01; how to ruin a cake

[longwinded]

Characters: Jade Harley ( frogs ) , John Egbert (longwinded ), and later on Dave Strider (knightime )
Location: Coral Corral 6
Time: March 7th around 3pm.
Style: Action.
Status: Closed.


[John had never been so disgust ridden in his life! What was this that sat on the counter? It was the batterwitch herself, invading his new home and violating his kitchen. From the looks of it, the preheat had not yet went off and there were still ingredients on the counter. So what would John do with this completely open opportunity to mess with the batter.

He reaches for the flour, pouring more into the cake. the cake would turn out absolutely gross and chalky after that. But was he done? Of course not. One could never mess with enough cake. Reaching right into the cabinet, John takes down the salt and liberally ours some into the batter. Oh also at this point, the preheat may be notched up to almost 450 degrees. Wouldn't want out cake perfectly done, would we?

After his little excursion with the cake, he waits for who he think ill be Dave walking back in here to put it in the oven. Ironic people bake, right?] 

Comments

[frogs]

[As she will discover shortly. For now she thinks her cake is baking happy in the oven as she turns to him.]

There's a music shop here? That's great! I will have to go check it out sometime.

[Jade would love it.]

I don't think Dave would mind. He likes music more than both of us combine, I think.

[longwinded]

[Jade, his Gambit is rising with the cake, I do hope you know!]

It was also really early in the morning, is Dave a morning person? [Ahahaha, John is chuckling so nervously right now.]

Let's take a trip to the shop some time this week! [They could get Jade a bass, and then she wouldn't be mad at John for what she was going to discover in exactly twenty-two minutes and twelve seconds!]

[frogs]

[She will take that gambit and break it over your head, John. >O]

Oooh. Hmm... You know, I am not sure. I'm going to guess no. [He seems like one of those people who would sleep until one in the afternoon or something. But she didn't know for sure. She supposed she would find out now that they all lived together.]

That would be great! Maybe we could find new music for you to play, too.

[And then the oven explodes.

Well. It's not really a KABOOM! explosion so much but it does rumble and make a weird POP! from within as the cake, over saturated with the ingredients John poured in, does literally explode inside.]

Wha--?!

[longwinded]

[Would this be a good time for John to run quite far away? Would it? Because he's probably (no he really is) laughing at the table as he hears the cake pop from inside the oven. This was probably the most hilarious prank he's ever went and pulled one someone.

He doesn't even remember the fact that Jade is probably going to be quite angry at him for doing what he just did. Also the fact that he pretty much just gave himself away by the laughter.]

Jade, I think something is the matter in the oven. [GIGGLE....[]

[frogs]

[Oooooh no. You don't fool her for one second, John Egbert. YOU CAN'T PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER HER EYES.

Hastily Jade turns off the oven and opens it. She is greeted with a billowing cloud of grey smoke and a cake that pretty much oozed all over the oven. Guess who is cleaning the oven? NOT JADE. :| She rounds on him.]

John! What did you do?!

[longwinded]

Me?

[John is trying to tiptoe out of the room. His efforts nbow have him peeking from around the corner. Oh boy- so this WAS Jade making a cake. He is in so much ectosibling trouble right now.]

Well, you see what happened was that I thought I was tampering with a cake Dave was making.

[frogs]

[She drops her hands to her hips and just glowers at him.]

You thought Dave would bake a cake? [Dave probably can't even use the microwave.]

[longwinded]

Well, I thought so since this IS his house!

[No stop that glowering, it's kind of scary! John just, steps back into the kitchen stands there, looking like a kicked puppy.]

[frogs]

It's our house.

[JEEZ John. All three of them own this place! Also she will grab a handful of flour and THROW IT IN YOUR FACE so there.]

Don't mess with my cooking again!

[longwinded]

[Oh it is ON. He picks up two handfulls of flour and CHUCKS IT AT HER FACE TOO. HA JADE!]

So we're playing like this huh? I'll mess with it again if I want to!

[frogs]

[AAHHH FLOUR EVERYWHERE

She coughs and waves the flour "smoke" from her face.]

Hey! Oh no you won't! [grabs the WHOLE BAG and chucks it. Yeah, take that!]

[longwinded]

[So John hits it in midair, and there is flour going everywhere now. Holy shit this kitchen is now white. DAVE IS GOING TO BE SO MAD AT THEM.]

Jade! [John can't say anything else, he's spitting flour out of his mouth. Ew ew ew ew.]

