Guy Cecil ☼ [Gᴀɪʟᴀʀᴅɪᴀ•Gᴀʟᴀɴ•Gᴀʀᴅɪᴏs] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
relinquishing) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
vatheon2012-08-27 11:10 pm
relinquishing) wrote in vatheon2012-08-27 11:10 pm
Entry tags:
Is there something different?
Who: Guy Cecil and Luke fon Fabre
Where: Yutopil 1-5
When: Early morning of the 27th
Style: Brackets everywhere!
Status: Closed
[At this very moment, Guy just assumed that the curse had skipped him over. He was awake late enough to see the glow of the symbol on his right hand. He knew enough that he was expecting disaster. At least something.. awkward.
But no, it seemed like a perfectly normal morning. Luke was still around, although very much asleep. As far as he can tell from the SFC broadcasts, there isn't much that stands out.
Hmm.
Well, might as well stay optimistic until he knows what's going on. Still, the blonde doesn't seem to notice the extra spring in his step as he works around the apartment, poking his head every once in a while to check up on Luke. He's... certainly taking his time making sure that breakfast is alright.
This is completely normal, though!
...right?]
Where: Yutopil 1-5
When: Early morning of the 27th
Style: Brackets everywhere!
Status: Closed
[At this very moment, Guy just assumed that the curse had skipped him over. He was awake late enough to see the glow of the symbol on his right hand. He knew enough that he was expecting disaster. At least something.. awkward.
But no, it seemed like a perfectly normal morning. Luke was still around, although very much asleep. As far as he can tell from the SFC broadcasts, there isn't much that stands out.
Hmm.
Well, might as well stay optimistic until he knows what's going on. Still, the blonde doesn't seem to notice the extra spring in his step as he works around the apartment, poking his head every once in a while to check up on Luke. He's... certainly taking his time making sure that breakfast is alright.
This is completely normal, though!
...right?]
no subject
But he couldn't.
He couldn't, he couldn't, what could he even say or do to make this better?
Right now... nothing. He hates it - hates this, to be in a position of the guardian with no way to help the one he oversaw. But there was nothing he could do.
So he doesn't.
He lets the silence stay put for a long while, simply keeping his hold on the redhead and gently stroking his hair. It's only after the silence becomes uncomfortable that he finally speaks, quietly and... almost apologetically.]
...
...I'm sorry, Luke.
no subject
So when Guy speaks up, Luke's able to lift his head just slightly in acknowledgement and finally talk again.]
Sorry? [For the dreams he's having? Ha... but he sure deserves all these dreams.]
no subject
For being ignorant, I guess.
That you've had to do something like this alone.
That no one listened back then, when it mattered more than we thought... That no one's really listened now. [That he hasn't bothered to listen, even when he had the faith that Luke could make it through his mistakes.
His voice drops in volume, gaze glazing over.]
I don't care what it is a person might have done, what they're guilty or innocent of... No one deserves any of that.
no subject
Then comes that last part, and Luke turns his head away and rests his cheek against his knee instead of his chin. He mumbles at first, realizes that he's being too quiet, then shuts his eyes and speaks up.]
I deserve it.
[He does. He's absolutely sure. It's why, in a sense, Luke doesn't want to get help for this. Not when he'd done such horrible things, not when he has no other way to make up for them.
Saving St. Binah was not only something to focus on, not only a quest to save everyone as well as to stop the world from destroying itself further by his hand, but also a small form of atonement. Of course, he knew he could never fully make up for what he did. The weight of thousands of lives would bear down on his shoulders for as long as he lived. But if he could save this one city...]
no subject
[The protest is immediate, desperate and a little angry - the first sharp comment to leave his mouth the entire night. He winces against Luke's shoulder, swallowing his words and letting the silence hang awkwardly.
He doesn't seem to realize how tightly his fingers are gripping into Luke's shirt.]
No.
No, you don't. You never did.
[Pained. Vulnerable. But earnest. More earnest than he's ever sounded in his life, let alone around Luke.]
It may have been your body that was used. But that doesn't mean it's your fault, or that you deserve any of this.
You deserve to learn. You deserve just as much as much happiness as anyone else. You deserve a second chance without having the weight of the world on your shoulders.
That's.... That's why I came back for you...
[The words trickle to a halt, his grip finally easing up.
He knew Luke was capable of more. He always knew. Even when it looked like Luke had made the worst of mistakes - even when he assumed the absolute worst of his young master's character - he never thought the boy was any less deserving of a chance. As painful as it was to admit, Van had toyed with the boy far more than Guy could ever find comfortable now. It may have been Luke's hyperresonance and questionable dedication that destroyed the Sephiroth. But it was Van's intentions. Van's plan. Van's words. Van's subtle hins and tricks and abilities to take a clean slate and use it to his advantage.
A clean slate that Guy had a part in.
His spoiling.
His softness.
His apathy to letting Luke learn anything but the basics. The less you teach a foe, the easier they are to defeat.
He was the one who looked out for Luke. He was the one that was ultimately responsible for Luke's behavior and actions. Why he didn't know as much as he could have. Why he never questioned Van.
It wasn't Luke's fault. At that moment, all he was worth was a... weapon. A completely oblivious and willing toy. And the toy doesn't get to choose how it's used when someone decides to play around with it, does it?
Guy can't quite get the pit out of his stomach at the thought.]
no subject
It... wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve this. Lloyd was the first person to say that, even without knowing the details. Now Guy's saying it. Guy, who was there, who saw how Luke acted. Who thought little of him when Luke was panicked and in utter denial and fear.
And that's why he came back? Because he didn't deserve it?
...
Then why...
Then why did everyone else back home act like he did?
Suddenly, Luke feels like he needs to explain himself. Tell him just how helpless he was, now that Guy's not dismissing him and the situation entirely. It just... It seems like, to him, that it'll be the only chance he gets.
And when he speaks, his voice shakes.]
I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to. I couldn't control it. When... When Master Van called me foolish replica Luke, my body just - I couldn't even feel what I was doing anymore. Suddenly - It was like - like all of the fonslots in my body opened up by themselves, and there was this power rising up and there was nothing I could do about it - I couldn't even stop it -
no subject
[The description hardly settles well with him, although he isn't about to let that show on his features. His gut reaction wants to chide Luke for not making any more excuses than he has to, that it isn't going to help what happened. But that isn't what he chooses. That isn't what Luke needs right now - he needs to be listened to, to be heard out completely and understood. Guy can easily hear that tremor in the redhead's voice, like he was on the verge of crying but forcing himself to choke it back.
It wasn't the flustered tears of a spoiled child grasping at straws to make himself feel better. It was honest hurt. Confusion. And something else Guy couldn't really pinpoint.
...
He gives Luke a moment of silence, rubbing a palm against his back and letting him breath, before gently prodding with his own question.]
...What do you mean, they opened by themselves? Did he do something to you?
no subject
I don't... When we were on that ferry heading back to Baticul, I - I don't know. Something happened and - I blacked out. I thought I heard Master Van saying something to me, like "listen to my voice and relax", but I don't... I don't remember.
[One hand slides up to grip hard into his hair. How could that have happened? Why couldn't he control himself? He was trying to do what Van told him to on the ferry, to relax and focus on his fingertips, but it wasn't working and - ]
When it... When it was over, in Akzeriuth, I... before I passed out, Master Van, he... he said...
[The memory flashes through his head as he speaks.] "You've finally proven useful, replica."