vatheon | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who; Mindfang and the Dolorosa
When; After her hissy fit
Where; Island
Style; Whichever, whatever
Status; Closed and ongoing.

Eventually her rage wears her out, fury turning to grief and Mindfang stops. She's broken so much, nails chipping, make up ruined. Her hair is in more of a tangled mess then ever and she can taste her blood from where she's cut her lip. And it hasn't changed a thing, it hasn't forced him to appear, hasn't made him see the light and if anything she jut hurts more then she did before.

And so she leaves, fleeing up to the island. The cold hits her as soon as she gets up there, dropping lower as the sun sinks but she can handle it. She's handled icy water, an her blood is cold enough that she should survive. So she slinks away from the elevator, rubbing a hand against her mouth and smearing blue blood over her cheek.

She'll stay here. At least here she should be alone. And with her communicator thrown aside earlier no one can bother her.

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"Good. At least you can remember that." It's becoming harder to speak so harshly when all she wants to do is lay down and rest, let herself cry tears she's never let go. She wants to close her eyes and pretend this place doesn't exist. Pretend she's in one of their camps, sleeping whole he makes his plans knowing he'll be back before the sunrises. She wants that all again. Without it she'd be happier to go back to being dead, a blue stained cold corpse.

She still remembers what the Dolorosa looked like, so much paler, her jade blood vivid. She assumes she had looked the same in his arms as she had looked in Mindfang's. A circle, in its own way.

She snorts at the other woman's words, rolling her eyes. Such a soft hearted one. It wasn't surprising that the Sufferer had been so abnormally sweet when you considered it. Or perhaps she had become that way because of him. Who knows. All Mindfang knows is that there's obviously a plot somewhere. "And there is the true question. There is always a price, and yet you want for nothing. So why do you want to help me so? Do you wish to get close enough to have your revenge? I could break into your mind before the blow ern hit. And besides, I've been told we do not truly die here. So it would all be pointless."

She paces, back and forth across the sand, wet footprints showing. All the while she keeps her eyes on the Dolorosa, watching, waiting for one little slip to help her work this out. The fact that all she can feel is stupid things like pity, and kindness and even a hint of forgiveness doesn't shake her mistrust. No it only confuses her further.

Remember it? She'd be hard pressed to forget anything that had happened during her time with Mindfang. Granted, a great deal of it was a shadowy blur, but that which she remembered stood out in clear and sharp technicolour. No, she'd never forget any of that. She had clung to her moments of clarity and the brief seconds that she regained her sense of self so fiercely that they would never be lost to her, no matter how much she might want to forget them now.

"I do not think that I need to do anything to you, if it is revenge that I seek," she murmured, her expression flickering to sadness for just a moment. Wasn't the other female hurting herself enough, without the Dolorosa attempting to add to it? She thought so. It would have made a much more satisfying revenge to watch her lose her mind than to attempt to drive her to it, but revenge wasn't something that was even in her thoughts. She had already died, what use would it be to her now?

"And I do not wish to attempt to take your life when it would serve no purpose to do so."

She didn't move, she just watched, her eyes following Mindfang as she paced. After a few long moments had gone by, she reached out with the aim of gently catching her arm as she passed, her grip loose and easily shaken off.

"Shut up." There's no true bite to the words, because in the end she knows, deep down it's true. Her own mind is already crumbling, a mind of a troll too focused on making sure she was always on top. Perhaps if she had developed her empathy instead of listening to the whispers of her teacher to only focus on control she'd be better. She'd be able to handle other people's feelings better so that feel of them pressing against her brain, a foreign infection wouldn't send her looking for alcohol. The facade of her has been crumbling for sweeps, starting with her releasing her control of minds for him.

She should hate him, really. It would be so easy to let red turn into black, to hate what he has made her. She feels like the puppet now, and for some reason he has all her strings tangled till she's trapped. And then there's her, so sweet, so kind, pitying her in a way that was only ever faked. The hand on her arm makes her jerk, feet sticking in sand and slowly Mindfang lifts her head, eyes showing her obvious confusion at the whole mess she's gotten into.

"I... I think I would rather be dead. Then stuck here, having to be told he's flushed for another..." She bites her lip, blue blood beading up under her fangs. "I let him drive a knife into my heart, all because I knew his rebellion mattered more, and then I find that he's scampered off to be with the single other person I ever really helped."

"But I suppose that is the least I deserve, right? For bending your mind to suit my desires, using you in mine and Dualscar little black games till it ended with you dead. Perhaps I deserve worse, I don't know. I never listened to that Neophyte finish her speech." There's a tremor in her chest she can't stop properly and her eyes search the Dolorosa's looking for... something. Mindfang isn't quite sure.

She did quiet, though it was only so that Mindfang could gather her own faults. The Dolorosa couldn't feel it happening, not like the ceruleanblood might or any other troll granted psychic abilities might, but she was well-versed enough in reading expressions and body language that she could see it. It surprised her that she could, with this troll at least, but there it was.

