vatheon | ♋ horseshoe crab ♐

Who: Karkat and Equius
Where: Different places in Vatheon.
When: August 24, afternoon
Style: Action
Status: Closed

[The thing about hatedates is that for all the planning it may take to make them suitably infuriating to the other person, they provide a good chance to take out stress and frustration on someone else. That's what Karkat is hoping today, anyhow. The recent departure of the Signless and the Psiioniic from Vatheon put a good dent in his recent moods, but after how long Equius has waited before now, putting the date off any longer surely wouldn't be allowed.]

[At least he had the idea of it sorted already; to pull it off now, all he had to do was finalize certain aspects of the plan and set up a few things in advance. He has already made his last checks when he sends his kismesis a message.]

HEY, YOU SQUEALING HORSE'S SWEATY SHIT TUBE
IT'S DATE TIME.

[Yeah, about that. Before Karkat had told him the day, certainly, but not the specific time. Why not take the chance to make Equius wait on his word?]

WEAR SOMETHING ACTUALLY PRESENTABLE INSTEAD OF YOUR USUAL EXCUSE FOR AN OUTFIT AND GET GOING.
I WILL BE DIRECTING YOUR PATH TO THE MEETUP POINT, AND THE FIRST PLACE YOU GO TO IS HERE:

[He lists a corner where two streets cross, and goes as far as to describe one of the buildings. He wants him at a specific point, not any other corner at the intersection.]

YOU WILL BE GIVEN FURTHER DIRECTIONS ONCE YOU REACH THAT POINT
AND BE WARNED, ANY DEVIATION FROM MY ORDERS WILL BE GROUNDS FOR CANCELING THE DATE EARLY.
I WILL MAKE NO COMPROMISE.
EITHER DO AS I SAY OR GO BACK TO YOUR HIVE TO SUFFER IN BOREDOM.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Sometimes, nonverbal communication is the most effective.]

[Equius finishes his chips fairly quickly, then occupies the rest of the wait by staring at Karkat. Not just staring, but STRONG staring, the kind that creeps everyone out and that he's gotten much better about not doing. This, of course, is an exception. He's doing it on purpose.]

[When Karkat gets up, he stares for a moment or two longer, then gets up himself, and yes, he is standing straighter than usual to make himself as tall as possible.]

Don't get left behind.

[He starts towards his hive and RoboEquius, taking long, fast steps.]

[And that stare accordingly made his skin crawl now and then as he ate, and earned more than one burning glare his way in return. Eye wars. They're a thing.]

[Back to the present, however, Karkat endeavors gamely to keep astride Equius. For all he's of a short, compact build, he's not slow... but that only does so much against naturally longer legs. The result is that more than once he near has to trot to keep up, and only stubborn pride keeps him from complaining at Equius to slow down. It would just serve as invitation for mockery, he's sure.]

[But for all his kismesis has his horselike snorts, Karkat can return with irritable growling and sharp looks. If he could bore a hole with the force of his gaze, Equius would look like Feferi post-wand.]

[Every glare and crabby, grumbling noise is just an arrow of sweet black hatred into Equius' heart, and if anything, makes him walk faster. Hey, he's covered in garbage and sticky soda remnants, it's only fitting that Karkat should have to almost trot to keep up with him!]

[At the pace he sets, it doesn't take them long to get back to his hive, and RoboEquius is already standing in the yard, his arms folded across his chest, looking impassive and stoic. Equius winces inwardly when he stops a new rash of Hello Kitty stickers across the robot's hip; seriously, Nepeta, stop doing that!]

[Well, maybe it's not all bad. Equius's speed may be a pain to try to keep up with, but it means just as much that falling behind isn't weird. Generally, he tries not to! He does. But now and then it happens still, and near the end of their trip, it's on purpose. It's in that moment that Karkat slips one of his remaining vials of strength potion from his sylladex, and careful that Equius doesn't see it, downs the contents. He catches back up afterward.]

[The rest of his plan is put on short hold once they reach the hive. It's one thing for RoboEquius to be there waiting, but the stickers? That invokes a tilt of his head, more derisive than curious (seriously, the cat theme's obvious), as he gawks plainly at them.]

