vatheon | (no subject)

Entry tags:

fina,
ramirez

(no subject)

Who: Fina & Ramirez
Where: where Rami is staying
When: August 31

Fina hadn't spoken to Ramirez in a few weeks, especially since there was a long withdraw from Ramirez. She wasn't too sure whether or not he was actually serious on being around her and caring for her or if he was actually lying. She figured the best place to go was the place she met him at before, she took her good time approaching the building where they met before.

The blonde started to feel the sensation of disappointment when she didn't find him right away. By the time she found the bench that he was sitting on previously, she set down on it and lowered her gaze.

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In truth, Ramirez was every bit as unsure of her as she was of him. It seemed like she had disappeared as well; he kept checking the network for a sign of her, but never saw anything. Instead, all he found were these... sickening denizens of other worlds. It was hard to stay sane, or rather, whatever passed for sane for someone like Ramirez.

The sound of metal heels tapping against the concrete floor of the warehouse would probably alert the other Silvite to his presence. "I didn't think you would return," he confessed as he grew nearer, the dim light obscured by dust making him look more like a ghost than the person she knew, and apparently, still loved.

Ramirez took a seat next to her - a sign that he may just have started to regain some trust for her. "You are insistent about this."

Fina had a face that was slowly turning into a frown, she had been waiting a long time and she'd seen hide nor hair of Ramirez. Just as she was about to leave, she heard the sound of boots clicking against the ground and she raised her eyes to see Ramirez walking towards her. The frown that was starting to form, she raised her lips slowly into the shy smile he'd always seen on her face before they'd become enemies.

The smile that had really, truly always been for him. Fina kept her eyes in his direction and rested her hands on her knees,"Did you think that I was not going to come and visit you?" Fina thought of touching him but it was only a thought, she knew that it would have to be on his terms.

"I have missed you."

For some reason it was surreal, she felt that he was a ghost. The last time she'd seen Ramirez he was nothing more than a monster and then a crystal. The idea of the future he'd live yet to see had started to bother her.

"I don't know what to expect from you anymore," Ramirez replied, his voice still laced with just a hint of harshness, but it wasn't his usual hostility; it was more of a reluctance to allow himself to become vulnerable. He had already lost Fina twice, and the second time hurt so much more than the first.

He didn't want to put himself into a position where it could happen a third time.

"Did you?" he asked, taking a seat next to her, but with a fair amount of distance in between them. "Did you miss me after you left the Grand Fortress?"

Fina disliked the hate in his voice, the contempt and the frustration by merely being around her. A part of her wanted to be close as they once were but any time he opened his mouth it proved that he was much less accepting and different. The girl rested her hands against the top of her thighs and she thought of grimacing, she didn't even know what to do or say. The blonde girl went quiet when he questioned if she was truly missing him and she wanted to make sure she wasn't lying.

She remembered worrying about him, being upset over what had happened and left with a feeling of wanting to have him alone to herself. Every time she looked at him, she saw him as that monster he was and how he ended up just having what was left of his crystal.

"I did. I did not know you were alive, it was shocking. I was terrified of what might happen."

"And yet, you left anyway," he shot back, but rather than it sounding hostile, it sounded more annoyed and exasperated. It was painful. He remembered the feeling of betrayal as he saw her leave the Grand Fortress on the Little Jack, and the look of fear in her eyes as he handily defeated Vyse, Aika, and Gilder at Nasrad. It still stung, even if she seemed to want to make amends.

It wasn't something he could easily forget.

"Why do you insist on trying to make me forget that?"

"..You left me first, Rami-i-rez." Whether or not who left who, he left her first and abandoned her, allowing her to believe he was dead all this time. The sound of pain in her voice was more than evident than she really knew, the idea of him being dead for so long only to see him become a mere shadow of who he was. Ramirez was so bitter that every word he spoke to her had stung, she was almost certain he would keep on doing that.

Fina's eyes couldn't reach his gaze, she didn't need to see the likely horrible sneer on his face that was made just for her. "........." There was so much she wanted to say and none of it came out.

