vatheon | Let there be, let there always be

Who: Signless and various campers
When: five days after drowning, early afternoon
Where: the Plaza
Style: action jackson
Status: semi-open to close CR; the video part is open to everyone!

Signless is dreaming. He's dreaming, and it's beautiful. He's surrounded by the neverending light, surrounded and engulfed by it, but there is no fear. How can he be afraid when surrounded by such vast, indescribable beauty?

Nor is he alone; he can feel them with him, all the friends he's known and lost along the way. Sometimes they stay beside him for a time, dancing next to him and sharing a beam of light; others slip past shyly, brushing against him and then disappearing. Disciple is there, and Lulu as well, and if Psii were there with them, they would be complete.

But the light begins to fade, and though he is sorry to lose it, he understands. It's not his time, not yet his turn, and he sinks willingly into the darkness, watching the neverending light as it retreats and glimmers into nothingness.

He opens his eyes.

It doesn't take him long to recognize the dome above Vatheon, and he sits up, looking around him. He's not surprised to see that some of his friends have gathered there with him.

"Hey. What's going on?"

~*~A few hours later, open to everyone!~*~

[The video feed clicks on, and there's Signless, brought back by Vatheon's miracles. He's sitting somewhere with his back to the bubble, tropical fish swimming and darting behind him, and someone has taken the time to weave him a crown of flowers, which almost completely hides his nubby horns. His expression is serious, as is his voice.]

Vatheon, I am back. I'm aware that there has been some fighting and violence regarding my death. Let me say, here and now, that what happened was an accident. Dualscar did nothing wrong, and should not have been held responsible. Anyone who would further trouble him about these happenings should first come and see me, because if anyone persists in bothering him will find they have a problem with me as well.

Leave him alone.

But yes, I am back. I missed you, Vatheon, and I'm very grateful to have another chance to be with you all.

[He looks into the video feed, like he wants to say more, then shuts it off.]

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Plea2e?

[ It's a short message, but that has everything to do with the fact that he's going to go there immediately. it isn't hard to cover the distance given that he's capable of flight. ]

I'LL BE WAITING

[And sure enough, by the time Psii flies to the roof of the apartment building, Signless is already up there, sitting on a blanket and waiting. Tea things are arranged before him, and the bees, well used to his presence, buzz happily back and forth.]

[ When he finally arrives, he simply sinks down onto the blanket, but not quite where he would normally settle himself. No, he's sitting opposite Signless, and he ducks his head down, bringing his knees up to his chest in a familiar scrunched up position that he's learned to adopt here in Vatheon. ]

[What is this silliness?]

[Signless doesn't hesitate; he rocks up onto his knees and reaches across the blanket, trying to pull Psii into an embrace.]

It's good to see you again, my friend.

[ Psii tumbles when he's tugged, but, as he falls against Signless, he suddenly wraps his arms around him. The embrace is characteristically weak, but the gesture is nonetheless filled with a sudden desperate fervor. He needs this contact. ]

I am thorry. I am, I...

Shhhhh, Psii, why are you even apologizing? Shoosh, it's okay, I'm here now...

[Signless holds Psii back with the same fervor, tucking his head against his shoulder and combing his fingers through his hair.]

I'm so sorry I left you alone. I promise not to do that again, not if I can do anything to help it.

[ He wants to find comfort in that promise, but he knows well enough that it isn't so easy. Anything could take Signless away from him--the random sleep that befell people, an accident, or maybe one day he would disappear altogether.

He'd rebuilt his life based on his savior, and he wasn't prepared to lose him even temporarily. ]

I--

[ He chokes up, burying his face against him. But he had to say, he had to admit what he had done. His SFC comes floating up, shaking. ]

When you were gone

II triied two hurt other2.

[Before he answers, Signless plucks Psii's SFC out of the air and, without removing his arms from around his friends, carefully reprograms it so it will type in yellow again.]

I know. Darkleer and Sollux told me. But they also told me you calmed down and didn't.

IIt diid not abate my want.

[ And that was the crux of his problem. He was suffering through experiences he had never had before, and they terrified him. ]

II wanted two make hiim hurt.

But you didn't. You controlled yourself and left him alone.

Everyone feels like that sometimes, Psii. The trick is knowing when to act on it, and when to leave it alone.

II do not know how!!
II cannot 2top feeliing anger

and fear.
II do not want to lo2e you.
II do not want hiim two take you from me agaiin.
He take2 and de2troy2

that ii2 hii2 only capabiiliity.

Shhhhhh. There's no need to be angry now. I'm back, and I'm not angry, not with him or you or anyone. It's okay to be angry sometimes, Psii, but you need to learn to let it go.

[Signless starts stroking his hands down Psii's back, starting at the nape of his neck and moving in long, slow motions down to hips. He keeps repeating the gestures, over and over.]

Let it go, Psii... let the anger just roll away...

[ His psionic grip on the SFC slips rather abruptly as Signless's warm hand slowly strokes down his back. It is a soft familiarity that he had feared he no longer deserved, but gentle words and actions show him that maybe he was mistaken.

But it is still so hard to let that anger go. ]

Mm... [ His voice is shaking when he gives speaking another shot. ] I- I will try.

That's all I ask, my dearest friend.

[Signless keeps stroking his back, keeps up the casual, gentle touching for which he is so well known.]

It was an accident, you know. Dualscar didn't mean what he did.

I knew. I knew it had not been deliberate.

So you believed him, but you wanted to hurt him anyway.

[It's not accusatory, the way Signless speaks; he's simply stating a fact.]

Why?

I do not want him... to take anymore.

[ His words are more halting than is characteristic, as if he is making an admission unwillingly. But he owes Signless an explanation. He knows that much. ]

He would never thtop. He never thtopth taking. Dethtroying. Jutht by hith being...

[As Signless listens, he never stops touching Psii, never breaks contact with him.]

Perhaps. But every troll deserves a chance to change, don't they? A chance to become who they would be in the neverending light?

[A soft, sad smile.]

After all, there are those who would say I don't deserve to live, that my life is nothing but a blight on the hemospectrum.

He ith why I am incapable of...

[ Of what? Of everything? Could he even say that? He trails off for a moment before starting again. ]

Can he change?

[This is what makes this so hard for Signless: he knows Dualscar is responsible for breaking Psii, for turning him into the Helmsman, and his arms tighten around his friend.]

You're changing, Psii. Every day, you're getting a little better, gaining more autonomy and becoming who you were meant to be. [who you used to be] Everyone can change, given the chance.

Let there be, let there always be

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