vatheon | 21st Combo

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21st Combo

Who: Lloyd Irving and Kratos Aurion
Where: Yutopil Apartments, Lloyd's room
When: Tuesday night
Style: Either!
Status: Closed

[Lloyd hadn't been around the last time the fairies had been in Vatheon, so while the little glowing creature was novel, he had no previous experiences to compare its current appearance or behavior to. Its light looked a little wan to him, but maybe that was natural? It was a little disconcerting, having something following him, but he got used to it after a while.

At least until night fell. Watching it fall and melt on the floor would have been alarming in and of itself, but he wasn't given long to dwell on that before the effects of the curse hit hard.

The first night had been miserable. As miserable as it had been, though, the second night is worse. With the fairy's "death," he knows what he's about to see and hear. It's all he can do not to sob as he buries himself under the covers.

It's not real. It's not real.

He tries to keep chanting the words over and over in his head, but above him, a faceless man hovers and smiles, a surgical knife in hand. Smiles and leans over to whisper in Lloyd's ear. A whisper that's almost a purr.

How can you say it's not real? How can you say you're not really a monster when you won't even look at your hands?]

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[Kratos had thought nothing of the fairy the first night. His didn't transform into anything, after all. While he did not enjoy being followed, he's well aware of the fact that he's being watched in Vatheon at all times as it is. It was of little consequence.

It was the second day that he began to grow concerned. Posts started going up on the network the night before, showing people cringing and cowering at invisible opponents. Was this the curse? If so, he had to be certain that Lloyd was alright. He's aware that he's being a little overprotective as he listens at Lloyd's window, but with what had happened to Lloyd not so long ago... well, it seems like he should check in.

And then he hears Lloyd's breathing. The room is dark save for a small, soft light, he should be trying to sleep - instead, it sounds as if he's about to cry. He doesn't want to knock and alert Angelo to Lloyd's state, but he doesn't want to just break in yet either. Kratos tries his best to see inside.]

[All Kratos will be able to see is the form of someone huddled under the sheets, but from weeks of traveling with his son, that alone should be clue enough. Lloyd doesn't curl up under bed covers, certainly not with his head under the blanket, too. He sprawls, sometimes kicking the covers half off.

And he doesn't flinch at apparently nothing. Even masked by blankets, there's no mistaking that movement, a sharp, shuddering motions as Lloyd's shoulders heave. There's nothing there, though. Just Lloyd and the light.

And a man holding a knife so close to Lloyd's hand he can almost feel it slicing into his skin. He jerks his hand back, even though he knows it's not real.]

G-go away!

[The sight of a man at Lloyd's bedside holding a knife is enough to spur him into action. He forces the window open, flying into the room and attempting to attack the vision...

But nothing happens. It's not real.

Is this what was going on over the network? People were having visions that couldn't be captured electronically? Kratos puts himself between Lloyd and the faceless man, squeezing the boy's shoulders firmly.]

Lloyd. It isn't real.

[Lloyd jolts upright when the window flies open, a sound far too real to ignore and someone's there! Someone's there and there's a hand gripping his shoulder and panic grips his heart with rising terror and that wasn't his imagination, someone was really there!]

No!

[He lifts an arm to beat the hand back.

A mistake.

A mistake because now he can see his claws.

Claws which Kratos can see now, too.]

[He draws in a sharp breath at the sight of Lloyd's claws and very nearly gives way to panic. First it was the hands, then the rest of the body would twist and contort and -

No. No.

He forces himself to analyze the situation. Lloyd's mana isn't going out of control, he can feel that much. This is just another part of the illusion. It has to be, he refuses to accept the alternative. Though he's shaking slightly, Kratos drags his hands down Lloyd's arms to grasp where his true hands must be. Where they have to be.]

It's not real.

[His own voice is surprisingly small.]

[Lloyd tenses - hands grabbing him, being held down, being trapped, and the faceless man is right there with a knife- Terror wells up at the memories brought to life, and he nearly lashes out again.

Nearly, but for the fact that his hands are being held, and those hands...

Those hands.

"Do you see, Lloyd?"

The hands holding his were larger, wrapping around his fingers. Those hands had wrapped around his once before.

"Your hands are still smaller than mine."

Lloyd chokes back a sob and curls his fingers, to make his hands smaller somehow.

"These are not the hands of a monster."]

Dad...

[The faceless man smiles, mocking the reassurance.]

"Don't you mean it's not real yet?"

[Kratos hadn't wanted to tell Lloyd about the Rune Crest, just in case it didn't work - or in case he has to provide the mana fragment himself, knowing that the boy would reject it. He refutes the illusion immediately, squeezing Lloyd's hands. They're still Lloyd's hands, not those of a monster.]

It will not happen. We are working on a Rune Crest for you. Zelos, myself... even Mithos is aiding us. You will not become a monster, I won't allow it.

