vatheon | Thanks for loving me 'cause you're doing it perfectly

[Johnny couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, but he did manage to muffle it with the back of his hand.

He leaned forward and kissed Sola's cheek as he reached past him for the wine.]

You're cute. I don't think I've said that recently enough.

Don't worry, I'll get it.

[Damnit Johnny! Cute totally isn't what he's going for here! Romantic is! Sola screws his face into a mild pout and finishes his sandwich making defiantly, though he can't quite escape the blush that creeps across his cheeks.]

M'not trying to be cute. It's supposed to be romantic.

[Really, it's only cuter when he blushes, but Johnny decides not to say it, focusing on pouring his wine instead.]

Don't worry, it is. But that doesn't mean you can't be cute too~

W-well, um...

[Sola peers up at Johnny from under his bangs, trying to gauge whether he should ask.]

Can you be, um, sexy at the same time too?

[No not going to blush just going to look at Johnny and answer his own question because damn Johnny is all those things rolled into one and suddenly the Hylian's mind is full of that day on the couch and lips and tongue and...

Okay yes maybe he's blushing.]

[Johnny was a little surprised by the question, but he shrugged in response, not thinking too much of it.]

Sure. Some people are, anyway.

[Wait...he sees that blush.]

...why?

Well, because... I mean, I just though that we could...

[Just say it! It's what you want, isn't it?

It is, it sorely is, but it's still new and he isn't sure how to go about it. The direct approach doesn't seem right, but maybe...

He leans into Johnny's side, peering up at his face.]

Do you think I am? 'cause... I mean, I think that about you.

[Suddenly the hem of his tunic is very interesting.]

[Johnny looked down at Sola with a bit of confusion. He had a suspicion that he knew what was trying to be said here and he wasn't entirely certain what to think about it. But he also didn't want to assume.]

Where are these questions coming from?

I was just thinking a lot since the last curse, since... you'd never kissed me like that before a-and... well...

[He looks genuinely pleased, if embarrassed.]

I liked it, a lot. I thought you did too. And... well, I ran away but... but I don't want to go hide this time, I want to-

[He swallows, mouth suddenly dry. Not in fear, he tells himself, but more anticipation. He rests a tentative hand on Johnny's.]

I want to keep going. I like that feeling.

[Johnny stayed silent a moment as he moved his hand to curl around Sola's. Well...now he was sure, at least..it didn't make the issue any easier.]

I did like it, I enjoyed it a lot, actually. I certainly wouldn't mind kissing you like that again...but anything more, I just don't think you're ready for that yet.

[Lord knew he wished Sola was, he'd confirmed that much thanks to that curse...but he knew it wasn't time yet.]

Why not?

[His stomach drops and eyebrows furrow, confused and mildly angry. He'd been afraid of this, afraid of Johnny's refusal, and it made him feel all kinds of uncomfortable things.]

If you liked it, then why not? Don't you want me? A-am I not good enough?!

[He wants, he wants to feel Johnny's lips on his again, feel his tongue against his teeth, hands in hair, on skin. He wants those things, he knows he wants them, and so badly it's hard for him to notice the small coil of relief that he's not yet expected to go further. There's that tiny voice, lost in all the confusion and need and unbridled hormones brought on by having a very attractive boyfriend all to himself, that knows said boyfriend is right.

He just can't hear it.]

Edited 2013-01-30 18:50 (UTC)

[He shifted, reaching out to take Sola's face gently in his hands.]

Of course I want you, Sola! I love you, and that's exactly why I'm saying no.

It's a big step and I don't want to make it if you're not ready; I won't do that to you.

[To be honest, he was feeling a hundred things at once with this, himself. He almost never wanted to touch Sola again just for fear of hurting him or tainting that light Johnny loved so much. He wanted to run and protect the hylian from anything Johnny could do to hurt him.

...but there was another part of him that also wanted to give in. He wanted to be intimate with Sola and show him it wasn't something to be scared of, if done right.

But if he messed up...if he did something wrong...that, more than anything, is what stopped him. He never wanted to hurt Sola like Berry had hurt him.]

...can't we just go back to our picnic?

But I am ready! Why do you say I'm not ready!? I'm learning words and other things and I'm trying really hard to be the age I look so why..?

[No! Damnit, he's tearing up and it just makes him angry to show how much it hurts that Johnny's rejecting him. Maybe not outright, but it's still rejection and it's not what he wants and now the whole date is ruined.

