate me instead of...

Instead of yourself--or anything else. Then...I hope you can.

[And again, he simply laughs. Because he knows—even if he tried to hate Minato now, he wouldn't be able to.

He wouldn't be able to like himself either. He never has, even before Minato came along. Minato's merely broken down the wall he used so that he didn't have to acknowledge it.

Once his laughter dies down, he finally faces Minato, his eyes still glowing red and a smirk present on his face.]

Allow me to tell you something.

I have been taking others' lives since I was born. I devoured my way into the world from inside the womb of a human woman. I could kill a full grown man before I even knew how to read.

[Flashes of the people he killed as children appear through his bubble—people who made a move against him first, and people who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.]

I've been killing humans my entire life, and not once did I think twice. I never thought it to be wrong to kill... until you came along. For the first time in my life, I've wondered if perhaps this isn't all right after all. If perhaps humans can truly be as kind as you've acted.

[He laughs again.]

Yet... if it's wrong to kill humans, then what does that make me, having murdered others since the day I was born? A monster, doesn't it? Just as the world decided.

[Another laugh, though this one sounds vaguely like he's crying, even though he isn't.]

At the very least, it means that I'm nothing more than a murderer, as humans always believed. So do you really think that everything will be fine merely by hating you? Do you truly believe that that will help anything?

If I choose to, then that is the same as accepting that humans are, indeed, worth nothing more than the dirt beneath my feet. I will thus render any 'deal' we might've had void and devour them as I please.

And if I choose not to, then...

[There's a long pause while Minato just listens.

And then he slowly sits up, cross-legged, and looks up at Tiir quietly.]

...I am not here to judge you, Tiir-san.

And...how you judge yourself will be more important than my judgements ever could be.

But...for what it's worth...

I still think you have the chance to make what you want of your life. If you...do not like the person you were.

Then change that person.

[... This is the first time that Tiir's ever really spoken about his feelings. It's strangely... tiring, in a way, and so, by the end of it, he's run out of laughter, run out of anger—run out of everything but the sorrow that's always swallowed up his life and a sense of brokenness that he's always hated.

Thus, this time, he smiles, as his eyes fade back to blue.]

It doesn't matter, even if I change myself. Whether I will it or not, I'm defined by these eyes. I could be exactly like you in everything else, and it wouldn't matter.

(And how I wish I were more like you—)

The world has rejected our existence. That does make it rather difficult to be proud of ourselves, for any of us. Despite knowing that it's unreasonable, that we shouldn't have anything to be ashamed about—even someone like me, who as an Iino Doue bearer has better circumstances than others...

[He looks up at the sky, still smiling sadly.]

In the end, even I'm not strong enough.

[Minato stays seated, watching Tiir's expressions, seeing his sadness and his tiredness and all his thought bubble can say is--

'this isn't fair. Not fair not fair not fair'

It's not fair. That Tiir has to go through this. That Tiir has to be like this. But--

He'll speak again. Quietly. Calmly.]

You are strong enough.

Because you told me once that you...You continue to live. Despite everything. If you can do that...then you're strong enough for anything.

The world is wrong, Tiir-san. And I know that won't make it any easier. But you should not be ashamed.

[He stands then, slowly pushing himself to his feet.]

You killed...yes, but to survive, in response to the environment you found yourself in, you killed because you were taught to kill.

But... [Heh. He looks down, a little sadly, and then back up at Tiir.] You still retain your humanity. As I would see humanity--not as the humans of your world would see it.

... Is it truly strength, I wonder?

(Desperate. Meaningless good-for-nothing everyone died because of me but if I could ask for one thing—)

Whether or not I'm deemed a person is inconsequential. Regardless of what I may be... I'll change the world, where my friends aren't even granted the right to live—I'll remake it into one where they can live happily.

(Kill however many humans I need to destroy Gastark for what they've done unforgivable can really I trust humans I suppose I am cruel after all, but—)

If I can achieve that, then I can finally say that my life has had meaning. That my existence wasn't worthless.

(And I'll even kill God himself if that's what it takes—)

[He is quiet for a long moment, thinking. And in his own thought bubble--there are similar thoughts.

Thoughts of doing whatever it takes. Thoughts of fighting the odds and battling Nyx and standing up when it looked like everything was lost--

and he nods once, firmly.]

You can do it, Tiir-san.

[...

He smiles wryly.]

It's not as if I have much of a choice. Between fighting to change things and wasting away as an outcast...

(So please, let me be alive—)

At the very least... even a good-for-nothing like me knows how to be persistent.

[.....

He considers that for a moment, slowly pushing himself to his feet.]

Then you have to admit that you're good for something, not good-for-nothing at all.

['Such a strong, impressive person, why can't he see--']

(How foolish, coming from him.)

It's hardly something to applaud over. Even an idiot knows how to be stubborn.

['...from me?']

The difference is that you aren't an idiot, Tiir-san.

That's why you fight so hard, isn't it? Because you know...

You know what happens when you're betrayed. You know what it feels like.

(Why would someone like you—)

... It can shatter people. That's why I was glad—glad to have known from the beginning that I wasn't human.

[He smiles bitterly.]

Though now I have to wonder if it was worth it, if it meant being wrong my entire life.

[He lifts his chin then, narrowing his eyes slightly.

It hurts to have to say this. It hurts so badly, and it shows in his thoughts, hurt and confusion and-- 'why does it have to be this way? Why can't I believe in these people. Why have they done this?'

Why why why why because in the end his thoughts hit a wall, and that is 'Nothing is Tiir's fault'.]

You weren't wrong.

[He closes his eyes then, tightly, because he hates this--because he's always had faith in people of all sorts and he never passes judgment but here and now he has no choice and he has to say--]

They were wrong. For what they did to you. For what they did to people like you.

For such a difference as abilities and your eyes.

[He sighs quietly, slowly sticking his hands into his pockets.]

You've fought all your life for what you considered right. You don't have to give up on that just because not everyone is like those in your world.

(Not my fault? A lie. That's a lie. Always our fault, my fault, can only ever blame ourselves—)

And yet... if not all humans are like that, then that does, in fact, mean that I've always been wrong. That I've been living a lie.

After all, that goes against what I've believed all my life.

[Images of his skills flash through, along with words (how many humans like him have I killed?), before it ends with—]

(Was I wrong about everything?)

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I'm going to pretend like I hit enter on this tag two weeks ago

/c l a p s

shut up

ilu--EXCEPT NOT ANYMORE AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS

....YOU LOVE ME. DON'T LIE

ONLY AFTER I TAG BACK