[It's easier if he closes his eyes and just focuses on what he can feel. He can feel his hands enveloped by his father's, feel the pressure as Kratos squeezes them tight. He can't feel his claws digging into Kratos's skin, even though he should be with their hands like this. It's easier.

But he's still scared, flinching when his nightmare mocks him. His breath hitches, and without thinking, he leans forward to press his face into chest, trapping their hands between them.]

What if you can't? What if my Exsphere's too different? What if you don't have what it needs to make a Crest that'll work with it?

[He swallows hard. Zelos had left a mana fragment behind, but it wasn't enough. He would probably have to...]

We have what we need. I need to do a little work on one of the pieces, but it should only take a few days. I will do it after this curse.

[He can't leave Lloyd alone. Not right now. Still holding on with one hand, he uses his other arm to draw the boy's head to his chest.]

But we don't... we don't have a dwarf who can make it. What if I'm not good enough? What if Dhaos can't?

[It helps, just a little, being held like this. He buries his face a little bit more, so close he can feel Kratos's heart. The strong beat is steady and soothing, easy to focus on. It makes it easier to let his fears spill out - and somehow, the faceless man's voice doesn't seem quite so loud.]

"Even if you do make it, what's to keep me from prying it right back off your hand~?"

The inhibitor ore has already been processed, we can manage the rest on our own. Essentially, we just need to reinforce the crest you already have.

[He looks over his shoulder at the specter and smirks.]

I do believe the lack of functioning hands would stop you.

[Yes, he knows Lloyd will get angry at hearing confirmation that that is why Kratos broke the man's hands, but anger is better than fear.]

Where did you get...?

[The question is only halfway off his tongue before he bristles at the rest. It's enough to make him push away from Kratos and glare up at the man.]

That's why you broke his hands? Don't you even feel bad for what you did to him?!

I do not. It was an effective way to ensure he didn't hurt you or anyone else again.

[He feels a little remorse knowing that Lloyd likely feels guilty by proxy, but it's negligible. There's never been any question in Kratos's mind that he did the right thing.]

[If Kratos is still holding Lloyd's hand, the teen breaks the hold then and there, roughly jerking his hand away.]

You broke his hand for something you didn't even know would happen! He has to live with that for the rest of his life!

[Good. He's angry, now. He's not even paying any attention to the illusion of the man who hurt him.]

It is not for life. If he proves his stability, he can be healed.

[The completely careless tone of voice is intentional.]

[Lloyd's shoulders stiffen, and what fear didn't do this time, anger surely does, mana starting to rise until it's almost palpable in the air. His hands clench into fists at his side.]

So once he proves he's okay, you'll just hurt him again?! That's what it would take to fix his hands, isn't it?! That means he's suffering twice for something he didn't do! How's he even supposed to prove that anyway? It's not like we can see his soul!

[Dammit. He wanted to shake Lloyd out of his fear, not cause him to become unstable again. He has to reinforce that mana fragment, he has to... but he can't leave Lloyd this week.]

It will not hurt him. The doctors here are capable of anesthetizing their patients, and the healing will be almost instantaneous.

[The suggestion only mollifies Lloyd a little bit, but at least it's enough that his mana settles where it is - still high, but not teetering on the edge of being unstable.]

So why can't we do that now? I talked to him and he's okay. He's Riff right now.

[If he doesn't remind Lloyd that other people were hurt by Riffael, he's just going to turn this into a cause.]

For now. What do you think he would see with this curse, Lloyd? Or the next one? I am sorry, but until he has stabilized, I cannot allow him to be healed. You were not the only one hurt or killed by him, so do not take this so personally.

[The words die on Lloyd's tongue when Kratos asks that first question. What would Riff be seeing right now? What would it do to him? And the reminder that other people were hurt, were killed...

Lloyd goes quiet. It's hard to reconcile his ideals with this situation, hard to reconcile how he even feels. But he knows that something's wrong with it. He can't stay quiet for long.]

I know he hurt people. I know it would be dangerous if Riffael came back. It just doesn't seem fair that it's Riff who's having to suffer for it. How do we even know when he's stable? Does he have to keep his hands broken forever because we won't ever be able to tell?

I do not possess any psychic abilities, but I am certain someone here in Vatheon does. We need to find them. Until then, this is the safest solution for everyone.

[He wants to find someone with those abilities, just so they can be sure that "Riffael" even exists - and if he does, maybe that psychic can crush him.]

[It... probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell Lloyd about that last little bit of intent. While he's all for isolating Riffael, even punishing him, he's this close to thinking of Riffael as another soul, and considering how he feels about life...

Lloyd pauses at Kratos's choice of words, though. We...?]

You're... going to help look for a psychic?

If the Defense Force will allow it, yes. Breaking his hands was only a stopgap measure.

[A necessary one, perhaps, but Kratos recognizes that it can't be permanent. Not with all these bleeding hearts around.]

