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Entry tags:
all aboard the atma train...
Who: Yukari and you poor unfortunate souls
Where: Throughout Vatheon (you can pick!)
When: Towards the end of the first day (of Curse 30), I guess
Style: [prose disguised as action brackets works for me--]
Status: Open, whoops
[By now, Yukari's seen the broadcasts from the network about this new Curse. She's lucked out before, with the Coral's effect passing over her, but...unfortunately, not this time. The tattoo on her right hand seems indicative enough of that, and she seems almost fascinated with it as she walks through Vatheon's streets.
The truth is, though, that she's worried.
...Worried about what it means, and worried about what she's heard.
A demon? Inside her? She's used to that-- or so she thought. But a Persona doesn't feel anything like this.
It gets harder to breathe and harder to focus on anything other than food. The unnatural hunger that's suddenly become the center of her attention, yet isn't satisfied when she eats...and her friends she lives with, about whom she's casually begun wondering, "...Well, what do they taste like?"
She doesn't want to know, though. She doesn't want to know, but the more she denies it, the worse the hunger stings and as she walks, she ends up dropping her (currently useless) Evoker that she had been carrying out of habit. It lands on the ground with a clang, but--
At the very least, it briefly snaps her out of her thoughts. She's bending down to pick it up, trying to focus on her breathing instead.
Her breathing--and only that...]
(( OOC: Have another DDS cannibal, Vatheon. Are you sick of them yet? |D She hasn't transformed yet, but her Atma avatar is Isis... feel free to contact me for plotting if you want. <33 ))
Where: Throughout Vatheon (you can pick!)
When: Towards the end of the first day (of Curse 30), I guess
Style: [prose disguised as action brackets works for me--]
Status: Open, whoops
[By now, Yukari's seen the broadcasts from the network about this new Curse. She's lucked out before, with the Coral's effect passing over her, but...unfortunately, not this time. The tattoo on her right hand seems indicative enough of that, and she seems almost fascinated with it as she walks through Vatheon's streets.
The truth is, though, that she's worried.
...Worried about what it means, and worried about what she's heard.
A demon? Inside her? She's used to that-- or so she thought. But a Persona doesn't feel anything like this.
It gets harder to breathe and harder to focus on anything other than food. The unnatural hunger that's suddenly become the center of her attention, yet isn't satisfied when she eats...and her friends she lives with, about whom she's casually begun wondering, "...Well, what do they taste like?"
She doesn't want to know, though. She doesn't want to know, but the more she denies it, the worse the hunger stings and as she walks, she ends up dropping her (currently useless) Evoker that she had been carrying out of habit. It lands on the ground with a clang, but--
At the very least, it briefly snaps her out of her thoughts. She's bending down to pick it up, trying to focus on her breathing instead.
Her breathing--and only that...]
(( OOC: Have another DDS cannibal, Vatheon. Are you sick of them yet? |D She hasn't transformed yet, but her Atma avatar is Isis... feel free to contact me for plotting if you want. <33 ))
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This is clearly a good time to make up for that.
So Serph approaches, the usual tattoo on his face notably missing. But... something seems wrong. He can't see the tattoo on her hand from this angle so he calls her name to get her attention first.]
Yukari? What's wrong?
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[It's a bit odd that she only notices that tattoo when it's missing. His face does look oddly empty now, and she never really did get a chance to ask about it. But unfortunately, she isn't really thinking of that, or their awkward conversation at the hot springs.
...
She simply looks up at him for a moment, a bit surprised, but then shakes her head as she stands up.]
Um, nothing. I-I just dropped something.
[And she scrambles a bit to put the Evoker back in its holster, allowing the tattoo to come into full view.
...Serph would know, wouldn't he? She should ask, and she should trust him. But her first instinct is to lie...]
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He frowns.]
Show me your hand.
[He has a sinking feeling about this. He knows it's dangerous for him to be here, especially without his own demon to protect him, but Yukari is his friend.]
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[Damnit, she really hadn't thought this through. She'd never been good at hiding her emotions, either, because she's the type to say what she wants, whenever she wants.
