vatheon | Goodies and trinkets and rumpets and bobs!

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Goodies and trinkets and rumpets and bobs!

Who: Equius Zahhak and Gamzee Makara, with possible guest appearances by Darkleer
Location: The Hive of Inappropriate Touching and Hugs
Time: Backdated to Christmas morning
Style: STRONG and cLoWnY
Status: Closed

[Equius has been in Vatheon long enough to know that when the locals insist on you doing something, it's best to just listen and do what they say. So he dutifully hung up a stocking (a long, pin-striped one), although he's still not quite sure why, and made out with his matesprit under some mistletoe, and found some gifts for his friends. Then he curled up in bed like normal and went to sleep.]

[Which he still would be--asleep, that is--were it not for the sudden introduction of a heavy, feathery butt on his head and loud, excited kwehing in his ear. It seems the chocobos are awake and worked up about something.]

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[It's a soft moan that Gamzee soon mirrors. Because with the way Equius is shifting underneath him, and the way he is pressing closer, he can press his bulge up against his hip as well, and oh fuck, that feels kind of wonderful. Also abjectly terrifying and really adult in a way Gamzee isn't sure he is ready for yet. But also amazing.]

Ahem.

[This is not the sort of thing he wanted to wake up to this morning. This is why he should never sleep. Weird things always seem to happen when he dares to go to sleep or try a regular sleeping schedule. ]

[Not that this is particularly weird. Just awkward. Darkleer wishes he could say just what makes this so awkward, because god knows he's stumbled onto similar (or worse) with subordinates or squadmates, but...]

[Listen, he doesn't have to explain himself to you, narration. It's just awkward.]

[Not that the level of awkward he feels is apparent on his face. It's the same stoic expression as usual. Thank god for glasses.]

Equius. Gamzee. Good morning.

[Please kindly untangle and remember that you are living with another person now. Please.]

[The first soft cough almost has Gamzee asking if Equius caught a cold but then those words come and he shoots backward as if burned. That is not what he had been expecting.

He scoots backwards until he goes tumbling off of Equius' lap, landing (harmlessly) on his ass on the ground, his legs still on the couch, and his face so bright indigo it is nearly radiating.

And still. You know. Kinda hard. And shirtless. And.

Oh god could the fuckin' earth just chomp him up right now? That'd be cool.]

[Equius is a little slower on the uptake, maybe because most of the blood in his body is diverted southward and things are feeling awfully muzzy up in his head. He blinks when Gamzee jerks away from him and goes topping off the couch, and his hands hover in the air, where they had just seconds before been touching his matesprit's hips. Hopefully that doesn't draw attention to the... yeah, it totally draws attention to the massive railroad spike he's sporting.]

[Oh. Oh, hey, it's Darkleer! Equius turns his head and offers a dazed, silly grin.]

Good morning, Dark...

... leer...

[OH SWEET SUFFERING TROLL JESUS, WHAT?!]

[Already flushed, Equius now looks like someone threw a bucket of blue paint on him and splashed it all over his skin in big, embarrassing blotches, and in a flurry of motion, he goes to grab a pillow off the couch to cover himself.]

[But of course, he's Equius, and unless he's concentrating, he can't control his strength, and the pillow explodes under the pressure of his grip, sending a blizzard of white feathers up into the air.]

[Oh, to be young and in no control of hormones. He faintly remembers going through that same period in life. Not 'faintly' because he's old, but 'faintly' because he has been doing his best for sweeps to completely forget it.]

[As pillows explode everywhere, Darkleer just sighs and closes his eyes. Adolescence is a horrible thing.]

You two may want to clean that up and have cold showers. [Or.. you know, other methods. But he won't mention those.] Equius, when you're done, I believe we'll need to have a talk.

[And oh god, it is not a talk he is ready for.]

Edited 2012-01-10 06:46 (UTC)

[Gamzee kind off awkwardly shuffles some of the feathers up into a pile before he grabs his abandoned shirt, kind of scrambling up from the floor, his cheeks still burning.]

I. Uh. Clothes.

[And yep, he's absconding right up the stairs, slamming a door behind him once he gets there.

It is not a bedroom door. Screw you, Zahhak. In times of love and inappropriate boners, it is every troll for himself.]

... yes, sir.

[Equius is buried under a little drift of feathers, many of which are sticking to the sweat on his bare skin, and he can't meet Darkleer's eyes for anything. Instead, he keeps his head down and makes a mental call for RoboEquius, who trips down the stairs moments later with the vacuum cleaner, for once eager and happy to help with housework.]

