Being robros

[stayb100ponyboy]

Who: Equius Zahhak and Dirk Strider
Where: Equius' workshop
When: backdated to immediately after this
Status: Closed
Style: STRONG and manly

After getting off the SFC, Equius wanders up to his workshop. It takes a little digging, but he manages to unearth the solar surfer he and Jim were working on. It's been quite awhile since then, and the surfer is pretty dirty, so he settles in with a rag, wiping it off and waiting for Dirk to arrive.

Comments

[shippingmath]

"Troll bodies. From your session." This is sure to be an awkward line of conversation. Dirk finally turns around anyway, because if it keeps up Equius is going to ask what Dirk specifically prototyped.

[stayb100ponyboy]

Oh, it certainly is! Equius runs through the list of dead bodies that he knows about in his head, and it doesn't add up. "But there were an odd number of dead bodies from our session. Unless you combined three together, it doesn't work out."

[shippingmath]

"We got an odd number of bodies prototyped, too. The others all got two trolls in unholy combinations. I only got one troll." Guess which? It probably isn't too hard, considering he wasn't even turning to look at Equius before.

[stayb100ponyboy]

"Tell me you didn't get Eridan." Nothing is more important than Dirk not being straddled with Eridan in his game.

[shippingmath]

"Nah, Jake got him and Sollux. Which was a clusterfuck and a half that he seemed entirely unaware of. Roxy got Feferi and Nepeta, they always had a blast together."

1/2

[stayb100ponyboy]

"That's good, Feferi and Nepeta get along well." Equius thinks for a moment. "So that means you got either Vriska, Tavros, or..."

2/2

[stayb100ponyboy]

"... me." Equius perks up considerably at that. "Did you get me, Dirk? Was I your sprite?"

[shippingmath]

"Yeah, you were." He finally cracks a smirk. "Let me tell you, even as a sprite, you are the goddamn champion of staring."

[stayb100ponyboy]

Equius breaks a rare, open smile as well. "How exquisite." Really, if he was going to be a sprite, he'd want to be Dirk's sprite. "I hope I was a good guide to you."

[shippingmath]

He shrugs. "You haven't had much chance yet. We're at a dead end, with no damn sources of grist. 'Sides, I didn't do a second prototyping for a fucking long time. Had to fend off that clown with a bunch of shitty soda to keep him from bugging me about it."

[stayb100ponyboy]

Again, Equius assumes Dirk is talking about Kurloz. "What did you prototype me with?"

[shippingmath]

"With my auto-responder." From the way Dirk says it, it isn't a decision he was happy about.

[stayb100ponyboy]

"What's an autoresponder?" Equius catches the change in tone. "Were we not a good combination?"

[shippingmath]

"An AI I made a couple years back to handle messages when I was busy doing shit. Only problem was, I intended on making him as similar to me as possible. This was back when I was thirteen. Since then I've grown and he's developed as a program, and gotten really fucking pretentious and basically goes out of his way to undermine me. Giving him the kind of agency that comes with having a corporeal sprite body was a dumbass fucking idea that I never should have followed through with." By the time he finishes talking, Dirk's hands are clenched at the edge of the table. He doesn't even notice.

[stayb100ponyboy]

"That sounds like what happened with RoboEquius," Equius offers, not noticing how Dirk is clutching the table. "I wanted him to have some autonomy, but the foolish thing thinks and acts like he's a separate version of myself." He makes a crabby gesture with a wrench. "He has a crush on Tavros. Ridiculous."

He tightens down a bolt on the solar surfer before continuing. "So if it was an AI program, than its corporeal body would be my body, correct? Why didn't that work out?"

[shippingmath]

"Because he already had enough autonomy when he was just a program in a pair of shades. Giving him a body means that, beside doing shit like ask me to touch your shared muscles, he can interfere with my plans much more directly now. And I sure as hell don't trust him to do what's best."

[stayb100ponyboy]

This is a little strange for Equius; RoboEquius misbehaves sometimes, but almost always comes around and does what he wants him to... eventually. He can't really fathom the robot actually trying to work against him in any way, and RoboEquius' ideas on interference usually involve letting Nepeta put stickers on him or mooning after Tavros.

"Do you want to touch my muscles?" Because clearly this is the important thing here.

[shippingmath]

There's no power in the world that can stop Dirk from facepalming right now. It probably looks painful, with the amount of force he puts into it. "No. I don't. Why would I want to touch them now, if I didn't want to touch prite-you's?"

[stayb100ponyboy]

"I don't know!" His muscles are pretty great, Dirk, don't even try and deny that. "Maybe it would be different if they were just my muscles and not sprite muscles? What about yours, do you want me to touch yours?"

[shippingmath]

His muscles are pretty something. Dirk's still got his head cradled in his hand, and he hasn't looked up at Equius yet. "No, I don't want you to touch mine, because there isn't that much there to touch."

[stayb100ponyboy]

"If you want bigger muscles, you should exercise with me. I could help you train and develop them." Because clearly this is what Dirk has been hinting at the whole time, right? "Darkleer has shown me a few ways to build more mass."

[shippingmath]

"Why would I want bigger muscles when I'm trying to be fast?" He's giving Equius a skeptical look now. Seriously, they've sparred before, surely the troll's had enough time to realize what Dirk's fighting style relies on most.

[stayb100ponyboy]

"Being fast is all well and good, but eventually you'll get worn out and then someone STRONGER can move in." Equius knows how much Dirk values speed, but he has some legit concerns about his human bro's abilities to defend himself. "Besides, if you add more muscles, you'll sacrifice a little speed but gain on endurance."

[shippingmath]

Dirk just frowns even more at that. He's perfectly willing to admit he's not the best out there, but he's always been focused on improving his style, not learning a new one. "Endurance ain't related to muscle size," he says. He's been able to take care of himself, this way, and the times he hasn't have been facing almost insurmountable odds, anyway.

[stayb100ponyboy]

"It can be." Equius has learned enough social cues to realize that Dirk isn't interested, and so backs off. "We should strife again sometime. I enjoyed that."