Hosokawa-Akechi Gracia ❝ガラシャ❞ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kagayakashi) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
vatheon2012-05-07 01:49 am
kagayakashi) wrote in vatheon2012-05-07 01:49 am
Entry tags:
☆` to protect the ones we love
Who: Gracia and Hideyoshi (bountyofthesun).
When: After the crossover dream event.
Where: Dun dun dunnnnn! The casino, nearing dusk.
Style: Prose would be cool, though I'm fine if you prefer [ Action! ] tags :)
Status: Closed.
The past few months had been difficult on her and her family. Though the catalyst for the explosion of tense emotions came in the form of a certain individual with whom she would be meeting in a few minutes, Gracia was not so much a fool as to ignore the fact that from the beginning, the fear was always there. It lurked and lingered in the hearts of both her and her father, that perhaps, on more than one occasion, its presence was so well-known that they've misjudged it was ever there at all. Though she was naturally bright and cheerful, Gracia was no stranger to the looming gray cloud of sadness that popped up now and again. When it meant itself to be felt, it made itself felt strongly, and deeply, and painfully. No matter how genuinely she laughed and smiled, Gracia was in no ways immune to the feeling of despair. She had felt it herself back home, and she's felt it numerous times in Vatheon as well. And when she's free from its binding shadow, she feels it through the pain she sees in the eyes of her beloved father.
All that made the last event overwhelmingly heartbreaking for her to bear with. Witnessing the dream Mitsuhide had - Honnoji's flames eating up at his gentle heart - and her own nightmares about Yamazaki, the rain that threatened to engulf her entire existence...the wounds were re-opened, fresh and ready to bleed. But Gracia tried her hardest to hold back her emotions as she walked towards the one place she was sure no one would see them meet. (She was already told once that if she showed how she really felt, Hideyoshi would have the upper hand, and she would never have that.) The redhead looked up at the tall building, the flashing neon sign "CASINO" slightly piquing her interest. She messaged Hideyoshi earlier that day to meet with her here, in secret, though she never really stated her intentions. Just come, she said, and she'd reveal herself then.
And why the casino? Simply because it was the safest place for her to speak with Hideyoshi without anyone seeing them. Initially, she wanted the forest, or somewhere in the plaza. But she remembered how often her father dwelt in the forest, and how many people were always in the plaza. So she explored and eventually, she came across this. She had heard from the locals that it was a place of gambling. Oh, she was there to gamble, but on different stakes, and with very little profit to be gained. (Maybe if things went her way, this would all change...?)
She walked in and was immediately taken with the atmosphere, curiosity kicking in like her built-in safety net. And as she circled the area, staring at the games, the plush linings on the walls, Gracia repeated in her head a mantra she never got tired of saying; I'm doing this for my father. I'm doing this for my father. She promised not to hurt Hideyoshi, not to involve herself with him, to only defend out of love, and not out of hate. That late afternoon, she would do just that, even if no one would know.
She stopped in front of a strange looking machine with a protruding lever on one side, waiting patiently for him to come. She prepared her words, her reaction seeing his face again, setting aside all the anger and the frustration...the past few months was difficult for her and her family, but she was going to do her part in saving them from the pain.
Gracia promised. She'd protect her father, forever.
bountyofthesun).When: After the crossover dream event.
Where: Dun dun dunnnnn! The casino, nearing dusk.
Style: Prose would be cool, though I'm fine if you prefer [ Action! ] tags :)
Status: Closed.
The past few months had been difficult on her and her family. Though the catalyst for the explosion of tense emotions came in the form of a certain individual with whom she would be meeting in a few minutes, Gracia was not so much a fool as to ignore the fact that from the beginning, the fear was always there. It lurked and lingered in the hearts of both her and her father, that perhaps, on more than one occasion, its presence was so well-known that they've misjudged it was ever there at all. Though she was naturally bright and cheerful, Gracia was no stranger to the looming gray cloud of sadness that popped up now and again. When it meant itself to be felt, it made itself felt strongly, and deeply, and painfully. No matter how genuinely she laughed and smiled, Gracia was in no ways immune to the feeling of despair. She had felt it herself back home, and she's felt it numerous times in Vatheon as well. And when she's free from its binding shadow, she feels it through the pain she sees in the eyes of her beloved father.
