vatheon | (no subject)

Shizuo was feel a lot better, both mentally and physically. His fever had broken a couple of days ago, his ability to breathe had improved, and all he had left was a lingering, annoying cough. It had been the first time he'd been sick - ever - and it had been terrible. In a way, though, it had almost been necessarily as well. Shizuo wasn't sure how things would have worked out between him and Izaya without the excuse to bring them together. Without Izaya's goodness, his desire to help Shizuo.

In the aftermath of their parting, Shizuo had to admit he felt a little down. How couldn't he? Everything had been so emotional and yet so perfect between them, that it was almost as though they had lived in a bubble - ironically - that sheltered them from the outside world. Eventually, Izaya had to leave, which left Shizuo alone to focus on all the bad things that had been set on the back burner. Like how Zelda had been hurt. How he had watched Sola die. How he needed to talk to both of them, eventually. He even thought about Ion, and how he never properly thanked him for his help with healing.

It all bore down on Shizuo, the moment that Izaya left.

He was happy - what he had finally established with Izaya was real. Important. Everything to him. They saw each other, and were going to work hard to fix each other. That would take time, but Shizuo was now fully dedicated. He made it - slower, as he said he would be - but finally, he and Izaya were on the same page.

But that didn't automatically ease the guilt that Shizuo felt, the pain of realizing that distance between himself and Zelda was important. Sola had still died and Zelda had still been affected. And Shizuo had fucked Izaya in the meanwhile.

Their love, born in the wake of demise and pain.

It was befitting, he supposed a little grimly, for two monsters.

Not that he was bitter. He was very happy now that they were both dedicated, both fitting together like two puzzle pieces. It was just that that area of his life was the only one that made sense, the only one that worked unhindered.

Everything else was a mess.

It was Zelda's birthday, and as Shizuo promised Zelos, he picked up a cake. The best he could find, meeting the criteria of strawberries and pink and gold frosting, with designed floweres all along the rim. Shizuo had taste-tested a sample, and the consistency was not only perfect, but it also felt as though it melted in his mouth. Delicious - and Shizuo knew plenty about good desserts. He was carrying it on his way to Zelda's, when he came across Zelda herself.

"Hi," he said, pausing. It had been over a week now since he last saw her. Which was strange. And given the circumstances...uncomfortable. "...Happy birthday."

Truthfully, she had forgotten entirely what day it was. When she saw Shizuo carrying a cake, she initially wondered what it was for. Mostly, she was just glad to see him. She had already resolved to not even ask about the cake when he wished her happy birthday. That was right. It was her birthday.

He remembered with everything going on?

"Ahh?" No, that was supposed to be a hello. And a thank you, too! The words weren't quite there yet.

That...wasn't a hello. Or a thank you. Shizuo sighed, discretely, wondering what Zelda knew. A week was a long time to figure things out and Sola - god, he needed to talk to Sola - would be back by now. Surely Zelda had spoken to him. And Zelda was smart. She probably could guess at what Izaya had been doing when he and Sola jumped.

This really could be the event that ruined everything between them. Shizuo still cared about Zelda and wanted the best for her, but he had made a decision. A promise, which he had meant and would keep. It would hurt to be separated from Zelda - already did - and Shizuo wasn't sure how he'd be able to handle outright rejection. Even after everything, he wanted to protect Zelda. He failed at that, though, and probably would continue to fail if he stayed near.

No matter what happened, Izaya would come first. He would be most important. And that's what made Shizuo a shitty friend to Zelda, and probably to everyone else. But unconditional love and acceptance came with a cost.

"Um. Do you - want to take this?" He wasn't sure if he was exactly invited.

She shook her head to clear it, still looking slightly embarrassed. There was no reason for her to be shy like this around Shizuo, they were friends - but it had been a little while since she had seen him. She was surprised.

"I - yes, thank you! I'm sorry, I was just surprised you remembered... let's get inside," she said quickly with a glance towards the Highblood's house. Zelda wasn't going to hide from him, but she wasn't going to have long chats on her doorstep either. She opened the door and ushered Shizuo inside.

"Of course I remembered," Shizuo mumbled in reply. He was a shitty enough friend without forgetting simple things like birthdays. Had Zelos not asked him to get the cake, Shizuo might not have shown up, but he would have left Zelda a gift, at the least.

He followed her inside and set the cake down on the kitchen counter. Then fell quiet. This was far more awkward than he thought it would be. What was he supposed to say? By the way, I realized I'm in love and I want to accept Izaya for who he is even though he got Sola to jump off a building? Even the thought of Sola made him cringe. Shizuo had watched him....

No.

So he asked, "Where's Zelos?" instead.

