things that can only end well: THIS

[onlyasign]

Who: Sufferer and Bro
Where: The Plaza and then the world!
When: after the greatest rap off in history
Style: legend--wait for it!--DARY!
Status: closed

Sufferer is a nerd and arrives at 5:55 pm. What, he doesn't want to miss his meeting with Bro! He settles on a bench in the Plaza and looks around, waiting eagerly.

Comments

[stridercentric]

By now, they're approaching the bar that Bro has in mind, so he speeds up his stride just a bit. "Huh... I dunno if it's the same thing, but you could paint your ceiling black and then draw Alternia's constellations on there."

It's what Bro would do if he were in that position, anyway. If you miss something from your own world, try and duplicate it if it's possible. Or just replace it. There's no other choices anyway.

[onlyasign]

Sufferer actually stops walking for a moment at that suggestion, then hurries to catch up. "That's a great idea! I wonder if I could figure out a way to string up little lights too?" Sufferer no, that's a terrible plan, you should just ask Darkleer.

[stridercentric]

"Oh man. That'd be kind of amazing. You'd have your own starry sky under the starry sky."

Once he reaches the bar door, he pushes it open with one hand and stands back so Sufferer can enter. He's not even really thinking about what a gentlemanly gesture that is, he's just doing it.

[onlyasign]

While Bro might not realize he's being a gentleman, Sufferer does, and he nods at him as he walks through the door. "Thank you." He heads towards the bar itself; he doesn't drink often, but he certainly knows how, and orders a beer immediately.

[stridercentric]

Yes, beer. Good. None of those pussy drinks. Bro orders the same thing as he sits down at the bar, then slides a bowl of peanuts towards the Sufferer across the counter. Even in the semi-darkness of this place, he's still not removing his shades. He's just that good at seeing in the dark.

[onlyasign]

"Thank you." Sufferer likes peanuts, but since he's been fed already, he doesn't start pigging them down this time. No, he shows restraint and instead just takes a fistful. He sips his beer, enjoying the foam. "What's your favorite beer?"

He doesn't even comment on the shades, well aware that all Striders have vision like cats and can see in the dark.

[stridercentric]

Favorite beer? What kinda question is that? Beer is beer. If it were apple juice, that's another story. Apple juice has a variety of brands and brews and tastes. Only the true gentleman knows how to pick his AJ. But beer?

"Uh, I dunno. The alcoholic kind. I usually just grab a few sixpacks of Bootlegweiser or some shit." He picks up his own glass and swirls the contents around a little, watching the foam bubble in response. "The kind they serve at bars tastes better, but it's only one glass at a time so that's still a bullshit way to go."

[onlyasign]

Sufferer has yet to be educated on the intricacies of apple juice.

He takes Monsieur Plush Rump out of his hood and sets him up on the bar, missing the bartender's sidelong glance at the puppet. "Do you drink at home a lot then?" That sounds depressing, especially since, to the best of Sufferer's knowledge, Bro lives alone with Dave. "Do friends come over and drink with you?"

[stridercentric]

The moment Monsieur Plush Rump is set down, Bro grins widely and shoots him an ironic little wink from behind his shades. He loves free advertising. At the mention of "friends", though, that grin fades away again.

"Uh, no. Just me, back in Texas. Can't have too many loud drinking binges when you've got a kid in the apartment, you know. Gotta be responsible and set the right example and all that shit." He's totally not using Dave as an excuse for his lack of a social life. Nope.

[onlyasign]

"Ah." Poor Bro! Sufferer didn't have a lot of interaction during the first part of his life, but he more than made up for it later on. He's beginning to think these Striders have a lot more going on beneath the surface than they show the world. He lifts his beer glass in a salute. "Well, if you want to drink here, you can always call me, all right?"

[stridercentric]

Counting the Summoner, that makes two drinking buddies Bro has already. Which is... two more than he had back home. He'd count Lil Cal too, but let's face it, Cal can't handle his beer.

He nods his head with a grin, lifting his glass as well. "You got it, man. Here's to many more nights of boozing."