When her hand wasn't shaken off, she firmed her grip, though kept it gentle still. What was she looking for? Hatred? Spite? The jadeblood had long moved past such things. They were useless here, and would serve no purpose to her or to anyone else. The only thing that resentment was good for was festering until it poisoned everything good that touched it. Even Dualscar, the troll who had killed her, had never drawn her hatred. In a way, she'd pitied him too.

"It is not for me to say what you deserve," she said softly, bringing her free hand up and taking the female's other arm in that same loose hold. Somehow, she wasn't afraid of her anymore. There was nothing to fear, here.. What could be done to her that hadn't already been done?

"But when the past is all there is, when you let it have such a hold on you, what hope can you have for a future? There is a future to be had, here.. and perhaps it is foolishness that I speak of it so, but it can be different. You have only to allow it to be so." The Dolorosa smiled, shook her head. "I can forgive you, Marquise, for the wrongs you inflicted upon me.. but that will mean nothing if you cannot forgive yourself."

She's cracking, wrist trembling as the Dolorosa's grip tightens her own fingers curling uselessly. She should shake her off, or even push her off, for the audacity to put not only one but two hands on her. She should slap her for being such a weak minded caring fool. Maybe that would knock some sense into her, teach her that the world wasn't as kind and forgiving as she was.

But instead she just slumps. Her shoulders sag, her head drops and all she would really like to do is lie down and stop. Just stop. She's even smaller then the other woman now, without all her posturing and ego and she should be spitting in rage. "You were one of my... whatever you want to call it," she murmurs, trailing off. Just saying that is hard enough.

Her eyes close, just so she can try and hide a little longer, Mindfang swaying in the jadeblood's grip as she tries again. "Is there? I... I knew for so many sweeps how my life was going to pan out. I fought it, originally, but in the end... it is very difficult to fight fate. And I didn't want to live alone, after him... isn't that....isn't that what I'll have here? Darkleer can be just as stubborn as me, and as tempting as the idea of killing him is, it won't win me him. It'll turn him away. So... I... I just don't know anymore."

She should, and the Dolorosa expected it, her shoulders and back tense to stand against the push that never came. It wouldn't have been something she would have complained about; she knew the boundaries that she was pushing just by laying her hands on the highblood in this manner.

Slave, she thought, a finish to the incomplete sentence, but she didn't say it. It didn't need saying, they both knew what she had been. Gently, the jadeblood sighed, and with a soft murmur of 'come', she dared draw the smaller troll into her arms. It was not the first time that she had found herself surprised by the situations she got into with those she might have once named her enemies, and yet, given her nature, it was barely surprising at all. All that had been missing before had been the correct opportunity.

One arm wrapped firmly about Mindfang's shoulders to take her weight, the other more loosely held with fingers lightly resting against the back of the pirate's head, stroking lightly over her hair.

"... You are not alone."

Edited 2013-01-31 10:35 (UTC)

She moves stiffly into the embrace, eyebrows knotting in confusion. It's not that she's entirely unfamiliar with them, her time with Summoner did soften her to some extent, but. But. She's still not sure why. It was one thing to hold her in place, keep her from pacing a trench into the sand. But a complete different thing to do this.

It would be so easy, just a lift of her head, Mindfang realises, and then she would easily be able to drive her claw like horn into the Dolorosa's throat. But she doesn't truly consider it, only long enough to wonder why the taller troll doesn't see this too. Why can't she see the threat Mindfang could be to her.

But the hand in her hair is soothing, for now, as long as it doesn't catch on the multitude of knots. And her spiders are behaving, retreating to her coat for now. And it's true, exhaustion is catching up with her, and Dolorosa makes it so easy for her to sag against her, biting her lower lip again.

"Am I not? I feel quite alone, in this ridiculous place. Not even a descendant to consider here. Right now there is you, I suppose, but I assume you'll wise up soon and remember."

Yes, it would be easy, and the Dolorosa was aware of that fact. Despite it, she didn't move her head away. It wasn't that she didn't see the thread that Mindfang posed, it was simply that in her pacing and agitated distress, the fear of a threat had diminished in the face of what this once fearless, ruthless pirate had become. She pitied her, she sincerely wanted to help her, and it surprised her as much as it did the other troll.

"Remember?" she murmured, letting out a little sigh. "Remember that I was your slave? That my mind was little more than a toy for your amusement? That it was your actions that led to my death at Dualscar's hands? I remember all of those things, and it does not change my feelings on this matter."

As she felt Mindfang lean her weight more fully against her, she continued to lightly stroke her hair, mindful of spiders but finding none. "You are only as alone as you force yourself to be."

"Then you're a fool," is all she can think to say, though she does not move. Her mind stays in the past, recalling what it was like to step inside the jadeblood's mind, recalling the faint memories of the Dolorosa's life that she had glimpsed. She had controlled her, touched her in the most intimate of ways and forced her to respond and reciprocate. And while she had mourned her death, it was more the death of a tempting relationship, rather then the troll. It had been her way. And it hadn't started to change until long after her death.

The noise she makes is similar to that of a wounded animal, but so much softer. And she shudders, twisting slighting the the Dolorosa's hold.

