vatheon | Oh, I'm taking time to think and I [Open

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Oh, I'm taking time to think and I [Open - OOC Knock First]

Who: Caden (Riku Replica) and Ventus (then Riku?)
Where: Caden's apartment
What: Serious talk after a seriously uncouth moment
When: 5/8 after Riku and Ven both said they needed to talk to him. So naturally he's hiding from them.

[[OOC: If you want to talk to (or yell at) Caden, then please just ask first and start a separate thread. Prose or Action is fine by me.]]

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He'd meant well! But just like in Castle Oblivion, when he'd been trying to protect Naminé only to hurt Sora and help the Organization in the process, it blew up in his face. Just the other day he'd seen Ventus literally fall over from stress - and over what? His Master dying. Caden had only assumed that this Master had been a kind, loving person the way that Ventus had described the father-figure.

Then Terra and Mickey started claiming they were entitled to embarrass Riku, to make him upset from what Caden could see, and Katsu too - because they were Riku's Masters? Give him a break! No one was allowed to do that! It was just like when Axel and Lea fought; he didn't understand that either. They were saying such harsh things to each other and yet... they were still close? It was still okay? He didn't get it then and he didn't get it now... why everyone was mad at him when he'd only been trying to stick up for Riku and Ven.

So he huddled in his room, head to his knees, trying to remember that weightless, thoughtless place between life and rebirth.

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Living together meant that Ven had somewhat of an advantage in this case: because naturally the first place he was going to look was Caden's room. It was an upsetting and awkward situation for him, because he'd gotten an idea of what his friend had been trying to do. But that had resulted in Terra finding out in a very blunt and thoughtless way that a man he'd loved and admired as a father had died.

Naturally, he'd be upset. And so was Ven. Though he still had no idea how to talk about it. It had everything to do with his best friend being from the past, and Ven being more than a little of a failure with how to word such horrible news.

He wasn't mad at Caden. But they needed to talk. So after first checking around the rest of the apartment with no luck, Ven knocked on the closed door to his bedroom.

"Hey... if you're in there, can we talk?" He sounded as tired as he was, but not angry.

The sheer downtrodden tone of Ven's voice hurt and for a moment Caden didn't answer. Still with his head down, Caden finally murmured back, "About what? I said something I shouldn't have and now everyone's mad at me for it."

He firmly believed everyone, including Ven, surely wanted nothing more than to tell him why he was wrong, what he'd done wrong, and how to stop being such a screw-up. Somehow, it was so easy for everyone else to claim that people they'd never met were their friends - like Mickey had - and then scold him later in public for violating some unspoken rule. Some friend.

"You can leave if you want. I'm not asking you to be stay with a stupid replica who can't do anything right."

This whole situation just sucked for everyone involved in it. The ones who'd scolded Caden weren't able to understand where he came from. Their lives sure weren't perfect, but they knew the basic rules of conduct in social situations. Ven wouldn't want them not to, like he hadn't at first. But at least it lent him the ability to understand.

So he moved into the room, and sat down next to his friend. "I'm not mad."

This he admittedly quietly, before he rubbed a hand over his face. He sighed, and continued. "And you're not stupid. Not knowing something never means that."

There was no way he was going anywhere. Reaching forward, he touched Caden's arm and squeezed a little.

"I don't want to leave. I want to help."

To help he and Terra both. Though it looked like Mickey was handling his best friend just fine right now. There still were no words he could come up with to explain this to Terra without hurting him, and maybe he shouldn't worry too much about that. In the end... maybe he'd hurt his friend more than if he'd just come out and said it.

Despite what Ven said, Caden raised his head in his frustration as he shrunk away from the touch a little. "Don't you get it? You can't help me - if Riku can't then..." He furrowed his eyes. "I'm defective or something. My memories are so messed up and I thought that a new name meant a new chance, but I really haven't changed at all in the whole year I've lived." That wasn't true, but in this moment he believed it; it was because how he was feeling now was reminiscent of that confrontation with Riku when his world fell apart.

His voice got weak. "I was never supposed to be in the first place. What makes you think I'd be any good at living if that's the case? All I do is hurt people - even Riku, who's the closest... friend I have."

Terra and Mickey were secondary to Riku and Ven, followed by Katsu. If he lost those bonds, he knew he really would break.

"I get that I can't help you if you won't let me." This was brutal honesty, though he said the words very quietly. And the thing was, he did get it. Because he hadn't let Terra and Aqua help him, ten years ago. Look where it'd landed him. This wasn't going to happen again. Some things just couldn't be solved by yourself. Ven looked Caden in the eye, and smiled crookedly.