All that made the last event overwhelmingly heartbreaking for her to bear with. Witnessing the dream Mitsuhide had - Honnoji's flames eating up at his gentle heart - and her own nightmares about Yamazaki, the rain that threatened to engulf her entire existence...the wounds were re-opened, fresh and ready to bleed. But Gracia tried her hardest to hold back her emotions as she walked towards the one place she was sure no one would see them meet. (She was already told once that if she showed how she really felt, Hideyoshi would have the upper hand, and she would never have that.) The redhead looked up at the tall building, the flashing neon sign "CASINO" slightly piquing her interest. She messaged Hideyoshi earlier that day to meet with her here, in secret, though she never really stated her intentions. Just come, she said, and she'd reveal herself then.
And why the casino? Simply because it was the safest place for her to speak with Hideyoshi without anyone seeing them. Initially, she wanted the forest, or somewhere in the plaza. But she remembered how often her father dwelt in the forest, and how many people were always in the plaza. So she explored and eventually, she came across this. She had heard from the locals that it was a place of gambling. Oh, she was there to gamble, but on different stakes, and with very little profit to be gained. (Maybe if things went her way, this would all change...?)
She walked in and was immediately taken with the atmosphere, curiosity kicking in like her built-in safety net. And as she circled the area, staring at the games, the plush linings on the walls, Gracia repeated in her head a mantra she never got tired of saying; I'm doing this for my father. I'm doing this for my father. She promised not to hurt Hideyoshi, not to involve herself with him, to only defend out of love, and not out of hate. That late afternoon, she would do just that, even if no one would know.
She stopped in front of a strange looking machine with a protruding lever on one side, waiting patiently for him to come. She prepared her words, her reaction seeing his face again, setting aside all the anger and the frustration...the past few months was difficult for her and her family, but she was going to do her part in saving them from the pain.
Gracia promised. She'd protect her father, forever.
no subject
And he'd always been a gambling man, too. That was why he was here, wasn't it?
Most people would probably not have said that they were scared of Akechi Gracia. But most people got into all sorts of trouble by underestimating other people just because they were sweet young girls, or scrawny monkey-faced peasants for the matter. Anyone could be dangerous when they had something to protect, or when they were thought that they were being righteous. And still, he'd agreed to meet her, and he came without his armor and without any weapons. She wasn't his enemy. It wasn't her fault, how she happened to be born.
And if he wanted to bag his real enemy, he couldn't afford to lose focus. Couldn't afford to alienate anyone in Vatheon that he didn't have to. Couldn't move too soon.
He wanted to hear her out.
At last he sighed to himself, turned his back on the casino's myriad wonders and went looking for her. He was still smiling to himself - the atmosphere in the place had made him cheerful and he went along with that. No point in fretting - that couldn't possibly help anything. If the week of nightmares, Mitsuhide's nightmare, had cost him any sleepless nights of his own, it didn't show on him. What was one more sleepless night, anyway? That was just life. He'd had plenty of them before and he would have them again when he was back in his world. Really, he ought to be grateful for the reminder.
There she was, now, no mistaking her. He raised a hand as he came through the crowd, to call attention to himself - if she wanted a moment to steel herself as he approached before they talked, he wouldn't resent her that.
"Why, hello there," he said, with surprisingly sincere good humor. "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"
no subject
And yet there he was, jolly and merry, as if the nightmares didn't faze him one bit. As if it didn't matter. Gracia wasn't sure if she was offended at his lack of seriousness, or jealous that he could pull it off so well. Was this what Gorthan was talking about? About controlling emotions, and using that to defeat the enemy?
One other thing confused her. Gracia waited for him to come closer to her proximity before tilting her head, staring at him with slightly squinted eyes.
"What am I...doing here?" She blinked. "Did you not receive the message I sent you earlier today? Oh, did I forget to press the send button?" She fished out for her SFC and started fumbling with it, completely unaware that it was all part of his facade. The smile, the wave, everything.
But it all flew past her. She tried her best to deal with "adult" matters - as she adamantly pursues the idea that besides the physical, she too, was no longer a child - even if most of the time, she didn't really understand what it was exactly she was doing.
no subject
It wasn't fair. So what if she was a victim of circumstances? So was he. So were a whole lot of people. Mitsuhide hadn't spared Nobunaga's sons. No one spared the orphans of however many more years of war that Honno-ji had bought for the land. And if he let the bitterness and anger get the better of him now, then there was no point to this whole exercise. Smile, he told himself, she isn't your enemy and she doesn't need to be your friend. Just smile. Keep her off her balance and she can't do the same to you.
"Oh, no, no - " he quickly held up both hands and shook his head. "I got it all right. That's why I'm here. Whew..." he sighed a little. "It'd sure be a shame if you got your father's sense of humor..."