"Well, that makes one of us. I forgot about it completely," she admitted, sounding sheepish. Was it really normal for someone to forget their 18th birthday? Probably not, but she had.

"He might still be upstairs, he's been sick." Zelda looked up at Shizuo at that, shutting the door behind her. Come to think of it...

"What about you? Did the curse affect you at all?" She stood on her tiptoes, reaching up to press a hand to Shizuo's forehead. Sure, she had checked in not long ago, but that was before the curse!

"Oh. I'm glad I remembered then. I know Zelos did, too." He made himself smile. "If he's up to it, I bet he'll come down." He looked at Zelda. "You look healthy. Were you okay?" It's a question that covers more than illness.

"I got sick," he said. His fever had, to his knowledge, broken, but her hand still felt cool against his head. "First time in my life. I was confused. It was strange but - ah - I got better. Because. Izaya." Well, if he was going to test the atmosphere, dropping his name was the way to do it. "He helped me, a lot. I just have an annoying cough now."

Then, as an afterthought, "I promise to be careful about spreading whatever it is I've got." Then again, maybe it was contagious. Izaya hadn't gotten sick and they had -

Yeah, not the time to think about that. At all.

"I'm sure he'll be down soon enough. I haven't been sick at all. I think that these curse-induced sickness might not be contagious." After all, she'd been sleeping in the same bed as Zelos. If it was contagious, she'd certainly have it.

She lowered her hand as he continued to speak, then smiled up at him. "He looked after you? I thought it might be the other way around, but..." But maybe Shizuo saw it now, too. The kindness in Izaya that had been so obvious to Zelda. It had taken something horrible for it to happen, but now they could both clearly see the good and the evil that Izaya held. "...you can see it now, can't you?"

"I do," he replied quietly, with a small but genuine smile on his face. It seemed inappropriate, with everything that had happened to Zelda and Sola - and everyone else who may have been affected - but he couldn't help it. "I see him now."

And Zelda was still responsible for that. Perhaps even more, now.

He debated bringing up the next topic, after all it was Zelda's birthday, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to know. "Is Sola okay?" Quickly, he added, "I'm sorry."

For asking, for causing, for everything, really.

"You don't have to apologize, Shizuo. You didn't do any of this. If something good came of it, then I'm glad."

Her smile faded as she thought about Sola. Zelda lowered her head. "Sola is... not well. He is with Signless right now, so I know that he's being looked after, but..." She bit down on her lip. "He thought that what he did would make me love him. Or make me realize that I did, rather. I think that it might be best if I don't see him, anymore."

"It was my fault." And really, it was. If he had trusted Izaya more, had gone to him with his problems instead of trying to fight him...If he had just see Izaya then, then none of this would have happened. In trying to protect Zelda, he had hurt her. That's why he couldn't protect her anymore.

But he didn't need to talk about that, now.

"I'm glad someone's keeping him company." Eventually, Shizuo was going to have to have a conversation with Sola, too. "I think...he's probably confused. But yeah, that'd probably be the best, at least for a while..."

He shrugged, because he wasn't confident in that assessment. He just didn't know.

"Don't say things like that. No one person is at fault here. It was a combination of events. You might have said some things to Izaya that hurt him, but he still chose to act out like he did. Just as I chose to be unclear with Sola. All we can do is try to be more clear with each other in the future. Understand?"

It didn't really sound like a question, it sounded more like an order. Zelda was just about done with all of this mess, and if transparency would prevent it, then so be it.

"Okay," SHizuo replied quietly. He knew he didn't shoulder all of the blame, but there was plenty hanging over him. At least Zelda seemed fully aware of the situation and hadn't shooed him off. He coughed - covering it, of course - and then cleared his throat.

They just wouldn't talk about it. That seemed like a fair decision.

Her expression softened again. "Good." Not talking about it was definitely a fair decision, one that Zelda was going to employ starting right now. She moved to start some tea (with milk!), having long since convinced the shopkeeper that she should get another bottle since she traded hers away in a "quest".

"It's good to see you again. I've been worried," Zelda admitted. She paused for a moment, then decided to get the awkward question out of the way. "Will you be living with Izaya?"

"Can I get the plates or something?" It was Zelda's birthday. She shouldn't have to do the setup work.

"I'm sorry I made you worried. It was...tough for a while." That was kind of an understatement. Shizuo's anger had relapsed, and that was serious business. But it was behind him, now.

"No. That'd be fast, wouldn't it? And he lives with all those kids." He shrugged. It hadn't come up, probably for those reasons. "I'm back at my old place for now."

"Yes, please do." Zelda gestured to the cupboard where the plates sat as she made preparations.