[Yeah, Lloyd's still shooting him a dirty look about that. He opens his mouth, most likely armed with a sharp response. Kratos makes it so easy to get angry with him.

But even anger can't distract him when his fear transforms, and an Exbelua in a tattered red jacket smashes a fist into Zelos's chest. Lloyd's breath catches when shards of crystal scatter everywhere. With a cry, he lurches forward.]

Zelos!

Lloyd...

[Kratos places a hand on him again, this time on the back of his neck. It seems that only contact with Lloyd can convince him that he hasn't turned into a monster, even if it feels strange to try and offer comfort when Lloyd's obviously upset with him.]

It is not happening. Zelos is not here.

[With his mind and senses addled by the curse's effects, Lloyd needs that kind of contact to get through what it is he's seeing. Even if it's from Kratos when he's mad at him, he'll take whatever distraction and comfort he can get. He can't stand the thought that this might be real. Hands clenching into fists, he screws his eyes shut, trying to focus on the feel of that hand, on just trying to get his breath back.]

Kratos, I can't...

[It's far more physical than the seraph is typically willing to be, but he carefully scoops Lloyd up and moves him onto his lap.]

It is not real. I saw some posts on the network mentioning that the visions dissipate somewhat if you speak of them. What is it you are afraid of?

[The whole scene is painfully nostalgic, even if Lloyd is so much bigger now. There's so many years between the last time he held Lloyd like this and now, so much pain and confusion...]

[Lloyd stiffens, not used to being held like this, and not expecting anything like it from Kratos of all people. But when he opens his eyes, caught off guard, Zelos is still there, still dead, and the monster is reaching for someone else, a flash of blond hair-

Lloyd flinches and buries his face in Kratos's chest before he can see anything else. He doesn't want to see Colette-

He cuts the thought off.]

I'm afraid...

[His voice is thick and muffled.]

I'm afraid of hurting my friends.

[The hold is mostly to remind Lloyd that he's still human. If Kratos can encompass him entirely, if Lloyd can feel that, then there's simply no way he could have transformed into a monster.]

You would not. You are like your mother. Even once she transformed, she retained herself for long enough to make sure she did not harm you. You witnessed something like that with the old woman from the Iselia ranch as well, didn't you? She gained control of herself again.

Marble still attacked us, though. We had to fight her first. She didn't get herself back right away. If we hadn't been strong enough...

[He shudders, and for that moment he doesn't mind Kratos's arms around him, their warm pressure providing a reassurance he can't find in any words.]

What if it's like that for me? What if I lose myself and I don't get myself back until it's too late? I'm stronger than Marble. What if...?

Then I will be there. I won't let you harm anyone.

[It's because he loves Lloyd that he would be able to strike him down if that happened. He knows that Lloyd would never forgive himself if he hurt or killed a friend, and he doesn't want Lloyd to feel the sort of guilt that he himself feels.]

[Lloyd doesn't know if what Kratos said is true, that talking about what's scaring him helps it not terrify him so much, or if it's simply that promise coming from his father, from a man Lloyd knows will do whatever he deems necessary, regardless of what it costs. But it helps. It helps, and even though he's crying now, the fear isn't quite as strong, as close, the monster a little less real. He makes no move to pull away.]

...you promise?

I promise.

[Kratos moves his hand up to cradle the back of Lloyd's head. It's meant to comfort, but it's also to keep Lloyd from seeing the expression on his face when he makes that promise. If he ever has to kill Lloyd like he killed Anna, he's not sure how he'll keep going.]

[Lloyd wasn't necessarily thinking of the exact consequences of what he was asking Kratos to do. Perhaps he wasn't thinking things through, or perhaps it was simple, child-like faith that Kratos could make him stop without any drastic measures. Maybe it was his idealism finally reviving a little bit, promising that there should be a way for the best to be possible. At that moment, though, it didn't matter. For the moment, he was safe. Kratos had promised. Kratos was there. Unwilling to relinquish the comfort and reassurance of his father's arms, Lloyd curls a little closer. And he'll stay like that until stress takes its toll, draining him of energy.]

...thanks... dad...

Edited 2012-11-22 05:09 (UTC)

[Surprisingly, Kratos stays too. He makes no attempt to move the entire night. Usually he draws back as soon as the crisis is over, but this time... he chooses to stay. Having just thought something so morbid, it's too difficult for him to bring himself to leave.]

...I will come tomorrow, as well.

[Lloyd doesn't verbally respond to that, but he nods, his hand tightening around a fistful of Kratos's shirt. He doesn't want to talk anymore, trying so hard not to think too much. He closes his eyes, making it easier to ignore the monster. And he's glad, so glad that Kratos is there.

At some point, after minutes or hours have passed them by, Lloyd's hand slowly loosens, and there's peace on his face as he finally drifts off to sleep.]

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21st Combo

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