vatheon | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Characters: Izaya and Shizuo
Location: Shizuo's place
Time: Night
Style: Action cool with you, baaaybe~?
Status: Closed

[This was stupid and this was dangerous. Mostly stupid. Izaya slipped away from Jacob's for a bit. He didn't know why Shizuo wasn't furious with him but he was selfish enough to take it in stride. It was probably apart of the curse.

Also, he was kinda concerned.

Shizuo was never sick. Curse or not- this was weird. But the problem was- Izaya had never really been sick before either so he was kinda helpless.

But he had enough common sense of first aid that he wasn't totally useless. When he arrived at Shizuo's, he had a nurse's hat placed on his head.]

I would've dressed up but I don't think we're at that stage in our relationship.

[He says it with a poker face.

It's a good twenty minutes later and he's forced Shizuo into bed, tucked him in, and is now sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over with a hand pressing a wet towel against his forehead.

He's shoved a thermometer into Shizuo's mouth and has something cooking in the kitchen.]

Can't believe Shizu-chan's sick...

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[This conversation was a lot less explosive than Izaya had suspected. He'd figure that Shizuo would try to kill him and that any potential hope for this sort of thing would be immortally impossible.

Izaya had prepared for that. He predicted it.

But that's the thing about Shizuo.

He was always so damn unpredictable, wasn't he?]

Shizu-chan...

[His voice is quiet, and suddenly, he's smiling widely because that..honestly meant a lot to him. More than he could probably let Shizuo ever know. He doesn't like to be on the back burner- least of all for Shizuo.

He wants his attention and his heart- fully and entirely. Izaya's just selfish like that. He's going to try. And he promises that not only to Shizuo but to himself.

He didn't want to mess this up again. No way.]

Thank you.

[And then- Izaya's moving fast and hard. He slips his hands out from under Shizuo's in favor of throwing himself into Shizuo.

His arms around his waist, his face into his stomach, and the force of the hug bring Shizuo into the bed and Izaya partially ontop of him.]

I'll be good for you. I swear. Just- give me a chance.

[That smile. The one Shizuo wanted to see. He smiles in return, because it's the smile. The real one. And it's really nice to see that.

He's pushed on the bed, but he doesn't mind at all. Closeness is what he wanted yesterday - and it's what he wants today. And tomorrow. And for as long as possible. He wraps his arms around Izaya.]

I believe you. And I do want you to try. But Izaya, if you fuck up, just come to me. Tell me. It's okay. I'll accept you, no matter what. I'm ready to feel that - to tell you that. It won't be easy, but if I'm going to fix you, it means I have to accept your screw ups, too. And I do. I wouldn't be having this conversation with you if I didn't.

[And yeah, it still hurt. He still had the memory of Sola hitting pavement, and he still distanced himself from Zelda - there were a lot of loose ends and just because they were going to make this work, didn't mean it was without pain. But they were both hurting. And working to fix that.]

I'm yours, Izaya. Only. All of me.

[Izaya pushes his foot into the ground and moves himself up more entirely on top of Shizuo. He shifts his legs around Shizuo's waist until he's properly straddling him and he sits in his lap.

He leans up to put their foreheads together, his eyes wide open, hands on either side of Shizuo's neck.

They both need this. Whatever this fucked up relationship is. Because as much as it has hurt, Izaya knows that it's a lot better than what their relationship used to be.]

...Okay. [That's a big statement but at the same time, Shizuo knows Izaya. He knows how messed up he can be. Just like Izaya knows all about Shizuo's gruesome anger and strength.

They're both dangerous people. They both know that.]

I'll come to you. And you should come to me. I think we just need to work on the whole communication thing. I think we'll...get there. I'm okay with...being patient. I don't want to lose you. Ever. And whether you believe it or not, I do love...you. Even if it's not something you believe because of the things I've done. But if you tell me I don't ever again, I'll castrate you, okay?

[It's not a serious threat. Not really, but his tone is serious regardless because he never wanted to be told that his feelings for Shizuo were anything less than authentic.]

You don't have any idea how I've felt for seven years, Shizuo. You need to remember that. This is something I've carried for a long time. You need to realize that I'm dealing with this on a different level.

[He's not trying to pick a fight. Not when they just patched up a big hole. The promise softens Izaya and instead of responding at once- he instead just presses his mouth to Shizuo's.

