vatheon | Stuck with each other

[From the way Kratos is eyeing Zelos, it would appear that he's ready to grant Zelos's wish to be unconscious. He lets out a sigh a moment later, rubbing his forehead. He knows that Zelos hates him. He gets angry at the drop of a hat, particularly when it involves Lloyd. He doesn't like Zelos all that much himself, though he does pity him in a way.]

What is it I do that irritates you so much? I would like to avoid doing it.

[Mostly so he doesn't have to listen to Zelos's whining all week.]

[That question strikes Zelos dumb for a long moment. What does he do? What doesn't he do? He let Mithos run rampant on humanity ruining millions of lives including that of his own son, who he abandoned, not to mention the collateral damage. The entire Chosen system ruined everything and Kratos could have stopped it. He didn't have to be born. If it wasn't for that damned church oracle, he wouldn't have been! And the only reason it had happened, because there's no help for Mithos, is because Kratos couldn't get the balls up to stop any of it. And even after he'd made his decision, spirits forbid he manage on his own. No, he had to jerk Zelos around and make him do the dirty work.]

How about ruining lives. Think you can stave off that for a week?

[Contrary to his earlier boisterousness, his tone is low and cold with a biting edge.]

That is hardly specific.

[Part of Kratos knows. Zelos must hate him for the same reasons he hates himself - for all the things he didn't do, for all the things he continues to not do, for being a coward who is terrified of his own emotions.

For being like him.

He hasn't noticed that particular connection before (always focused on the issue of their respective betrayals), and the sudden realization is evident on his face. When he looks over at Zelos with slightly widened eyes, for just a moment, he feels like he can see right through him.]

Don't make that face!

[One hand balls into a fist, the other painfully tight on Kratos' wrist. He knows what that means. The pity, the parallels Zelos hates to have made on his own long ago.]

Don't you dare make that face at me! I am better than you! At least I decided to do something! We're nothing alike, don't even think it!

[He would never abandon family. Not like Kratos. Not like his own father. Never. Even what he did for Cruxis was for Seles, so she'd be comfortable and protected as Chosen. So no, they're nothing alike. Not where it counts.]

[They are the same. He knows it - he's essentially Zelos's future if the man doesn't stop trying to wall himself off. It's not as if Kratos started out doing nothing, he simply lost motivation utterly over the years. When he did finally decide to make a stand, he'd had his heart crushed by the loss of his wife and son. How was he to know that Lloyd lived?

Once he had found out, it still seemed for the best to continue with the journey as it was. He couldn't have known that Lloyd would be the one to change everything. He thought if Colette became the Chosen that Sylvarant would enter a cycle of prosperity again, and that Lloyd could live out his natural life safely. Without him, because he'd certainly never been able to protect the boy.]

Good. Stay that way, Zelos. Don't become me.

[That earns Kratos another stare. It's a curve ball. Certainly he rarely defends himself, but he does tend to retreat, to let Zelos get his shots off and then let it go. They'd been doing that dance for awhile now, ever since Zelos learned Lloyd existed.

And here's Kratos changing the rules.]

I won't!

[He spits the words like an epithet.]

I'm not even around in the future. I won't have enough time to rack up enough dick points to reach your level.

[It's a comfort and a fear, his speculation that while 4,000 years in their future Kratos will still be rearing kids (and still sucking at it if Dhaos is any indication) while Zelos' presence remains unconfirmed.]

[He lets it go, and then he goes off to brood on the matter in private. If he's literally stuck to Tethealla's Chosen, he can't just walk off and let something slide like usual. Vatheon changed the rules, not him. Kratos is not generally a physical person by any means, and being in contact with someone makes him more aggressive than usual.]

Then what is it you are so afraid of? Consider it a cautionary tale, do not let yourself grow so upset over the matter. If you are going to be angry with me, then let it be for things I have done and not your own fears.

[If only they could get back home, Kratos would put as much distance between himself and everyone else as he could manage. He'd never hurt any of them again. He doesn't have a choice here though, and he's actually growing tired of the glares of condemnation Zelos shoots him whenever they happen to pass each other.]

