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Who: Eridan, Roxy, and later Feferi
Where: Some restaurant!
When: Friday midday!
Status: Closed
Style: action

[It goes without saying that Eridan definitely needs to keep himself busy, instead of staying in his hive all day and feeling sorry for himself. Thanks to Sollux, he's kinda realized this! So after contacting Roxy and setting up a lunch date(totally platonic thank you very much), here they are. Seated and waiting for their respective meals to arrive.]

[Eridan looks pretty impatient really, though he's been pretty much on edge all month. Not to mention that earlier happening in the week, getting stuck to Gamzee? Yeah, that just soured him as well, though he's honestly trying to be in a better mood. This was the whole reason he decided to have a little friend date with Roxy, after all. Sadly, the company of a pretty, blonde human wasn't quite cutting it... yet, anyways. Don't mind him fiddling with the rings on his fingers, Rox, he's just sorta mentally preoccupied.]

So I'we newer actually eaten here before... for their sake, it better be good.

[Who cares if he picked the place. Also, he is absolute shit at small talk. Enjoy that.]

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[ For her part, Roxy hasn't minded this week at all. There was the morning she woke up with her face stuck to Jane's boobs, and then she's had her hands glued to both Strider and English ass for a fair amount of time. Truth be told, she's had herself a bit of fun. (The ass grabs may have been intentionally performed to see if her hand would get stuck.)

She sips at her drink (water, bleh, but she had a bit of a headache already and there was no sense in making it worse) and grins a little. ]

What're you gonna do if it isn't? Not like you can go and demand your money back 'cause the cook forgot to put a hairnet on so oops, there goes a grey into the food. You should throw a pie at someone's face. That always goes over well.

...

[Yeah, well his week hardly has been a great one, that's for sure. He hasn't even touched Karkat much at all in fear they'd get glued together! And, maybe he wouldn't mind that, but Karkat sure would. Just because he might be used to Karkat's yelling, doesn't mean he wants to be constantly subjected to it if it can avoid it!]

I don't know what I'll do. I mean, sure it's for fuckin' free, but they can at least put some decent effort into the food they'll be serwin' us.

[He stops fiddling with the ring that has his sign so modestly presented on the fat violet-colored gem, and reaches for his own drink: tea, of course. He takes a sip.]

I could giwe them a earful, at the wery least. No pie throwin', either. I'm not a fuckin' clown, Rox.

Edited 2012-12-01 06:30 (UTC)

[ Roxy's lips twitch a little bit and she has to cough to keep the giggle that's starting to bubble up from actually escaping. ]

I think I'd wanna see that, if I'm gonna be honest.

[ There would be nothing as entertaining to her as Eridan trying to sound menacing only to tell someone that they'd better behavve themselvves wwhile he lays dowwn the laww. Even if it sounds like he's getting better on his w's.

V's are still hilar. ]

But before alla that, I got somethin' for ya!

It's only right you'd want to bear witness to me releasin' the undeniably deserwed dark umbrage on a idiot who can't ewen do his damn job right.

[Except Eridan doesn't even know if he can or can't do that right. However, he takes he giggling to just be over how obviously great that prospect would be, and nothing to do with how funny he talks. Ws can be hard, but he has basically conquered their treacherous asses, V's however, he may never be able to charm them into cooperating...]

You do?

[He stares at her, wide-eyed and surprised. Something for him? It really isn't often that someone gives him any gifts at all, so really, this is a shocker to him.]

What is it?

Edited 2012-12-01 07:10 (UTC)

[ Wow what a cute. Look at him pretend to not be excited about this. Roxy just grins and leans over to the side to dig through her bag. ]

It's nothin' much, and a little early Christmas, but I thought, fuck it, I'm done with it and you should totes have it. Made it with my own two little hands and everything.

[ She sits up again with something wrapped in a handkerchief and places it on the table before unwrapping it to reveal--

An eyepatch. An eyepatch that has been bedazzled. An eyepatch that has been bedazzled with violet rhinestones in the shape of the letter E in the center.

It's a thing to behold. ]

[He stares at it. Honestly, he wasn't expecting this at all. A gift is surprising in itself, but an eyepatch? Not only that, the gaudiest goddamn eyepatch that ever did exist ever. He takes a moment before putting his tea down, silently reaching over and picking it up to further examine the rhinestone bejeweled eye apparel.]

