vatheon | Enter The Gromble

Entry tags:

Enter The Gromble

Who: The Gromble and ~you~
When: Late night, March 2nd
Where: The plaza
Style: Either
Status: Open!

[When The Gromble awakens, the first thing he notices is how wet he is. It's not the comforting sludge of his bed, it's almost like clean water. The Gromble just barely suppresses a shudder as one of the locals approaches with a welcoming kit. He's shocked to say the least when the human walks right up to him and shoves a fresh towel in his face, cheerfully telling him he should dry off before he gets sick. What in the name of the pool is wrong with that human?! Can't they see how terrifyingly hideous he is?

They must be drugged like those strange love-and-peace humans from a few decades back. It's the only acceptable explanation. No sane human wouldn't recoil from his grotesque visage!

Rather than wipe off his protective coat of grime he chooses to toss the towel to the side, red heels quickly click-clacking their way to the nearest garbage can and propelling him inside where he can safely read his pamphlet and observe the sparkling clean plaza. Truly, humans were absolutely unfathomable creatures, who would want to live in a place like this?

He remains there absorbing the information written in the pamphlet (the whole thing sounds ridiculous, really) until someone approaches the trash can. He's feeling pretty cranky, a good scare might cheer him up. He hunkers down, ready to loom at the person. Come at him, Vatheon.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The sudden appearance of a monster from the trash startles Sola mightily and he whirls around with a yelp, pegging the grey creature in the face (that's its face, right?) with the bag of tomatoes, resulting in a disgusting squelch. The bag leaves his hand, drooping across Gromble's face as Sola covers his ears from the painful screeching.]

Ow!!

[The bag in the face is actually quite pleasing. It's like he just scared a little old lady! Gromble pops out of the trash can completely and starts to skitter away, giggling. He has no idea he just scared a hero type.]

You little jerk, get back here!

[Ears still ringing painfully, Sola takes off after the creature that had just attacked him. Instead of pulling his sword from his back, he yanks the slingshot from his sylladex and skids to a stop just long enough to fire a quick succession of three seeds at the back of the thing's...head..?... at it's back before running to see what he'd hit (or missed).]

[He's faster than expected, and all this fresh air is starting to wear on the old Gromble. He didn't fill his sac before being rudely ripped from the dump, and now a human is chasing him down with a slingshot with nary a gutter in sight to dive into?

This is just unacceptable.

One of the seeds hits one of the Gromble's heels. He stops and turns, voice low and dangerous.]

Watch where you're aiming, brat!

You're the one that attacked me!

[Sola looms over Gromble, taking advantage of the fact that he can actually loom over anyone for once.]

Now I have to go back and get more tomatoes! Geeze. Why did you do that?!

[Why is this kid even talking to him? He should be wetting his pants and running for his mommy now, not... chasing him down and trying to intimidate him. Gromble rubs his forehead.]

This has to be some sort of dream. Did I get into some fresh produce...?

Uh, well the tomatoes were fresh.

[What's with this.. thing?]

What are you, anyway?

[Being asked what he is just insulting. The Gromble looms suddenly, tripling in size and screaming.]

A monster! I am a monster, you half-brained human!

Stop screaming!

[And there's Sola's fist aimed right for whatever part of Gromble he can still reach.]

I'm not a human, and if you scream again I'll kill you! Heroes kill monsters!

[Ugh, now he's still hearing ringing in his ears even after the screeching stopped.]

[He's prepared for violent outbursts, but he's too tired to dodge. Sola's hand would get coated with some particularly vile grime as the Gromble gasps, coughing out some particularly rank air.]

A - hero? There haven't been any of those for centuries!

Well there is now! There's lots of heroes here so stop being a jerk.

[He doesn't take his eyes off Gromble as he rubs his grimey hand absently on his tunic. What does he care about a little muck? He can just wash up later.]

Honestly, you're all so rude. When was the last time a monster killed a human, hmm? All we do is give you a good SCARE every now and then.

[He doesn't even have the gas for a good fireburp, so the Gromble can't do much more than scold Sola.]

Monsters kill people all the time on my world. I guess you could be a nice monster, if all you do is scare people. But the screeching hurts so don't do it.

[Or he'll punch you again.]

Oh, and I suppose the fact that your singing hurt my ears means nothing? You were so hideously on pitch! I had to cancel it out, I was getting an awful headache.

[Yes, he did say "on pitch".]

[Slooowww blink...]

Wait so...

...

You like it more like this?

[Sola takes a moment since he has to think about it, but the next thing that comes out of his mouth is a horrendously off-key string of la-la-las.]

Yes, exactly like that! It's horrible!

[And the Gromble sounds pleased about it. Genuinely pleased, not sarcastic in the least.]

Um... horrible's a good thing?

[Weiiiird.]

So bad things are good to you and good things are bad but you like horrible and hate nice?

I would not say I hate "nice", exactly. Monsters have relationships just like anyone else. We simply thrive in environments humans consider to be rank and fetid, and we enjoy smells and sounds that humans find abhorrent.

[Whoops, now he's educating on accident. He can't help it, he's a teacher.]

Oh! Well that works better, doesn't it? Because then you're not arguing over where to live since humans wouldn't want to live where you do and you don't want to live where humans do!

[Sounds like a good arrangement to him.]

But how come you tried to scare me?

[He's not entirely sure he wants to go into monster history with this kid, but if he's a hero, it would be best to let him know that the monsters mean no physical harm, right? If he's following a hero's ethic, then he won't be able to bring himself to hurt the monsters after he hears about it.]

Thousands of years ago, monsters were born from human imagination. Back then the human imagination was quite a powerful thing, you know. We hardly had to do any work at all. Unfortunately, humans now have become obsessed with science and refuse to openly believe in anything they don't understand. We monsters scare the humans to fuel their imagination, which in turn allows us to continue existing. It is absolutely against the monster code to physically harm a human, so a hero such as yourself has nothing to worry about.

[That should do it, he hopes.]

Really? Where I'm from monsters are made from magic or they just exist like animals and stuff do.

[He looks like he feels a bit better about this though.]

Everyone knows monsters exist though, so I don't think you need to worry too much. If it'll help, though, I can act really scared if you try and scare me again, just don't scream 'cause that really hurts.

[He twitches an ear to prove the point. Hylian hearing is pretty sensitive, y'know.]

I don't think that will be sufficient.

[SIGH. He can't take this anymore, now he's got a kid offering to ACT scared of him. It's time to find a dump and take a nap.]

At any rate, I won't hurt anyone, so if you don't mind I need to go find a dump or a sewer now.

Uh... I don't know about a dump, but there's a dumpster behind the grocery store that has rotten eggs sometimes. And the muck from the stables is pretty gross.

[He's trying to help, okay? :<]

I will find somewhere myself. That will be all, now.

[Please just let him leave, he can't take any more heroing.]

Oh, um... okay. Good luck!

Er, or bad luck, if that's what monsters say..?

[He's really not sure.

...

......

He's just gonna go now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Enter The Gromble

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject