3 ♐ You think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain...

[aim_exorable]

Who: Expatriate Darkleer, Gamzee Makara, and Equius Zahhak; then Darkleer and Psiioniic
When: Right after this trainwreck, and then after that
Where: The highblood household
Style: Action?
Status: Closed

[All that tonight has taught him is that he is still very much the fool, and his saving graces are few and far between.]

[The journey home feels so different than the one he had taken away. That had been quick, his mind focused on a thousand other things and always coming back to one. Now? Right now, he cannot think of a single thing besides the words that have been exchanged between him and... the other.]

[It was better in the beginning. Better when it was just senseless bickering, a way to pass time and try to 'win' against the other. When did that change? Why did it have to?]

[Finally arriving at the hive he shares with the children should feel like a blessing. Instead, upon the doorstep, he pauses, staring numbly at the names awkwardly placed upon the surface. Tired, he carefully removes the title which accompanies his- not daring to crush the words into something beyond repair, just removing them- before he slinks along the porch. He doesn't wish to go inside just yet. Instead, he sinks down, sitting on the edge and shakily removing his shades. Dismissing them to his sylladex, he holds his head in his hands and just tries to breathe.]

[It is almost funny how one night can change so much and make him so very tired. ]

Comments

[420]

[What is it with bluebloods and brooding on the porch? Or just brooding in particular?

Now maybe any other troll would recognize it when someone wants some solitude, some time to brood think things over. Not Gamzee though; Darkleer ain't that lucky.

It isn't before too long before the door opens and then closes with a quiet sound, followed by the sounds of bare feet padding against the wood of the porch. Finally, Gamzee comes to a halt next to him. He watches him for a moment, mouth opening and closing once or twice, trying to figure something out, before he just gives up and sits down right besides him, quiet and waiting.]

[aim_exorable]

[Yes, it would be too much to ask for Gamzee to leave. Darkleer knows his bad luck well enough by now. Still, as he hears those soft footsteps, he tries to hope at least a little bit.]

[He doesn't want to be seen like this. He doesn't want to be seen at all. He should have gone elsewhere.]

[The silence between them is kept further, and further still, until Darkleer speaks with the same quiet, dull tone he used with Summoner before he left.]

Go back to bed. It is late.

[420]

Ain't that fuckin' late.

[Gamzee's voice is soft, without reproach, just calmly pointing that out. He once stayed awake for a whole month without sleep --he still doesn't sleep every night even if he does head to bed-- bedtimes are not something he cares about. Especially not when there is some blueblood brooding on his porch. He has a mental radar for that.

Reaching over, he rests his hand on Darkleer's massive wrist.]

You okay?

[aim_exorable]

[Automatically, Darkleer shies away, doing his best to avoid the touch. No more for tonight. He doesn't want anything tonight, save to be by himself and grow cold and distant again. That made things so much easier.]

I am fine, Sir Makara.

[He keeps his head down, hair a way to hide his eyes.]

I am simply tired.

[Not exactly a lie.]

[420]

Gamzee.

[It is automatic, but he still hopes that if he just parrots it back at Darkleer often enough, he can get him to use that for him rather than the stiff title.

And damnit, where is Equius? He speaks 'broody blueblood' much better than Gamzee does. And if Darkleer is gonna shy his wrist away, then Gamzee will just lay his hand on his leg.]

You sure? I mean, you are like really fuckin' sure? Ain't all being no need to keep shit inside, you know? I'll get my listen on for you.

[aim_exorable]

[There really is no escaping the boy when he's determined.]

[No, Darkleer isn't sure. After everything, he is most certainly far from sure. But he doesn't want to let Gamzee know, even as much as it is obvious.]

It is not something you would understand or be able to assist with, and not worthy of concern.

[Possibly, his stern tone would have more weight to it if he made eye contact.]

[420]

[It is all that highblood stubbornness. That doesn't disappear easily.]

Even if a motherfucker can't all lift a fuckin' prong to help, letting shit out is good. And, like, you are fuckin' you. Of course, I'm all gonna get up in my motherfuckin' concern here at.

[You are his daddy, after all.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Normally, Equius sleeps the whole night through like a big blue rock, but the absence of Gamzee's body heat beside him wakes him up. He blinks up at the ceiling a few times before getting out of bed and padding downstairs. He's surprised when he finds the kitchen empty--he thought for sure it was midnight grilled cheese o'clock--but then hears Gamzee's voice drifting in from the front porch. Gamzee's... and Darkleer's.]

[He heads out to the front porch himself, and immediately knows, based solely on Darkleer's posture, that something is wrong. He knows that position, the way those shoulders are hunched forward and his head hanging, because he's been in it so often himself. In a way, it's like having an eerie glimpse into the future, into what he'll become.]

[Assuming he wasn't actually dead, of course.]

[Brushing that macabre thought aside, Equius pads over and takes a seat on Darkleer's other side, sitting close to the adult troll and trying to loop their arms together.]

Hey. What's going on?

[aim_exorable]

[This is really, really not his night.]

[Darkleer is still attempting to find a way to properly articulate to Gamzee that everything is fine and he really can leave him alone now when he hears the door open once again. Sighing, he doesn't fight this time as Equius presses up against him. All the more reason not to raise his head.]

Nothing is going on, Equius. You both should be in bed.

[But it's an automatic kind of response, near mechanical.]

[420]

Naw, motherfucker. I think we all gotta fuckin' be right here at.

[Gamzee leans in slightly, trying to peer up into his face. The concern is bare on his face without his normal paint to hide it. A frown knits his brow and his perpetually sleepy-looking eyes are a bit narrowed.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Equius agrees with Gamzee, and presses in a little closer against Darkleer. He didn't bother to put his own glasses on before coming downstairs, and his eyes are wrought with concern, worry, and a deep, simple affection for the older troll.]

What's the matter, Dadleer?

[It's only the three of them. Using that nickname should be fine.]

[aim_exorable]

Nothing-

[A frustrated sigh, and Darkleer passes his hand over his face. Sorry, Gamzee. Not tonight. Darkleer feels frustratingly vulnerable enough as it is. The only reason he took off his glasses in the first place...]

[...who knows. It's tiring, keeping up a facade, particularly this one. Maybe he just wanted some relief before he had to go back inside and play the guardian to these two. He's regretting that, now.]

[Voice quiet to begin with, he lowers it further, keeping it soft.]

I simply had a disagreement with another. It's nothing that hasn't been dealt with.

[420]

[Nope. They have dad radar and they know when he is feeling down.

Leaning close, he pats Darkleer's arm in what is clearly supposed to be a comforting gesture.]

Awww, shit, did you all fuckin' strife with Signless again?

[aim_exorable]

[Despite the fact that it is his right, both by blood and by station as engineer, to command the Helmsman however he wishes, Darkleer is still hesitant to contact him at such a ludicrous time. Just because the children were up does not mean a thing.]

[Still, in the end, a hesitant message is sent.]

D --> Helmsman?

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ The Helmsman doesn't always sleep all that well, or ever, really. So he's wide awake when the message comes through, he'd just been sitting on the hive's balcony. ]

Ye2, 2iir?

[aim_exorable]

[Ah. This almost makes things more difficult. There's a pause. The last time this has happened, the curse was their reason for him opening up to the other. Is this really acceptable?]

[Finally, exhaustion manages to convince him that it does not matter.]

D --> If you are not further preoccupied
D --> I would care for your company

[p2iioniicii2t]

Thii2 would come a2 a welcome change two my ciircum2tance2.
Where do you requiire me?

[ He's already slipping off the balcony, holding his SFC and watching for the response expectantly. ]

[aim_exorable]

[Normally, Darkleer would inquire as to just what those circumstances are. Right now, he does not.]

D --> My hive
D --> Equius is currently preoccupied
D --> You will not have to deal with him
D --> I will be outside in the back

[p2iioniicii2t]

Two miinute2.

[ It's a short message, he could fly and type if he really wanted to, but there really doesn't seem to be any reason. Something seemed... not right about this sudden request for his presence as well. It was best to investigate in person.

The glow gives him away shortly before he arrives, bright blue and red as he moves to the backyard of the hive. ]

[aim_exorable]

[It's not hard to spot Dakleer's form in the middle of the yard, particularly with the brilliant white form of Dural perched on his forearm. She watches the Psiioniic carefully, coolly, and ruffles her feathers slightly as he lands.]

[Perhaps more noticeable than the lusus' presence is Darkleer's appearance: no armor, no glasses. He wears nothing but simple, dark clothes. The look in his eyes is tired, worn down, and deeply sorrowful. Not just from tonight, but from so many other things that have built up in his life. He nods to the yellowblood as he arrives.]

Helmsman.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ When he lands before Darkleer, he orients himself very carefully, making sure his footing is secure as it can be before letting his psionics fade. He wobbles, unsteady, but so long as he reaches out to put a hand on Darkleer, he doesn't fall.

The touch, of course, is entirely practical. It is the Helmsman extending physical touch in an effort to comfort when he sees the man that so often kept him anchored in obvious emotional distress. That was not the place of one of his kind. ]

Thir...

[aim_exorable]

[In another state, Darkleer would be startled at the touch. It isn't often that the Helmsman reaches out first. Before, it has always so often been him having to guide the other, being a steady source. This occurence would be something to marvel at... but Darkleer can't bring himself to quite care. Not now. Instead, he murmurs something to Dural and watches as she takes off into the air, circling the area above his hive. Still staring upwards, he shifts his head so that he's looking towards Psiioniic.]

I believe... I have been quite the fool.

[p2iioniicii2t]

Thith...

[ Standing like this is harder than he would like, and it isn't long until there's the faintest glow as his psionics take up some of his weight. Gravity, it seems, is still quite the force to contend with.

His hand does not move from the larger man's arm. ]

Thith may be betht to dithcuth where none may come upon uth.

[aim_exorable]

It may.

[A hollow agreement.]

[It seems to take so much effort to press his hands down against the ground and push himself up onto his feet. The movements are slow and careful, unsure. There is no proud soldier form to the way he stands. For once, Darkleer's stature is slumped, broken perhaps, and he stares at the Helmsman helplessly.]

Lead on, then, if there is a better suggestion you are thinking of.

[p2iioniicii2t]

Perhapth your rethpiteblock?

[ He's... not really used to making decisions for other people, and his usually flat expression just faintly betrays his nervousness. It seems more important to assist Darkleer, however, than to be afraid of doing something wrong.

Right then, it seemed like the only error he could make would be not to act. ]

Let uth go there.