Not all of it was intended to keep her off balance, no - some of it was just him, being what he was, doing what he did. Making conversation, laughing because what was the other option? There was no reason for them not to talk like civilized people, maybe even like adults. He didn't hate her, however much she might have expected otherwise. It was still in many senses news to him that he could hate anyone.
no subject
When she replied, she didn't sound too pleased. In fact, she may have sounded just a tad bit pouty. "There's no shame in having my father's sense of humor. He's funny when he wants to be..."
And she may be getting distracted too much with the atmosphere, and the fact that she was using it as a means to avoid directly confronting Hideyoshi in a rush — because she doesn't know how exactly these things happen. Gracia looked down at the floor and waited for him to say something, anything, just so she could answer back with all the things she had bottled in for so long, since he arrived in the city. How do you chatter so amiably with an enemy? Hideyoshi knew, didn't he? So the ball was certainly in his court at the moment.
no subject
He could call the Akechis a lot of things, but neither of them were cowards.
"Hmpf!" he crossed his arms and looked at her - he couldn't quite look down at her but he could make a reasonable impression of it. "Your father wouldn't know a joke if it chewed on his fancy pretty hair!" He could go on like this for a while, just teasing her as if there was any hope of her reciprocating. Except that that would only be cruel.
Gracia could call him a lot of things, surely, but even she couldn't say that he was casually cruel.
"All right," he sighed again. "Let's get this over with. You wanted something, didn't you? Other than to make me feel awkward."
no subject
At least they were getting some leeway on the situation. Gracia turned her head slightly to the side to glance back at him, all smug and sighing and tired of all this silliness. Maybe they were on the same page after all? The sooner she got this out of the way, the better.
The redhead faced him once more, but didn't speak. She puffed up her cheeks and began walking away from the center spectacle of the casino, to an even noisier part of the gambling parlor. Gracia stopped once in a while to check if he was following, and when they reached a semi-crowded area by the slot machines (strange things, they were...), Gracia stopped. She looked around, wide eyes darting from left to right, and her senses on high alert...With this much background noise, only they could hear one another.
Perfect.
She took a deep breath and she hummed with some sense of conviction. "What I want from you isn't anything material. What I want from you is..."
Gracia clenched her fists until she felt her nails digging in the skin of her palms. She couldn't afford to hesitate now, not after waiting so long to tell him. She was scared, because what if things don't go her way, what if her father found her out -
- well. It was too late to back down now. And she was not the type of person to give up. Not when it came to protecting the one she loved the most.
She held her breath and continued to speak in a serious tone, a quiet yet strong reply. "I want you to leave my father alone. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, don't...don't do anything!"
Don't make it harder for him to smile than it already is.
no subject
So he followed her, quiet and accepting, with no attempt to dodge or protest or question. Let her choose. He could afford that if he was the one on high ground. Let her talk. What could anything she could possibly say change?
"Ah," he said quietly when she was finished.
Part of him could think of nothing to do but stand there and stare at her, as though what she said made absolutely no sense whatsoever, which it didn't. What did she think - that after all he'd said and done already, this would be what deterred him? But another part of him thought, what else could she have done? She couldn't have done nothing. Of course she couldn't have. He understood that, as well as someone only could when he too had once been helpless.
He felt pity for her again. Despite himself, almost angrily, he felt it deep in his gut.
"But I haven't," he said, almost gently. "You might've noticed. I haven't even stuck my tongue out at his general direction since I got here."
It wasn't a promise, not at all. It wasn't the answer that she asked for. He couldn't give her that, after all. But just flat-out lying to her... gah! You're too good for this world, Hyoshi, really you are. He should. He knew that he shou;d. And he didn't.
no subject
She glanced up at him occasionally, and even from the speed of her head moving side to side, her gaze was once again ablaze with a fierce protectiveness. Gracia knew that a single pointed stare from Hideyoshi to her father would ruin his entire day - heck, maybe even his entire week - but she wouldn't tell him that. As much as she wanted to. She even bit her tongue to stop herself from telling him more than she should. It was part of her lessons; don't give your enemy anything they can use against you.
The yellow, garish lighting of the room reflected on her hair, making it seem darker than it actually was. She bowed her head and allowed it to veil her face, opting to stare at his feet. Only after she had took another deep breath did Gracia look up at him again. She relaxed her fists, but with some effort.
