vatheon | Because who wouldn't take advantage of John Egbert?

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Because who wouldn't take advantage of John Egbert?

Who: John, Rose and you!
When: Afternoon 11/26
Where: Around. Shopping for chocolate, maybe for clothes. In the public!
Status: Open!

[[Really, the entire situation was hilarious to her. She had no idea why it was happening, but Rose was not at all bothered by her boyfriend's hand being practically glued to her derriere. And she had no problem taking him out to go shopping like that too.

It was completely accidental on John's part too, which made it even better. John was far too easily flustered and shy to do more than dream of doing something like that at this point. No, he was just lucky enough to be stretching his arms out at nearly the exact same time Rose had gotten out of bed this morning. They'd been stuck fast ever since, and Rose had no problem with using to this to her advantage.

And that is why today you can find Rose in one of the many markets to be found, picking up mostly chocolate items, with John in tow.

While Rose appears calm as ever, John is...well, not. He keeps looking at various spots on the cieling, chewing slightly on his lower lip. Occasionally, he moves a little to try and make it seem less obvious that his right hand is basically glued to his girlfriend's ass, but that really just isn't working too well. His face is more than just a little pink at this point and wow this kid just really wants to go home.]]

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[Dave had considered getting a camera again, seeing as his old equipment and photos got cleaned out when he left. He was browsing about, and meant to greet Rose and John both, but stops.

He stares at them before snorting a bit.]

When you're copping a feel, you're supposed to try and be as unobvious as possible, dude.

[On the list of people John did not want to see until he could figure out a way to get unstuck, Dave was sitting pretty right up at the top. But let's face it, it was pretty much unavoidable since they kind of live together and all.]

[But A guy can hope, right? Hoping is free.]

Okay, first off: fuck you. Secondly: that's not what I'm doing, this happened completely by accident. And third: fuck you.

[[Rose, meanwhile, has no issues with Dave spotting them. Mostly because she knows something embarrassing will happen to him later and that offers the chance of sweet revenge.

Not that she's the one who needs it but eh.]]

You obviously need to give him a few lessons, Dave. Though really, it's not as if I mind the obviousness of this advance.

[[Hear that John? She doesn't mind how obvious you're being with your advance.]]

[Dave thinks this is the funniest shit, okay. He hasn't even considered how fucked he might be later. But, hey.

He's enjoying himself right now.]

Jesus fuck. T M I. I don't really need to know what you two are doing. [Wait...] Wait. Are you two like. [He's totally doing the finger in hole gesture.]

[[Just going to steal this answer before John has a chance to. Because this is just too good a chance to pass up.]]

Quite often, actually.

[[Never pass up a chance to let your brother think you're getting more than him. Never.]]

N-- ROSE!!

[And then John's face went from baby butt cheek pink to cherry red in under 10 seconds. Why didn't he get his answer out faster. Why!?]

No, it's not like that, we're not!!

Ugh! I've been sleeping on that bed.

[He doesn't care if you get more. He doesn't need more. He gets enough, okay.] Now I never want to lie on that bed again. God. Thanks for the nightmare fuel. Everytime I look at the bed, I'll remember that my best friend and my weird ectosister smanged and probably jizzed everywhere on it without telling anyone.

Oh my god, don't listen to her she's being weird as usual. We haven't done anything in that bed other than sleep in it, I swear!

[Dave. Dave are you really going to believe Rose over John? Really? Right in the kokoro.]

[Who likes chocolate? Karkat likes chocolate. It is sweet and enjoyable and probably not something you'd expect a species of vicious conquerors to enjoy, but trolls do a lot of unexpected things for that description. Hmm. This kind, with the almonds? He peers at a package--]

[--until he spots movement from the edge of his vision. Vatheon may be (mostly) safe, but instincts or ingrained self-concern tell him to look. Identifying them is not the problem. It's just, something's off about what he sees... and then he realizes where John's hand is going.]

Do you two have no concept of shame?

[He keeps from dropping the chocolates, but he can't stop his face from tinting pink.]

[[Rose merely snorts, continuing to survey her bag of chocolates.]]

Why ever are you asking me? After all, it's John who's hand is glued to my posterior.

Or are you asking me why I would take him shopping when our earlier...activities would be so apparent when he can't remove his hand?

[[And now comes the smirk. Honestly, Karkat, you're just going to make John's life a living hell. As much as she loves and respects him, she has neither for you, Mister.]]

[Hey, Rose. Hey. Hey. Guess what?]

[Fuck you too. Goddamn Strilondes.]

What, no! This was a complete accident, the only funny business going on here is a clearly a curse!

What are you two talking about?

[His posture eases, but his eyebrow raises in the same moment. This is the first he's heard of a curse.]

Don't try to play it off like this is some magical hand-on-ass curse. I don't care what you two do in private, but as you might have noticed, this is a public store. Say even your claim is right: what kind of exhibitionists go around with a hand stuck there?

[Seriously, you two. Seriously.]

[[She just chuckles, waving him over.]]

Trust me, it's a curse. Come on, just try and tug his hand away for him Karkat.

As for your question? How little you know about the human populace.

No don't! What if his hand gets stuck to mine?

[Sometimes, John has good ideas. Sometimes being the key word there.]

But I swear to you, Karkat, I am not making this up. My hand accidentally brushed against her this morning and I haven't been able to get it off since. [To demonstrate, he tries to pull his hand away. It's a spectacular failure and Rose's body just moves with him, despite the fact that John isn't so much holding her as his hand is just resting flat against her buttcheek.]

See?!

[Karkat is not also standing at a point to gawk at her butt. He's the one with class here, thank you.]

Stop yanking on her ass, John!

[You can bet he's blushing harder for that.]