Edited 2012-12-13 07:21 (UTC)

Things you've done, huh? Like sending Colette to die? Like helping set up the whole Chosen system in the first place? Like abandoning your son?

[His tone is cold, derisive. Before he'd been acting like a caged animal, now it seems he's not just trapped with Kratos.

Kratos is trapped with him.]

...abandoned him? Is that what you think of it?

[They are trapped together, and he doesn't think he can take a week of hearing Zelos deride him for something he didn't do intentionally.]

I left Cruxis for him, and for Anna. When they caught us they slaughtered her, sent her over the side of a cliff. Lloyd fell as well. I still don't know how he survived, but when I reached the bottom he was gone. There was nothing but blood and mangled bodies and...

[His voice cracks just remembering it.]

...one of his shoes. I thought they were both gone.

[The Seraph's glare is accusatory. Zelos gave up when he was only a child, he wanted a world without emotions even when he knew his sister was still alive. How dare he judge Kratos for that much? Yes, he had made a mistake, he should have looked for Lloyd for longer. He thought all this time that Zelos hated him for his cold demeanor towards Lloyd, for hurting him once he reappeared in his life.

This was like doubting that he'd ever loved his son to begin with.]

Oh yeah, saddest story ever told, but you show up again and he's alive and yet the way I heard it you delivered him right up to Mithos along with Colette before they managed to run off to Tethe'alla. Then you turn around and start "helping".

[He physically does the air quotes with one hand.]

Of course, that means jerking him around even more, not to mention sticking me in the whole mess to do your dirty work, all so you could make him kill you. And after he refuses and finds another way? You fly off into goddessdamn space. So yes, you abandoned him!

[With an exasperated, disgusted noise Zelos throws his free hand up.]

But I guess that's what fathers are good for!

That is not what happened. I attempted to take Colette to the Tower alone. If she became the Chosen, Sylvarant would have prospered and Lloyd would have been safe. He behaved rather unpredictably, as you know. I am not the only one Lloyd would not kill.

[Was what Zelos did any different? He wanted to make his sister the Chosen to ensure her safety, even if he didn't agree with the system. He didn't plan to be in her life after that. He wanted to die. He played both sides to achieve the outcome he wanted, just like Kratos did. They were the same in so many ways, so why did Zelos...

Ah.

The anger fades from his face as quickly as it showed up. Had this been about his father the whole time?]

I only did that to get the Aionis! Which you told me to get, by the way! I didn't make him fight me.

[It's odd to defend himself when he knows Kratos is right. He was going to. If it hadn't been for his talk with Lloyd at Flanoir, he probably would have, but Kratos doesn't know how he agonized over it, who to throw his lot in with. He'd made the right choice, but it had just been a roll of the dice. It could have easily turned out differently...

In some timeline it did. He thinks back to that weird dreaming castle, where another Lloyd had hit him and embraced him and cried about the fact that he'd died.

But he didn't do it. He couldn't do it, and that made him better than Kratos. He hangs onto that fact like a lifeline and opens his mouth to defend himself again when he catches sight of Kratos' even face. He'd been snapping just a moment ago. What had changed?]

What?

[Now that he understands (or thinks he understands) where Zelos' anger comes from, it's difficult to remain angry with him. He's nothing more than a crying child, insisting he hates his father and everything having to do with fathers in general simply because his rejected him.

That was when Zelos started behaving towards him in a particularly hostile fashion, wasn't it? When he found out that Kratos was a father.]

It doesn't matter anymore. Do as you please.

[Whatnow? Zelos' tone is acid.]

A second ago it mattered a hell of a lot. What is your deal!?

[It doesn't matter because if that is the case, there's absolutely no way they'll be able to come to terms in a week. Talking about it is likely to make Zelos even more riled up, and he doesn't want that.

Still, he should at least confirm it.]

I may be a father and a coward, but do you think every father is that way?

[Is that all they're good for in his mind? Is that really what this is about?]

I guess Dirk's pretty okay, but he chose to take care of Lloyd. The rest are pretty much rubbish. You, mine, Colette's sent her to die, even the Pope sent his daughter to be exiled to a basement and the king couldn't tell his had been kidnapped!

