(no subject)

[stayb100ponyboy]

Characters: Equius Zahhak and Gamzee Makara
Location: The Hive of Inappropriate Touching and Hugs, now featuring a Darkleer's fist-shaped stained glass window!
Time: After this thread
Style: STRONG
Status: Closed

[As requested, Equius slinks off to find Gamzee. That was a pretty embarrassing confession he just vomited out, and he really just wants to go out in the backyard and brood with the chocobos for awhile. Buuuuuut then he'd just have to talk about it later.]

[His life is suffering.]

[He finds Gamzee in their room, and stands in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and looking nervous and impossibly uncomfortable. Also sweaty.]

Hey.

Comments

[stayb100ponyboy]

Really.

[Equius is flushing, just a little, at having admitted that.]

Maybe... you could ask him if you can too? I don't think he would mind.

[420]

Maybe, yeah.

[Gamzee settles back against him again, eyes on the clasped hands, squeezing him back slightly.]

He's a good motherfucker.

[stayb100ponyboy]

He really is. I loved Aurthor, but I think Darkleer is what having a human dad must be like.

[Stupid embarrassing confessions!]

/SHOVES SOME MORE ANGST AT THIS

[420]

Hahah yeah. He's real fuckin' aces.

[He laughs.]

All like my Goat what I fuckin' hate him sometimes.

[Gamzee's jaws shut with an audible click, what good humour had been on his face instantly gone.]

ALWAYS MORE ANGST

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Equius doesn't answer right away, instead choosing to hold Gamzee tightly for a few moments, stroking his hair with his free hand.]

Yeah?

[There's no condemnation in that question, no aggression; just a simple response, indicating that if Gamzee wants to talk more, Equius will listen, but if he doesn't, that's okay too.]

I GOTTA PUT IT SOMEWHERE

[420]

[Gamzee's fingers knot, and he doesn't look at Equius, though he isn't pulling away either.]

Shouldn't have told that.

HERE IS A GOOD PLACE

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Equius squeezes Gamzee's hand in a way that he hopes is reassuring.]

Want to talk about it?

[420]

No. I ain't supposed to fuckin' feel harsh with him. That ain't right.

[stayb100ponyboy]

Okay.

[Equius keeps his arms around Gamzee and their hands pressed together. If Gamzee doesn't want to talk about it, he's not going to push him.]

[420]

It... it ain't up and right to feel shitty at a motherfucker for something they can't all fuckin' help, right?

[stayb100ponyboy]

You feel how you feel. Doesn't change whether it's right or not.

[420]

I were just fuckin' fine without him. Motherfucker didn't all up and leave cause he were digging it. Feeling sad about that shit just ain't gonna do no motherfuckin' good.

[stayb100ponyboy]

I know you were, Gamzee.

[Equius hugs him a little tighter. He doesn't believe that, he never has, but he's trying to make his matesprit feel better, not worse.]

I'm sorry he left you alone.

[420]

He hadda fuckin' eat. Couldn't up and change that.

And he were never gone long.

[Because if you refused to count the days in between then any period could be passed off as short!]

[stayb100ponyboy]

I know, Gamzee. I know. He shouldn't have left you like that.

[Ahem...]

[420]

You know, I ain't fuckin' thinkin' I would've done any fuckin' better with him dead cause he couldn't grub on nothing.

[grouch grouch grouch.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

I never said you did.

[Soothe soothe soothe.]

[420]

[He blows out a grouchy puff of breath, leaning back more against Equius' chest.]

Aight.

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Equius pets Gamzee's hair for a bit, unsure about how to proceed.]

I never knew you felt that way about him.

[Honestly, he didn't! He always thought Gamzee loved his goat with the same zealous devotion he gave to his religion.]

[420]

[He does! Sometimes he just can't help the little doubts from slipping in.]

I... sometimes he were away a whole fuckin' long time and I started up and thinkin' stupid shit. Ain't important.

[stayb100ponyboy]

Well, if you ever want to talk about...

[Equius trails off. There, he's made the offer. Whether or not Gamzee chooses to act on it is up to him.]

[420]

He's gone, brother. Wouldn't be making no difference.

[stayb100ponyboy]

That doesn't change the way you feel.

[420]

Ain't change nothing either. Me all gettin' fuckin' down at myself didn't bring him back no quicker. Better just to forget about that then.

[And easier to just eat an extra pie or two.]

[stayb100ponyboy]

All right.

[Equius gives Gamzee a gentle, easy squeeze.]

How's your robogoat doing?