The kiss is full of a deep warmth that comes from sincerity. His hands squeeze down and he presses into Shizuo, his heart up in his throat.]

And I'm all yours. Completely.

[A mumble against Shizuo's mouth.]

[It's true, that they need this. That need is something Shizuo's has been battling since that first curse - since they dragged everything out into the open. And up until this moment, it has still been a battle. But finally, it doesn't feel like that. It feels more like understanding - perhaps imperfect, but enough for now. Shizuo believes they'll get there. They'll get to a place where it doesn't hurt so much.]

We will.

[He believes it.]

I know I shouldn't have said it. It isn't true. I know that. Yesterday - I felt it. I'll learn how to make you feel that way, too. I don't want to lose you, either.

[And that was a truth that had taken a tragedy and a fever to make him realize. Say anything about Vatheon curses, but Shizuo would probably be miles behind without them.

Shizuo returns the kiss, deepening it and bringing his arms around Izaya. It feels right. Everything he didn't realize until yesterday that he needs from Izaya. He tightens his hold upon hearing Izaya's mumbled words.]

I'll take care of you. Better care. I'll treat you right. Put you first. And I'll charm you, too.

[A small smile, and then he pulls Izaya in for another kiss.]

Good. Good. You won't lose me.

[He's suddenly feeling that fluttering sensation in his chest. He suddenly just wants to squirm around. There's a warmth in his body that he can only describe as endearment.

He does adore this man. With everything. Even if it hurts sometimes. Even if it's disgustingly human of him.

But Izaya was twenty three and he's lived with this for a long time. He knows that he needs to let some inhibitions about himself go. Shizuo can' fix all of him. Izaya needs to work on a thing or two.]

Shizu-chan...[Hnnn.] I lied.

[He doesn't smile back but he does kiss back, only to break it a second later-]

You are pretty charming. Guess there's some hope for you yet.

[But he's going to preoccupy himself with kissing Shizuo again because it's Shizuo and he needs to kiss him. So he does. A lot. A lot. A lot. A dozen kisses, plucking at Shizuo's lips before finally he just settles his mouth there and parts his own lips.

He pushes his tongue out into Shizuo's mouth. One thing that he learned was that he liked to kiss Shizuo. And now that he knows he's not going to lose that?

He's just going to smuggle out a lot right now. His tongue sinks into the back of Shizuo's mouth, along his tongue and he practically salivates over the taste and texture and everything else. God, it's perfect.]

Edited 2012-02-29 02:58 (UTC)

[Shizuo responses with a stern look, but a smile cracks through. It feels good to be told that. After all, it became a goal of his to be charming. Still...]

You do need to stop lying, you know. [He glances at Izaya's leg. Yes he remembers.

Then Izaya is kissing him, lots of little kisses before he deepens the kiss, and Shizuo lets Izaya's tongue in and move against his. He makes a low sound in the back of his throat and responds with vigor - uninhibitedly. There was no point in holding back, now, with how much they've lain on the table. He runs his hands over Izaya's body, and settles them at his hips, again. Then, changing course, he slips them under Izaya's jacket and shirt, fingertips making contact with Izaya's back.

This feels right. Fuck everything else, they are going to make this work, because this is right. Maybe they won't have the healthiest relationship, maybe they'll run into more problems, but they'll get through them - together.]

[Oops. He gives Shizuo a guilty smile.]

I'll try. [With Shizuo at least.

Besides. He had to lie with that. After all, Shizuo had been so sick that he didn't seem about to let up--

But that doesn't stay on his mind for long. Mostly because kissing Shizuo is a very captivating thing to do. One of his hands slides up into Shizuo's hair and he arches his hips up just a little when he feels Shizuo's hands on him.

Oh. That. Feels nice. That contact that they both needed. His other hand slides down the front of Shizuo's chest. Something to stabilize himself.

At some point, Izaya begins to suck on Shizuo's tongue, smirking a little bit, teasingly, at the very corner of his mouth.

Hey. Kissing Shizuo last night had started a miniature fire. He can't help but want to get it going again.]

[Whether it's because he's still a little sick and out of it - or because of the raw conversation and conclusion - Shizuo isn't worrying. He isn't concerned about hurting Izaya - well, minimally, as much as he considered necessary - and he isn't worried about being a little more physical. In fact...He pulls back, a little breathless, and coughs a little. Ah, if only they were doing this when he could breathe freely.]

