vatheon | Because who wouldn't take advantage of John Egbert?

Who: John, Rose and you!
When: Afternoon 11/26
Where: Around. Shopping for chocolate, maybe for clothes. In the public!
Status: Open!

[[Really, the entire situation was hilarious to her. She had no idea why it was happening, but Rose was not at all bothered by her boyfriend's hand being practically glued to her derriere. And she had no problem taking him out to go shopping like that too.

It was completely accidental on John's part too, which made it even better. John was far too easily flustered and shy to do more than dream of doing something like that at this point. No, he was just lucky enough to be stretching his arms out at nearly the exact same time Rose had gotten out of bed this morning. They'd been stuck fast ever since, and Rose had no problem with using to this to her advantage.

And that is why today you can find Rose in one of the many markets to be found, picking up mostly chocolate items, with John in tow.

While Rose appears calm as ever, John is...well, not. He keeps looking at various spots on the cieling, chewing slightly on his lower lip. Occasionally, he moves a little to try and make it seem less obvious that his right hand is basically glued to his girlfriend's ass, but that really just isn't working too well. His face is more than just a little pink at this point and wow this kid just really wants to go home.]]

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[[She just chuckles, waving him over.]]

Trust me, it's a curse. Come on, just try and tug his hand away for him Karkat.

As for your question? How little you know about the human populace.

No don't! What if his hand gets stuck to mine?

[Sometimes, John has good ideas. Sometimes being the key word there.]

But I swear to you, Karkat, I am not making this up. My hand accidentally brushed against her this morning and I haven't been able to get it off since. [To demonstrate, he tries to pull his hand away. It's a spectacular failure and Rose's body just moves with him, despite the fact that John isn't so much holding her as his hand is just resting flat against her buttcheek.]

See?!

[Karkat is not also standing at a point to gawk at her butt. He's the one with class here, thank you.]

Stop yanking on her ass, John!

[You can bet he's blushing harder for that.]

And Rose, don't even try that argument. I have seen more than enough of your romance films and novels to know that this is not a normal human courtship practice, not to mention the actual humans I know here who have romantic partners. If public groping was part of it, trust me, I would know by now.

Just let her go, John.

Karkat honestly. Romance films and novels often only cater to a portion of their viewers. If you ever visit a high school, you'll understand that public displays of affection via groping or tonsil hockey are far more common than you might think.

[[Shhh we'll just pretend she doesn't get this information from the internet and not from experience.]]

He can't, Karkat.

[John pulls at his face a little with his free hand. Rose. You are not helping can we please just stop talking about this? Please?]

You are not going to win this argument with her Karkat, just don't even bother. So let me ask you something instead. Do you really think that if I had any choice in the matter that I would be standing here in the middle of a grocery store with my hand on questionable parts of my girlfriend's anatomy?

[Come on, man. He thought you knew him at least a little better than that!]

Tonsil what?

[What's a hockey?]

And if you're the one who can apparently yank her around by supposed curse shenanigans and bad luck, why would you have just followed her? Couldn't you have stayed where you are? Namely, not where people can see where it's stuck?

[With that note, his dubious glare swings to Rose.]

In any case, you hardly seem upset to be seen like this. How hard did you two try to get apart?

[He steps a bit closer, not yet touching either, but thinking on it. Maybe it's one of those things where you need a third party to unstick you. Maybe they just haven't used enough force. ~~Maybe it's just a stupid idea.~~]

Tonsil hockey. Making-out. And hard enough, I assure you. My hips are a little sore from the effort he was putting into it.

[[Nope, not shutting up.]]

[John opens his mouth to retort, to tell Karkat that, yes! He did try to get Rose to stay at home. But she was just having none of that and the lat thing he wanted to do was accidentally tear her in half with his stupidly high mangrit or something.]

[But when Rose makes that comment about sore hips, he just closes his mouth and puts his face in his hand, muttering.]

Oh my god, Rose, please just stop talking...

[Every time she opens her mouth, she just makes this worse. It's like she's doing it on purpose or something.]

[Karkat has outright given up on understanding the etymology of tonsil hockey, because Rose. Rose what. He may be gaping a little.]

[He shakes his head a moment later.]

You know what, I don't want to hear about it. But if you two pansy-ass humans can't do it yourself, I will get your separated, and we will all go on our merry and-or awful ways.

[And if the both of them will oblige, Karkat goes to walk around them, grab John by the forearm (carefully away from the booty) and Rose by the shoulder, and simply shove them apart. It can't be that difficult.]

[[Rose just watches Karkat with a very bemused look. Get ready to be disappointed, Karkat. Hopefully you don't get stuck too.]]

No, don--!

[Too late. Welp. Maybe, somehow, someway Karkat won't get stuck too but John is not holding his breath.]

[But as long as you're there, Karkat, you can see just how difficult it actually is. John's hand simply cannot be removed from that rump. It is like it is simultaneously magnetized and glued to that glute. There was a pun to be made in there somewhere, but let's just be glad I didn't.]

[Karkat doesn't bother to listen to John, even if he's too slow to properly warn him. He's going to do this, damnit. Even if they're stuck! Just... has to... pull more...]

Why won't this work?

[He shifts his position a bit - maybe it would be easier if he stands a bit to the side - and tries again. Push at Rose's shoulder, pull at John's arm... and obviously, no luck.]

Fine. You two are stuck and I'm done--

[And, finally, trying to pull his hands away does nothing either.]

Are you fucking kidding me?

Somehow "I told you so" doesn't seem like a fitting enough phrase for this.

[[But her chuckling certainly is, and she's going back to looking over the shelf in front of her like this is no big deal.]]

Because who wouldn't take advantage of John Egbert?

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