You... You seriously made this for me?

[His voice doesn't even have his usual puffed up tone about it, he's in legit disbelief, just wow Roxy way to make him speechless. Maybe he's a little touched. Just a little bit.]

[ Don't mind her she's just watching very closely to see his reaction to it. Because there's really little more nerve wracking than giving a gift to someone without knowing beforehand if they'd like it or not. ]

Damn straight I did! I was gonna have it done, like, forever and a half ago, but shit kept happening that pushed back its launch date. But it's done now!

[ In reality she just never sat down to do it. Seriously, it took her like 15 minutes. But shh. ]

Y'like it?

Oh...

[He looks at her a second, before looking back at the embodiment of gaudiness he has in his grasp.]

Of course I fuckin' do! How could I not like somethin' like this? I mean, in all honesty, I newer really considered a eyepatch before. Kinda didn't ewen think about it, but with how this one is so wonderfully customized to my personal taste...

[Aka overbearing flashiness. But, that's when he takes his glasses off so that he can actually put the eyepatch on right now!! After a moment or two, ta-dah~ he's wearing that ridiculous thing, the purple E shining and everything, much like shitty rhinestones do best. After a moment or two making sure it's on straight, he puts his glasses back on, because despite how hipstery they look, he honestly does need them.]

So how's it look?

[Boy he sure looks happy with himself.]

[ Yes. He put it on. Oh my god it looks even better than she thought it would.

By which of course I mean it looks absolutely ridiculous but that doesn't stop Roxy from being so very proud of herself.

She leans forward to reach across the table and put her hand on the side of his face to tilt it toward her so she can see better. ]

Lemme see...

[ HMMM. HMMM. HMMM... ]

Yep. Lookin' totally baller.

[ And she's just gonna lean on back here and--

Uh.

Uh oh. ]

[Despite how he should have realized there was the possibility she'd get stuck touching him, he doesn't even think about it when she touches the side of his face. He's too busy being all puffed up and proud of his little gaudy eyepatch, and maybe a little okay with her touching his face at all. WHAT! Roxy is a lovely lady okok. Doesn't help that when she compliments him, he beams with pride and looks absolutely content with himself.]

[That doesn't last though, because then she leans back and tries to pull her hand away, and that doesn't quite work because Eridan's head is going with it. He gives a discomforted look at first, but then realization sinks in and his face could just become so acquainted with his palms at this point, because WOW THEY SHOULD HAVE REALIZED?]

... You're fuckin' stuck, aren't you?

[He doesn't even have to ask, it's not like he doesn't know.]

Uh.

[ Yep. Definitely should've seen this one coming. I mean, it was sort of hard to miss. The whole week had been screwy. But telling Roxy not to touch people is like telling her not to drink. It's just not going to happen. ]

Maybe a little bit.

[ Tug tug. ]

Yep. Definitely stuck. Hold on.

[ She gets up and moves around the table to stand in front of him, puts one foot against his chair, and begins to pull.

And pull.

And--oh fuck she lost her balance. ]

[Eridan just watches her, unsure of what exactly she's planning on doing, because he knows once you're stuck, you're stuck. But then she puts her foot on his chair, and pulls, which of course jerks him forward, which he tries to pull back against! But all bets are off when she loses her balance and goes tumbling backwards, him following.]

[He lands unceremoniously on her, growling in frustration before he realizes he's on top of her. Yeah, his cheeks are alight with purple now.]

Shit--Rox, are you alright? I, uhh...

[Unfortunately he can't really get up with her hand still stuck to his face, wow this is really, really awkward. AT the very least, he does life up a little bit with his arms so he isn't laying on her, but it hardly helps at all.]

Edited 2012-12-05 18:46 (UTC)

[ Unfortunately for everyone involved, fate was taking a hand here. She'd really just planned on going to get some carry out before her latest grand adventure in the surrounding areas of the bubble, so it wasn't like she'd planned for anything.

Anything being the sudden commotion over at a table. She might have even managed to miss the tacky duo entirely given her impeccable sense of her surroundings.

But yeah, there went Eridan and Roxy toppling over with him on her and her hand on his face and what the glub did she just walk in on?

There was only one way to respond to this. ]

Oh my god, is this even the place for that kind of thing?

[ Loud mockery. ]

[ Okay so that didn't actually work. Not that she thought it really would but it was worth a try, right? Can't know unless you give it a go!

