vatheon | Coming Apart

Entry tags:

Coming Apart

Who: Zelda and Shizuo
Where: Shizuo's apartment
When: After getting Link settled, April 2nd
Style: FEELS
Status: Closed

Zelda wasn't even thinking anymore as she forced her way into Shizuo's apartment. It had been closer than her home, and the only safe place that came to mind when she suddenly became violently ill. Holding back her distress in front of Link had taken quite a toll on the princess, and she couldn't do it any longer. With no semblance of dignity whatsover she braced herself over his kitchen sink, shaking and breaking out into a cold sweat with the effort of not emptying the contents of her stomach into it right then and there.

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Shizuo was sitting on his couch, watching a movie. It may have taken him a couple of months, but he was finally getting more comfortable with the free aspect of Vatheon life. Slowly but surely, he was building up a movie collection, keeping them on a shelf next to his television. Ponyo had been playing for a good thirty minutes, when Zelda burst into his apartment.

At the sound of the abrupt entry, Shizuo stood, ready for a confrontation with whomever was stupid enough to break into his place. As soon as he saw Zelda, however, he calmed and watched her run into his kitchen. Concerned, he went to her, hesitating briefly - wondering if he should give her space or touch her - before putting what he hoped was a comforting hand on her back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, a little intensely. Seeing Zelda like that was very unsettling.

She was unable to continue holding it back. Thankfully, she hadn't eaten much that day. The princess had awoken with a sense of foreboding and had spent most of the day in the plaza. Eating had not been one of her concerns. She turned on the faucet, taking a quick sip of water and allowing the sink to drain.

"Link... arrived today. Not the one from the past. My Link." Her voice sounded hollow, broken even. There was more to it than that, but she couldn't bring herself to say it - she couldn't say that he had died.

Shizuo kept his hand on her back, rubbing small circles. He didn't have a lot of faith in his ability to be comforting, but wanted to try for Zelda's sake. He said nothing until she was done and finally able to talk.

He nodded. He had seen the network post, and had been somewhat confused, but he got the gist - that there was another Link at Vatheon. He hadn't known it was Zelda's Link, though - and the way she was talking about it, his arrival hadn't exactly been a good thing.

"He made a network post," he said, to explain how he knew. He didn't saying anything beyond that - trying to give Zelda the time she needed to say more - or not, if she didn't want to. Shizuo wouldn't press - he'd be there for her whether she wanted to explain the situation in full or not.

"I know. I taught him how to do it." She raised her head, turning to look at Shizuo. Her eyes were curiously devoid of any light. She should explain herself, otherwise Shizuo might ask Link - and that was the last thing she wanted. She didn't want Link to have to tell anyone else that he had died.

"...he came here after his death..."

Shizuo hated seeing Zelda like this - broken and sick. That look in her eyes bothered him a lot, though he was careful to stay impassive, not wanting to exasperate the situation. Now that Zelda was a little grounded again, he dropped his hand and took a small step back to give her a little space.

"Oh." He understood, then, why she was upset. Despite his ineloquent utterance, he wasn't taking the situation lightly. He wanted to tell Zelda not to worry, that it wasn't her fault, but he knew that those words wouldn't be helpful - they were meaningless, and Shizuo knew that they wouldn't change the way Zelda felt. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, wishing he could come up with something more comforting.

"Sorry?" She repeated numbly. The only one who should be sorry here was her. She was the one who had overreacted to the warning from the goddesses, she was the one who had opened the Sacred Realm and let Ganondorf in. She was the one who split the timeline, the one who had waited for the hero to awaken the Sages instead of doing it herself, and the one who had ultimately led him to his death.

"No. Don't be. I should..." Her voice cracked right along with her demeanor. "I should be! I'm supposedly a goddess, after all! I should have known what to do with those visions! Damn it all!"

Slamming both fists into the counter repeatedly, she continued to curse everything inside her mind before letting out an angered cry.

"Damn it..."

"Zelda," Shizuo said, voice soft but with a hint of firmness in it. He reached to gently grab her fists to keep herself from continuing to hit them into the counter. "You're going to hurt yourself."

Shizuo knew that he could never fully comprehend the weight that existed on Zelda's shoulders. He didn't know anything about being royalty, heroes, or the responsibility that came with it all, but he did know that Zelda was being really harsh on herself.

"You're being too hard on yourself. It doesn't matter what or who you are, everyone makes mistakes. You did what you thought was best - I know you did - that is what matters." Shizuo didn't have the full story, but he felt as though he didn't need the finer details to be confident in this opinion.