He doesn't wait to hear Johnny's answer to his question, shoving the vampire's hands away roughly and pushing himself to his feet.]

I don't want to anymore! Everything's ruined! I-I'm trying really hard and you still don't- W-why am I not-?!

[He's too frustrated, to angry at himself and Johnny, to disappointed to finish any of those thoughts out loud. He can feel his eyes brimming and he hates it. He doesn't want to cry, he doesn't want to show weakness.

Sola turns away and rubs his eyes furiously, that small voice he'd been overlooking quietly saying that maybe this is exactly why he's not ready.]

[Johnny looked away, not really sure what to say or do. He wasn't going to change his mind...but he didn't want to upset Sola either.

After a moment, Johnny stood and wrapped himself around the hylian.]

I'm sorry.

[Sorry for upsetting him and sorry that he wasn't happy with his situation.]

[He almost yells at Johnny not to touch him but he can't get any words out and he knows that's not what he wants anyway. He's lashing out in frustration and anger and the truth is...

...

The truth is he's the one that's ruined the whole evening.

Sola slumps in Johnny's arms, the fight going out of him. No wonder Johnny doesn't think he's ready. He gets angry and cries about everything. He still acts like a child. No one would want that.

His voice is quiet and watery when he finally speaks again.]

I'm so stupid...

[His hold tightens and he kisses Sola's cheek.]

No you're not...you're just learning..

[Maybe he should have been helping more. He hadn't really been doing anything to help at all.]

I want to be ready.

[He turns in Johnny's arms and rests his forehead against his matesprit's chest, trying valiantly to stop the tears that still threaten to roll down his face.]

I don't want you to get bored of me because I can't do all the things you can or because I don't know things.

I just wanted tonight to be perfect so you'd be happy...

[He held Sola a little tighter before pulling away so he could kneel down in front of him and took his hands.]

It was already perfect, Sola. You did something for me no one else has...and this isn't the first time you've done that, either. I really doubt I could ever 'get bored with you.'

[He let go of Sola's hand and reached up to cup his cheek.]

You have the potential to do and know anything and, someday, you will know and do whatever you want.

Then... then what do I do?

[He looks at Johnny helplessly, hand curling reactively around the vampire's fingers.]

I want to be better for you. I want to be a hero, like Jade said. I don't...

...

I don't want you to look at me like I'm a child...

[His gaze softened and he offered a smile.]

Sola, I'm older than most of the people here...in comparison, everyone's a child. The difference is, you're still growing.

[He squeezed Sola's hand and then brought it to his lips.]

And I'll tell you a secret: I know you don't know what it means, but you purify me...you save me...and that makes you my hero.

[His ears droop further at Johnny's admission of everyone being children in his eyes. It's not what he wants to hear, not at all, but the vampire's lips on his hand brings his attention back to the conversation and his eyes grow wide.]

Y-your hero?

[He brought his hand back down to take Sola's other hand and kissed it as well before looking back up at him.]

That's right...you're the knight, the hero, saving the princess this time. And only you could do it, you see, simply by being you.

[Sola's face turns a brilliant shade but he can't quite quell the smile it draws from him. He turns his face aside and puffs his cheeks to hide it.]

You're not a princess.

[Yet still a sense of pride wells up in Sola's chest and he shuffles his feet in shy pleasure.]

U-umm... do you still want to finish our picnic..?

[He smiled and stood, catching Sola's lips in a brief, soft, kiss on his way up.]

Absolutely.

[Tsunning harder than he has in a long time, Sola deposits himself back on the blanket as he attempts to remaster himself, not quite able to shake the fussy mixed expression of pleasure and embarrassment. He goes back to his sandwich pointedly, trying hard to not warrant any more teasing, yet still moving himself to sit right in Johnny's lap when the vampire chooses to sit down again.

He'd already almost messed this up once. He's not going to do it again.

Or... maybe he can't? He'd tried hard enough, though not on purpose, but Johnny's still here, still staying with him and smiling at him and kissing him.

So maybe it's okay for now that he's not exactly who he wants to be just yet, because Johnny's here just the same. He hasn't gone anywhere, despite everything.

Sola leans in just a bit closer, feeling better just for Johnny's presence.]

Thanks for loving me 'cause you're doing it perfectly

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