Goodies and trinkets and rumpets and bobs!

[stayb100ponyboy]

Who: Equius Zahhak and Gamzee Makara, with possible guest appearances by Darkleer
Location: The Hive of Inappropriate Touching and Hugs
Time: Backdated to Christmas morning
Style: STRONG and cLoWnY
Status: Closed

[Equius has been in Vatheon long enough to know that when the locals insist on you doing something, it's best to just listen and do what they say. So he dutifully hung up a stocking (a long, pin-striped one), although he's still not quite sure why, and made out with his matesprit under some mistletoe, and found some gifts for his friends. Then he curled up in bed like normal and went to sleep.]

[Which he still would be--asleep, that is--were it not for the sudden introduction of a heavy, feathery butt on his head and loud, excited kwehing in his ear. It seems the chocobos are awake and worked up about something.]

Comments

[stayb100ponyboy]

[And as soon as he hears that door open and close, Equius is up and running up the stairs, leaving a trail of feathers behind him.]

[aim_exorable]

[No comment. Only breakfast foods. Darkleer can wait. He really, really can.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Once Equius is done with... with things, he dawdles as long as he conceivably can before slouching back downstairs. He's dressed now, with a clean face and combed hair, and he slips into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table, just waiting for the inevitable lecture. The only reason he's showing his face at all is because he loves respects Darkleer so much and doesn't want to disappoint him.]

[aim_exorable]

[If it makes Equius feel any better, this is going to be horrifically embarrassing for both of them.]

[Once Equius sits down, Darkleer does one final check of everything before he takes the seat opposite of him.]

First of all, I'm not going to scold you. You're at that age where it would be inane to expect you to not desire... intimacy with your quadrants. Simply try to keep it... behind closed doors.

Secondly, I believe it's time someone took you aside and discussed pails with you.

[It takes so much to just say that sentence. What has he gotten himself into?]

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Technically, he and Gamzee were behind closed doors, but Equius understands the sentiment. He gets it: keep the affection in places where Darkleer won't stumble across them. After this embarrassing little fiasco, he'll be certain to do that.]

[The relief of not getting chewed out is short-lived, though, because then Darkleer mentions pails, and Equius is so surprised that he jolts in his seat, almost knocking himself over. Pails? Oh god, they're going to talk about pails now?]

Um... yes, sir.

[He probably looks like an antlerbeast caught in the headlights right now, and he doesn't even care.]

[aim_exorable]

[What, does Equius thinks he wants to have this conversation? Darkleer has so many better things he could be doing than giving the pail talk. They are all so preferable to this moment. But he's still going through with it.]

[Darkleer's life, everyone.]

I understand it feels very pleasant, but you're still only six sweeps. There isn't any rush for you to... go through with such things, particularly since the drone isn't present here. Try not to be too tempted with the idea.

[Oh god, let the bubble break and drown them both right now.]

Still, just in case... Is that something you would want to keep in the house, just in case?

[Right. now.]

I have no appropriately horrified icon for this

[stayb100ponyboy]

You... you're asking... a pail... what...

[Equius is just going to cross his arms and drops his face into them, shaking his head back and forth. No, he doesn't think they need a pail around the house, thank you very much! That is not a thing that needs to happen!]

No.

you should change that /chinhands

[aim_exorable]

[Thank god.]

[Darkleer doesn't say that aloud, however.]

The only reason I mention it is because we are now missing one pillow and I doubt we will see Gamzee for another few hours at least. If this is the sort of thing you need, don't hesitate to tell me of it.

[stayb100ponyboy]

... uh huh. I mean, yes sir.

[Equius will never ask Darkleer to get him a pail. Ever.]

Can we... just eat breakfast now? Or something?

[Anything?]

[aim_exorable]

Of course.

[And then they never spoke of this ever again.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Oh, did Darkleer think it would be that easy? Because Equius has another question. He just needs to distraction of eating while he mulls over how to ask it.]

Darkleer?

[aim_exorable]

[Having sons is a horrible and fantastic experience. Right now mostly the former. Darkleer looks up.]

Yes?

[stayb100ponyboy]

[There's no way to ask this except to just blurt it out. Which is exactly what Equius does.]

How old were you when you got enough control over your STRENGTH that it stopped being an issue and you could pail someone?

[Why yes, Darkleer, Equius just did basically ask you when you lost your virginity.]

1/2

[aim_exorable]

2/3 I lied

[aim_exorable]

[WELP]

[IT'S HIS DESCENDENT ALRIGHT]

[LACK OF SOCIAL TACT JUST LIKE DA'.]

[aim_exorable]

I would say... around eight sweeps, or nearing that. Then again, it was more circumstances that decided it than when I had any control over myself.

[It was also something of a disaster. Oh, his first flushed romance... Wasn't that just a perfect disaster?]

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Oh, of course, the drones. Equius should have known.]

Well, when did you get enough control that you could... make it good for the other troll?

[Wow, that sure is an interesting piece of toast! Better examine it with all the intensity of a burning sun!]

[aim_exorable]

...Equius, eat your breakfast.

[NOT EVER ANSWERING THAT.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

... yes, sir.