[Despite the comforting intent, what Eridan gets is a scowl. He allows the hand, though.]

It's not just hair, and I wouldn't expect you to get it when you won't let me fix the furniture either. I am hardwired for symmetry, Eridan! Something about this neurotic douchebag death god's genetics makes me crave it more than you crave tight, striped pants, and yet I'm stuck with hair that defies that order.