[frogs]

[omg everything is white including her and her clothes. everything is terrible.]

Ack! John! Why did you make it explode like that?!

[it is YOUR FAULT, JOHN!]

[knightime]

[Surprisingly enough. Had Dave been home, he would have ran into the kitchen as soon as he heard the cake explosion.

No. He was actually out getting more juice. They ran out. Alongside, he went to go buy other things they can shove in the refrigerator. He wasn't exactly a cooking genius, but he wasn't that hopeless. He at least could stock up on cereal and he knew how to make bitchin' pancakes. And a few meat dishes. Surprise, Dave sucks at cooking vegetables.

However...] What the fuck? [He doesn't even have anything else to say.] I can go out and just pick up flour seeing as you guys apparently used it all...up. Is this some Prospit sibling kink or something?

I guess tagging order can be Dave->John-Jade now. SOB.

[longwinded]

[IT WAS ALL JADE'S FAULT. Just as Dave is walking back in John is like dumping some flour from the floor onto Jade's head. But he claps his hands over his mouth at the sound of Dave's voice.

Oh

shit

oh

um

how to explain what went on here.]

Jade is awful at taking jokes Dave. [WHOA KINK?] No, ew Dave! She got mad at me and threw the bag of flour at me.

works for me!

[frogs]

[Jade swats John across the back of his head angrily, shaking her head and coughing at the flour everywhere.]

He ruined my cake! It exploded in the oven and now I'll have to clean it!

[JERK.

Also simmer down, Dave.

Jade takes a handful of the flour and ruffles John's hair with it. Ha!]

.../covers face with hands

[knightime]

[He just leans against the doorframe, paper bag still in his arms.]

Okay, first of all. That's fucked up John. Just because you have some personal vendetta against cakes doesn't mean you have to force your no cake tyranny on us.

Second of all, what the fuck.

Third. What the fuck.

How does ruining a cake suddenly result in covering the entire kitchen with flour? You guys look like white decided to ejaculate all over you two. It's like God got really horny. Let there be cum. Or something. [Reasons why Dave will never be a good church-goer.]

kim oh dear jesus

[longwinded]

[Whoa whoa whoa.]

It's not tyranny Dave if I just don't want to see a ca--oh god Dave! [What in the fucking hell kind of metaphor party was this?!]

Well, you see Jade got really mad at me, and I got really mad at her and the flour resulted in the weapon of choice.

[HE'S REACHING OVER AND SMUSHING A WHOLE PILE INTO JADE'S FACE. Hahahhaha, sister. What now!?]

wink wonk

[frogs]

[Jade scrunched up her nose at him.] Ew, Dave! What are you even saying?

[And then she sneezes and flour poofs up everywhere. She rubs her nose. Ew, it went up her nos--FUCK OFF, JOHN. She flails and whacks John across the face on accident but that's okay. It works to her advantage anyway.]

Don't shove it in my face! Woof!!

[knightime]

You guys sound like I've been some innocent virgin who could say no wrong. I haven't even gotten to mention the word penis and you're both freaking out at me. Obviously you two need some heavy doses of Strider. Look how unready you've become. You should always be ready for only the most sexually charged metaphors a bro can hand over.

[Getting off track and he's rambling.]

Holy shit. Cut it out you two. The place is already a baking warzone. [Welp. he's not getting to the refrigerator now...]

[longwinded]

I don't think we need very much more of a dose than we're already getting. Ergh. I don't really need your sexually charge metaphors.

[Let john be the one to break the ice here. Dave, enjoy the faceful of flour! Courtesy of your best bro.]

[frogs]

[Darn it. One day she will learn to control the woofs.

But John has the right idea and suddenly she's giggling instead. While Dave is distracted she pounces on him from the side, wrapping her arms around him to hug him and rubbing her flour covered face against his.

Flour all up in here, bro.]

[knightime]

[If he were anyone else, he'd be screeching. No, actually he's choking on flour. Wow, thanks for getting flour on his shades, now he can't see for shit. At least it's better than in his eyes though.]

The fuc-[Woah. And who is that? God damn it.] If I wanted to drown in flour, I would have done so mysel-get off.

Augh. You both suck.

[longwinded]

[John comes up sneaky like, and hugs the other side of Dave, rubbing his own face against Dave's cheek. Heh! Take that Dave! TAKE THAT. The siblings aren't even fighting anymore, just flour hugging Dave.]

This is even better than throwing flour around.