The night has left this ten-folded grief

[ex_ventus850]

Who: ventus and anyone.
Where: Lakeside, in Somarium.
When: 4/27 after this thread.
What: Ven's just been given the bad news that his master's dead and has run off.
Status: Open.
Style: Action or prose.

The nightmare had been horrible. But bearable. As much as it'd played on his fears, it'd been about something he'd since overcome and emerged from already. But the news given to him by Mickey just a few short hours before had all but crushed whatever hope he'd had that he and his friends could go home to their master and be a happy family again. His master... was dead.

Gone. The shock that'd first greeted the loss was gone, replaced with a wrenching, twisting pain in his heart so great that it was difficult to breathe. The man had been the only father he'd been able to remember. The only adult who'd ever cared enough to be overprotective of him and teach him everything he'd need to know before he'd be permitted to go out and face the world on his own.

He'd ignored that wish blatantly. And accused him of horrible things, that last time.

That's your excuse for keeping me imprisoned here, isn't it?!

Forgive me. But you must exist no more!

Ven closed his eyes, clutching his shaking hands into twin fists at his sides as the tears started to fall. He was alone, away from everyone who might want to tell him that it was all right. As much as he appreciated it, he just needed to deal with this. And the fact that one of his friends knew, while the other... probably had.

And probably hadn't known how to tell them. He couldn't imagine, being in Aqua's position. he was a little mad at her for not saying anything, but... it would pass. Overshadowed by the grief he knew he'd be feeling for a long time.

At least he'd be able to get the worst of this out of his system while he was alone.

He didn't need to hear false words of reassurance right now. Everything was not all right.

And it'd never be the same again.

Comments

[ex_ventus850]

"Yeah I do." Ruca was here. Despite the fact that he'd deliberately isolated himself from any and everyone in order to deal with this alone, he'd come out here and stayed. Not even his best friends had done that, though they were used to Ven needing his space where nobody else here was.

The fact that he wasn't alone was driven home when Ruca's hand didn't leave his arm. The blond relaxed, and choked once. It was still hard to keep from crying.

"I don't want to believe he's gone." It was admitted brokenly, and he couldn't look Ruca in the eye.

"I just don't."

[demonicbookworm]

Ruca watched Ven in silence for a moment, before his gaze dropped to the ground. He sighed softly, feeling helpless. He couldn't help but think that what he was doing wasn't working at all.

Yet, he thought that he could understand how Ven was feeling and he wasn't hoping he would cheer him up just like this. Losing someone must have been really painful and Ven needed time, too. Ruca could only imagine that he would feel the same if something like that happened to his parents or his friends.

Losing someone... That thought itself was terrifying and the silver-haired boy quickly discarded it. He needed to think... or maybe he was already thinking too much? He didn't know.

Then again he wondered if he should start saying that it would be okay... but how would that help? The answered was it wouldn't at all. And he doubted that it was what Ven wanted to hear anyway.

But the way the other was keeping himself from crying... it was also worrying Ruca a bit. He let out one more soft sigh and before he managed to think over that idea, he wrapped his hands around Ven in an awkward sort of a hug. Awkward because, really, Ruca wasn't the one who usually was giving hugs to his friends.

[ex_ventus850]

Ven could definitely do with thinking less. His problem was that he was way overthinking it, overanalyzing every last second of that final encounter with his Master, to find ways that he could've saved him or kept the situation from escalating the way it had. Maybe it'd have been better if his Master had obliterated him from existence completely. It was a dangerous line of thought.

The truth was, he was scared to have to admit to himself that there was absolutely nothing that he could've done or not done to have changed anything. His death would've only temporarily stalled Xehanort's plans. So rather than see this simple truth as fact and accept it, he put all the blame upon his own shoulders.

He closed his eyes and took a breath to steady himself, and stave off the urge to break down a little while longer. Ven had never been one to like showing negative emotion in front of his friends. Even just this, how much Ruca was seeing was difficult for him. But the moment the other boy's arms went around him, he started to shake a little. If he couldn't cry, it seemed it had to be let out some other way.

Despite the shivering, he was able to hesitantly return the hug. Though he couldn't admit it now, he'd needed one badly.

[demonicbookworm]

Ruca frowned with worry, when Ven started to shake. The other was trying too much to stay strong, didn't he? It wasn't anything good. When someone needs to cry, isn't it best if they just do? Wouldn't holding back your tears just make things even worse?

"...If you want to cry, then cry." he muttered softly, his voice seemed to be barely audible, but he was sure that Ven could still hear him. "If you hold back your tears it won't help..."

He fell silent for a moment. What could possibly help Ven right now?

"I guess... crying won't help either - nothing can change what happened, but..." he paused again, wondering for a brief moment if what he just said wasn't actually harsh. He hugged the other a little bit tighter. "It'll be even more difficult... so cry if you feel like you need to cry. I'm here. I won't leave..."

I can't do anything, can I?

"I really wish it wasn't the only thing I can do for you right now."