"Nobody can go through a whole year without changing even a little bit. I bet you've come a long way from where you started and if I could remember being here before, I'd be sitting here saying the same thing."

He was able to be strong up until Caden became even more upset. Words wouldn't be enough to get through to him--the ones his friend had just said to him were also some of the saddest he'd ever heard. It hurt to think the other boy felt this way about himself. Without even thinking, Ven leaned forward and hugged him. It was awkward at first, since he was used to being the huggee as opposed to the hugger. But he was quick to relax.

"But you are, and I'm glad. Living..." He saw flashes of himself, after his memory, his past had been wiped clean. "Is something you learn how to do. With a lot of help. You didn't hurt them on purpose, and I knew that. I still do."

He had to add, because Caden needed the boost to his spirits: "You're a good friend. I don't know how I'd have made it through the past few days without you." It was true, plain and simple.

Caden had never been hugged before. This wasn't one of those alien concepts to him - it'd simply never happened. Riku wasn't the hugging type and neither Sora nor Lea had had the occasion - not even Ven the first time. So at first he didn't do anything, while Ventus was busy being awkward himself.

He crumpled against his new-old friend, just absorbing everything Ven was saying and making him feel. "You're really glad?" Ven could say that without even remembering him?

He startled babbling as his voice cut in and out. "I was just thinking of you, I swear. You were so sad about it and then what they said... I'm sorry."

Unfortunately, he made himself feel worse by saying that. He broke down while being hugged. "I'm so sorry."

There was something else he wanted to say, though, and so calmed his tears just long enough for it. "But you know what? ... I'm really glad you made through those days too."

Ven stayed put, tightening his grip once he'd fully relaxed. He'd already been emotional anyway, but seeing yet another friend of his upset had him on the verge of tears, too. Crying in front of others wasn't something he liked to do. Making other people sad sucked. But everyone was already sad anyway. What did it matter? He took a shaking breath, and let himself go for a while before he could respond quietly:

"'Course I am." It was true. And, he was glad he'd come here again. If he hadn't, he'd have slept right through Caden's demise and never gotten to make this friend at all. Everything had happened for a reason; his own second chance, and Caden's second and third. They were here for some purpose. For once, Ven wasn't going to distrust it or complain.

"I... I know. I could tell you didn't know they were joking."

He closed his eyes, and continued to stand there hugging his friend for a long time. Caden meant what he'd said, and it was enough. The hurt that had been done was because of Xehanort, and Ven's own omission of what'd happened. There really was no perfect way to break news like that, was there?

Opening his eyes again, he glanced at the other boy before smiling a little more. The most he had since before Mickey'd told him about Eraqus. "Thanks. I had some good company."

That made the edge of Caden's mouth twitch up into a half-smile. "I think I had some pretty good company too."

He sat up a little, still leaning against Ventus. "Do you think that..." He thinned his lips. "Is there anything I can say... to any of them? Or do?"

It was a big change in reaction to his perceived mistreatment by someone compared to in the past. The whole organization could burn for all he cared, maybe even Axel. However, even though he still felt like the mistreatment was a bit of an over-reaction, that was starting to make him want to repair things even more. Whatever had earned their ire, Ven was making him believe it was worthwhile to change. That he could change - it was the kind of hope Riku gave him too.

So why did it feel different?

That was an improvement. Ven kept up his own smile for awhile. "Thanks."

He leaned back just enough to look at Caden properly, and nodded. "I think apologizing works. I'll have to be saying a few of those, too." He grimaced. And he had no excuse. By now he knew better than to keep things from his friends.

It was a good sign, that he was wondering about it. He was calming down, and so was he in turn. This conversation was giving him hope, too. That even if he'd royally screwed up while knowing better, there was always a way to try and make amends. Caden wouldn't be alone in this, and it was probably best for them both.

It was ...nice. To not feel alone. He didn't feel hopeless anymore, though he still had to admit he'd been an idiot. His smile made a return.

"It'll be fine. I get where you're coming from, because I've been there. You're not going to be alone in trying to figure it out. It's something I'm still working on. We might as well do it together."

"Why would you have to work on anything - change anything - about yourself?" He was blinking his eyes clear. "You're the nicest person I know."

Some part of him knew that in spite of hurting Riku, he might be able to forgive him. Nothing really could be worse than trying to kill him - except maybe going after Katsu, Caden now realized, but of course he had no intention of that. It was Ven he was most worried about - there was a reason he'd been unable to miss Ven's light when they first met.

