I use my most serious icons for these serious posts

[withoutasign]

Who: Signless and Darkleer
Where: the village on the island
When: after this
Style: painfully awkward
Status: closed

[Signless walks between the abandoned buildings of the village, looking idly at the decaying structures. Part of him wants to fix this up, because it's a shame to leave it empty like this, but he's not sure how the locals would respond to that. Besides, he doesn't have the knowledge to do it himself.]

[He's not worried about how he's moving around, either. Darkleer will find him, he's sure. And the wandering is the closest he'll get to nervous pacing.]

Comments

[aim_exorable]

[Darkleer isn't exactly searching. He's not particularly eager to leave where he is. But with all his wandering about, Signess will be sure to come upon one of the buildings, a large shadow falling over the porch on which Darkleer sits. With the darkness of the approaching night and that, details are lost. But something can be seen being fiddled about in his hand. An arrow, of some kind.]

[Sitting out a small ways away from him is his SFC, now abandoned, and an empty shot glass. There's no heavy smell of alcohol, however; he only had one drink or two.]

[He shifts, uneasily, as he sees Signless approach.]

Hello.

[withoutasign]

[Darkleer, you booze hound, lay off the hooch!]

Hi.

[Signless walks up onto the porch and takes a seat on another chair, across from Darkleer. He probably should be concerned about that arrow in the other troll's hand, but he isn't.]

[aim_exorable]

[Don't you judge him!]

[Darkleer seems to shrink when Signless approaches, shaking once before going still again. Unfortunately, booze's property of 'liquid courage' doesn't seem to be doing much but he finally gets himself to speak.]

I... I apologize. To wish that you did not exist was uncalled for and... and untrue. They were words born of a frightened coward who knew no better.

[withoutasign]

Oh.

[Wow, he really didn't expect this!]

Thank you. I appreciate that, it means a lot to me.

[aim_exorable]

[A small, almost timid nod and Darkleer holds the arrow closer to himself.]

I... [A deep breath.] I had a great many things, before. More than just material items and prestige. There were trolls who... relied on me. [A defensive tone suddenly enters his voice.] Good trolls as much as they were loyal soldiers. Friends.

To be a, a traitor is shameful. I never wanted that, but...

[He pauses, throat tight and heart beating hard inside his chest.]

Doing the... right thing. That means... giving up things. People. Sometimes. Doesn't it?

[His voice drops.]

I just...

[withoutasign]

[If it were anyone else, Signless would be crossing the porch to hug them right now. Somehow, though, he thinks that would just drive Darkleer further away. So he stays where he is, but his voice is soft and kind when he answers.]

It's hard doing the right thing, isn't it? Especially when everyone else thinks it's the wrong thing.

[He shifts in his seat, subtlely adjusting himself to be closer, more open, to Darkleer.]

But if you know it's wrong, it hurts worse in the long run to go along with what everyone else wants.

[aim_exorable]

I want to stop ruining things...

[Darkleer doesn't relax. In fact, he even starts to shake, slightly. This is too open than how he ever wanted to be to almost anyone save for a very few people. In fact, maybe even only one.]

I thought I'd stopped... I want to.

[withoutasign]

But look how you're fixing things.

People aren't like machines, Darkleer. There's very few things you could do that would ruin things beyond repair.

[Signless pauses, considering.]

Did you ever ask Summoner about how he heard about my teachings?

[aim_exorable]

[Just a shake of his head.]

[Signless, he's been trying very very hard to be in denial about the fact that his matesprit is another rebel leader who is also your most avid fanboy ever.]

[withoutasign]

[He's going somewhere with this, he promises.]

He didn't find out about me or what I taught until he'd risen through the ranks and was already high up in the military. Those followers had to learn it from somewhere. Maybe it was your old squad who kept it alive, who spread the teachings and ideas, after seeing what you did. Maybe they all agreed with you and were honoring you in the only way they knew how.

