vatheon | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Pouncer, pouncee, and horrified spectator (Nepeta, Gamzee and Equius)
Where: Casa de Hoofbeast
When: Early morning
Style: Prose
Status: Closed

The furocious furbeast prowled the edges of her prey's territory, the large ~~respite block~~ forest clearing in the middle of which two magnificent hoorbeasts slept on a ~~mattress~~ square of soft grass, unaware of the imminent danger. They were in. The pouncebeast had stalked them before now and knew well their habits, and now that she was in need of a good ~~cuddle~~ meal there would be no escape for the unsuspecting hoofbeasts!

Nepeta giggled silently to herself. This was going to be sooo much fun.

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The b100 hoofbeast slumbered on, completely unaware of the mortal peril ~~his dignity~~ he was in. This ~~hive~~ forest had known furbeasts and their pounce attacks in the past, but never ~~upstairs~~ in these deep, uncharted regions. He had no reason to expect an attack.

Equius made a soft, snorting noise in his sleep.

No, what, screw you guys, he wants to be a goat. Not a hoofbeast. Gosh.

The indigo goat slumbers gracefully against his hoofbeast mate~~sprit~~, his elbow kinda smushed up against his face and his legs everywhere, and shut up, it is really fuckin' elegant, ok. He too is unaware of any impending ~~cuddles~~ attacks, having lived most of his life in a region without furbeasts.

Then again, he is kinda unaware of a lot of things. Easy prey.

GOATS HAVE HOOVES TOO, GAMZEE, gosh stop being so difficult.

The easiest of prey! Too easy, almost, and they seem to be sleeping so peacefully that the purrbeast almost felt bad at her plans that would definitely involve them waking up. Purrhaps she should come back later...

No, what was she thinking?! No pouncebeast ever abandoned its prey once it was within its sights! (And besides, she'd resisted the temptation to do exactly this countless times before, they've had enough quiet nights already without being pounced, darnit.)

She crouched, paws at the ready and tail twitching in the air, wriggling back and forth slowly as she aimed...

No! What is this?! Is the mighty, fearsome indigo goat stirring?! Perhaps it has spotted the nearness of the dangerous pouncebeast and--

Yeah, no. Gamzee does stir a little, but only to sprawl out in a slightly different position. It is a wonder that Equius puts up with this ever night. Especially considering the fact that he seems to be drooling a little too.

Nepeta stopped wriggling around for a brief moment because awww, Gamzee was so cute when he was asleep.

But this will not save him from the hungry pouncebeast! Her time has come!!

The tiniest increase to her crouch as she wound up all her energy for the most ferocious pounce ever, and then she leapt, soaring into the air and clearing their room with ease - but Gamzee having distracted her had accidentally changed her target! Instead of landing right between them, she realized she was about to land right on top of him!

...oh well X33

Which normally wouldn't have been much of a problem. Gamzee doesn't mind Nepeta pouncing on him. It is kinda funny really. Except this time. Well. Her landing spot is kinda...

"Motherfuckin' hell." Gamzee jerks upright when she lands on him, instantly awake, his voice several octaves higher than normal.

That's what getting nailed right in the bulge does to a bro.

Hey, if Gamzee can put up with Equius swimming in his own sweat, Equius can put up with indigo sleep drool.

The pounce, and Gamzee's screech, wake up Equius, and he freezes, exactly where he's laying. He has no idea what just happened, but he knows if he reacts too STRONGLY, someone is getting hurt. So he just stays still.

Gamzee's shriek was followed by another high-pitched one from Nepeta - at least it was her normal voice and not because a very important bit of her had been broken, though. She had no idea what was wrong, but it sounded serious! She'd landed right in his lap, she'd jumped into his lap lots of times before, what could have gone wrong this time?!