[He stops for a moment and scowls thunderously at Kratos, wishing with every fiber that he could pull his hand away and end this conversation.]

Why the hell am I talking to you about this.

Edited 2012-12-27 05:17 (UTC)

Because it is related, is it not? Part of your hatred for me is because I am a father. It does not matter how hard I work to be a proper father at this point, the word "father" alone is enough to raise your ire.

[It's really all very simple.]

We will not be able to reconcile if that is how you look at it, so this conversation no longer matters.

I don't care about you reconciling with me. I'd just as soon never see you again.

[There's less bite in his quip; it comes out more as a statement of fact, something they both knew already. He licks his lips, an old nervous habit he hasn't displayed since he was small.]

I just don't want Lloyd turning out like you. Or me for that matter, because of you.

[A small grit of his teeth.]

But for whatever crazy reason, he wants you in his life somehow and as far as I'm concerned that should be the only thing concerning you.

[It's difficult to say this. Somehow, it's like speaking to his own father when he's finally too tired to shout.]

I can't stand parents who don't show they care about their kids. Lloyd especially deserves better.

[Maybe I deserved better...

...what a joke.

He drops both hands to his sides, not realizing in his introspection that he's gotten free.]

Just do me- do Lloyd a favor and if we get out of here with our memories intact, you better stick around as long as he wants you to.

Who will look after the angels? Yuan at least should be able to stay with Martel. It is a task that only I can complete.

[Oh, Anna. Why couldn't Anna show up here? She would tell him what to do, she would set everything straight and Lloyd would have a proper parent.]

I do not want to leave Lloyd. Especially not now, when we are becoming... friends. But there is no choice. Most half-elves that became Angels did not even know what was happening to them. They would be helpless. Lost, without any cause, ripe and ready to be slaughtered.... or to do the slaughtering.

I'll do it.

[The words are out of his mouth before he knows he's thought them, bypassing his brain entirely.]

You've got something to stay for, so I'll do it. I know what's like to be an angel, and I'm no slouch with the fighting.

[His brain catches up with his mouth and gives him a withering feeling. Had he just said that...? He doesn't want that at all, much less for Kratos' sake, but it's out there now. He can't take it back.]

...you have things to stay for as well, Zelos. Your sister, your friends... you are still within your natural lifetime. Aselia needs you still. If Colette is the only Chosen left behind, she will be overwhelmed.

[He closes his eyes.]

Lloyd has become a fine man without me. He has you, and Dirk, and everyone else. It is time for me to stop running. The existence of those angels is on my shoulders. Though the way Dhaos acts suggests a tragic ending, if we do leave here with our memories, I plan on preventing that. I won't allow them to go to war.

[Then he opens them, looking at Zelos.]

You must do the same for Aselia. If we leave with what we know now, Lloyd will be an angel as well. He will live long enough to prevent what may happen. Help him. And...

[He glances off again.]

Perhaps, in a thousand years or so, when the world has forgotten Cruxis, if they have learned to feel... I will bring the angels back.

Edited 2012-12-27 17:52 (UTC)

[He has a point. He always has a point. Why does he have to be right all the time?! That jerk!

...Though... honestly, if he thinks about it logically, it's better that way. He can't let Colette take on all the politics surrounding the Chosen position alone, nor does he really want to leave when he finally was starting to feel like he's worth something other than a pretty face.

Zelos looks at his hands for a moment, the shoves them in his pockets. Perhaps they'll each protect the world in their own ways. Not that he's about to turn this into a feelings jam of any sort.]

Guess it wasn't for the whole week. I'll talk to Zelda about the crest, you go do... whatever it is you do these days.

[There's not much bite left; his tone still holds venom, but it's impotent, more out of habit than actual fury and bluster.]

[He doesn't have to be told twice. Once they've separated, Kratos heads for the window almost immediately after Zelos tells him to do as he pleases. As usual, he doesn't say another world.

But for once, he looks back before he leaves. It lasts only a brief moment, and then he's gone.]

Stuck with each other

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