He separated himself in order to look Ventus's face straight on. "I'll clean up my own mess. I'll tell them it was my fault. Then you won't have to apologize." If there was any way for Ven to save face in this disaster, he was willing to do it.

"I was too scared to tell Terra about what happened to our Master." He admitted this quietly, regret plainly written on his face. "I just need to grow up, I guess." Tilting his head, he also blinked and his features seem to relax and soften a little.

"Really? Thanks. You know, you're one of the nicest people I know, too."

Just like he'd hurt Terra, and the chance that remained there that he too might be forgiven. Believing that the worst possible outcome was the only possible outcome would accomplish nothing. Caden was helping him stay positive in a rare moment of uncertainty for him.

Stepping back, Ven dropped his arms to his sides. "That's good, but I still need to apologize to Terra. I didn't want him to get hurt, and he's ended up more hurt than he would've been if I'd just told him what Mickey told me."

This was going to eat at him until he made it right; that much was certain. But not on an empty stomach. His own chose this moment to rumble, causing him to look sheepishly at his friend.

"Mind if we go find something to eat? We'll think better on a full stomach."

Right. As though hiding in a place when he had a giant key would work. Though he would wait for a while, both letting Caden pull himself together when he debated with himself about what had happened after that little outburst. He knew his 'bro' had probably meant well, though that comment... Riku couldn't help but wonder what had happened, himself.

Yet he said nothing, instead continuing on for a while like it hadn't happened (a lie), before finding himself with that one Coat on again and knocking on someone's door. He can tell you're in there, Caden. Please don't make him break in when he came to be civilized... for once.

Riku's presence would be unmistakable, but for that Coat. Rather than invite whoever it was in, where Ven was dealing with his own problems in his own room, Caden just came to the door and immediately ran out past the other person. Then he spun to face-

"Riku."

He took a step back, worried - not fearful, but simply distressed at what he'd done and how it had affected his friendships. On top of that, what he'd accidentally seen... well, this was one time he wasn't sure he wanted to see his 'bro.'

"Running again, huh."

He shook his head, not really judging exactly. More concerned than anything. Mickey had gone to Terra, so he'd decided on his own to speak with the one who, with all their differences, still had similarities. Not unlike him and Xehanort, but at least not as bad of a connotation.

It was a nap, alright? Or an attempt at one. Stupid SFC acting up. "...Come on." He'll be following either way, 'little brother.' Might as well get used to his stubbornness. It's something most of them shared.

Caden started walking, his head hung low, until they were out of earshot of the door. "I figured everyone would hate me - not exactly running if you have no one to run from." And yes, that meant you too, Riku.

"What I said... it wasn't supposed to hurt Ven too." He was so bitterly stuck on that point in particular. He looked hopelessly lost as he looked over at Riku. "I don't know what to do to... fix this."

Riku followed, shaking his head in disbelief. Seriously, did the idiot really think one slip up would make him lose everything? Alright, not like he hadn't before Kairi and Sora had literally dragged him from the emo corner, but still.

"It takes a lot more than one mistake for real friends to abandon you." Trust him on that one; he knew it better than most. To be honest, Caden should too with how every time Sora appeared he'd easily forgiven them both. "I know. It's hard to tell what will happen with what we say, huh."

He paused in speech for a moment, thinking it over. "...The hardest part is always apologizing, even if it isn't said."

"Apologizing doesn't take it away, though, and the only ones I really want to apologize to are Ven and you" he finally admitted, but didn't miss a beat as he continued, clearly skipping the actual apology part. "I mean, they were ganging up on you and Katsu, weren't they? And for them to say it was okay because they were your Master... it made me angry, Riku, because I didn't want to think that Ven's Master had acted like that with him. That guy was supposed to be like Ven's father."

He grumbled a little as he turned away. "Why shouldn't they be apologizing?"

"They were, but in a teasing manner. They meant well... for the most part." But that didn't mean that it hadn't gotten underneath his skin a bit. He and Katsu were strong enough to handle it, though, so they would have handled it fine enough on their own, maybe laughed it off. Yet it didn't happen, and he could see where Caden was coming from. "Everyone takes the role differently."

He chuckled a little to himself, under his breath. "Believe me, they'll pay for it eventually." Blackmail always worked well.

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Oh, I'm taking time to think and I [Open - OOC Knock First]

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1/3

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/late as always orz

<3

:3 <3

^^

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