But now she's staring skyward, which is really more she's staring right up at Eridan, and the situation becomes very awkwardly clear to her. She can't even imagine how it must look to any onlookers.

Well, no, that's not true. She can imagine exactly what it must look to any onlookers. ]

'm good. Nothin' more injured than my pride, really.

[ She grins up at him, and would have probably patted his cheek if her hand wasn't already attached to his face.

And then she hears a voice to their side. Roxy turns her head until she can spot the owner and just sort of... blinks up at her. ]

Well, clearly, I mean... where else are we going to go to awkwardly lay around together and perhaps commit quadrant infidelity on his part. By which I mean my hand is stuck to his face 'cause that's what the bubble feels like doin' this week and then we fell over when I tried to rip it off.

...Which, in hindsight, would've probably hurt like a bitch, huh?

[ This she actually says to him. ]

[The moment he hears Feferi's voice, he freezes. Out of all the people to catch him doing something stupid like this, it had to be her. Talk about a compromising position! The only one he wouldn't want seeing him like this more than her, is Karkat, but that doesn't change the fact that this fucking sucks. He slowly looks over at Feferi, his expression similar to what it would be if he was caught with his damn pants down. Just, horrified humiliation. He doesn't even really hear Roxy, he's so transfixed on Fef.]

Oh god, Fef--no, this, fuck. This isn't what it ewen looks like, not at fuckin' all--I...

[And now he's scrambling to get up and well, Roxy's hand is still on his face, and Roxy still on the ground so that really just results in him nearly falling back on her as he attempts to stand and not being able to lift Roxy with his face by her arm. It probably looks hilarious, however Eridan's just utterly embarrassed right now and wants to climb under the nearest rock.]

[ Feferi was listening to Roxy, for the record, and she unfortunately took something completely unique from her statement about 'quadrant infidelity.'

Her eyebrows rise, both at the explanation and the sputtering on Eridan's part. She crosses her arms for a moment, looking down at them. ]

Pfff, yeah, now there's a real glubbing good place to get one of your flippers stuck. You're lucky Karkat can't see any of this-- oh wait!

[ And that's the moment she goes for her SFC from her sylladex and then lifts it up to--

...to have no idea how to record something to make her very own post to the network. Huh.

And, alas, her expression goes from vindicated meanness to bafflement. ]

Hey, how do you record on this thing?

Ow-- Sw-- Eridan, watch it, that's my arm you're trying to rip out of its socket. Okay, hold on, count of three we stand up. One, two--

[ Aaaaaaand up they go. That's better. Just gonna straighten everything out, here... There. ]

Because showing you how to is right on the top of my list of things to do at the moment. Right after buy a new pair of shoes and just before get my hand removed from his face.

[ Feferi, plz. ]

Sorry.

[He says it quickly as they both rise to their feet, which wasn't an easy task! However, Eridan stares at Feferi, nearly in horror at the thought of her recording this--but his horror is replaced with slight amusement at Feferi's prevailing incompetence with all things technology. Ignorance really is bliss, even if it isn't your own ignorance causing the bliss.]

Fef, there's no fuckin' reason to be tryin' to show Kar this shit anyways! Nothin' was happenin'! Rox and I are just friends enjoyin' a friendly outtin' and this fuckin' curse is the downright most retarded fuckin' thing EWER.

[He feels so dumb rn with Roxy's hand on his cheek, just. God. And Fef trying to cause problems with him and Kar--god where does she even think she has the right? Sure, be mad at him, but don't try to fuck over his relationships!]

Oh, I see how it is! I see, you just get to maybe cheat on your quadrant, and I have no right to tell him all about it?

[ She points down at them, her mocking mood rapidly being replaced with a roiling well of indignation. It was extremely dramatic, but, well, she was about to get on a roll. And everyone knew drama was better when you had some sort of vaguely defensible position, so she was going to protect Karkat's honor here.

Mostly because seriously, she couldn't figure the SFC out without help. ]

And you! [ She points dramatically. ] Flapping your flirty fins all over a taken troll, that's just horrible.

Sweetie, if I wanted to flirt with a taken troll, pretty sure I'd be doin' a better job of it than I am at the moment. I mean sure he's like totes a catch or whatever, but I'm not down with the moving in on spoken for territory. If I were, I'd be stakin' a claim on some English soil.