Being touched again startled her out of her anger, leaving behind nothing but an empty void of loss. Link didn't deserve to die like that. Not Link. He'd entered her life just like the ray of light that had pierced through the storm clouds in the dream that she'd had predicting his arrival, and he had been her light ever since. Inside Sheik she had watched as Link matured but never lost his childish sense of wonder, never let go of his innocence or his belief that everything would work out in the end. When he believed, she believed as well. He was Link, the hero of legend, her savior and the person closest to her heart. To think that there was actually a world where he had lost to that disgusting monster...

She didn't even notice when the tears started running down her cheeks, she just stared up at Shizuo helplessly, pleading silently for him to tell her that all of this wasn't real.

Shizuo couldn't tell her that it wasn't real, as much as he wanted to make Zelda feel better. Maybe there was a chance that it wasn't - maybe it there existed a possibility that it was Vatheon playing a cruel joke on her - but Shizuo wouldn't offer her any false hope, only to have it get crushed later on. When Zelda started crying, he let go of her hands and pulled her in for a hug. He wished that this were a problem he could fix by going and beating someone up for her, or hassling the object of her pain, but that wouldn't fix anything. It certainly wouldn't make her feel better.

After a moment, he spoke up again. "Maybe Vatheon can be a good second-chance for him," he suggested, voice low. "He might have died back in your world, but he isn't dead here. He can start over here, now. And live."

She nodded as she succumbed to entirely graceless tears, hiccuping and shaking against him. Vatheon could be a second chance, but only if they could figure out how it worked. If not, he might be sent back home someday and die all over again.

Could she even figure it out? Should she try? It was her meddling that had brought his death about in the first place. If her poking around the city somehow caused it to retaliate and got Link hurt again, she would never forgive herself. Truthfully, she knew that she already couldn't. She buried her face in Shizuo's chest and finally let herself cry it all out - for her father, for Hyrule, for all her people who had died during those seven years, for Impa and the Sages, for Sheik, and now for Link, lost to her in more ways than one.

Shizuo held Zelda as she cried, trying to offer her strength as best he could - by being someone she could lean on, and be weak with, for however long she needed. He said nothing for the duration, merely patting and rubbing her back and letting her get it all out. In the background, the movie was still playing, but he didn't pay attention to it. He just focused on trying to soothe Zelda.

She calmed down by the end of the movie, pulling away and wiping at her swollen eyes. It still hurt more than she could have ever imagined anything hurting, but she could think clearly again. And she knew what she had to do. It was her fault that this Link had died, but she couldn't let it happen again. She had to keep studying Vatheon, had to figure it out and make it a place that people like Link and Sola could live for as long as they needed to. It was for her own sake as much as it was for her friends - she couldn't imagine forgetting Shizuo and Zelos and the awkward, familial relationship they shared, or Signless and all the things he had taught her, or even Lysunder and his infuriating flirting. She didn't want to forget anyone.

"Thank you, Shizuo. I apologize for that... display. I know what to do, now." She squeezed his arm before stepping away, bowing her head gratefully.

"You don't need to apologize," Shizuo replied. He never would have wished for Zelda to be so upset, but he was glad that she felt comfortable enough to go to him. He just hoped he had given her the support she needed. "That's what I'm here for." He meant it, too. Zelda was family to him, and families helped each other out. Not to mention, Zelda had seen him through some of his worse moments.

"I'm glad you're feeling a little better." He wouldn't press her about her plans, unless she wanted to discuss them.

She nodded. It was why Shizuo was here. They were family, now. "I'll be gone for a few days. I need... to think about all of this. Vatheon's hold on all of us is far to unpredictable. I can't let Link go back home to his death. I won't do it. I'll find a way to make this place open - so that the people who want to stay here can stay, and the people that want to return home can return. Without forgetting what they've learned here."

She smiled at him, then started for the door. She could do this. She just needed to stop being a slave to her own feelings, first. And for that, she would need to be alone.

"Okay," Shizuo said with a nod. He understood the need for space. "Just be careful, and let me know if you need anything." He knew that Zelda could take care of herself, but in the event that she needed help, he'd be there.

"I will. On both counts. Also... Link is in this apartment complex. Do treat him kindly if he burns down his kitchen or something like that, alright? He is a child on the inside, I'm afraid."

She didn't say as much, but she'd chosen to bring Link here because part of her felt like she could trust the bodyguard with her friend, even with Izaya in the equation. Maybe it was a mistake, but she hoped that it wasn't.

"Okay. I will." Shizuo did not like the idea of Link coming and telling Zelda he had died and making her break like he did - whether it was rational or not, he did blame him for it, at least in part. But if Zelda wanted him to look out for Link, then he would. If she cared about him, Shizuo could set those other feeling aside.

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Coming Apart

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