[aim_exorable]

[Signless, you might not be able to see it, but Darkleer is staring at you like your weird mutant blood has made you sprout another head.]

[There were only three of his personal squadron left in the end... And he honestly can't see them risking it all just because of him. Well. Most of them.]

...I don't... believe that would happen.

[withoutasign]

[Most isn't all, Darkleer. Check your math.]

But you admit that it's a possibility?

[aim_exorable]

After everything that happened during the rebellion... It would be suicide to do something like that. I can only imagine how closely the Archeradicators were watched after I was sent away... and exile is a rare punishment.

...Perhaps one.

[withoutasign]

Well then, there you go.

What you did mattered, Darkleer. Even if you lost everything, you showed the rest of Alternia that even the highbloods weren't immune to change, or to blindly keeping with the status quo. You were very brave, and you did the right thing.

[aim_exorable]

[He makes a small, helpless noise in the back of his throat. Subconsciously, he's leaning closer rather desperately. Right now, he's just too worn down to try and be nothing more than a wall.]

I... I didn't do it soon enough. [Then, bursting from him like a dam breaking-] I'm sorry.

[withoutasign]

[Moving very slowly, telegraphing his movements, Signless reaches out and tries to put a hand on the other troll's shoulder.]

But you did it eventually, and that's all that matters.

[Oh... and Signless' heart almost breaks to hear that.]

I know you are. And I forgive you.

I was going to say fuck you and that icon 8U

[aim_exorable]

[Darkleer doesn't shy away from that hand this time, but he does shake harder like he doesn't know what he's supposed to do.]

How? How? I was one of those who shot down your followers, who helped hunt you down, who killed you!

How can you- [His voice breaks and his throat closes up, making him fall silent.]

[In the Alternia that the Condesce has raised, forgiveness is such an obscene, foreign concept.]

WELL IN THAT CASE

[withoutasign]

Oh, Darkleer...

[Signless stands up then, creeping closer until he's standing next to Darkleer, his hand still on his shoulder.]

But you were also the one who broke the chain, who had the courage to stand up, in front of the Condesce and everyone, and say no, this is wrong, and I will no longer be a part of it. I can't even fathom how much courage that took.

you right tosser!!! D8<

[aim_exorable]

[The movements are watched with all the nervousness of a skittish horse, and Darkleer almost lowers his head, horns down, in defensiveness. He still shakes.]

I didn't... I didn't do anything compared to... [He swallows hard.] You.

bwahahahahahaha

[withoutasign]

[Signless doesn't push it; instead, he stays where he is, standing beside Darkleer, but only touching him on the arm. Very slowly, he rubs his hand back and forth, slow and soothing, in small circles on Darkleer's arm.]

You can't compare acts of bravery, Darkleer; it's meaningless. What is brave for one troll is wiggler's play for another. Psii is brave everyday when he leaves the hive. Summoner is brave when he fights with the Grand Highblood. Gamzee is brave when he does things that might cause your disapproval. Different acts, but all equally brave to the troll doing them.

hisssssss

[aim_exorable]

[He's pretty sure that Gamzee forgetting to wear pants doesn't constitute as 'brave', Signless, but that is a discussion for another time.]

I don't know... what to do now. I needed it. I needed that, that control over me.

I don't know what should happen now...

[withoutasign]

Well... what do you want to happen?

[aim_exorable]

[Wow that is a question he honestly doesn't know! Particularly for the long term, as much as there is a long term in this place.]

[It's after a long pause that he speaks, clinging the arrow to his chest.]

I want to stop regretting things.

[withoutasign]

All right.

[Slowly, carefully, Signless slides his hand up Darkleer's arm. If the highblood will allow it, he'll put it around his shoulders.]

I can help you with that, if you'll let me, and if you want my help.

[aim_exorable]

[Another shudder but, tentatively, Darkleer seems to press against the touch.]

How...?