[ heh heh.

Neither one of them are going to get that. ]

'n I don't appreciate the accusation. Farthest I'd go is pale for this piece'a cute.

[Eridan opens his mouth to try to defend himself, but Roxy beats him to the punch. He glances from her to Feferi, closing his mouth, letting Roxy finish what she has to say. It really isn't because he doesn't have anything to say himself, just he knows what he says doesn't really count for shit with Feferi, so maybe Roxy can persuade her that this really isn't anything of the sort. Gosh Roxy, way to stroke his ego saying he's a catch and all, don't mind him puffing up his chest and little, his fins perking proudly. The English thing goes over his head, but he wasn't listening anyways, too busy enjoying that compliment.]

[But then Roxy says that last part, about the whole pale business, his gaze snaps to her, and he can't do much more than gawk at her in disbelief.]

What?

[He.. honestly wasn't expecting that, sure him and Roxy hit it off pretty damn well, but... Well, sure she said farthest she'd go is that, but doesn't that mean she has at least some interest, or has considered it? He might have a slight purple tinge to his cheeks, ignore that.]

What?

[ She echoes Eridan, but with a great deal more skepticism. Or maybe it's outrage.

No, wait, it's definitely both.

She sputters a little bit before puffing up, and makes some rather dramatic gestures with her hands while she's at it. ]

A catch? Hardly! He's last week's chum!

[ She's so unnecessarily loud right now, unfortunately. ]

What?

[ Did she just say something awkward what the hell.

...Aw he's blushing! Look at that, how fucking precious can he even be. ]

I mean sure he's got an ego to fill the bubble 'n his poncy cape has got to go--I'm sorry it does--but he's a sweet 'n fuckin' cute as shit. I mean look at that blush he's got goin' on his cheeks right there. Look at that and tell me it isn't precious.

[ Seriously Eridan. ]

[Well, his surprised goes away at Feferi's insult, a narrow-eyed glare replacing it--but then there goes Roxy, complimenting him and pointing out his--]

Oh god.

[He's blushing??? Goddamnit, now he's probably blushing even more. Why can't he just leave, maybe crawl under a rock and not deal with this right now? Why is Roxy's hand stuck to him? why did Fef have to find them? god... This entire situation is awkward, yet hearing Roxy compliment him definitely is a plus to the whole thing... Doesn't help the awkward, especially when Fef is his pale-ex 2x combo.]

Roxy, I don't think that's really, uh, helpin' the situation at all. Also my cape is stayin', end a discussion!

And Fef?

[He's trying to look unaffected by this whole situation as much as possible. He kinda sucks at it.]

You can say whatewer the fuck you bloody want about me, I don't giwe a shit, [He can totally ignore those small pains in his chest from it.] but don't think it will change a damn thing. Rox and I weren't doin' anythin' you're tryin' to accuse us of, and Rox just so happens to hawe a better opinion a me than you do, so any a your trash talkin' will be fallin' on deaf auricular sponge clots.

[He honestly isn't sure what to do right now. He doesn't want to make shit worse with Feferi, but it's not like there's a peaceful solution to this whole thing, Feferi has more than proved she's just trying to cause problems.]

[ This was so unfair.

It was two against one, after all, and she'll just ignore the fact that she charged right into the mess and made all kinds of random assumptions that she shouldn't have. And the part where she meanspiritedly wanted to harass Eridan.

And, oh, the part where she was getting weirdly jealous-- what the hell?

Feferi puffs up anyway, because she's not slinking off. She'll just have to come up with a great retort, that's all. ]

Yeah? Well-- your stupid sticky face pap attempts are one big beached whale of a failure. And it looks dumb. So there! Ha!

[ She's just... going to awkwardly storm off now.

Later, she'll have to convince herself that went so much better than it actually did. And she'd totally burned them, ha!

But now she was just going to skip her meal and sulk elsewhere. ]

[ So Roxy is just gonna go ahead and watch Feferi huff off somewhere like she just had a ball taken away from her so someone else could play with it, and she's just...

She's so confused.

So she'll just turn her head to look up at Eridan and raise an eyebrow. ]

Soooooo... what the actual hell was that.

[Eridan watches her leave, obvious relief to his features, he waits a bit before answering, to be sure Feferi is out of ear shot.]