"He moved on," she finally spits, shoulders hunched defensively. "I think that is alone enough."

"Only if you resign yourself to the idea that you will never find anyone else."

She kept that patient tone but there was only so much she could do if Mindfang was stuck on that thought, and she knew it. The very fact that she was standing here, allowing herself to be so physical with the ceruleanblood spoke volumes, at least to herself, and she would not have been the first higher-blooded troll to be confused by the level of forgiveness that the rebels could so easily show.

The twisting motion is easily allowed; her hold on the female is loose enough that she might pull away if she wishes. She sighs and shakes her head. "Change is difficult, and frightening, and your heart may hurt for some time, but it will not always be this way. Carrying on as you are, you are only harming yourself."

"I don't want anyone else."

The words spit out, and Mindfang starts to yank herself free. That's what matters, that's the thing people seem to not understand. She's had tens to hundreds of flushed lovers, but in each time she's had some influence, some control to make them follow her own wishes. Even the woman currently clinging to her was one of those, as much as she started to fool her own mind that there was something there, something more then mind control.

But then she had him, felt true pity. He was so pathetic, with his stubborn belief that he could make the system change, that the flicker of his life could actually change it all. It wouldn't work, it never would, even if he could change it, everything would return to the same old ways once he passed. That was how they were, but his hope and his beliefs and the way he lit up on the topic maybe her feel a warmth she never had.

And so she spits again, almost like a feral cat, ignoring the well of tears in her eyes. "he was mine first, I made him what he is and if that traitor, that coward of a troll who couldn't complete his orders and then fled to exile for sweeps thinks he can just come in and take what is rightful mine I will shred his face off with my teeth." Her temper is rising again, Mindfang pulling away from the jadeblood as the urge for violence fills her again.

"Mindfang, stop." Oh, she let her go - she knew better than to try and hold onto her when she was riling herself up like this - but her voice was firm and without a flicker of fear. She may have felt it, deep down as a quiver in her chest but she didn't express it. As this conversation had continued she had been pushing it further and further down, because if the other troll caught wind of her discomfort, it could far too easily be turned against her.

So she let her go, but kept a hold on her shoulders as she looked down at her, a small frown drawing a line down between her eyebrows.

"He is not yours anymore, and you cannot own him. He was no more 'rightfully' yours than I was, and if you continue this, you will lose any chance at any relationship with him at all." She dared, then, to give the smaller troll a light shake. Was it really so hard to understand? Why couldn't she see?

"Do you not see? If you do not let him go you will lose him completely. Is that what you want?"

"No!" She continues to pull away, pushing the hands on her shoulders off. She's even more confused, anger climbing over the slight sense of calm Dolorosa had started to install. She's so confused, angry and hurt and frustrated, head aching from it all.

She stumbles back, boots catching over each other till she falls to her knees in the sand. Tears that she's struggled to keep in all day spill over and yet she doesn't wipe them away, too exhausted to make the effort.

"I want him..." Her voice falters, before she can catch it. "We were happy, he was happy..." It's like talking to a perpetulant child, one who just can't grasp why she's being denied what she wants the most. "He still loves me, so why... why can't we be together?"

She pulls herself in, both to hide her sorry state and to try and ward the jadeblood off, not wanting the touch of yet another who only wants to kick her while she's down. "He helped kill you son, and yet you're defending him for taking him." Lets hope that won't need further explanation because she is really not in the right state.

She let her go, and crouches in front of her, not touching her again. It would be so easy for this one troll to destroy her with a thought, and she knows that she must be careful, and yet she feels somehow that her current emotional state doesn't lend itself well to the control of psychic abilities. Whether that makes her more, or less dangerous.. would remain to be seen.

It was like talking to a youngster, and it had been so long since she had to deal with something like that. She shifted her weight, sat back in the sand, and regarded the other female with an expression that's part saddened patience.

"I know what he did," she said. "And I have forgiven him that, just as I forgave you for your actions." It had been difficult, but she had deemed holding onto old wounds to be a poor use of her time. "But you still speak of Summoner as if he is a thing to be taken, and Darkleer as if he were a thief stealing him away against his will. Hearts change, and you must understand that. Free will is not something to be controlled and subjugated, not if you wish to continue any contact with him at all."

The Dolorosa gets to her feet, looking down at the smaller troll. "He has moved on. I suggest that you do, too. The only one suffering here is you."

She's still talking. Still close to her, enough that if she wanted to she could reach forward, wrap her hands around the jadeblood's throat and choke her into silence. This isn't what she wants to hear, she doesn't want to be reminded that he moved on. That he put a knife deep in her heart but it's now that he's twisting it, by managing to have moved on.

Mindfang uncurls, just enough to see her face, one eye a solid red, the other the usual mix of yellow and blood colour that comes with adulthood. More importantly is the way they both seem to glow with tightly controlled anger. It's taking all her carefully learned control not to simply step into the Dolorosa's mind and tear it apart. That will never win him back.

Finally, she growls. "Leave me. Now." Her eyes continue to glare and she practically shivers with her anger.

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