vatheon | 009 ∫ Seeking and Finding

Entry tags:

009 ∫ Seeking and Finding

Characters: James Potter and Severus Snape
Location: Wherever James finds Snape
Time: Whenever James finds Snape
Style: Any/All
Status: Closed

It took James a few days to sort everything out about his little sleep. He's missed Christmas it seemed but he managed to be with his friends over the new year. All the while, his conversation with Sirius played on his mind. The conversation about Snape.

So that morning, he could take it no longer. He dressed, left Lily a message and kiss, and left the house in search of his previous enemy. He'd also remembered to take his wand and SFC but hoped he didn't need either of them.

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Severus was out and about that morning, trying to make himself to home in this strange new world. Every once and awhile he would pull out the little starfish-shaped thing and look at it. True to what he had been told, the device sent transmissions as well as showed him who was here that he might know.

He stared up - up where the sky should have been but instead he just saw what he knew to be water. Idly, he wondered where he fit in this new world - where he belonged.

With Snape out and about, it didn't take James long to find him, though he didn't approach him straight away. He watched and waited and tried to think of what to say to the man after all these years. Longer for him of course. And with James dead and knowing the future he never lived, it felt strange not wanting to hex the man where he stood.

But he wasn't Sirius. He hadn't lived Sirius' life. So he watched and waited and wondered. At least, for the moment.

After a time, Severus finally returned to his walking. It was strange - not feeling threatened, not feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders anymore. He was dead. Deader than dead. And yet here he was - alive again and surrounded by people who were also dead. It wasn't Heaven so far as he could tell. So what was it?

As he turned another corner he damn near walked right into James. Instinctively, he jumped back, prepared for a fight. The older wizard still didn't trust James.

James didn't move or speak nor did he draw his wand and try and levitate the older man into the air as he had done in his youth. He simply stood and watched, with an curious look on his face.

He was simply interested in what had happened that Ron didn't know but he wasn't sure how to ask. If Snape hadn't changed since James had known him, he wouldn't want to give up the answers easily or at all. There would have to be some trust involved and there was currently none between the two of them, dead as they may be.

Severus stood there like that for a bit before he decided the other wizard was not going to launch an attack. He relaxed slightly, his body language seamlessly shifting from defensive to annoyed.

"Can I help you, Potter?"

"Perhaps." James rounded him and sat down on a bench only a few steps away and continued to stare.

"It's been a while since I saw you. Thought I'd check up." His air is bright but obviously lying. Too obvious. Even with the air of truth.

Eyes narrowed, Severus turned to keep James in his line of sight. "And that is all I owe this pleasantry to?"

He refused to sit down and the way the other man was staring was starting to tick him off. "If you want something then say your peace."

James shrugged, his face calm. "Death." Then he couldn't help but laugh.

He calmed himself after a moment but couldn't stay serious. "I came to ask if some things Sirius told me were true. About my death. About Lily's. But I can't get over the fact that we're both dead and here. It amuses and I haven't the faintest idea why."

Color Severus not impressed. "Yes. We're both dead. Anything else?"

Of course there was something else. With James there was always something else. At the mention of Lily's death he winced slightly. That was a subject he would prefer not to talk about. She was here now - alive and well - but he could remember that night all too well.

Of cradling a corpse -

"I am glad you find it so amusing. You'll have to excuse me, though - I think I something more pleasant to attend to."

Like having a root canal.

Edited 2012-01-07 06:03 (UTC)

"Come now Severus. Perhaps we can find in death, what we couldn't in life." He sat back on the bench, legs and arms crossed with that insufferable smirk on his face.

"I simply wish to know if my good Padfoot is correct about your part in it all."

Tread carefully, James. Severus was about this close to wiping that smirk off your face.

"Pray tell - what wisdom has dear Sirius imparted to you?"

Feel free. He'll be back in a few days.

"That you were a Death Eater. That it's your fault I'm dead. That it's your fault Lily's dead. That kind of thing."

His voice is suddenly hard. Tell him it's not true, Snape. Tell him.

"Goodness - Black does like to run his mouth."

There was a long pause before he answered the questions posed to him. "Yes, I was a Death Eater. I would have thought that much would have been obvious to you." And then he turned away, unsure how to answer James's other questions. He took a deep breath to steel himself and brought his gaze back to James's. He was not a coward - he had to own up to the part he had played.

"I made a mistake and I tried to fix it - to make things right. But I failed. I - I played no small part in your deaths. You would have been safe, though, if Peter Pettigrew hadn't sold you out to the Dark Lord." He paused as emotion rose up in his throat and was plain to hear in his voice when he spoke again. "I never meant for any of it to happen. But... it did. It was my fault."

