(no subject)

[unconchonable]

Who: Eridan and Karkat
Location: Vantas-Ampora Hive
Time: Backdated to right after Eridan talked to Feferi
Status: Closed/On going


[After his meeting with Feferi, Eridan heads straight home, conflicted feelings everywhere. She was before the game, she thought they were still moirails and Eridan was too much of a coward to tell her otherwise, not wanting to break the news to her, and maybe, just maybe he was enjoying that old treatment, actually being liked and valued by Feferi after so long of just... not. But now that he's out of her optimistic and joyous presence, the reality of him not saying anything is really weighing around him. Augh, everything is so damn complicated.]

[He's hardly quiet when he walks in the door, closing it behind him a bit louder than he meant, but whatever. He stops for a moment, thinking about just not bringing up anything with Feferi to Karkat, because this is his problem, he'll handle it, he's got this. Yep! He's decided it, he'll just head to his room and not say anything at all, yep yep! Except, by the time he's reached his door, he stops again, hand resting on the frame, before he turns and starts to look through the hive for his matesprit. When he does find him, he stops in the entrance to which ever room he is in, looking a touch uneasy about whatever it is he needs to talk to him about.]

Hey, Kar? I need to talk to ya about somethin'.

Comments

[bethehugejerk]

[He watches him a long moment, gauging his expression and all. Sure he sounds irritable, but that's expected, with how Eridan is.]

Once you do it, however it goes, you can talk to me about it. If it goes well, then great; if it doesn't, at least you will have been truthful with her, which is better than the alternative of cowardly douchebaggery.

[unconchonable]

[Yeah, if there's one troll that could give Karkat's grumpiness a run for it's money, it's Eridan.]

Yeah... You're right. Fuck.

[Excuse him as he just LAYS BACK all dramatic like and woe is he and stuff, also, he doesn't rightly care if your legs are in the way or not, Karkat, he'll totally lay on those if you don't move them! A small price to pay for some dramatics.]

Watheon is a right bulgesucker, Kar. It was bad enough the first time I had to confront her about shit when she was here, but now again? Fuck my life.

[Just gonna scrub his hands over his face now, k?]

[bethehugejerk]

My legs aren't pillows, Eridan.

[He frowns down at him, and reaches a hand after, going to curl through his hair - half comfort in gesture, half punishment of mussed styling.]

Being as the scientists are bound and determined to suck bulge like an industrial suction-based floor covering cleaner searching for microscopic bits of dirt, there is about nothing you can do to change that fact. But here, you at least get to be alive, and try to make yourself a better troll.

[unconchonable]

[He listens, but doesn't move. He's even about to complain about Karkat messing with his hair, even if it'd be half-hearted protest, but Karkat says something that kinda catches him and he stops.]

What do you mean by that? I at least get to be aliwe?

[Offering Karkat a curious, if not slightly worried, stare. He sure doesn't know he's dead back in the veil.]

[bethehugejerk]

[Welp. Guess who feels like an ass? Face meet palms, plural.]

Shit.

It's nothing good, I'll tell you that right upfront, and here I go being the dumbass who somehow got it in his mind that you already learned about it.

1/3

[unconchonable]

[Yeah Eridan's going to sit back up, his eyes never leaving Karkat, as he continues to just stare at him.]

... So, you're serious? I'm--[Nope, can't say it, no, no that makes it more real. Too real, that means...]

2/3

[unconchonable]

Why didn't you tell me yourself? Here you are tellin' me to tell Fef about this shit so she doesn't find out from someone else, an' yet you didn't ewen...

3/3

[unconchonable]

[Oops just gonna, look away from Karkat, because holy shit, that's... He thought he still had a chance back there. Thought he was still alive, all this time, he thought he was alive and no one fucking told him any different.]

... Why the fuck would you just expect me to learn about it, Kar?

[He sounds a bit snippy, maybe even a little hurt.]

[bethehugejerk]

[Yep. Definitely feeling terrible now. At first he shrinks down further, face covered still by his palms, but that won't fix anything. When the snap comes, he knows it, and he drops them both away to look up.]

I'm sorry.

I don't know if you know or not yet - spoiler alert - but Kanaya comes back as a rainbow drinker after she dies. She is a big blood-drinking lightbulb of a troll. So when she came across you, she was still completely pissed by what went down, and obviously not for no reason. So she bisected you with her lipstick.