Faking, sure. But hiding...
Hiding is different.
She's hardly prepared, and she's withdrawing her hand with the tattoo.
Grab it?]
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He's firm, but not rough, and he turns her wrist to see the tattoo on the back of it. Atma. He's pretty sure that's an Atma. There's one way to find out.]
Are you feeling hungry?
[His voice is clear, but quiet.]
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There's a moment of silence, as she isn't sure what to do here. She doesn't get any dialogue options like in those stupid video games Stupei likes so much.
Dhe just freezes, but when she sees an opportunity to change the subject, she does so. She's looking at her tattoo--and then back to his cheek.]
H-Hey, what about yours? Didn't... didn't you have one, too?
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It's unfortunate she has to learn of their hunger this way; he wouldn't wish the virus on anyone. Yukari already has emotions, so she doesn't need the demon like they do. It somehow seems even less fair.
He doesn't look away at her question. Serph meets her gaze unflinchingly and nods.]
We all hunger.
[His voice is apologetic.]
Sorry.
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[Sorry?
Sorry...
No matter how she repeats it, it doesn't sound quite right. And she looks even more visibly upset. She's spoken with Amane...she's heard, but she still can't accept it.]
I... I don't know what to do. I can't...
[Oh--
But she can. And that's the problem, isn't it? She knows.
...And she freezes again.]
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But his voice is firm.]
You will have to, at least once.
[Even he has trouble dealing with the hunger if he doesn't eat once a week. Who knows how bad it will be for someone new to the Atma. It's been so long since he gained his Atma, after all.]
If you do not feed your demon, it will feed itself... on all the people around you. I do not wish to kill you to keep everyone else safe.
[And he will.]
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It isn't exactly something she can help feeling, either, as the implication that he would kill her is very much obvious, especially when she's in this state. They're supposed to be friends...she's determined to keep it that way, but devouring her own kind is completely out of the question.
It's her choice.
It's her choice, isn't it? It's her body...
Her expression hardens a bit. This is why she doesn't like opening up to people, even when it's clear they're trying to help.]
Well, I didn't wish for any of this. ..."My" demon? Mine? H-How can that be?
[She glares, already thinking back on the conversations she's had with Tiir. She's hungry. She's still starving even now, but it would make her a total hypocrite. This isn't--
This isn't happening--]
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It seems to be one of the coral's curses. Your Atma [he gestures to the tattoo on her hand] will be gone in a few days.
[He's fully human. He's not part demon, he's not how he'd been before gaining his Atma. This is what he'd imagine he'd be like in Nirvana. ...It just reminds him of what a terrible failure the exorcism had been. This completely human body will be gone in a few days and he'll need to return to killing.]
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She's been here even longer than Serph has.
But she groans, covering her face with her hands as if she's ashamed.]
I know.
[Idiot. More firmly, then--]
I know. Maybe...
[Maybe she'll be able to hold out. Maybe she'll be able to endure it until this "demon is gone. A week isn't that long... right?
But she doesn't say anything further...
Because a week is long enough.]
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Serph just shakes his head.]
If your demon had fed recently, perhaps.
[But it hasn't, by the looks of things. He leaves the words unsaid.]
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She's beginning to realize, too, that Serph must have also had this need.
This hunger...
His entire tribe, maybe, since she remembers being told that they fought together as comrades. She doesn't even want to ask how they've been handling things here.
...Not yet.]
No. I haven't-- I haven't even seen her.
[aka she hasn't even transformed.
Is she supposed to refer to her demon separately from herself, also? She doesn't know these conventions. She doesn't know anything.]
And it would've never occurred to me to "feed" her that way. Not on my own.
[Amane had to tell her. She's almost beginning to regret asking.]
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Which is why Yukari's words suddenly stand out to him. He'd just assumed she automatically knew to -- eat them all -- devour, like he had, but that's not the case, is it?
He'll ask her who told her soon, but first...
If Yukari will allow it, he'll place a hand on her shoulder.]
You aren't alone.
[He can help you with this.]