"He also told me you met Shin and that he stopped you getting hexed. Good guy, Shin."

James listened to Snape before nodding, silently, taking all the information in and making sure it made sense before speaking. He didn't want to say anything he would regret. Because it was this life. Or not life.

"That Shin fellow - he got Black to actually listen to reason even if it didn't fit nicely with his world view."

Unconsciously, Severus reached for his left forearm, rubbing at the spot that bore the Dark Mark. More than once he had tried to figure out a way to remove it from his body but he had always stopped himself. It served as a reminder of the mistakes he had made and who he had been - so he would not repeat the past. Besides, it had served him well in his days as a spy for Dumbledore.

"Yeah. He would. He's Sirius' boyfriend."

James noticed the rub but didn't mention it. It was quite obvious what it was and he thought it better to leave the matter well alone.

"So what exactly happened to you? If you don't mind me asking. I know some of Harry's life after my death but you're a different story."

That got an eyebrow raise out of Severus. "Didn't know Black swung that way. Interesting." He could not care less about Sirius's preferences in dating. He just found the news to be just that - interesting.

"Why does my life interest you?"

An intensely private man, Severus was not one to give up details of his personal life on a whim. And, as far as he was concerned, his whole life was private - why he had kept to himself all those years at Hogwarts both as a student and a teacher.

Edited 2012-01-07 07:55 (UTC)

"Me either but he apparently does. Took me a long time to like to guy too." He knew Snape didn't ask for the information but he saw no harm in giving it all the same.

"Why should it not?" James sighed. "All jokes aside, we're stuck here. Together. Now we can go back to school and hex each other every week or we can get to know each other and a good afterlife. I know which one I would prefer."

James knew Snape was a private man, but maybe, just maybe, he could get through now they were both dead. It was a long shot but hey, what did he have to lose?

Severus crossed his arms, gaze leveling again on James. "I have no desire to hex you. However, that does not mean I want to be 'best friends'." The older wizard honestly could not see the benefit of letting James get to know him - or vice versa.

"What do you gain by this? Hmm? More information on your son? More information on how it all turned out? If you've got a personal stake in 'getting to know me' then state it and knock off the pretense that you want to be friends."

It was a gruff rebuke but it wasn't without merit. The last time they had talked all James had really wanted to know about was Harry. And there had been no love lost between them when they were in school. Severus firmly believed James had some angle on this and was trying to figure out what it was.

"I never said best friends. I just don't see the point in being enemies any more."

James sighed, running his hands through his hair and making it messier.

"What I gain is you. Nothing more. Nothing less. You arrived here as dead as I am so I thought I might as well try. I'm got nothing to lose."

"Neither do I. However, just because we're not enemies doesn't mean I want to share anything besides space with you."

You're not Lily, James. You'll have to work a lot harder to get Severus to open up to you. So would Sirius. In fact, the only of the Marauders the old wizard might talk to was Lupin but as he wasn't around there was little point in considering that option.

James nodded. "I'm not saying we're going to like each other over night. But who knows how long we're going to be here. And dying again isn't on my list."

There was a small pause as James considered his next move. "Just tell me you'll think about it?"

"Not by a long short," he grumbled to the comment on them not liking each other overnight.

The comment about dying got James a glare. "Did I say I was going to kill you?" Truth was Severus hadn't killed him the first time. If Pettigrew hadn't gone turn-coat everyone would have lived.

"I'll take it under advisement."

Edited 2012-01-08 04:06 (UTC)

James nodded at his last statement, ignoring everything else. "That's all I'm asking. Just think about it."

Then he stood, turning to go back to the house. "Guess my work here is done unless you've got anything to say...or do?"

"Why did you seek me out? I would have thought you, of all people, would want to either kill me or ignore my existence entirely - especially since you know what you do now."

Severus eyed the other man suspiciously. Was he really trying to make a fresh start of sorts? "You made it very clear over the span of seven years that you wanted nothing to do with me exception of exchanging hexes. How does death change your point of view?"

"Those seven years were at school. We were kids. Children. Nothing more than emotion. But I grew up. Got married. Had a son. Turned my brain on." He smirked at the last one. "Who knows? Maybe this would have happened anyway if I hadn't died. Or maybe it was just death that gave me this perspective."

He bit his lip, thinking. "It's hard to explain. I guess I thought you would simply understand. Being dead too..." He shrugged, hoping that was a good enough answer and if not, trying to find the words he needed.

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009 ∫ Seeking and Finding

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