"Gamzee?! Gamzeeeee, oh no, did I hurt you, I'm sorry, I just wanted to surprise you both!!" Equius Equius help what does she do she broke your boyfriend oh no. She shook her moirail's shoulder, not realizing he was awake and simply not moving. If she'd been any less startled she'd have realized there was no way he'd have managed to sleep through the racket they were making.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Gamzee murmurs a litany of curses under his breath, his hands cupped around his bulge. Oh fuck that hurt. That was it. Darkleer had never had to worry about him and Equius getting frisky on the couch ever again because he was never going to be able to use this thing again. Goodbye sweet dreams of ever getting some, goodbye hopes of ever filling a bucket when he was older. From now on he had to live his life ~~like eridan~~ like a nun. That was the human word for people who didn't get any, right?

Pretty sure the human word for people who never score is Eridan.

Okay, Equius has had time to assess the situation, and he thinks he knows what just happened. Nepeta has done that to him a time or two before, hence the always going limp and collapsing thing.

"Nepeta, would you please move so I can sit up? And then can you go downstairs and get a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer?"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry Gamzee oh my paws what did I do did I break him?!" Nepeta was quite sure that she'd never done exactly this to Equius whatever 'this' was and hence the imminent breakdown into hysterics because oh her paws noooo she pounced Gamzee and broke him this is all her fault poor Gamzee aaaaaaah.

She moved aside automatically but that was all she did, hovering anxiously over her moirail's matesprit.

Awww, no, Nepeta, don't make those faces. Gamzee can't stand up to those faces. He pushes a bit more upright, one hand still around his bulge, the other trying to wave away her concerns. "Shit, it's cool. I'm aight." His voice still sounds a little awkwardly high, before glancing at Equius. 'Ow,' says that look. And also, 'do something'. But mostly just 'ow'.

Edited 2012-04-03 15:02 (UTC)

"Nepeta. Ice. Now. I can fix this, but I need ice." For just a moment, Equius uses his snooty highblood voice, but then he lowers it when he sees that look on Gamzee's face. "I'd get it myself, but the bags explode when I touch them. Come on, hurry up."

Nepeta snapped to attention as that particular voice got through to her, even if she was still completely unconvinced that Gamzee was all right. She saw that look too.

But she nigh on flew right off the bed in her haste to fetch the ice, almost knocking herself out on Equius in the process, and they'll be able to hear her skipping the stairs completely as she jumped all the way downstairs.

When she is gone, skidding down the stairs, Gamzee flops down again, shamelessly and gingerly poking at his bulge through his pyjama pants. Not sexy here. Just him trying to assess the damage to his clown tenders. "Fuck, that fuckin' hurts."

"Does anything feel like it got twisted around? Or did she only bump it?"

Only bump it, he says. Equius knows how badly a shot to the bulge hurts--it only took one poorly programmed robot before he learned how to overwrite that little trick--but right now he wants to make sure Gamzee hasn't done any permanent damage to himself. He has future plans for that bulge, okay?

Before they know it Nepeta is back with enough ice to freeze half a troll. She may have left the freezer open in her panic too...

"Is he okay??? What's wrong with him, what did I do??" Have all the ice, Equius. ALL OF IT.

Hopefully those are really future plans because it doesn't feel like his bulge is gonna be working any time soon. "Just a fuckin' bump. It's--" Oh hello, Nepeta. And hello, ice. He quickly liberates the bag of ice from here, dropping it on his bulge and sighing softly. Okay. Better. Freezing cold, but better.

"Thank you, Nepeta." Equius observes as Gamzee coats himself with ice, and the relief on his face is palpable. If ice makes it feel that much better, it must not be too serious.

"You landed poorly when you pounced," he explains to Nepeta. "You landed somewhere very sensitive, and Gamzee is going to need awhile before he feels better."

Nepeta watched Gamzee in trepidation and visibly looked relieved as soon as the ice really did seem to be helping him. So relieved that the exact meaning of Equius’ words didn’t get through to her right away.

It was easy to see the moment they did. Mostly on account of the way she turned a bright shade of green.