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It's funny. She knows those words are supposed to bring her comfort, but she feels almost numb to it now. Because even though others have suffered...and are currently suffering the same fate, it doesn't change the fact that that's how she feels.
Alone.
Not safe around anyone.
...She doesn't react to the hand placed on her shoulder. She simply looks down, casting her gaze towards the ground.]
But I'm not like you! I'm not...
[--a member of the Embryon. She's a member of SEES...and she doesn't know anything about living like this. Not even for a measly week.
Her voice trembles.]
I don't even know where to begin. All this time...
[They've had to do this? They've had to devour to survive, even here? Just who have they been devouring?! And should she be angry about it?
No, this isn't the time to be angry...and this isn't the time to cry either, but her emotions are getting a little bit much for her to handle.
...Just thinking about this makes her sick. The only help that would be useful is telling her how to remove this thing. But she knows not even Serph has the power to do that...]
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You're not like me.
[Even if he shares the need to devour with those of the Junkyard, they're all different, aren't they?]
You're Yukari.
[He lets out a quiet breath before he speaks again.]
It's alright to hate it.
[It's okay to be angry. It's okay to punch him in frustration.]
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She's confused.
She's hurt that she'd never known, although she understands why.
But none of these are the same as hate, and it isn't the same thing that she feels for people like Ikutsuki. She takes a breath--]
But I have no choice in it.
[Her fists tighten instead, in frustration, as if she's preparing for a punch. She wants to punch something-- but she just leaves it at that.]
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It occurs to him that he has a choice, now. To have the demon exorcised, and never need to devour another person again. But at the cost of his emotions. His autonomy.
...He brushes that thought from his mind. It's not a choice, really; giving up his emotions isn't a choice he'll ever take. ...And who knows what Yukari would be like without emotions. What kind of law would she follow?
What can he say? Nothing. So he doesn't. He just keeps his hand on her shoulder.]
[1/2]
She can still feel how tightly her fists are clenched when she watches the pebbles and dirt go flying, and she's forced to let out a frustrated grunt as she brings up one of her fists to wipe the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her toes start to ache a little at the impact, but she doesn't let it bother her.
She just continues on breathing, panting, and there's nothing else that can be heard.
The silence is deafening, sure, but it somehow serves as a better distraction than even their conversation could provide. A chance to think, and a chance to concentrate--
Though no matter how much she does either, she can't be okay with this.
Not now. Not ever.]
[2/2]
Because his touch-- it's comforting, isn't it?
...At least should be.]
So what now?
[--and yet her tone is still bitter and demanding at this entire situation. Because no other reaction seems suitable to her...]
no subject
We learn.
[Yukari needs to, unfortunately. But having a demon isn't all bad, as Cielo would gladly tell her. He lets his hand drop from Yukari's shoulder.]
The others can show you how to use your demon.
[They won't want him near the demons. Especially when he appears to be lacking powers of his own. Perhaps he's assuming Yukari will devour, but in a world like Vatheon, there is no point in going hungry. Jinana and Lupa had gone hungry, but used their hunger to carve out a path for him. In Vatheon... all it does is create a cycle of death that's more painful than devouring.]
I can come with you on your hunt.
[But even if he's not a demon this week, there are still plenty of ways to kill a person. His pistol will be too loud, even if he bought a silencer for it, but he can still kill a civilian like a local unarmed.]
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It's as simple as that, isn't it? Learning and adjusting. But Yukari still doesn't do either of those very well, when it comes to things like this. She didn't react well to Personas and Shadows and the Dark Hour, and she isn't reacting well here.
Not to mention this is all for what-- a week?
One stupid week. It isn't fair.
Why does she have to hunt...? Why?
This wouldn't be like "hunting" Shadows.]
You've...you've done it before, haven't you?
[Tone somewhere between afraid and demanding.]
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Serph nods. He has. Several times. More times than he cares to count.]
Ever since we gained our Atma.
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She just continues to stare at him almost accusingly. A part of her can't help but admire how unashamed he is...but then again, another part is beginning to realize that maybe she doesn't understand him at all.]
Even here. [statement, not question. she seems breathless regardless] Who...?
[...How had no one noticed?]
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