vatheon | With me disaster finds a playfield [Open]

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With me disaster finds a playfield [Open]

Who: Riku Replica and anyone
Where: Plaza
What: Returning from Death #3
When: Friday June 8th (9 days after his death)

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His head was pounding as he blinked his eyes open. Oh no, he groaned inwardly, feeling completely drenched. At first he had to wonder if Demyx hit him with some powerful attack that had knocked him out. It was a possibility, given the the fact that much time had clearly passed in the day, all the way to another morning.

However, as he lay on his back, he started to mutter. "Can't believe I..." 'Fell for it' would have been next out of his mouth, but that was how he learned whose voice was coming out. His eyes darted all around, starting to panic.

"... Not again."

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Caden's reaction threw him for a moment. He knew who he was? Had he known Roxas when he'd been here before, that time he didn't remember?

Roxas eyed him suspiciously, taking a few steps closer. "Maybe you can explain first."

Zexion wasn't a friend and he wasn't exactly an ally either, so Roxas had no strong personal grudge on his account. But he was a Nobody, like Roxas and several of his friends; he needed to know if there was any danger to the people he did care about. And, there were a few other questions nagging him.

"You'll have to be more specific than that," Caden replied, a weariness in his voice. "I've done a lot of explaining lately. Sometimes better than others."

"Why'd you kill Zexion?" Roxas asked, for his part sounding annoyed. Was that specific enough for him?

Caden bit his lip, then looked up again through hooded eyes. "Which time?"

Telling Zexion that Axel had suggested it was one thing, but telling Roxas? He didn't know much about the relationship between the trio, but he knew they were close.

Roxas hesitated a moment at that. He'd heard about Axel's supposed involvement, but... even if he asked now, he wouldn't believe anything that didn't come straight from Axel.

"This time. Why'd you do it this time?"

"Because I thought he was someone else. Believe it or not, I didn't do it because I hated him, or because he said anything to me, or any reason that might make sense to you."

He sighed. "All of my memories are screwed up. Sometimes things... get more screwed up, I think."

The frown on his face only deepened. Screwed up memory, he could understand. But even so...

"Who did you think he was?"

That was a question he would prefer answered as well.

"Someone pretending to be him. Maybe Xehanort, maybe Vexen, maybe someone else- To get to me, to make me... do something, exactly like what I did."

"...I don't get it. He really was Zexion, so- you're saying he provoked you?" He didn't really know the guy, but it still didn't seem like him.

"Whoever it was, yes. I thought they were planning on..." He looked away, dread filling his mind. "Resetting my memories, I guess. Make me think I was Riku again, and probably forget Vatheon too."

Roxas kept a hard gaze on Caden. On the one hand, he could understand not wanting to lose memories--it was something he'd fight against with everything he had. But, he still felt like he was missing something here.

"Why'd you think he wanted to do that? Why'd you think he wasn't really Zexion?"

"Because he looked like Zexion, but didn't have the right scent to him. I know Zexion's illusions - and finally figured out that it wasn't the same kind. Then when I attacked, that person went away, and Zexion was behind him."

He clenched his fists, but didn't turn away. "It wasn't supposed to be Zexion that I struck."

"So... there was someone else."

He might not have bought that, except that he still didn't know who had strung up Caden's body. He was sure it hadn't been Demyx.

"Someone's screwing with us."

His head snapped up. "You're not angry? You believe me?"

Hope was pretty much the most powerful thing you could give him in this moment. Every time he'd died, the circumstances had been such that he didn't look forward to coming back. This had been no different - worse in fact.

He was definitely angry; for once he could really and truly feel it. But looking at Caden, Roxas realized the anger wasn't really directed at him. It was that frustration of not knowing what was going on. He didn't know who to be angry at, not yet.

He nodded, slowly. "But that doesn't mean I trust you. You still killed somebody. And if he'd been a friend..."

"Then I'd have known their scent sooner," he answered, a little upset about the trust issue. Not that he blamed Roxas for feeling that way, especially when they hadn't been the best of friends anyway. It still hurt though.

"It was self-defense, okay? I don't just run around killing people for fun!"

"I'm supposed to know that? I've never-- I don't remember ever meeting you before."

It probably didn't help that Caden was wearing the face of someone else he didn't trust either.

Now that got him.

"So I'm automatically dangerous just because you don't know me and I know how to use a keyblade? Or is it my taste in clothes?" He left his hands wide to indicate the darkness uniform complete with hula skirt. "I didn't pick any of this, you know - any more than you picked spiky blond hair that resembles someone I do happen to trust."

"You're dangerous because you killed someone. I don't care who you thought you were attacking, you don't have to kill someone to stop them. That's a choice."

It had nothing to do with the keyblade, or the darkness, but with that face, Roxas couldn't help feeling he made the same kinds of bad choices as Riku. The kinds of choices that screwed other people over -- and it certainly seemed to hold up in this case.

That anger inside him seemed to be happy to find a target, although as he clenched a fist at his side, he also felt a sudden stab of... fear? In this state, as a simple human, he was practically defenseless. No, not that he really thought Caden would attack him, but logic didn't make the feeling go away.

He cocked his head and looked completely amazed. "You've never killed someone - ever? Not even on accident?"

He was torn between calling him lucky and in denial. Surely someone else being used and abused by the Organization had been forced to do something as notorious and distasteful to Roxas as he seemed to feel.

"I didn't plan on killing whoever it was - no matter who it was - that had me cornered like that. I just attacked."

He didn't remember about Xion.

"I haven't," Roxas said bluntly. That wasn't to say that he'd never wanted to; if he'd been able to get his hands on DiZ, he couldn't say what he might have done. But he had some idea of what it was like, from when Sora had killed Demyx, and it bothered him. To end someone's existence...

And he was calling it an accident?

Roxas shook his head. "Then you don't know how to hold back."

"Wh-?" He was floored. "What? Hold back? Why would you ever hold back when attacking someone you thought was going to scramble you back to square one? Make you forget who you are - all over again? I'm not sorry for what I did. I don't remember it, but at some point Riku and I met, and I knew I was his replica. I don't remember it, but I wish I had stayed that way. It's better than this - of reminding myself every day that the memories I have aren't mine, that my name isn't Riku even though that's what rolls off my tongue the easiest, that..."

He realized then he'd started hunching forward in anger, fists balled at his waist. So, he relaxed and stood up straight again. "That everything I work towards, every... single... day... is for earning my own identity."

"Yeah, I'd fight that." He had, hadn't he? Was part of the reason for his anger now the thought that maybe, he hadn't fought hard enough? "But you didn't even know who it was. You didn't know what they were doing."

Roxas's own fists were clenched, but he didn't relax. "And you're not the only one who has to deal with stuff like that."

He crossed his arms. "If your way's so much better, why are you still dealing with it?"

Caden knew why HE was still dealing with. He didn't know how long he'd been around at Castle Oblivion, but he'd been around this was place was at least ten times longer by his own estimation. That meant he'd screwed up so much back then that it was taking this long to sort himself out.

"Go on. Tell me what you would've done. Defended until that thing wore you down and took you out, so you'd have died anyway?"

"I..."

If he'd fought like Caden was suggesting, like it was kill or be killed... would he be better off? If he'd fought like that, maybe he'd still be around back home. Maybe he could have been able to consider going back.

But, it would mean that certain other people might not be there. As much as he hated what Riku had done to him, he didn't want him dead. The part of him that was Sora wouldn't have been able to forgive that. And what if he'd fought like that with Axel?

"I'd have tried to knock them out first. It would've worked on Zexion. What you're talking about, that's a last resort."

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With me disaster finds a playfield [Open]

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