Take your jacket off. It's hot.

Shizu-chan, my, so forward~.

[How could he resist? He sits up on Shizuo's hips and complies to the demand though. He slides the jacket off and tosses it to the end of Shizuo's bed.

He slides his hands up under Shizuo's shirt and pushes them up- forcing the shirt to fold up with his hands until finally Izaya has his hands rested up at the very top of Shizuo's chest.

Revealing his bare body.

Of which Izaya whistles at appreciatively.]

Look at your body.

[His eyes brighten devilishly and he bends over and brings his mouth down to Shizuo's chest in the very middle and begins to kiss wetly here and there- his mouth wavering towards Shizuo's nipple but never quite reaching it.

Instead, he moves back to Shizuo's mouth and pulls his hands out from Shizuo's shirt and puts them back on his neck.

Uh but totally leaves his shirt up. Because that is hot.]

[There's a very faint blush at that, which can be attributed to the fever that hasn't fully broken, but Shizuo does suddenly feel a little shy at Izaya's remark. He's never done this before, so it's only -

His thoughts are difficult to follow once Izaya has pulled up his shift and started kissing his chest, inching near his nipple. Shizuo had never been the type of person to concern himself with his appearance. Beyond dying his hair - which wasn't a fashion statement - he had a very boring wardrobe and generally wore the same thing every day. It wasn't that he thought he was ugly - he didn't. But he also didn't care.

When Izaya touched him, though, Shizuo did care. It made him feel desired - attractive, something special.

He returned the kiss, again finding the skin under Izaya's shirt. This time, however, he navigated his fingertips from his back to his front, running over his hip line, only barely slipping into the hem of his jeans and resting there. The kiss deepens and now it's Shizuo's tongue in Izaya's mouth, moving and taking everything in. It's a nice, long kiss, but when they finally pull away, Shizuo tugs at Izaya's pants.]

[Oh God...Is this a dream? Was this a dream? It wasn't.

But he still felt like he was moving through a foggy unreality. He kissed Shizuo in sync, his body starting to grow warm in its own respect in response to Shizuo's exploratory hands.

Then they were starting to tug at his pants and Izaya felt his skin crawl. It practically made his head spin off its axis. He broke the kiss, his mouth parted and eyes wide, and stares at Shizuo for a moment.

He's wearing a questioning expression but after a moment of thought, brushes Shizuo's hand away only to push his arms up above his head and slide Shizuo's shirt off of him. He sits up and grabs his belt, sliding it open.

Then there's the tell-tale sound of a zipper going down and Izaya's eyes flick up to check on Shizuo's face. Where he's at. If this is the direction he even wants to go in.]

[It would be a lie if Shizuo said he isn't nervous. Of course he is. There are probably ten solid good reasons why he shouldn't do more than innocent (more or less) kissing. But he is being selfish. He wants this, despite those reasons. He wants to feel Izaya.

Being shirt off isn't necessarily new, but it still makes Shizuo feel a little vulnerable, giving the circumstances.

Yeah, he's nervous.

But this is too important. After their talk, this is the logical conclusion.

So when the zipper sounds and Izaya looks at him, Shizuo hesitates, but then nods. Yes. He wants this. He takes a steadying breath.]

[Izaya has a pretty simple solution to the nerves. He just doesn't think about them. He hitches his thumbs into his pants and pushes them over his hips and off his body entirely, letting them drop over the end of the bed.

Then he neatly plucks each sock off and lets those drop as well. He doesn't touch his boxers yet though. That's...Too much too fast.

Besides. Despite the shedding of cloth, Izaya still isn't too sure. He glances back at Shizuo and swallows.

He wasn't sure whether or not he should really take control of the situation. Although a part of him wants Shizuo to just push him down and dominate everything- he also knows that they are about the equivalent of fumbling fourteen year old virgins right now. Because they might as well be.

He crawls back on top of Shizuo, but then realizes that they're still sort of laying awkwardly, horizontally, on the bed and he chuckles lowly.]

I don't really see how this is going to make sense unless we shift around.

[So he crawls further over Shizuo and instead lays down vertically on the bed, his head resting against one of Shizuo's pillows as he relaxes on his back.

Okay. Yeah. About those nerves.]