[And yeah, he knows Gamzee is in the bathroom, so he's just going to sit here as RoboEquius fusses around him cleaning up, breathing deep and trying to will his erection away, hoping Darkleer will leave and he can make his retreat to the bathroom as soon as Gamzee is done.]

[... and he hopes Gamzee hurries up, or there's going to be some unpleasantness in the kitchen sink soon.]

[Stay out of that kitchen sink, Equius, he's going to be using that! Because right now, Darkleer is going to try and wipe this incident clean from his mind and just focus on a retreat of his own to the kitchen. Breakfast. Yeah. That is a thing he should be focusing on.]

[Luckily for the sink, and Equius, and Darkleer, after a not too long there is the sound of a bathroom door opening, shutting and then the same happening to the bedroom one. Yep. Gamzee is done. Ask him no details. Ever. Please.

Aaaand, he is in no hurry to come downstairs. Gotta fix his face, you know. At least if he has the paint on, it won't show when he flushes looking Darkleer or Equius in the face.]

[And as soon as he hears that door open and close, Equius is up and running up the stairs, leaving a trail of feathers behind him.]

[No comment. Only breakfast foods. Darkleer can wait. He really, really can.]

[Once Equius is done with... with things, he dawdles as long as he conceivably can before slouching back downstairs. He's dressed now, with a clean face and combed hair, and he slips into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table, just waiting for the inevitable lecture. The only reason he's showing his face at all is because he ~~loves~~ respects Darkleer so much and doesn't want to disappoint him.]

[If it makes Equius feel any better, this is going to be horrifically embarrassing for both of them.]

[Once Equius sits down, Darkleer does one final check of everything before he takes the seat opposite of him.]

First of all, I'm not going to scold you. You're at that age where it would be inane to expect you to not desire... intimacy with your quadrants. Simply try to keep it... behind closed doors.

Secondly, I believe it's time someone took you aside and discussed pails with you.

[It takes so much to just say that sentence. What has he gotten himself into?]

[Technically, he and Gamzee were behind closed doors, but Equius understands the sentiment. He gets it: keep the affection in places where Darkleer won't stumble across them. After this embarrassing little fiasco, he'll be certain to do that.]

[The relief of not getting chewed out is short-lived, though, because then Darkleer mentions pails, and Equius is so surprised that he jolts in his seat, almost knocking himself over. Pails? Oh god, they're going to talk about pails now?]

Um... yes, sir.

[He probably looks like an antlerbeast caught in the headlights right now, and he doesn't even care.]

[What, does Equius thinks he wants to have this conversation? Darkleer has so many better things he could be doing than giving the pail talk. They are all so preferable to this moment. But he's still going through with it.]

[Darkleer's life, everyone.]

I understand it feels very pleasant, but you're still only six sweeps. There isn't any rush for you to... go through with such things, particularly since the drone isn't present here. Try not to be too tempted with the idea.

[Oh god, let the bubble break and drown them both right now.]

Still, just in case... Is that something you would want to keep in the house, just in case?

[Right. now.]

You... you're asking... a pail... what...

[Equius is just going to cross his arms and drops his face into them, shaking his head back and forth. No, he doesn't think they need a pail around the house, thank you very much! That is not a thing that needs to happen!]

No.

[Thank god.]

[Darkleer doesn't say that aloud, however.]

The only reason I mention it is because we are now missing one pillow and I doubt we will see Gamzee for another few hours at least. If this is the sort of thing you need, don't hesitate to tell me of it.

... uh huh. I mean, yes sir.

[Equius will never ask Darkleer to get him a pail. Ever.]

Can we... just eat breakfast now? Or something?

[Anything?]

Of course.

[And then they never spoke of this ever again.]

[Oh, did Darkleer think it would be that easy? Because Equius has another question. He just needs to distraction of eating while he mulls over how to ask it.]

Darkleer?

[Having sons is a horrible and fantastic experience. Right now mostly the former. Darkleer looks up.]

Yes?

[There's no way to ask this except to just blurt it out. Which is exactly what Equius does.]

How old were you when you got enough control over your STRENGTH that it stopped being an issue and you could pail someone?

[Why yes, Darkleer, Equius just did basically ask you when you lost your virginity.]

Goodies and trinkets and rumpets and bobs!

Lets

Children pls

grabbing so kathryn has more to lol at in the morning

1/3, and there was just lol-ing, indeed

2/3

3/3

Re: 3/3

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I have no appropriately horrified icon for this

you should change that /chinhands

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1/2

2/3 I lied

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