So what? Did you pick up a habit of girly tea parties, or did you just feel he was under-accessorized? Are you going to put him frills and bows next, or commission Kanaya for a full ball gown?

[Equius doesn't answer right away, because he's having a furious--and completely silent--argument with his robot counterpart. He manages to keep for gesturing wildly, but only barely. It seems that RoboEquius likes the stickers, and intends to keep them, and will just go back to Nepeta for more once they're removed.]

[Really, there is no talking sense into that robot. He's just going to do what he wants to do.]

Are you going to punch him or what?

[What's that about? As the moment lengthens without a proper response, Karkat peers back at Equius, brow raised. He's about to spit some subsequent remark out, however, when that impatient question hits him.]

I'll be sure to put in a word with Kanaya about the gown.

[Because, really, what was that even about? But as for punching, Karkat dashes in the next moment. It looks like he's going to go for the face, the way his fist comes up, but he pulls it at the last second - a feint. With any luck it should distract from the quick followup: a blow for the sticker-adorned hip, with none of his enhanced strength held back. Why not bust that joint, huh?]

[Equius is so used to getting the side-eye from people that he barely notices that he gets weird looks when he argues with RoboEquius.]

[Sure enough, RoboEquius falls for the feint, bringing an arm up to block it and leaving his hip unguarded, which turns out to be a very foolish decision. The blow connects, hard enough to break actual bones, not to mention an aluminum joint, and RoboEquius collapses like a chump.]

[So does regular Equius, for that matter, his leg going out from under him and his head spinning with pain.]

SHIT!

[Just as planned. Karkat watches RoboEquius go down, joint soundly busted, then looks back to the troll himself. He's not too concerned; even if the robot tries to strike at him one-legged, he has the strength advantage. What does get some thought, however, is his kismesis's condition. Surely broken bones don't transfer over, but the pain is surely something if it induced him to swear.]

What's the matter, Equius? Can't take some actual pain?

[He doesn't want to overdo it, caliginous relationship or not, however, which is why he holds back on anything else for the moment. Surely the chance won't go far while he judges what he can do.]

[His hip isn't broken, just severely bruised, and Equius glares up from his prone position. He struggles to his feet, but the one side is still too painful to take his weight, so he lurches gracelessly to the side. It's a good thing Nepeta isn't here, because his posture and positioning would be a little too eerily familiar for her.]

You sniveling little coward, sneaking a STRENGTH potion like that!

[He's actually kind of impressed at the ingenuity of it, and eagerly looking forward to a good fight. He stands tall, cracks his knuckles, and wades in.]

[That answers that. The point isn't to disable his kismesis into a non-threat. This is a rivalry, and better served by letting things stay interesting. Besides, he accomplished his primary goal; and if Equius wants to fight directly, why not take the opportunity?]

Admit it: you're just pissed off I was clever enough to try it.

[He goes to him now, and starts with a punch aimed for his gut. He's not necessarily expecting it to hit, and he keeps his other arm defensively in front of himself. Mostly, this is to gauge things.]

[Well, yeah, that's kind of the point! He's mad that he didn't see Karkat take the potion.]

[Equius tries to block the gut punch, but he's only partially successful; his balance is thrown off by his injured hip and Karkat's fist grazes his ribs instead. He hisses, his eyes narrowed behind his shades, and tries to get a punch of his own in under Karkat's raised arm.]

[The thing about guarding his side with one arm and punching with the other, is that he's still left with a side unguarded. Equius rightly picks this spot to punch, and Karkat isn't quite quick enough to avoid it. Even if he had guarded it, it would still hurt. He stumbles back with a grunt. Strengthening potion means this isn't the bone-crushing, organ-pulverizing strike it could be, though, so the fight goes on!]

[And how? By Karkat leaping bodily at him. It's not an elegant move, but with Equius's hip hurting as it is, his goal is to tackle him to the ground.]

[Karkat uses Flying Leap Tackle! It's highly effective!]

[Between the way his hip is still throbbing and sweeps of ingrained training to go limp when someone pouncetackles him, Equius collapses under the onslaught like wet tissue paper. He lands on his back and goes skidding, Karkat's momentum pushing him through the dirt until he crashes up against the fence.]

[He snarls and reaches up, attempting to get a grappling hold.]

♋ horseshoe crab ♐

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