[Shizuo's shirt is off, but he isn't sure whether or not he should be taking off his pants or - waiting? But - he remembers - he's only wearing a simple pair of pajama pants. And, well, who wears underwear with their pajama pants? Not Shizuo. So he's going to wait, because that'd be...a lot.

Shizuo does like the way Izaya looks with that final piece of clothing on him. It does hug his hips and ass nicely.

When Izaya is settled, it's Shizuo's turn to be on top. He carefully straddles him, looking a little unsure, but pushing himself into confidence - just enough so that he can lean down and kiss Izaya. Straddled on top of him as he is, he can feel Izaya, and it makes Shizuo feel a flush of warmth throughout his body. He deepens the kiss, but cuts it off with a sudden thought.]

Just...if I hurt you during this...make me stop, okay?

[He could grab him too tightly, or maybe get excited and do something too rough...Shizuo isn't sure about what can go wrong, but he'd be horrified if he hurt Izaya, especially in such a situation.

He's...pretty nervous about it.]

It's not as if Izaya had never thought about this. He was a man of course. He had even gone as far to touch himself with these sort of images involving Shizuo in his head. It wasn't exactly something he had ever been proud of- especially before they had even had anything akin to a relationship. Yet he couldn't help himself before and he certainly could not help himself now. Shizuo was, to him, absolutely the most attractive man he had ever seen. It probably had a lot to do with the psychological warfare of how unpredictable and distorted of a person that Shizuo was- while still retaining some type of humanity deep down...But hell. He was also just a good looker.

"Shizu-chan," he said, his tone a low drawl as if mocking the man above him. He buried himself down against the bed and smirked coyly up at Shizuo. "I don't think you'll hurt me. And you never know. Maybe I like pain."

It was a joke, really, but Izaya had a hunch that he had the potential to be a masochist. Why else would he be in love with a man who threw vending machines at him as part of a daily routine? Izaya let it go though because this was a serious moment and he knew that. So the smirk faded in exchange for something kinder, more understanding of what Shizuo meant and he cupped his hands around Shizuo's handsome face.

"Don't worry, okay? I can take a lot more than you realize. And besides, didn't we already learn that you're pretty good with control when you care?" he said encouragingly. It was true. He trusted Shizuo entirely not to be too rough with him. Even if Shizuo did become lost in the moment, Izaya had some faith in him that he wouldn't fuck him literally through the bed.

Of which made Izaya wonder: did Shizuo even know what to do?

He would find out.

Instead of asking the blond, he just started to kiss him again. It was slow, languid, wet, and delicious in ways that food never could be. His fingers curled into his hair and he brought one of his knees up between Shizuo's legs. One hand wandered along Shizuo's back before he dug his nails in against him.

"You can feel me, you know," he said between two hard kisses, his breath a bit heavier and he was a bit ashamed to notice that he was already quite hard. It couldn't be helped. The close proximity, the intimate kissing, the bare flesh, the high scale of emotional connection- it was a bit overstimulating and Izaya felt admittedly dizzy. And maybe that statement was something of a nudge to get Shizuo to explore his body a bit. If only to give Izaya the excuse to do just the same.

Shizuo doesn't really know what to do. He's never been the sort to watch porn, and all his shower fantasizing had little to do with imagining acts of gratuitous sex, and more about just being touched, and touching in turn. He had, up until establishing a relationship with Izaya, been relatively tame. Izaya, however, had the ability to bring out more from Shizuo, and aimless fantasizing soon became specific, and Shizuo may have experimented with fingers in places. He actually bought some of what he found in Izaya's nightstand that one night. So despite being relatively tame as far as sex drives go, Shizuo had ideas, and just hoped those idea would work out.

"Okay," he replied with a nod. "You're right." He really didn't want to ruin the moment with his insecurities, but Shizuo had never done this before. He didn't know if control was easy to lose in the midst of pleasure.

And with that kiss, the thoughts were easily dispelled - for the time being - and Shizuo focused on Izaya's lips, Izaya's tongue, and the knee brought up between his legs.

Izaya invited him to feel his body, and so Shizuo started to do just that.

During one of those deep and passionate kisses, Shizuo's fingers ghosted down Izaya's neck. He then palmed Izaya's chest, lingering over his heard for a paused moment, before treading downward. To both give himself space and leverage, he moved from kissing Izaya's mouth to running a series of slow, passionate kisses to the skin of his neck, downward. In his fantasies, this is how it went - Izaya moving and reacting to each kiss, each little suck and pull at flesh.

