2 --> Switch

[croceamors]

Who: A very confused Not-Axel and Roxas
When: The early morning
Where: Axel and Roxas' apartments
Style: Whatever
Status: Closed

On normal days, Saix woke up early anyway. It was habit no matter how dark it was in the bubble. When you had spent ten years in a world that didn't change from eternal night, you learned to wake up on time instead of hoping the sun's rays would wake you.

But it's not habit that wakes him up this morning. It's the feeling of something missing, for one thing, a familiar warmth wiggling against his side and wagging its tail. There's something else, a twist in his chest, something that makes his lungs feel tight. It's all enough to make him rouse himself from sleep, pushing himself up in bed and pressing a hand to his chest. Still sleepy, it takes him a moment to realize that this is not his room.

Saix jerks back in alarm- more alarm than he thought himself capable of- and a burst of flame suddenly manifests on the end of his bed, eating up the sheets. Cursing under his breath, Saix stumbles out from the sheets. Why he's not in his house, why this room is so painfully familiar, why his chest feels weird, and why he feels so gangly- those are all questions for later. Right now, he has to concentrate on putting out this fire.

Roxas might notice a commotion in the next room, and he'll likely find "Axel" trying to smother the flames with wet towels.

Comments

[linefais]

Oh. Right, Roxas had been a part of Vanitas' body that one time, leaving Axel to deal with Vanitas in their apartment. It's almost funny that this time around Axel's the one being affected. Maybe it's karma for something.

He's silent, staring at the space on the couch between himself and Roxas, before he hears that suggestion and glances up abruptly, a bit of surprise on his face. For once he might be agreeing with Saix, because there's just no way that either of them have a heart to speak of... but then he remembers that Roxas just happens to have a knack for this sort of thing. He's Sora's Other, he's been connected with him before; he would know how it properly feels somehow.

... Could that explain- A bit startled by the sound of fire crackling, Axel straightens then sighs roughly. Great, now he's lost his train of thought completely. "It can't be that hard to get a hold of my fire," he mutters under his breath.

[coolerthansora]

Roxas gives a start, too, at the burst of fire, but this one goes out quicker, and it seems like added proof. "You keep freaking out- 'cause you can't help it, right?" Right? Saix has been a lot more expressive than he would have expected.

"I can't explain why. I just know that- how I am now doesn't feel as different from having a heart as it used to. I think- Axel's the same." He shifts uncomfortably, because it's never easy trying to express his suspicions to anyone, and explaining it to Saix of all people... He's never put it into so many words with Axel either, and now he gives his friend a hesitant glance. He didn't say Roxas was wrong.

[goddammitaxel]

"Shut up," is his immediate response, growled out and frustrated. The fire is just so- reactive, responding to every little bit of him it seems like. Calling upon the moon is nothing like this. "We'll see how well you fair yourself when tonight comes calling." It won't be a particularly pleasant experience, he knows that for a fact. The moon is waning, and a new moon will be up by the middle of the week. Then when it starts to wax again... He knows he's always felt more on edge on the phases presiding the full moon. It'll bring him some small bit of pleasure to see Axel have to deal with that, having no experience. Before he can even think of snapping any of this out, however, Roxas is speaking again and...

And he's uncomfortably right. It's like constantly being on edge, waiting for a moon to rise to smooth everything out again, only worse in some way because it all feels too explosive. Saix doesn't respond, only adjusting his hood and looking away. It doesn't make any sense... When would Axel have gotten his heart back? How would either of them missed that?

[linefais]

Axel scowls when Saix snaps back at him but then his expression turns to one of of deep curiosity at the mentioning of tonight. If he thinks that he's having a hard time keeping his cool right now, when Axel can only imagine what's going to happen to him when the moon is high in the sky. And what about the phases? Those play a big factor too, don't they? Just thinking about it makes his head hurt, but at least Axel knows that he shouldn't be around anyone for as long as this curse lasts, at least not until he's certain he can control himself... which he doubts.

Furthermore, what Roxas is saying... bothers him. It makes him feel uneasy, uncomfortable, so much so that he starts to tighten his fingers into loose fists. It can't be possible. He couldn't have had his heart this whole time... could he? But there's no denying that while he was still in his body, Axel had felt bits and pieces of something here and there. Happiness, despair, anger--

Are those more than memories?