"Hideyoshi..." She said his name with an obvious yet unwanted vulnerability. This was the most that she could do to protect her father from him. Coax his word that he would not interact with Mitsuhide under any circumstance, and hope that that was good enough. She counted on it.
"Please," Gracia held her head high and took a step forward. Eye contact remained. She grasped at her hands and raised them to her chest as if trying to defend herself from an invisible hit. "If you have anything to say to him, say it to me. If you're mad at him, then let me know. You don't want to fight in such a peaceful world, do you?"
Promise?Gracia made another loose bet with Fate; she hoped the walls were not thin in the casino. She hoped no one would know she deliberately disobeyed her father's wishes.
no subject
But when he held her gaze a second too long, just a brief second, those eyes - wide and young and begging - suddenly he saw it like a flash, the flames of Odani, and other eyes there. He would have reeled from her if he wasn't holding himself. I can't pity her. I can't pity her. He was meant to hate her. There wasn't enough room in the world to do both.
"Gracia-chan," he said, his voice gone a little raspy despite himself, and honest, not mocking her despite the name. There'll be plenty of time for hate. For now, for a moment, he could try to give her something - something that could make a difference for her, maybe, even if there was nothing that could change for him. He could try to make it so that she would let him spare her.
"Gracia-chan, do you understand what's between your father and me? Do you really understand why we fight?" he took in a deep breath. "If you do, then you know why I can't give you any promises. You know - all three of us know how it's got to end."
no subject
...She was caught unprepared. Gracia looked around and moved to another area once more, keeping her pace quick and her strides short yet hurried. People were starting to disperse, and she needed the crowd to keep her thoughts—her composure—safe. As soon as she felt it safe to speak again, with what a whole room filled with half-drunk, half-ecstatic spectators throwing round chips by an equally round table, Gracia's expression did not betray what she felt. She was not as good as masking emotion as she gave herself credit for.
"What's between you and Father? Why you're fighting? I know why, because Father killed Nobunaga. And then you fought back." (It was a simplified version of the tale, and for all her talk and fire, myabe Gracia didn't know the depth of the situation. But what she did know, it was enough, right?) "But why does that have to matter now? Why can't you forgive him, so he can finally forgive himself? If you can't do that, then take me up on my offer, please! You told me once, you didn't want to seek out conflict in this new world. If so, then why is it so hard for things to change?"
At that point, she drew out all her cards. No more stops. She had to convince him, she just had to. Not only was she risking extreme reprimanding from her father if he were to find out, but she was risking herself as well. She didn't realize the latter at first, but now she saw herself clearly; the vulnerability she was giving him...perhaps it would help her this time around. Perhaps this man, whom she despises the most for destroying what the life she and her father once had, would see her light. He had a heart too, and she didn't ask for too much.
Just to leave Mitsuhide in peace. He was suffering enough on his own. He didn't need Hideyoshi to help him with that.
no subject
But he looked at her and he couldn't even resent her that perfectly innocent request. That hopelessly naive hope that he forgive Mitsuhide - never, never, never! - he couldn't hate her for that. What did she know? A little flower like her couldn't know a thing about what was at stake for him, and that was as it was supposed to be. He couldn't even ask her to imagine anything like that - like living your life with head bowed and eyes down, with the measly rice patch supposed to feed you the limit of your vision. Like working yourself broken in a castle full of tall proud men with swords and bowing and scraping and knowing that you could misstep at any moment, ugly, ridiculous little thing that you are, and that would be it. Like realizing one day, like a sudden burst of sun, that a man like that saw you as more than the scrape of dirt you were, as human and worthwhile -
He'd spent weeks, now, getting away from just such thoughts. Back home it was over - finishing things in Yamazaki had let him wrap up his grief and bury it, and continue on without stumbling once. And now here he was. Damn you, he thought as he stared at her. I don't want to remember this. I want to live.
"You don't know," he said, quietly and with a touch of bitterness. "Of course you don't. He probably doesn't know, either. Probably never thought about it."
He breathed in again and drew himself up a little - no matter what he did he was never going to be tall or impressive or intimidating, but when he stood straight and raised his head he could give the illusion. "It wouldn't matter if I forgave him," he said. "Not that I will. But even if, it isn't just about my revenge. It's about justice. And I'm sorry - I really, truly am, take that or leave it - but that is only between him and me. Him and me and Lord Nobunaga."
no subject
Her shoulder shook slightly, with a sort of defeated yet rebellious aura overcoming her. He stood as she did before; he had conviction, he had his resolve, he had his reason to deny her her request. But she wouldn't have it. Not when it meant having her Father carry an even heavier burden than he already placed upon himself. She looked back up with that courageous fire reserved only for protecting the ones she loved, and she spoke with a quiet indignation. It was rare for her to speak so softly yet sharply. But no more stops, remember? No more.