Back at his old place. It was disappointing, but it was to be expected. "I understand. That's probably for the best, considering that we wouldn't want Izaya to throw another tantrum." She huffed, but there was no real venom in her words. Obviously she was irritated with him. At least she didn't hate him completely.

"That doesn't mean I'll allow you to make yourself a stranger entirely, though. We are still friends. If you hide away for too long, I will track you down."

Shizuo took out the plates and brought them to the table, setting them out. He was torn between wanting to defend Izaya and place the blame on himself again - and just keeping quiet because Zelda hadn't wanted to talk about it anymore. Instead, he settled on saying, "That way I don't have to worry about the no-hunnies rule." Which was embarrassing, but it took him out of the position of being in the middle. "Since we're serious. And I can smoke inside, again." He tried to sound positive, but the truth was, once Izaya left and Shizuo was living on his own again, he missed "family" breakfasts and idle chit chat. He was going to miss living with Zelda, despite the fact that he hadn't lived there very long.

"I'll take the rest of my things today," he said.

"I'm glad you still want to be friends. I do too. I won't hide." Anymore, at least. It was just going to be a little different, now.

Truth be told, the Chosen had been lurking around upstairs, listening in and taking a completely inordinate amount of time to make himself presentable. He had no intention of getting dragged into this whole business about Sola. There's no reason for him to; he'd done his part in informing everyone initially so Zelda didn't have to, and then he washed his hands of it. Kid might be messed up but he wasn't his therapist.

Hearing that the other two had moved to safer topics, Zelos decided to make his appearance, looking much better. All that remained of his illness was a sore throat and that he can handle, though his rendition of Happy Birthday might be a little off. He twirled a wrapped gift on one finger, grinning, and snatched it out of the air as he hugged Zelda suddenly from behind, arms tossed lazily around her shoulders.

"Hey there, birthday girl~"

She was definitely not expecting that. Zelda's ears shot up and she let out a squeak before turning her head to see that it was Zelos. Her ears relaxed as she eyed him.

"Was your intention to age me a few years at once by surprise? Well done." Zelda was scowling, but she didn't really appear to be angry. She was touched that they had both remembered what day it was - though she wasn't entirely sure how Zelos had known in the first place...

Shizuo was glad for the interruption. He didn't really want to harp on the topic of his moving out. He finished setting the table and opened the box, taking out the cake and putting it in the center of the table.

"I brought candles. Mine are a little old-fashioned." They weren't magical, like Zelda's had been, but they were trick candles. Shizuo hadn't forgotten about how Zelda had mentioned they were a kind of tradition for her. He set them in the cake, but waited to light them until she and Zelos were ready.

"Completely my intention~" He nuzzled the side of her head exaggeratedly before letting go and pulling out the chair at the head of the table for her. "C'mon, have a seat Princess."

Zelos glanced at Shizuo with a grin, glad the other man had brought such a nice cake. Hopefully Zelda was pleased too.

She was pleased, but also embarrassed. It seems natural that a princess would be used to being the center of attention, but Zelda was not. Much of her life had been spent running and fighting, not... being doted on. There was a faint blush on her cheeks as she sat down like she was directed to. She tilted her head at the cake, asking a (in retrospect, it would be - just look at what she wears!) stupid question.

"How did you know what colors I like?"

It wasn't a stupid question, because Shizuo tended to be oblivious about things like that. Had it not been for Zelos, he might not have picked the right colors. "That was Zelos' doing," he answered honestly.

Then he lit the candles, one-by-one, using his lighter. And then took a step back. And smiled. He was looking forward to seeing Zelda try to blow them out, but tried not to give it away by staring. "Ready?" He made sure before he started singing, not really sure if Zelos had a different rendition on the birthday song (and if he did - by all means he could be the one to sing. Shizuo wasn't big on singing himself. At all.)

"Of course I knew! You always wear the same colors. Besides, we both like pink~"

The Chosen stood back while Shizuo lit the candles, turning out the electric light once all of the flames were ablaze. On the count of three after Shizuo declared 'ready', Zelos belted out a purposely off-key rendition of happy birthday as sung on his planet. The lyrics may be translated by Vatheon as the traditional birthday song, but the tune is something else entirely and probably nothing they've heard before. It makes for a somewhat strange sounding song.

The song sounded ridiculously hideous with both of them singing something different, but Zelda didn't mind. She waited for them to finish before attempting to blow out the candles, looking mildly confused when they lit themselves again. She tried again, getting the same results.

And then she laughed.

"Ahh, you remembered! Well, I can still handle it!"

She flicked her wrist, calling on a light mist to put the candles out, looking pleased with herself.