She's my ex--er, well. She's my ex, twice ower. We were moirails for a long time, and then she broke up with me once our planet was destroyed, then we made up when she was here before, but now she doesn't remember it so she's back on the kick of tryin' fuck me ower as some sorta rewenge, I guess?

[He sighs.]

It's really fuckin' exhaustin'.

Edited 2013-01-02 16:49 (UTC)

[ Roxy frowns at that and shakes her head. ]

I'd pat your cheek but... well.

[ She's sorta stuck there already. But just imagine that it's happening anyway, Eridan. ]

I dunno why she'd wanna break up with you in the first place. Clearly, she could not handle this much bitchin' awesome in one body.

[ casually strokes ego ]

[He's silent, not even really giving so much of a chuckle at the whole patting his cheek comment, or the stroke of his ego. He's not even looking at her directly.]

... Why she left me isn't really important.

[Maybe he'll tell Roxy the whole thing, but not now. Even thinking about it is enough to give him such a solemn expression. So much for them enjoying a nice lunch together...]

Hey, hey. Shh. Look at me.

[ And then she uses her hand being stuck to his face to turn his head so he'd look at her. ]

We've all done some serious dumbass shit. I blew up Janey's computer and pretended it was the Batterwitch so that she'd maybe believe me about the whole thing and almost hurt her in the process. But the past is way the fuck back there and you can just insert some inspirational bullshit here about not moving forward if you keep looking back.

[As she moves his face to look at her, he gives her SUCH the flat look, but he's listening...]

Blowin' up some computer is hardly a fair equiwalent to what I'we done.

[But she's right. He doesn't need to be dwelling on the past like this.]

You're right. Let's just continue to hawe a good time--as best we can, what with your hand bein' stuck to my face an' all.

Did you miss the part where I nearly killed one of a whole three people in the world I had as a friend? It was stupid as balls, the way I went about it. Serious guilt.

Though you're right, whatever you did probably was worse. Not gonna lie, troll problems tend to be way the fuck bigger than human problems.

[ There's a brief pause as she tries to figure out a way to abruptly change the conversation while also leaving him flustered.

Which basically means she just leaned in to plant a smooch to his forehead. ]

Let's get outta here, anyway. No need to run in to anymore exes or somethin!

[ Just gonna walk and drag him along by the face now. ]

Look I had my own computer blow up in my face before, it's not nearly as lethal as you may think it is. I still owe Rose for that, actually...

[But that's not important now. He lets her finish talking though, without any commentary on his end, because yeah. Killing who you thought to be the love of your life at the time, blinding another, and killing not only a friend, but also bringing apparent the preemptive genocide of your entire race is a little bit more to bear than blowing up your friend's computer because of some stupid reason.]

[Just as he's about to respond about getting outta here, he finds himself being dragged by his face. Cue a surprised noise escaping him, before he starts to catch up with her, so he isn't nearly tripping over himself as she drags him.]

Holy shit, Rox, you coulda gawe me a chance to start mowin' before you figure draggin' me by my FUCKIN' HEAD was a good idea! An' for your information, my other ex isn't ewen here currently!

Edited 2013-01-10 09:10 (UTC)

[ Shut up Eridan it was a BFD. ]

Not like I can get very far without you followin'. I mean I'm pretty strong 'n shit but I don't think I could haul your ass around by myself if I wanted to. Not sayin' you're fat or anything 'cause you're definitely not, I'm just sayin' that I'm not pick a bro up strong.

[ But she'll walk slower anyway so she's pulling less on him, moving out of the restaurant now. ]

Hey I wonder what'll happen if we touch the corral like this. Think it'll give us a little jolt so we can unstick?

[Totally not a BFD, gosh. He totally has the right to say so cuz he is him!]

Still is hardly comfortable to be pulled by my face.

[But she's slowing down, so that works.]

I dunno, it isn't like the coral often undoes curses by touchin' it regularly. But, I don't think tryin' will hurt.

What's it gonna do, stick us together more?

[ Be careful what you say, Roxy. It just might. ]

I mean, I dunno 'bout you, but I think we're pretty damn glued here. Stuck on you like a fly stuck to that sticky paper shit people put up to get 'em. Dumb shits. They just fly right to it, not even realizing they're gonna die.

[ Pause. ]

Man, I really missed out on a prime opportunity here, for a hand getting stuck places.

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