[onlyasign]

Sufferer and Summoner make the best drinking buddies, true story.

Sufferer smiles at that and drinks deep, draining the rest of his beer. He sets the glass on the bar with a clunk, and then raises an eyebrow at Bro. "Want to do some shots?"

He didn't help Psii throw up in twenty two little bushes by sticking to beer, that's for sure.

[stridercentric]

"Are you serious?" Sure, Sufferer just drained his beer in one go, but to picture this guy doing shots? Seems like a recipe for alcohol poisoning to Bro.

He chugs his own beer before responding. "I mean, I ain't against it, but don't come crying to me if you get so wasted you end up crapping yourself."

[onlyasign]

"Totally serious." Sufferer might be little, but he's all muscle. All lean, alcohol-absorbing muscle.

He laughs a little at Bro's dire prediction and flags down the bartender to order two shots of schnapps. Peach schnapps. Hey, he never said he had good taste! "Yeah, we'll see who ends up crapping his pants by the end of the night." He raises one tiny glass in another salute. "Cheers."

[stridercentric]

Ugh, peach schnapps. If Bro does end up crapping his pants, it's only because he had to gulp down vile pussy liquor. In a way, though, that makes the shots more challenging.

"Cheers, man." He doesn't even bother to raise the glass this time. He just throws it all back in one go and makes a bit of a face as it rushes down his esophagus.

[onlyasign]

Maybe drinking gross liqueur was Sufferer's plan all along.

Okay no, no it wasn't, he just likes sweet, fruity drinks and makes no apologies for it. He notices Bro's reaction though. "Why don't you pick the next one?" Already starting to get a pleasant buzz over here as the alcohol warms his stomach.

[stridercentric]

Sour expression on his face or not, he shakes his head fervently. He can do this, man. He's got this.

"Naw, man. Keep the sugary sweet shit coming. The bad taste in my mouth makes for a good challenge."

[onlyasign]

Oh, it is on. Sufferer flags down the bartender again, and this time, it's strawberry Pucker. "I'm going to make you eat those words."

And down the hatch it goes!

[stridercentric]

Strawberry pucker? More like strawberry puker. But not before Bro's beaten the Sufferer at this little game. Victory first, puking later. He picks up the shotglass, eyes the pinkish color for a few seconds, then downs it in one go.

"Is that the worst you can do? I've had onions that tasted sweeter than this crap."

[onlyasign]

Haha, nice. The problem here, of course, is that Sufferer actually likes the syrupy sweet taste of Pucker, he can drink this shit all night.

Which he is clearly prepared to do, as he has the bartender line up a row of brightly colored shot glasses for each of them. "It's like the hemospectrum!" He points at the glass of lime Pucker, starting to feel a little woozy already. "That's the one I would be if I wasn't a mutant!" And down the hatch the lime shot goes.

[stridercentric]

Even though Bro doesn't like the taste, he can keep drinking all night too. ... Probably. He knows his stomach's been through worse, but he never tried shots. Nobody to compete with, after all. The way he feels now, he figures he can go on for a while without any problems. His stomach's hardly objecting.

"Man. Looks like we're gonna taste the fucking rainbow and run the risk of diabetes." He gulps down a lime shot and reaches straight for the next one. He's not sure what this red shot is. Cherry, maybe? Cranberry? Whatever it is, it's going in.

[onlyasign]

Sufferer laughs a little too hard at the taste the rainbow comment, and follows Bro's lead, gulping down the cherry shot. The stomach might be fine, but who knows how the head is doing? "This one is the color of Dualscar!" Grape it is.

[stridercentric]

"It's also the color of the Grimace." He's not sure how his mind got to obscure McDonalds characters, but he's rolling with it. Down the chute and on to this orange one. He's always had a fondness for orange.

[onlyasign]

"What's a Grimace?" Aw yeah, orange now. Summoner colored!

[stridercentric]

"I dunno. It's purple and uh... Kinda a square." He pauses to gulp down the orange shot, then waves the empty glass idly. "It used to have four arms, I think? Way back before they made it a dorky sidekick to the burger clown."