"You know why I did so," he responded, his voice... suddenly softer. Though he still did not look at her, this wasn't exactly easy for him, either. The whole time he was with Galcian after she left the Grand Fortress, he had convinced himself she had betrayed him, and therefore felt justified in being able to kill her if the need ever arose. Otherwise... it would have been the one thing he didn't think he could do if Galcian ordered him. Even if he would damn-well try.

He endured the silence from her for a minute, before he could finally not take any more of it. "You could have chosen not to leave with them," he stated, his voice... strained, tired, and moreover, more upset than angry or hateful.

Fina was not doing very well at making Ramirez settle down, it seemed he needed to diffuse himself and the only way to do that was to be completely silent. She was only speaking when she felt that it would not start to agitate him further, she felt the both of them had to atone for their versions of betrayal.

He for abandoning her and Fina for being to scared to trust Ramirez to keep her safe in Valua.

Moving her hand with gentle and relative ease, she placed it on top of his hand and held onto it. Fina had forgotten the warmth that his hands had to begin with, there were things that she'd forgotten about Ramirez. Ever recent memory was a threat, a sneer, a shout, a cry but nothing that was ever sane or positive. Fina placed her other hand on top of his own, resting it on her lap.

She did not look at him directly, her eyes were focused on the hand where his crystal had been. There was a part of her that wondered if she should be doing this at all, feeling this sensation that it was either a dream or pointless to try if she went home. Ramirez would not be there and she would be stuck as the only Silvite on the planet. The realization of this complete lonesome existence made her feel that her home in space was more of a home than what she had now.

"I was frightened, Ramirez..." She remembered the first time she saw his face after several years and it had no inclination of safety or the smile hidden there. "It was your face, it was like you were dead inside."

He nearly flinched as he felt her hands on his own, but he didn't pull his hand away. It felt nice. Like something he had been missing for years, if not a decade. But at the same time, it was bittersweet.

Fina was far more affectionate now than she had been in their own world. It was as if she knew something he didn't, or worse, was only doing this because Vyse and Aika weren't here.

"The Ramirez you knew is dead, Fina," he replied quietly. "He was dead the moment he realized just how disgusting the world is."

Oh, she knew what was going to happen and any time he repeated that Ramirez was dead, even if he meant it metaphorically. The feeling in itself was overwhelming and she couldn't help but release her palms from around his hand when he repeated it. She couldn't hear him say those words to her, the look of complete sadness was written across her face as clear as day.

"I understand, Ramirez...still. I see that you are different, do you think I would have been frightened of you if you had smiled at me? I knew you were different, I was hoping that you would not treat me as coldly as you did. You did things..." Fina shook her head, she could not explain further.

"I know what I did. And I have no regrets. I'd do them again without question if it was what Galcian wanted." No, he doesn't know about him nearly ripping the crystal right out of Fina's body. He's referring to shooting down the Little Jack and massacring the people of Nasrad. He's referring to butchering the crew of the Aquila, and selling his soul to Galcian shortly after.

He's referring to Galcian's plan to destroy all of Valua with the Rains of Destruction, something Ramirez won't lose a damn bit of sleep over.

"But if you truly believe things are-- can be different here... I will be willing to try."

It was sad that he did not know what was going to happen, how he would attempt to murder her for Galcian. Each moment was spent knowing of his future actions and wondering if he was going through that route and if he was trustworthy. She was becoming visibly upset as time continued on and she could not even pretend that she was perfectly fine. The despairing look on her face could leave her, she had to give up and stop him from talking.

Financial moved right beside him, her body slipped beside his so they were hip to hip. Gently, she raised her right hand and her hand delicately went over his lips, she couldn't bare to hear him talk anymore. "Stop. Please."

Fina said in the softest voice possible, she did not want to offend him or make him angry. She waited for him to respond before she decided to remove her had.

He could see how she was becoming upset. He didn't seem to care, at least, not at first. She had no idea how she had hurt him.

But what she did next made him physically tense up. She... how dare she. His first inclination was to draw his sword right now and run her through.

Until he realized how soft her voice was, and how she appeared to be shaking. Despite the rage simmering underneath Ramirez's skin for Fina's rather brazen move... he doesn't respond. At least, not physically. For now.

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