And Rose, don't even try that argument. I have seen more than enough of your romance films and novels to know that this is not a normal human courtship practice, not to mention the actual humans I know here who have romantic partners. If public groping was part of it, trust me, I would know by now.

Just let her go, John.

Karkat honestly. Romance films and novels often only cater to a portion of their viewers. If you ever visit a high school, you'll understand that public displays of affection via groping or tonsil hockey are far more common than you might think.

[[Shhh we'll just pretend she doesn't get this information from the internet and not from experience.]]

He can't, Karkat.

[John pulls at his face a little with his free hand. Rose. You are not helping can we please just stop talking about this? Please?]

You are not going to win this argument with her Karkat, just don't even bother. So let me ask you something instead. Do you really think that if I had any choice in the matter that I would be standing here in the middle of a grocery store with my hand on questionable parts of my girlfriend's anatomy?

[Come on, man. He thought you knew him at least a little better than that!]

Tonsil what?

[What's a hockey?]

And if you're the one who can apparently yank her around by supposed curse shenanigans and bad luck, why would you have just followed her? Couldn't you have stayed where you are? Namely, not where people can see where it's stuck?

[With that note, his dubious glare swings to Rose.]

In any case, you hardly seem upset to be seen like this. How hard did you two try to get apart?

[He steps a bit closer, not yet touching either, but thinking on it. Maybe it's one of those things where you need a third party to unstick you. Maybe they just haven't used enough force. ~~Maybe it's just a stupid idea.~~]

Tonsil hockey. Making-out. And hard enough, I assure you. My hips are a little sore from the effort he was putting into it.

[[Nope, not shutting up.]]

[John opens his mouth to retort, to tell Karkat that, yes! He did try to get Rose to stay at home. But she was just having none of that and the lat thing he wanted to do was accidentally tear her in half with his stupidly high mangrit or something.]

[But when Rose makes that comment about sore hips, he just closes his mouth and puts his face in his hand, muttering.]

Oh my god, Rose, please just stop talking...

[Every time she opens her mouth, she just makes this worse. It's like she's doing it on purpose or something.]

[Karkat has outright given up on understanding the etymology of tonsil hockey, because Rose. Rose what. He may be gaping a little.]

[He shakes his head a moment later.]

You know what, I don't want to hear about it. But if you two pansy-ass humans can't do it yourself, I will get your separated, and we will all go on our merry and-or awful ways.

[And if the both of them will oblige, Karkat goes to walk around them, grab John by the forearm (carefully away from the booty) and Rose by the shoulder, and simply shove them apart. It can't be that difficult.]

[[Rose just watches Karkat with a very bemused look. Get ready to be disappointed, Karkat. Hopefully you don't get stuck too.]]

No, don--!

[Too late. Welp. Maybe, somehow, someway Karkat won't get stuck too but John is not holding his breath.]

[But as long as you're there, Karkat, you can see just how difficult it actually is. John's hand simply cannot be removed from that rump. It is like it is simultaneously magnetized and glued to that glute. There was a pun to be made in there somewhere, but let's just be glad I didn't.]

[Karkat doesn't bother to listen to John, even if he's too slow to properly warn him. He's going to do this, damnit. Even if they're stuck! Just... has to... pull more...]

Why won't this work?

[He shifts his position a bit - maybe it would be easier if he stands a bit to the side - and tries again. Push at Rose's shoulder, pull at John's arm... and obviously, no luck.]

Fine. You two are stuck and I'm done--

[And, finally, trying to pull his hands away does nothing either.]

Are you fucking kidding me?

Somehow "I told you so" doesn't seem like a fitting enough phrase for this.

[[But her chuckling certainly is, and she's going back to looking over the shelf in front of her like this is no big deal.]]

[What's that? John doesn't want to draw attention to the fact that his hand is adhered to a rather awkward part of Rose's anatomy?

It really is not his day, then. Because at some point, there's a loud wolf-whistle from nearby.]

[John sighs, not even bothering to turn around to see where that wolf whistle is coming from.]

Dammit, Dave. Didn't you get enough laughs in alre-- oh. [He probably should have turned around sooner, huh?] Wrong Strider.

[Not that it really changes his point much.]

[[Oh, hello there Dirk. Just going to give you a very casual wave.]]

And what brings you to the store today?

Errands, now that Jane's here.

[You probably wouldn't have seen him here before now.

But he'll take pity on John.]

This is a pretty inconvenient curse, all things considered.

Oh just the tiniest bit inconvenient, yeah. [Sarcasm.jpg] Especially since there was really no warning whatsoever.

[Checking the network before so much as BREATHING on Sundays from now on.]

I don't think it's that bad. [[SHRUG.]]

I take it she wants more than just orange soda in the house?

She wants to make a full five-course meal, is what she wants.

[He doesn't sound too put-out about that, though. There are restaurants in Vatheon, sure, and he and Roxy have definitely eaten at them, but there's a difference between restaurant food and home-cooked meals. The first time he and Roxy are eating something like that, and it's with their friends. Dirk is going to be making sure that it's suitably ironic, of course.]

What, you expect them to announce what exactly the curse is? And after they indicate it with glowing tattoos and everything.

Well no I don't expect them to announce it but...like... [What is he trying to say here?] Either somebody's bitching about it on the network or it's something really obvious that you can't NOT notice when you first wake up, you know? And i can't even see my tattoo, I had no idea they glow when there's about to be a curse!

[Basically: Vatheon pranked them all and somebody's a little buttmad.]

John has a point. It's not very fair assuming we all can see our tattoos. I can see mine, of course, but that's neither here nor there really.

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Because who wouldn't take advantage of John Egbert?

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tagging order will be dave > john > rose c:

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Tagging order will be Karkat > Rose > John u u

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tagging order will be dirk > john > rose :3

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