Meanwhile, his hand found the waistband of Izaya's boxers. Shizuo dipped under them only briefly, without reaching too far, before pulling his hand out and resting it on Izaya's thigh. Close.

Having Izaya like this - so perfectly vulnerable, untouched, his and his alone stirred strong feelings within Shizuo. He wanted Izaya, but he wanted more than just to take his body. He wanted all of him to be his. It was almost animalistic, his desire.

He paused and looked up at his lover, making sure he was making the right moves. Shizuo couldn't help it. This was new, uncertain territory, and he wanted to know that Izaya liked it - needed to know if Izaya wanted more.

Shizuo and Izaya had far more in common than either of them probably realized. Izaya was quite the modest person himself. Porn had never interested him and the only reason he had ever done any research into sex was out of necessity. That and he didn't want to be that one guy left out in the dark. Anyway- most of sex was common sense. Granted, Izaya liked to think that he had an impressively higher amount of common sense than the average person.

But then again- so did Shizuo.

Kind....of....Oh man.

He hadn't quite expected Shizuo to be so into this. Why would he? Yet it was a solidifying factor into this erotic display of unionization though. Shizuo was invested. Physically, emotionally, mentally...

And Izaya could feel that. It was enough to make his body feel hot and constricted, his back arched up just a little under Shizuo's heavy body. He struggled to keep a straight face, to keep quiet. He didn't want to make it so obvious as to how much he was actually enjoying it. It would be a little embarrassing, wouldn't it? Those kisses, those little pulls at his flesh had his body rocking from side to side and his toes curled into the bed sheets.

"Nnng-"

A small moan and he instantly put his hand over his mouth. He couldn't help but want to whine when Shizuo's hand did not go further. But instead remained teasingly close.

Just as Izaya thought that he was going to be able to remain stable through this- Shizuo had to look at him. With that idiotic searching look that translated as nothing but purely attractive to Izaya. He lowered his hand from his mouth and opened it to respond-

"Shizu-." His name came out in a moan, a breathless pant of something that sort of resembled Shizuo's name. Did his voice really sound like that because he was-?

"I-." Needed to stop talking. He looked around the room, away from Shizuo, when an idea clicked and he instead moved to slide his shirt up and over his head. He had to regain himself somehow. He pull his legs out from under Shizuo- only to spread them apart on either side of his hips a moment later.

This opened Izaya up far more than he had been previously. It actually made him a little flustered when he realized that but at the same time...

Shizuo was into this, and as Izaya moved into an even more accommodating position, he could feel his body fill with a heat that had nothing to do with fever. The way Izaya said his name made Shizuo respond and he leaned forward to touch Izaya's face, which looked breathtaking, like that. Since Izaya's shirt was off, Shizuo ran both palms down the flesh there - lightly, as a way of claiming every inch of Izaya.

Izaya's spread legs were offering up something - something Shizuo wanted. And yet, made him pause. What if he did something wrong, somehow? What if he was too slow, too fast, or too strong? What if he coughed all over Izaya in the moment?

He tried to push those thoughts away, and focus instead. His hands wandered all over Izaya's torso, ghosting over the scars, exploring and claiming every inch of him. Dipping downward to his hips, even tracing the outline of Izaya's hardening cock on his boxers.

Izaya seemed to like what he was doing.

Shizuo was nervous and inexperienced, but that wouldn't hinder him. He might not know the way men did it in porn, but he knew that he wanted Izaya - and wanted to communicate that to him. He wanted to show Izaya that he was invested. Devoted. This act would be the proverbial signing of the contract.

He put his hands on Izaya's hips, slipping them under the hem of his underwear, which he pulled over to reveal Izaya's hardening cock. Despite himself, Shizuo made an very soft mmm sound. He shifted himself out of the way, so he could pull the boxers off entirely.

Izaya was completely naked.

Immediately, Shizuo began to kiss every inch of Izaya - from his neck, down to his chest, down to his hip, down right beside his cock - occasionally stopping to suck a little harder. This was his devotion. His offering.

Izaya was very much naked indeed.

He had never really been exposed like this before. Even during gym class at high school, he had always changed privately behind his locker door. It had never been a matter of body shy as much as it was...modesty. He didn't have the time of day to really worry about it though because Shizuo was on him in an instant.

