vatheon | Pale Date

Entry tags:

Pale Date

Who: Orphaner Dualscar and Signless
Where: Dualscar's hive at Larmline apartments
When: Late at night, a couple of days after the boat party
Style: Whatever Kath wants, I guess!
Status: Closed

Dualscar sits on his sofa, holding his SFC, and waiting for his moirail to arrive. As often happened, this had started with him coming to Signless of his own emotional theatrics. But tonight, it seemed to have turned down some very unintended pathways, and he was worried about Signless' state of mind.

Was Signless finally angry at him over the things he had done to his friends? Maybe he should have refused to answer those questions. That might have been the more sensitive thing to do.

He offered for Signless to come over so he could cuddle him and soothe away his negative feelings. That was what moirails were for, right? And he was determined to show himself a good, and capable moirail.

But he wasn't entire sure what was about to come through his door.

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Signless lets Dualscar carry him, going limp and boneless in his arms, but he balks when Dualscar starts trying to strip him down.

"What are you doing?" He'll cooperate for the cloak, but Dualscar's going to meet some resistance if he tries to take off his tights. That's not what moirails do, buddy! Wrong quadrant!

"Gettin' you wwet," Dualscar growls, giving up on the leggings. He doesn't know how to comfort Signless, at all. But he knows what comforts him, and so his only thought is to put Signless in the water, the only comforting embrace Dualscar's ever known.

He pulls off his own shirt and then picks Signless up again, setting him in the water in Dualscar's lap once more.

When he's feeling a little better, Signless will figure that out himself, but for now, he's not quite sure why Dualscar is putting him in the tub. But all right, he'll roll with it, and he curls against the larger troll, leaning against his bare chest with a sigh. He's not actively sobbing anymore, but tears still leak down his face.

Signless is no longer sobbing, so Dualscar must be doing something right. He leans back, sinks down until the water is lapping at their shoulders, and strokes Signless' hair and back, crooning a little wordless noise he learned from his lusus.

It's frightening. He's not sure if he's really fixing anything. Surely this is something that can't be fixed. But he wants to fix it more than just about anything else.

"I wwas wwrong to tell you that you wwere wwrong to drag your friends into the revvolution, before," he murmurs. "You did a lot a things... I don't knoww wwhat I wwould a done in your place. It's a hard thing, bein' you. I don't knoww howw you do it."

That is... some unexpected and almost painful honesty from Dualscar, and Signless looks up at him, soothed by both the gentle touching and the noises Dualscar was making. Later, he'll ask if that's what Dualscar's lusus sounded like, but right now, he's going to focus in on the other issues.

"I don't know how to be anyone except me. I just... if I could do it again, knowing how it all ends, I would do things so differently."

It was painful to say, too, but Dualscar feels a little better for saying it. And it seems to have reassured Signless a little, since he's talking again. Progress.

"Wwhat wwould you do differently?" he asks, honestly curious for the answer.

"I'd go slower. I wouldn't push as hard as I did; I'd try to take more time." Long, shuddering sigh. "I'd try to work more with the highbloods, especially the ones that tried to meet us halfway. I was just... I was so scared for my friends. Especially for Psii. I didn't... I didn't want him to commissioned."

The way Signless rattles all that off, quickly and without taking time to think, indicates that he's thought about this before.

"Fool," Dualscar says affectionately. "Wwhat good wwould that havve done? The outcome wwould havve been the same, only maybe a little later. And perhaps wwithout the same momentum, wwhich wwas so threatening to Her. Wwhich only means you'd havve reached fewwer."

He falls silent, frowning as he realizes that his remarks definitely constitute treason. But isn't sitting here in this pool with the Signless treason in itself?

Pretty sure Dualscar has done a number of things in Vatheon that constitute treason, but who is keeping track?

Signless frowns and puts his head back on Dualscar's chest, looking moodily at the water. "I don't know. It's just... seeing what happened to my friends, to my family, after it was all over... I think maybe I was the lucky one. All I had to do was die. They had to keep living."

No one but Dualscar, at the moment.

"You wwere the lucky one," Dualscar agrees softly. He tightens his arms around Signless. "But noww you're lucky again, havvin' them back and them not hating you. Isn't that good, to be lucky?"

Signless, in turn, leans heavily on Dualscar, holding him back just as tightly.

"It's more than I deserve."

Dualscar chews on his lower lip. "You have all kinds a wweird ideas about wwhat people deservve."

