it's hard and nobody understands

[kringlefuck]

Who: Jake English + Dirk Strider.
Where: Jake's room.
When: The evening of February 1st.
Style: Action pls.
Status: Private, but still on going. Continued from here.


<sub>[ The walk to his bedroom seemed to take forever, but he took it in silence as he guided his boyfriend-not-boyfriend thing to his bedroom for a feelings jam. A super feelings jam he should have approached much earlier than he did. He was going to do this right this time; no running away from your problems anymore. Jake had to remember to be as sensitive as possible, which was a daunting challenge for him.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he waited for Dirk to take a seat next to him before hanging in his head. ]</sub>

I'm terrified.

Comments

[shippingmath]

That's great for you.

[He relaxes his hands, then clenches them. He's not sure what to do with them. What to do with himself. Instead of doing anything, he holds still.]

Jesus, Jake, what do you even want here?

[kringlefuck]

_{[ Jake can tell Dirk is gradually losing patience, and he gulps audibly. ]}
For everfrigs sake, Dirk, you were the one who asked what was going on. Excuse me if I am being honest here.

I ... suppose I would like for us to both be happy. I mean, if you want to try it again with me, erm, I do not see anything wrong with that now that we know what the problem is and how to handle it.
Or, if that is something you would rather not try, we can just continue to be friends.
I do not want to lose you as a friend regardless.

It is your call.

[shippingmath]

And you're the one who knows!

[He can't stop the shout, but immediately after, he looks down sharply at his lap, and clenches his jaw shut. It takes several long moments before he speaks again. When he does, his voice is much quieter.]

There hasn't even been a fucking first time for me.

[He stands up, takes a half-step forward away from the bed.]

I don't know if I can do this.

[kringlefuck]

_{[ welp. ]}

..Okay, I mean, if that's what you feel is best for us. I figure it would only be humane to give you-- uh-- us another go since back in the session it was a doozy. And since I have a second chance to give us a second chance this way, I figure I would explain and offer.

_{[ He shifts a bit, lowering his voice. ]}

..Okay.

[shippingmath]

I don't know what the hell is best, Jake. Just give me a few fucking days.

[kringlefuck]

_{[ He wrings his hands together before standing up himself. ]}

Alright, uh. I understand. I think I'm going to step out of the house for a bit.

_{[ A pause. He advances to Dirk a bit, trying to read him a little better. ]}

Can I help you in any sort of way before I take my leave?

[shippingmath]

No, I'm fine. [Or, you know, he's not, but like hell is he going to break down about it right now. Not in front of Jake.]

I'm not gonna be here for a few days anyway. So. Y'know. Have fun with the house.

[kringlefuck]

_{[ Jake leans in a little more. ]}
Are you positive? I mean, I understand if you need space, but please don't be terribly upset.
And, uhm.

I'll.. be here if you need me. I won't ignore you anymore.
_{I'm sorry.}

[shippingmath]

Okay. Uh. Thanks. I'll just get out of your way now.

[He starts heading toward the door.]

[kringlefuck]

_{[ Jake shifts. ]}
Be back in time for the holiday.

[shippingmath]

[Dirk only barely avoids flinching.]

... Okay. I'll try that.