Happy Birthday to Me

[prominence_glow]

Who: Lea and everyone in Vatheon
What: This is how you celebrate birthdays, right?
Where: All over Vatheon
When: Backdated before Happy McMurder Mysteryfest, on the 26th, all day
Status: Open

[Hello, resident Vatheonites! So you're just wandering through Vatheon, going about your business- maybe coming out of a store after shopping, or just taking a walk, or looking for something to do...]

[And suddenly a sleigh being pulled by a bunch of giant birds screeches to a stop in front of you.]

[(Those birds would be Chocobos, by the way, and they come in a bunch of different colors, from a very large and aggravated yellow leading, to an excited looking red, to a calm brown, a jittery blue and inquisitive green...)]

[A certain redheaded youth with facial tattoos grins like a loon and leans over the the edge of it. Apparently, he's the driver, and boy does he have a question for you!]

Do you like cake?

[Even if the sleigh doesn't stop for you in particular, Lea can be seen riding his sleigh all over Vatheon, looking ridiculously delighted.]

Comments

[stayb100ponyboy]

Hi, Lea.

[Equius nods to the carriage's driver, then to the yellow lead chocobo.]

Radhi.

[Why, look at that, he happens to have some chocobo greens in his sylladex! Allow him to offer some to the birds.]

And yes, I do like cake.

[prominence_glow]

[You have earned Radhi's approval, Equius. Alex is more than happy to steal some of those greens and share them with Myde. With that bossy redhead out of the way, the rest of the birds take their share.]

[In the meantime, Lea is busy pulling out a cake from the floor of his sleigh- covered, covered!- and serving up a slice white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. There are a bunch of different cakes down there, man, all for a special occasion.]

Here, have a slice!

[stayb100ponyboy]

Thank you.

[Equius accepts the cake gingerly and looks it over. He gets a lot of cakes and pies at home, and he can tell this is a high-quality piece of baking.]

What's the occasion?

[prominence_glow]

Oh, nothing special, you know.

[Excuse him while he preens.]

S'just my birthday and all. Second one in Vat!

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Head tilt.]

Your what?

[Sorry, bro. He knows what birthdays are, he just hasn't heard the term in awhile. You'll have to jog his memory.]

[prominence_glow]

It's my, uh, what do ya call it-

[Snap snap snap- oh yeah.]

My wiggling day. That's the day you're born, right?

[stayb100ponyboy]

Oh, right! That!

[Equius manages a little half-smile for Lea.]

Congratulations. How old are you now?

[prominence_glow]

Eighteen!

[A bright grin- and then a pause, brow furrowing.]

Which would be, uh, hold on... Thirteen is six, so, uh, eighteen would be, like... That's like eight sweeps, right?

[stayb100ponyboy]

[It's cool, Equius just ran all the math in his head.]

A little over eight sweeps, yes. So that means you're fully grown now. In Alternia, you'd be joining the Fleet.

[prominence_glow]

Wow, I have no idea what that means.

Back home, it just means I can do more stuff and could be independent if I wanted.

[stayb100ponyboy]

It means you'd leave the home planet and join the interstellar fleet, to continue expanding the Empire.

[pause]

Yours sounds better, actually.

[prominence_glow]

Well, I'm not really a 'out and conquer' kind a guy so I think I'll pass.

[Idly petting the animals in the sleigh with him, he grins.]

So how's it been going? When do you guys have your birthdays anyway?

[stayb100ponyboy]

That might be for the best.

[Equius tries a bite of cake.]

We have a very different cultural mindset surrounding our wriggling days. It's a day of atonement, to think on how terrible we are and what great failures.

[prominence_glow]

...Hey, Equius, you don't mind if I'm honest, right?

[stayb100ponyboy]

No, go ahead.

[prominence_glow]

You guys seem fucked up enough.

[stayb100ponyboy]

I'm sorry?

[Say what?]

[prominence_glow]

Think about it, man. You don't think it's a liiiiiittle messed up? The creepy giant clown who needs a therapist is supposed to be normal where you're from, right?

[stayb100ponyboy]

He's... a bit of an exception.

[prominence_glow]

What about conquering planet stuff? What about that?

[stayb100ponyboy]

That's what trolls have always done. We conquer other planets and expand the Empire.

[prominence_glow]

Yeah, well, it's a douchey thing to do. Vatheon's been doing pretty well without anyone conquering it.

Besides... the scient- okay maybe it's not the best comparison.

[stayb100ponyboy]

But...

[Equius stops. He can't really argue with what Lea is saying, especially not after witnessing the Condesce's thankfully brief time in Vatheon.]

It's not like it matters. The Empire doesn't exist any longer anyway.