"Would you say the same for your friends who fought for you? For your family who defended you? That they too, weren't part of this entire thing?" She fought back silently, straightening her back and keeping eye contact even when it got uncomfortable looking at him so steadily.
"I don't know about this being about justice, and I truly wish it mattered to you that you forgave him, but...no matter what, I'm going to protect him. In my own way! Whether it's here inside this casino, or out on the battlefield."
It was Gracia's last stand. Violence was never her strong point - if she could help it, she would rather not raise her fists against an enemy - but Mitsuhide was her world, and she would be his ally forever.
"If you won't accept peace, then I suppose we have no choice but to be enemies." She left it at that, though she said the last word in a tone that was still open for correction. He could still fix this, he could go back on his word, return to her promise and leave Mitsuhide alone. Gracia desperately hoped Hideyoshi would reconsider. If not for his sake.
no subject
I don't want anyone to hate me.
It wasn't a deliberate thought. He half suspected that it had slipped through some sort of crack that she'd made in him, that he'd have to seal up as soon and as strongly as he could. But it had slipped out one way or another, and it wrote itself across his face. His eyes flickered down, and up again.
"You'll never know what your father took away from me," he said, and that was it, that was it, he'd given her too much already.
"You're not my enemy, Gracia," he sighed, his voice and face seamless again, resigned now. He held his hands up, palms out, reminding her that he had no weapon on him - and that he wasn't going to fight her here, either way. "You're just in the way. He wouldn't want that, you know - he wouldn't want you to have to fight. Fathers protect their daughters, not the other way around, eh? He'd want you to be safe. And happy. So go be happy. It's really not half as easy as I make it look."
And here he was, giving her more, again. Something was wrong with him, and he hardly even knew what.
no subject
Her blood boiled, and suddenly, she found her words much harsher, much sharper...she shook her head hastily. The grip in her fists wound up so tight, she could feel them starting to hurt. And as she bowed her head and refused to look back at him—she had been staring at those despicable eyes for far too long—she could only think of one thing, one answer to his words.
"No...no! You have no right to tell me that! I absolutely refuse to hear it coming from you!" How dare he? How dare he speak to her like he knew what it was like? 'You're just in the way.' 'He wants you to be safe.'
'Be happy.'
She shook her head again, and willed the heaviness in her heart to go away. Not now, not when she was facing the enemy. Don't give him anything to use against her, against her Father. Never mind that his words spoke the truth, never mind that for the entirety of her stay in Vatheon, all she ever tried to do was to protect Mitsuhide. To be by his side, even when he so defiantly pushed her away. Never mind that the same words that came out of Hideyoshi's mouth were the same words Mitsuhide desperately tried to make her understand; all he needed from her was her own joy. It was supposedly enough. But she was not going to hear it from him. Of all people, not him.
She choked back a sob, her mind growing cloudy by the second, her thoughts raging, darkening as the spenders at the casino became louder. Her next words were filled with such hurt, it made Gracia want to just run away from Hideyoshi. Pretend she never called for him.
"What would you know about Father and what he wants? What do you know about his joy? And about mine? Will you not understand that I will never be truly happy if Father is not? That's why I'm protecting him, protecting him from you! Fathers protect daughters and not the other way...I don't understand it at all." She raises her head, but she only looks at his chest, his feet, not his face, his eyes. "I'm doing all of this because I love him. Is that not enough?"
"I don't want to fight. But you won't give me your word that you'll leave my Father alone. If that is the case, then that makes us enemies. Even if neither of us want it." She finds her courage, yet her gaze is filled with a raging storm the moment she looks at him again. Unblinkingly, she stares at her shadow, the looming gray raincloud that has has never stopped haunting her ever since Yamazaki. For all Hideyoshi's gold and glimmer, all Gracia could see was ash and soot and bloody mud all over her feet.
"I am an Akechi, from now until forever. And my Father's enemies are my own. If you make a move against him, then you've made a move against me too." She took a step forward; she wished she could let go of her own tight grip against her palms, but the tension built up too much. Hideyoshi's face was blurred, and only after she spoke again did Gracia realize there were tears unshed in her eyes.
"Don't tell me what I should do, because you don't know anything. You too, will never know what you have taken away from us."