Blame it on Patron, Got You in the Zone

[oceanbreasts]

Who: Roxy and Dirk
Where: Their home
When: A few days after being back in their own bodies
Style: Action
Status: Closed

[ It was time.

They had a few things to celebrate, now. They were back in their own bodies, for starters. No more being a dude was always something that was worth being exuberant over. And there was the drinking to forget the whole cannibalism thing, too, which she had already been well on her way to doing.

Plus, she had spent the week stone cold sober. That sucked.

Oh, and her daughtermom was here! That was pretty bitchin', too.

So she leaned into Dirk's room without warning, shaking a bottle of vodka at him. ]

Hey Diiiiiiirkyyyyyyyyy~.

Comments

[shippingmath]

[And Dirk, of course, is in his room busy with a few projects. There are pieces of a robot strewn around beside him, and his SFC is on the corner of his desk, though what's apparently taking up most of his attention at the moment is the half-sewn smuppet he's currently piecing together.

He sets it aside when she leans in, raising an eyebrow at the bottle of Vodka.]

So. We're finally going through with these conditions of release. Will the hostages be returned without harm at the end of this exchange?

[oceanbreasts]

It's high time you 'n me get fuckin' drunk as hell, DS. And I promise that the shades are safe and sound. No harm has befallen the precious babes. In fact, they were safer than anyone or anythin' has ever been.

Meet me in the kitchen when you're ready.

[ She just shakes the bottle again before ducking back out of his room to head off to the kitchen and start pulling down glasses. ]

[shippingmath]

It's always high time for your to get drunk as hell.

[He seems to ignore the rest of what she says in favor of turning back to the smuppet, but not long after Roxy heads to the kitchen, he appears, hands shoved casually in his pockets.]

So how do you want to do this?

[oceanbreasts]

Well the way I figure it, we can jus' go 'head 'n pop the top on this baby--

[ Which she promptly does, chucking the cap over her shoulder at the garbage. ]

--'n start drinkin'.

[ She pours some of the vodka over ice and grins. ]

Or I can make ya a nice little frilly drink to dull the taste a bit. No less alcohol, tons more flavor.

[shippingmath]

Orange soda.

[He'd probably still drink it even if she turned it pink and put a lacy umbrella in it, but orange soda makes everything better. In fact, he'll just be grabbing one of the bottles out of the cabinet and tossing it over to her.]

[oceanbreasts]

Natch.

[ She grins and snatches the bottle out of the air before filling the glass up halfway with the stuff and then promptly filling it the rest of the way with vodka. ]

Bottom's up, Strider.

[ She'll just go ahead and grab her glass and drink it up straight. ]

[shippingmath]

[Roxy can have fun with that. She's been drinking like that for years, after all. In the meantime, Dirk's going to grab his glass and take a sip...

bluh!!!

Okay, it's not that bad. But he's actually kind of making a face at the taste. There's only so much orange soda can do.]

Remind me why you drink this all the time?

[oceanbreasts]

[ Wow that was adorable. Make that face again. ]

Dunno how many times I gotta tell ya, but bein' sober sucks fuckin' balls. Big sweaty hairy ones that've been tucked under a dude's ass while he sits in a sauna. That bad.

[ She frowns a little at her glass before filling it back up again. ]

Hence, drinkin'.

[shippingmath]

[No, he's going to master the art of linefacing while drinking. Either that or he'll kill off enough taste buds that it won't matter.]

Thank you for that wonderful summary of my life up until this point, Roxy. I think I should remind you that there was no alcohol in my apartment.

[oceanbreasts]

But if there was you'd prob'ly be just as drunk as me almost always. Trust me.

[ She eyes his glass speculatively for a second before tapping the bottom of it. ]

C'mon, you're not gettin' drunk fast enough. The quicker your inhibitions get the fuck outta here, the quicker the shades are back in their rightful place once more.

[shippingmath]

As the lady wishes.

[And, with only a moment of hesitation, he dutifully drinks down the whole glass.]

Oh, hey, there's that face again. But he's still not going to do anything ridiculous like spit it out.

[oceanbreasts]

[ Yes best face.

Roxy promptly reaches across the counter to pat him on the shoulder, grinning, even as her other hand starts to pour him another one. ]

There's a good boy. Keep up the pace. We could play a drinkin' game if y'want.

Let's just. Ignore my fail in that previous tag.

[shippingmath]

[Stop grinning at his disgust, Roxy.]

What kind of drinking game would that be?

already was :D

[oceanbreasts]

I'd say somethin' like never have I ever but let's face it we're both actually boring as fuck. And know each other well.

[ She'd start out with never have I ever severed my head off my own body. ]

Though that'd be one fuckin' fast track to Drunksville.

You lovely person

[shippingmath]

[Wow okay then he'd start with never have I ever not kissed a corpse to life. So there.]

And here I thought that was the point. Silly me.

[oceanbreasts]

Thought I'd ease your liver into it. Alright.

[ And then she turns back toward the cupboard, pulling down shot glasses instead, and fills them up. ]

Never have I ever decapitated myself.

[ 8D ]

[shippingmath]

If you were easing my liver into it, you wouldn't have asked me to get drunk with you.

[Her first part of the game gets a very unimpressed stare from him, though.]

And this is the thanks it gets me.

[Okay, fine, give him the shot glass. He'll drink it and not even make a face this time. He's learning!]

Never have I ever not kissed a dead person.

[oceanbreasts]

'm sorry that some of us just aren't okay with kissin' dead bodies.

[ She knocks her drink back and promptly pours the both of them another shot. ]

By the way, still totes unfair that I was dead for our smooch. Just sayin'.

[ Aw yeah. At the pace they're going, they should be pretty much smashed within the half hour. ]

Never have I ever built a robot.

[shippingmath]

Well, you know I master everything I try.

[That is a lie. He doesn't win at videogames.]

Never have I ever cloned a cat.

[oceanbreasts]

[ Those are pure Roxy territory.

The glass gets empty and subsequently refilled, as does his, and she stares at him hard for a few moments. ]

Never have I ever consumed orange soda for months on end.

[shippingmath]

[He's going to keep from drinking for a moment. There are technicalities to be argued here!]

Well, if you want to be technical about it, neither have I.

[oceanbreasts]

I didn't say nothin' about it being the only thing you drank, you technical asshole.

[shippingmath]

It's also physically impossible to drink for a month without stopping. You'd suffocate.

[oceanbreasts]

Also not what I fuckin' said. Technically. Since ya like th' word so much.

[shippingmath]

It seems like you're trying to imitate me. Are you trying to imitate me, Roxy?

[But still, he'll take his drink anyway. Look, he's being a good sport and everything.]

Never have I ever blown up Jane's computer.