After a while he looks over to meet Roxas' glance. "... But I'm a Nobody," he mutters. "And you're a special case, right? We can't be the same." Now he's just going through denial, plain and simple. Now Axel has to look at his own chest and place a hand right over where Saix's heart would be. But there's nothing. Not even the slightest bit of something.

Suddenly, Axel seems to fly into a panic, because it's finally hitting him that he's not feeling anymore. He's that empty shell again, the one that can't laugh or cry or anything. And something keeps tugging at him but he can't figure out what but he wants to get away if only he could--! Axel abruptly stands from his seat so he can summon open a Corridor of Darkness. He should get out of here, shelter himself in the Darkness, before he ends up hurting someone.

[coolerthansora]

Saix's lack of reply and Axel's uncomfortable pause... They can't dismiss what he's saying so easily, can they? Roxas doesn't mean to suggest that he and Axel have gotten their hearts back. He knows his heart is with Sora, so he doesn't see how that could have happened. He just believes there's something else, some other way they've found to feel again. Maybe not quite as well--he can't be sure without being able to compare the sensation again--but well enough.

"Not that special," he says. They're all Nobodies, and really, it was Demyx who figured this out first. He's just starting to relax a bit when suddenly Axel is standing to go. Roxas hurriedly stands, too, not sure what's going on. He's used to Axel trying to avoid uncomfortable conversations, but not quite so... abruptly.

"Axel?"

[goddammitaxel]

Heat flares at his fingertips from surprise, but Saix muffles the impulse and fire. Instead, he moves forward to grab at Axel's arm- his arm, and he can already feel a bit more light on his feet, more than he's used to. That might be a disadvantage if they start up a fight again... Hopefully they don't have to come to that.

"No, you're not running away again, not for this!" He can barely recognize the slight edge of desperation in his tone, but frustration, that's easier.

[linefais]

Axel doesn't stop even when he hears Roxas' voice but when Saix reaches out to grab his arm he ends up being tugged back ever-so slightly. There's still a bit of anxiety in his eyes, but for the most part he seems reserved... yet tense. His fingers clench again as he glares down at that hand on him before he speaks up.

"Let go." He has to get out of here...

[coolerthansora]

Roxas is, again, surprised by Saix's reaction, but more from the tone of his voice than what he's doing. Actually, it seems a lot like the last time he saw the two of them together, when Saix nearly killed his friend. They wouldn't seriously fight when they're in each other's bodies, would they?

For once, he almost agrees with Saix. This isn't something he wants to drop. But he knows Axel's moods, and pressing him when he's tense like this never seems to work. It's probably even worse with Saix; the two of them always wind up fighting.

Roxas steps up as if to separate them, but doesn't touch either one just yet. "You'll- both be like this all week. We can talk about it later."

[goddammitaxel]

The temperature is starting to steadily rise, especially around his hand where the air is actually starting to waver and shift where he's gripping Axel's arm. He's literally shaking from frustration and anger, not wanting to let go for anything. They're onto something, something important, and here this coward is, unable to face anything once again. It's a struggle to rein himself in so that the entire house doesn't go up in flames.

Finally, he lets go of Axel, shoving at him roughly. "Fine. Run away like you always do."

[linefais]

He wants to know more too, but Axel doubts that the three of them will be able to figure out or prove anything at all on their own. It would be pointless to just sit around and talk about this... especially when his body feels so sick. Maybe later, when he's more in control. Maybe later when he's level-headed.

... But that last comment from Saix sparks something in him again which he can't get a grip on or extinguish. In a split second he turns right back around, eyes glowing and fist pulling back to aim straight for the other's jaw. He doesn't even register that it's his own body he's about to hit, but that doesn't matter. He just needs him to shut up.

"You listen to me," he snarls, his tone surprisingly dark. Normally he would yell out, speak like Saix is speaking right now because his body can do that. But that's not the case now. Right now he juts sounds like he's about to bite someone's head off. Reaching out, he aims to take hold of the front of Saix's coat. "If it's true that I can feel, if it's true that I could feel this entire time, then good. Because I want you to pay attention."