[No trying to hide from it. He should have told him earlier, so here he does now, not even trying to hide it. He does, however, add a few things after.]

I didn't tell you before because other things came up when I came back, and after that I just... wasn't sure how to tell you. I know you feel bad enough about what happened; I didn't want to make it worse with this. But should have in the first place, especially if I'm the one telling you to go tell Feferi what happened with her.

[unconchonable]

Yeah, you should hawe.

[Oops, his anger is just talking. That, and the fact he isn't even sure how to take it, while he didn't necessarily wanna go back, and still doesn't, he now knows he doesn't have anything waiting for him back there--which really only makes him not want to tell Feferi even more, but at the same time, almost makes him realize he really should tell her, considering how this is making him feel right now.]

[Somehow though, the fact it's Kanaya bothers him, that and the fact he appreantly gets bisected, yeah great thing to hear. He knew she was somehow fine afterwards, but he didn't think she'd hunt him down, how unlike Kanaya and all. Karkat wouldn't lie though, even if he didn't come out with it right away. He sighs, his expression softening to something more morose. This sucks, sucks so hard...]

... Doesn't it bother you, Kar? The fact that, yeah I'm aliwe here, but back there I'm nothin' but a chopped up fuckin' corpse? I mean, fuck... You're so concerned about me bein' a better troll, an' yet, what the fuck does it ewen matter then? When I go back, I'll be nothin' but a fuckin'... A fuckin' lifeless husk. Or, half a one anyway.

[He really just wants to get up and go to his room and brood or something, not that it'll help. He looks about ready to just get up and walk out, sitting in his spot, looking pretty damn ridged and tense, keeping his eyes from Karkat completely]

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat flinches at that anger, but says nothing to it. He's guilty, which shows in his expression, and he knows Eridan has every right to be upset at not being told sooner. For all he's seen others go through the situation, he can't particularly imagine what it's like to know you die in the permanent sense.]

[When his matesprit starts talking about the rest, though, he doesn't just let that pass.]

Don't you talk like that.

[His hands reach out, and if they can, they latch at Eridan's shoulders in an effort to make him face him.]

This has always been a second chance compared to what happens there. Am I saying this doesn't change stuff? No, I'm not. But don't you go an abandon what you've got here just because you learned that. You don't give up that easy, you don't toss everything away, you don't abandon all we've worked on and done together just because it doesn't mean anything there. Even if you didn't die, what happens here doesn't affect that place anyway. I've gone back before, you know that, you saw what happened because I couldn't remember anything from here. But did that make me give up on you, or anyone else? No, it damn well didn't.

It matters because we're here, because this is the life we're living, because this is the chance we have, and because like hell am I just going to give up that fucking easy!

[unconchonable]

[When Karkat speaks up and grabs his shoulders, he fights for a second to keep from looking at him, but then as Karkat continues, he can't help his curious eyes fixating on his features. His anger has basically subsided at this point, replaced by hurt and just general sadness. All of what Karkat's saying is true, and he knows this, recognizes this, but still just wants to throw his fit. He doesn't want to face logical thought right now, he just wants to feel shitty, act shitty and just escape and hide in his shitty fucking attitude. It's so much easier that way.]

[But by the time Karkat says that last bit, he's basically turned to completely face Karkat. He waits a moment, thinking about how to even respond, what to even do... Which he finally settles on just leaning in, if Karkat will let him, and placing his arms around his waist as he attempts to just bury his face into the crook of Karkat's neck. A muffled 'I'm sorry' there after.]

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat is at first disappointed when Eridan doesn't want to look at him, but he keeps his hold on his shoulders and doesn't cease what he's saying. Eventually he does face him, and he can see in his expression how he's thinking over what's said. He meant every word, himself. He's seen Equius get into a similar state of mind when he came back from the Veil, and while he backed off and gave him space then, that was fear and because he had Gamzee. But now, Eridan's only got him like this, and like hell he's going to let him sink into that mode of thought. Especially when it's what he said that put him there to begin with.]

[So when, at last, his matesprit sinks against him, he allows it fully. His arms curl close around his shoulders; his cheek rests against his hair and the edge of a fin. One hand reaches up to curl his fingers through that hair, rubbing soft and soothing at the scalp beneath.]

I'm sorry, too. I should have told you. Just remember that I wouldn't even be doing any of this if it felt invalid to me.