The closer Shizuo got to his cock, the more exhilarated Izaya felt. A hand automatically went to Shizuo's hair, his fingers just barely touching the tips of the bleached strands.

If this wasn't such a magnetic moment of truth, if it wasn't so serious, maybe Izaya would have been able to crack a smirk and make a crude joke to get Shizuo flustered. Maybe if this wasn't the most revealing and personal thing that he had ever done with someone, he'd be able to laugh and be giddy.

Maybe somewhere down the line.

But for once, Orihara Izaya is speechless.

He can only watch helplessly as he's unwounded by the one man that he thought to be an unobtainable monster. The one devastatingly destructive and unpredictable creature that had always ...Always.

God, Izaya was starting to feel emotional again. A breathy sort of laugh broke out of him and he threw an arm over his eyes, a ridiculous smile on his face.

"Jesus Christ, Shizuo. You really see me, don't you..." he muttered, his voice tight. No, no, no. His voice did not crack. He didn't sound exasperated or on the brink of something.

"Damn it. Come here," he said, seizing Shizuo gently by the air but still firm enough to lead him up along his body if only so they could meet one another's mouths.

He knew that they were supposed to be having sex. He knew that it was supposed to be erotic but his heart was suddenly dribbling out of his mouth and he couldn't not kiss Shizuo. He pushed himself up and up until he was kneeling in front of Shizuo but eventually shifted over onto Shizuo until he was sitting in his lap.

He couldn't really tell where his tongue began and Shizuo's ended. During this little kiss, his naked body began to rotate and slide against Shizuo's lap. Pressing, feeling, touching and pushing down against him. It was a lap dance but it felt a little more than that- their bodies sealed together and only separated by the thin layer of Shizuo's boxers. He could feel him through those.

Man, he really needed to get a hold of himself.

Izaya's words caught Shizuo by surprise - he looked up at the way Izaya covered his face, still smiling. They shifted positions and then Izaya was in his lap, and they were kissing. This kiss was more important than any other physical interaction that they had thus far, and Shizuo knew it. He could feel it in the way Izaya kissed him. As Izaya's body began to move, Shizuo let out a low moan. Feeling Izaya so close, so against him, separated only by his boxers - why had he left those on?

With the kiss finally broken, Shizuo brought his strong arms around Izaya's body and held him close. Yes, they were supposed to have sex - would have sex - but he wanted Izaya to understand, first. He kissed Izaya again - this one a little more chaste - and squeezed him, gently of course.

"I do see you, Izaya," Shizuo said, and he was smiling a wide, genuine smile. Shizuo wasn't the kind of guy who talked in circles about things. He liked to be straightforward, and what he was about to tell Izaya was the truth, plain and simple. "I see you," he repeated, shifting to put a palm over the scar across Izaya's heart. "And I still love you."

Love was a big word. A scary one. One that Shizuo had previously been unable to think about - to accept as fact. He had been so terrified of believing in Izaya before, so afraid of trusting in him. But now, especially after everything that happened, Shizuo knew Izaya. He might not know his birthday and he might not have seen that picture of his mother - yet - but Shizuo could see underneath everything to the person Izaya was. And Izaya wasn't a good person, he did bad things before and would do bad things again, but even those bad things didn't matter. Shizuo could see Izaya as Izaya. Not the Izaya presented to people. Not Izaya the informant. Not even Izaya the flea. Just Izaya - raw and true.

It might have been too soon to use that word - love - for others. But Shizuo and Izaya have worked through seven years of knowing each other - seven years, and one horrific event. But Shizuo could finally think it, say it, accept it, and mean it.

He loved Izaya for Izaya, and that meant accepting all that came with it.

Shizuo could do that. Would do that - for him, because he knew that Izaya would do the same - for him.

And just like that, it felt as though all of the pieces had finally aligned.

Then just like that, everything in the world became very quiet and very still. Izaya had never understood the idea of having the sensation of the entire world stopping at one second. Even when he had jumped to his own death, that had never flashed into his mind. He felt like he could hear the water bubbling around the globe of Vatheon. He felt like if he listened hard enough, he would hear the wind up on the island.

His eyes were wide open and his entire body had grown still but not stiff. He was completely relaxed.