His eyes keep glowing, flickering from that dull amber to bright gold in a matter of seconds. "Now that you're in my body, can you feel it? Everything I had to be put through, all my memories, all the reasons why I had to run away and turn my back even on my own best friend?" Another snarl as he slowly feels the Darkness inside of him well up, ready to burst. "Do you think I asked for that? Do you think I asked for anything to happen this way!?"

[coolerthansora]

Great. Axel just punched himself. This is going really well. Is there something about Saix's body that just makes whoever in it want to punch people? Roxas ducks under the arm he's using to grab Saix so he can put himself between them and hopefully prevent this from going any further.

He's inclined to side with his best friend. Because they're friends, he feels sure that Saix did more wrong than Axel to get them to this point, but he really doesn't know. Saix is the one who was backing down, and does it even matter who's right if they'll only focus on the other one being wrong? He was never this bad with Riku, was he? As a third party, it's kind of annoying.

"You're both being really stupid. You've both got reasons to be pissed off, but yelling them at each other over and over doesn't change anything. If you don't want things to be this way, they don't have to be this way."

He looks from one to the other, silently wishing he were taller because he's pretty sure they can just glare at each other over his head.

"And if you start fighting now, no one's going to win 'cause I'll beat the crap out of both of you."

[goddammitaxel]

He's not expecting to be slugged in the face and when it happens, it's a surprise at how much more it seems to hurt. The shock is the one thing that keeps him from torching the entire house. He's just a bit wide eyed as Axel grabs at him and causes his hood to fall back, staring into those bright gold eyes that should be on his face. Something about seeing them flicker makes Saix's nerves go on edge, and he's immediately upset with himself. No, no, he's not going to be nervous around Axel, that's never happened before and he refuses to let it happen now.

Good thing Axel keeps talking, making the nervousness be replaced with anger that just keeps steadily rising with every word. He snarls right back the second he finds an opening. "That just makes it worse! The fact that if you could feel, if you could care, and you still betrayed me! You knew of everything I did for you, of everything that I was risking by trying to get so close to Xemnas, and you still-" Oh, Saix could keep on yelling. It feels good to really yell and feel so much rage flowing through his veins, different than how he's normally experienced for the last ten years. It feels pure, and hot, even with how much it seems to hurt from his throat tightening up and something pulling near his eyes that makes it a bit hard to see.

But then Roxas is between them, making it harder to focus on Axel or even just try to get a punch in himself- the fact that it's his body is irrelevant. Saix tries to take in a deep breath, but it's hard. His throat feels tight. As much as he's sure he'd like to fight over Roxas' decision, he knows he's going to be pathetically useless with fire powers or the chakrams Axel has. Saix tries to swallow again and jerk his way out of Axel's grasp.

"Just leave already."

[linefais]

Axel still has a firm grip when Roxas suddenly wiggles between them and he starts to calm down. Thankfully Roxas has that effect on him, even when he's like this. So as Saix's words just barely reach him, he loosens his grip and pushes him off and away so he can turn around again to face the Portal. He doesn't wan to see those reactions, doesn't want to believe that any of it is remotely real.

He should say more, but at the moment he fears that if he does, he'll just fly off the handle again. So without another word or so much as a glance at either of them Axel steps forward and disappears into the Darkness. It feels safe here, at least.

[coolerthansora]

Roxas hesitates to follow Axel. He doesn't know Saix very well, and he doesn't like him, but this is maybe the first time he's been able to see him not just as some jerk but as a person. It's not just that he's in Axel's body, either. They're still Saix's thoughts, and the feelings he'd have if he could feel.

"The Organization wasn't doing anything good to us. And I know when I chose to leave- I did it wrong." He left Axel behind. He glances towards the portal. He can't really speak for what Axel feels, so he isn't sure what else to say. With one last uncomfortable glance at Saix, he follows his friend into the portal.

[goddammitaxel]

"Everyone keeps saying that as if I didn't know," is probably the last thing Roxas will hear from him, the phrase full of bitterness and misery, more than he's used to. Needless to say, he won't be following. For one thing, it would just start another fight which is what they're trying to avoid. For another... He just needs a little while.

Just let him sit down and hug his dog for a bit. At least the dog understands him.