[It hadn't really occurred to him. Shizuo has never really held anyone before, so he hadn't realized what it would feel like, when it matters. He automatically eases his hold just a little as he feels Izaya move - and yeah, it's control. Now that Izaya has said it, Shizuo can see it. Feel it.
And maybe it's the moment, or the joy from recognizing his sliver of control, or the fact that he's still a little sleepy, but Shizuo says the next sentence without really thinking about it.]
It's because I care.
[And even though he feels like he's said too much, wishes he had exercised more discretion, it's true. He cares. He doesn't want to crush Izaya because Izaya is important. Through every ounce of uncertainty and hurt - Izaya matters.
He always has, really. Just...differently.
Maybe that's where control starts. Through caring.]
no subject
And maybe it's the moment, or the joy from recognizing his sliver of control, or the fact that he's still a little sleepy, but Shizuo says the next sentence without really thinking about it.]
It's because I care.
[And even though he feels like he's said too much, wishes he had exercised more discretion, it's true. He cares. He doesn't want to crush Izaya because Izaya is important. Through every ounce of uncertainty and hurt - Izaya matters.
He always has, really. Just...differently.
Maybe that's where control starts. Through caring.]