The words submerged themselves into him. They sank through his body like calm, warming affect. They pushed into the crevices of his complicated brain tissue and worked through the twisted fissures of muscle and organ that made up his whole existence.

Shizuo loved him.

Like a movie reel, his life whipped through his mind. His life with Shizuo, rather. Every encounter, every fight, every shed of violence. But also every single tender moment, every promise, every emotional explosion that had resulted in this. This relationship that Izaya would literally die for. This relationship that shook him in the way that nothing else would ever be able to.

His king had finally come to stand by his side. Maybe the white and black king wouldn't fight at the very end after all. He was wrong. Again.

There was virtually no other possibility of love for Izaya. He wanted nothing and disregarded all else with an indifferent flick of the wrist. Nothing would ever amount to anything that Shizuo and him held. Not in hate and not in love. He would welcome Shizuo as Shizuo welcomed him- with an entire-armed embrace that swallowed up every inch of Shizuo. The parts of him that hated Izaya, the parts of him that loved him, the parts of him that were an uncontrolled beast, the parts of him that were daft and stupid...Everything.

Izaya hadn't realized that he had even stopped kissing to look at Shizuo instead. He didn't realize that he had cupped his face to stare evenly at his eyes.

"Do you believe in fate, Shizu-chan?" he asked, but he stared up at the ceiling a moment later, his hands slid off of Shizuo's face.

"I never used to."

With that, he languidly fell backwards from Shizuo and landed on the bed with a huff, his legs spread apart on either side of Shizuo's body, arched up at the knee and his arms above his head. He stretched his body out and opened one eye to look at Shizuo.

"But now I do. It all makes so much sense. It's like this entire life of ours was this complicated puzzle and that the alignment had to be forged in order for the picture to portray itself. It's like there was no other possible routine out of this life. This- this was it. Out of all of the astronomical possibilities, this was the one set in the stars for us. I'm not much of a fantastical person, Shizu-chan, but for you? For you I think I can believe it."

It's one of Izaya's usual rambles. But it's so much more now. He reached out and snagged the chain to the lamp by Shizuo's bed and yanked the chain. It left them in a shrouded darkness where the high lights of their bodies were lit up by the street lamps from outside, painting them in blacks and silvers.

Izaya's bright eyes peered up at Shizuo, alluring and aware, and as his eyesight adjusted to the dark, he could once again see Shizuo.

"Take me."

Shizuo watched Izaya as he spoke. His usual gut reaction was to roll his eyes at Izaya's prattles and tune them out, but he listened, this time. He worked hard to follow exactly what Izaya was saying, to make sense of the analogies - all of which spoke of the two of them, coming together, fitting in the right way, perfectly. Two pieces, meant to link. It made sense. Shizuo could understand.

"I can believe it, too," he agreed quietly, just as they were covered by darkness.

And he would take Izaya. Izaya who was his, wholly and completely - every good part, bad part, confused part, hurt part. Shizuo would take them all.

He leaned over and pulled the lube out of the nightstand beside the bed. The one he bought after finding it in Izaya's bedroom. Shizuo had wanted to be prepared for this. He then slipped off his own boxers, and now they both were naked. Then he leaned over Izaya so they could feel skin-against-skin all over, in all the right places - and kissed him, before sitting back up and using the lube on his fingers.

Urging Izaya's knees back just a little, Shizuo found his asshole and lightly the outside with his lubed finger. In the shower, practicing, he had done that, thinking about Izaya - thinking about how he could make Izaya feel. Then, he slowly moved that find inside of Izaya - very carefully, still mindful of his strength, and began to move it, watching to see if Izaya liked it.

And...suddenly thinking about how it'd feel to put himself in there, rather than just a finger. He took a shaky breath as he watched Izaya's skin move from the short, careful thrusts of his finger - and thought about slipping his cock inside and feeling Izaya all around him.

There was a surprising difference between the size of Shizuo's fingers and Izaya's. It was an instant acknowledgement and Izaya bit down on the inside of his lip. It didn't hurt. Actually it was more of the opposite. He didn't question Shizuo why in the hell he had lube but he kept it in mind to do so later. Shizuo didn't really seem the type of guy to have that stuff laying around his apartment.

