奥村 燐 | Okumura Rin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
keepsthefire) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
vatheon2012-10-08 05:45 pm
keepsthefire) wrote in vatheon2012-10-08 05:45 pm
Entry tags:
Plant your hope with good seeds, don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds...
Who: The Derpiest of DerpCouples
Where: Da Villa~
When: After this conversation
Style: Actioooon~
Status: Closed
[Maka had every right to yell at him. Rin didn't know just what had come over him, but thinking on it now, it scared him. He knew he was angry but he had been painfully unaware that he had lost so much faith in humanity during the weeks that the murders and other incidents were taking place. Each one had chipped away at him, riling him more and more until--...
He had snapped.
That was all there was to it.
He couldn't sleep, even after she had told him to. He just stared at the wall, arms hugged around his body, feeling cold even though the Villa was plenty warm inside.
What if she hadn't stopped him? What if he had gone after Riff like he had gone after Vanitas?
What if what if what if all all fucking what ifs.
How much longer would it be before he lost it again, became the monster he was trying so hard not to? How much longer until he hurt his friends again?
Maka?
His brother?
Questions he couldn't answer.
And neither could the wall he was staring at.]
Where: Da Villa~
When: After this conversation
Style: Actioooon~
Status: Closed
[Maka had every right to yell at him. Rin didn't know just what had come over him, but thinking on it now, it scared him. He knew he was angry but he had been painfully unaware that he had lost so much faith in humanity during the weeks that the murders and other incidents were taking place. Each one had chipped away at him, riling him more and more until--...
He had snapped.
That was all there was to it.
He couldn't sleep, even after she had told him to. He just stared at the wall, arms hugged around his body, feeling cold even though the Villa was plenty warm inside.
What if she hadn't stopped him? What if he had gone after Riff like he had gone after Vanitas?
What if what if what if all all fucking what ifs.
How much longer would it be before he lost it again, became the monster he was trying so hard not to? How much longer until he hurt his friends again?
Maka?
His brother?
Questions he couldn't answer.
And neither could the wall he was staring at.]
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[Give herself time to stew in resentment about her own failures.
No, she can't say that.]
I don't worry as much as I used to.
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[He knows it shouldn't surprise him, but it does. Maybe it's because he's actually hearing it now - like some part of him needed verbal confirmation to know that he was actually doing something right in his life after so many screw ups.]
I wanna rely on other people, but... I'm scared of losin' 'em, too...
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Mrs. Brisby lost her husband, you know. She had to raise her children alone and they're not even here in Vatheon. But she told me that even with loss, you can't stop. You always have to be strong. Even if you lose one person, there's always someone else that's relying on you. I've lost a lot of people that matter to me since I've been here, but she's right. I can't stop. She's relying on me to be strong and stay healthy, John and Rose are relying on me, you're relying on me...
Even if you don't realize it, there's always someone whose connection to you matters.
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[A tired sigh escapes. He's been running himself ragged. Again. For Alister's sake as well as so many others.
He's still not sure if sleep is going to come any time soon, though.]
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[And this is accompanied with some aggressive snugging, dammit.]
I think if you do the most good that you can, spread the most love and cheer that you can, be strong and happy...only good things can follow that. I don't think you necessarily CAN'T protect everyone, just that you shouldn't wear yourself out doing it, that would make them unhappy too.
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[Though he's not entirely sure how to accomplish both - protect everyone and not wear himself out in the meantime.]
... are you unhappy?
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Yup. That makes him happy.]
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...At least you're my dork.
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Or don't, that would wake him up again and it will be awful.
So she just gently presses a kiss to his forehead and lies back to wait for inevitable nap times.]
You're the strongest and kindest person I know, Rin. Remember that.
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[Yup. He's getting there. Eyes closing, breathing evening out... he might finally sleep well for the first time in weeks.
Although, sorry Maka. You might be pinned for the foreseeable future.]
I will... thank you, Maka...