“Oh my paws oh no no no poor Gamzee I’m soooo sorry no wonder I hurt you ahhhh this is awfuuuuul…” She slammed her face against Equius’ arm to hide her embarrassment, apologies and oh noes still ongoing.

Gamzee leans over as much as he can without the ice sliding off, patting his arm comfortingly. "It's cool, chica. I'll be fuckin' fine." Possibly without the use of his bulge for life, but hey, surely Equius can build him a robodick if needed. Somehow he doesn't imagine that being a huge problem.

Gamzee acts as though there isn't already a secret stash of robodicks buried in Equius' sylladex I mean what?

Equius considers Nepeta for a moment, then reaches up, letting one hand hover near her shoulder. He glances at Gamzee, raising his eyebrows. Hopefully, his matesprit will understand what he wants and help him. It shouldn't be too hard, considering he's not wearing his shades at the moment.

Inquiring minds would like to know if there'd conveniently be one in Tavros' size.

Nepeta was looking piteously back and forth between her moirail and his matesprit, certain that sooner or later they were going to be annoyed if not outright angry at her this time, even if Gamzee was actually being super nice about it so far and Equius hadn't even yelled or anything...

But then Equius was holding out his arm and looking over at Gamzee, and she was caught up in staring at his eyes, only really realizing now that they're not hidden behind his usual glasses. Equius had such expressive eyes, it always made her want to rub her face all over his when she saw them, and what she saw now had the rest of the worry in her chest ease away. He really wasn't mad at her.

Gamzee blinks at the look give to him, momentarily distracted by just how pretty Equius' eyes are, before he catches onto what he wants. His mouth forms a little 'oh' before he smiles, reaching over and very carefully bringing Equius' hand down onto Nepeta's shoulder.

"Thank you."

Equius says it quietly, gratefully, then turns his gaze to Nepeta.

"I know this was an accident, but please be more careful when you pounce in the future." He blinks, slow and languid, his eyelashes so long that they brush against the tops of his cheeks. At the very edges of his grey irises, there's the first faint hint of blue starting to move in.

Oh. Awwww. The gesture was so sweet that now she had happy green tears in her eyes, and she covered Gamzee's hand on Equius' with her own too, squeezing all their fingers together.

"I will be, I purromise, no more surprise pounces unless I'm really careful." Her mouth was wibbling - she wasn't upset, simply overwhelmed with so many feelings, with how lucky she was to have such an awesome moirail who understood and tolerated her so well and such an understanding friend in Gamzee too. "You are both the very very best and I care about you both so much!" she declared.

Gamzee shoots up a little more at the sight of her tears. "Aww, shit, girl, no leaking. Ain't none of that, aight? I don't fuckin' mind you jumping a brother, honest. You can up and pounce this motherfucker's back much as you want."

Really, Nepeta! Just jump on his back. Worst what could happen then is him tipping forward and smashing his face into something. But lets be honest, when does he use that?

"Yes, keep the pouncing to the back from now on, please, and everything should be okay."

Equius glances at Gamzee; he's so lucky to have such an understanding matesprit, and hopefully Nepeta isn't looking at him right now, because the sheer love shining in his eyes is a little embarrassing.

She rubbed away her tears with the back of one sleeve, making more of a mess of her face than cleaning it up but that didn't matter as long as Gamzee could see she wasn't crying any more. They hadn't even been bad tears! But smiles were always better than any kind of tears and it was definitely a wide smile being aimed at the two of them now.

"Only back pounces from now on!" She didn't even add that she promised, because she was sure that they could hear that she really really meant it. She'd never accidentally damage either of them again! ~~Until the next time she did.~~ And luckily for Equius she buried her face in his shoulder for nuzzles just then - though that may be because she caught sight of the look in his eyes and wanted to give him a moment to exchange private lovestuck glances with his matesprit.

Actually it was almost certainly for that reason, judging by the delighted giggles muffled against her moirail's skin. They were so cute! And she was unbelievably happy for Equius that he'd found someone he felt that way about.

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