His eyes were focused on Shizuo's chest when suddenly they dropped down and---

"Oh," he suddenly exhaled because Shizuo was-

Big to say the least. The thought of having that inside of him didn't instantly make Izaya cringe out of fear but instead shiver a bit with excitement. It was an honest fantasy he had had for a while and God damn was he ready.

With each little nudging thrust of that finger, it pushed right up against him and had Izaya's body lifting a bit each time to accommodate that finger. He slid down on the bed a bit more, making himself much more accessible to Shizuo. His legs fell apart a bit wider and he closed his eyes, his breathing a bit quicker than it had been only a few minutes ago.

His body clenched up around Shizuo and he started to mouth something- but stopped half way to sounding it out. But it was pretty obvious as to what he was alluding to.

Like Shizuo- he wanted more.

Shizuo loved the way Izaya's body reacted - moved as though silently begging for more. At some point, Shizuo slipped in a second finger, watching Izaya breathe quicker in obvious pleasure. Izaya was absolutely alluring. There was no other way of putting it. Shizuo wanted him - all of him, all around him. And so, carefully, he pulled his fingers out and grabbed the lube bottle again, lathering his cock. Then, on second thought, pulling Izaya's hand to his cock and having him help. That brief touch sent a shiver of pleasure down Shizuo's spine - and fuck, he was going to take Izaya.

Once lathered, hemoved closer to Izaya, in between his legs, putting two hands around that accessible butt. This far in, he was no longer worried about things like coughing or being wrong. He felt confident, the only lingering fear being hurting Izaya. But Izaya had faith in him, and so Shizuo would try hard to have faith in himself. He raised Izaya's ass just enough and then pressed his cock against his hole. It was with careful pressure that he eased it inside, stopping if Izaya made any sounds of discomfort.

Fuck, Izaya was tight. Super tight. Shizuo's own eyes fell periodically shut as he entered him, overcome with the feeling of Izaya all around, but he'd force them back open again, wanting to see Izaya's face, to watch him and make sure he was in pleasure and not pain.

Once he was nearly in, he carefully hoisted Izaya up onto him, wanting his lover as close as possible. Then, finally, he was entirely inside Izaya.

"Izaya," he mumbled through bliss and tightness and forgiveness and love and everything else that could be packed into those syllables. Izaya - his, and his alone.

Izaya's mind was mostly a mashed pile of meat at this rate. All he could really coherently think about was how good Shizuo was making him feel. There was no endless list of philosophical wonderment, no doubts seeking the crevices of his mind, no worries or concerns with how much Shizuo really wanted this. He could feel how much Shizuo really wanted this and it absolutely drove him half mad.

He'd finger himself enough to be used to the feeling of it. It still didn't make it feel any less the experience having two fingers.

But two fingers were virtually nothing compared to Shizuo's cock. Izaya's breath was gone the moment that Shizuo slid into his body and for a millisecond, he was frozen out of sheer initial pain. The shock to his system of actually being penetrated- but he was quick to relax, his breath coming out in light puffs as he forced himself to adjust. He only clenched harder around Shizuo and his body only moved when Shizuo yielded it too. It was one steady flow after another and Izaya had his arms around Shizuo, his eyes pinched shut as he tried to take control of himself.

His own eyes popped when Shizuo was up to the brim and he could barely talk.

"Shi-zu-chaaan," he said, no, groaned as he rose himself up only to drop himself back down. It made him tremble, his thighs shaking with the effort of holding himself up. He hugged himself against Shizuo and pressed his face into his neck.

Then his body began to move on its own accord. He wanted this, wanted everything that Shizuo had given to him. Shizuo had made him feel good, had really tried, and now it was Izaya's turn. His body bounced and rotated around on top of Shizuo, pulling up before shaking back down. It was more difficult than he had suspected to ride on Shizuo, his movements surprisingly clumsy for someone so typically graceful but it honestly felt awesome enough that Izaya didn't have the time to feel embarrassed.

He just worked his hips until finally he found an even, steady pace that was relatively easy to keep in.

And more importantly- felt fucking incredible.

Little grunts and groans eased out of him as he fucked himself onto Shizuo's cock, his body warm and already moist from their love making. Izaya knew he wasn't about to last. No way in hell- not with how directly Shizuo kept pumping into him. It would be impossible.

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a_violent_end - 2012-03-03 05:34 (UTC) - Expand

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Off to the wonderful land of prose we go!

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I hope Izaya's riding him or else this post will be awkward :|

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