"Yeah?" Signless squirms a bit, so he's looking up at Dualscar. "What do you think I deserve?"

"Yeah, like sayin' that I deservve better than Her Imperious Condescension." He's still trying to get over that one, and work it through in his brain.

He falls silent for a few moments, thinking. "I think... you deservve some fuckin' happiness. Since it's so important to you. You can't be a proper troll, so fuck that... just stay here wwith your friends and out a trouble, and be happy."

"You do deserve better than her." Why can't Dualscar see it? He deserves someone who will pity him back and care for him just for him, instead of for what kind of political alliance the relationship can bring.

At that second comment, Signless almost smiles, and reaches up to gently stroke one of the seadweller's fins. "Thank you, Dualscar."

"There's nothin' better than her, unless you expect me to go flushed for Feferi." He snorts. He and Feferi are getting along worse and worse the more he tries to fix things between them, and he's really at a loss, there.

His eyes half-lid and he makes a little 'murr'ing sound, his fins flaring under the attention. In response he lifts a hand to touch one of Signless' horns again, though he's gentle and tentative, remembering that he didn't like that the last time.

"Do you feel better?"

Signless huffs quietly at that, but it's not worth getting into an argument over. At least Dualscar has acknowledged that the Condesce wasn't any good for him.

And when Dualscar goes to touch his horn, Signless allows it, since there's nothing predatory or claiming about this touch. It's shy and gentle and the way moirails are supposed to touch each other, and he hums under his breath before tilting his head forward, rubbing his horn into Dualscar's hand.

"Yes. Thank you for listening."

Okay, that's a lot better than before, and considering that Signless is always pawing his fins it really wasn't fair that he wouldn't let Dualscar touch his sensitive spots. He smiles contentedly and rubs the little stunted nubs.

"Wwell, that's wwhat I'm supposed to be here for," he says archly. "You can come to me first, you knoww."

"In the future, I will."

Signless rubs the end of his horn into Dualscar's palm, and traces diamond shapes across the seadweller's chest with his free hand.

Oh wow, that's cute. Suddenly, and really for the first time, Dualscar is struck by how incredibly young Signless must be. He's really not much older than the wigglers, is he?

He huffs a soft chuckle and draws a diamond on Signless' chest as well.

"Wwiggler."

Rude! He is a troll grown at sixteen sweeps, all right!

Signless laughs quietly and paps Dualscar on the nose. "Shush, old man." Then he falls quiet for a moment before asking, "How old are you, anyway?"

"I'm wwell ovver three hundred swweeps," Dualscar says casually, as if that's not a really ridiculously long time. He paps Signless on the top of the head, then goes back to rubbing his horn gently. "Do I wwant to knoww howw young you are?"

Signless' mind boggles, but not for the reasons Dualscar might think. Signless knows that highbloods live much longer than lowbloods, and that three hundred really isn't that old for a seadweller, or even a troll of Darkleer's or the Grand Highblood's caste. What gives him pause is thinking about how lonely Dualscar must have been, and for so long, and he nuzzles closer, taking his hand off Dualscar's fin and putting both arms around his neck.

"I'm sixteen." And even if he hadn't been moment away from execution, he probably wouldn't have gotten much older than that naturally.

Dualscar winces. A full adult, of course, but so very, very young compared to him. He barely even remembers being sixteen sweeps. He was definitely in the military by then, training hard, his entire being focused on staying alive and outperforming all the other young sea dwellers so he could be chosen for higher positions.

He puts his arms around Signless again, his wind tube closing. He's going to live for so long. Perhaps he'll do so here. But Signless can't possibly survive for even a fraction of his lifespan. He's a mutant. Perhaps he won't even survive another sweep, even though his execution had been stayed.

"Howw...howw old do you think a troll like you might livve?" he asks, trying to sound casual about it and failing miserably. Signless can't possibly know, and even if he does, the answer won't be long enough.

Signless hears the change in tone, and he holds Dualscar a little tighter. He knows they're both thinking the same thing, and this conversation has suddenly taken a turn towards the bleak and depressing.

"I don't know." He looks up, trying to smile and be brave for the seadweller. "But if I have a choice, I'm not going anywhere."

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pretty sure I saw a porno once that started this way

Bow chika wow wow~

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Dualscar, you are a cradle robber

But their love is pure and transcends age

stop trying to make excuses for being a pale cougar!