vatheon | 15th Combo

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15th Combo

Who: Lloyd Irving and Luke fon Fabre
Where: Yutopil Apartments
When: After this
Style: [action]
Status: Closed

[Lloyd had been fuming ever since the rude brush-off from the guy he was pretty sure was Luke's twin. Sheesh, how much of a jerk could one person be? Even by the time he makes it back to the Yutopil Apartments, he still hasn't cooled off completely. He'd been intending to go to his room, where he could take out his frustrations with a knife and an innocent block of wood, but his footsteps slow when he passes room five.

Room five was Luke's apartment.

Well, sure, why not? He'd told that guy he would ask.

Lloyd takes a breath then lets it back out, trying to will some of his irritation to go with it. It's not Luke's fault his brother is a jerk, he doesn't need to have Lloyd take it out on him. Once he feels ready, he lifts his hand and knocks.]

Hey, Luke? Are you there?

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[Luke had just returned from seeing Asch, something that made him want to hide away and never come out again. The guilt never left, nor did that feeling of inadequacy. Now that Asch was here, what right did Luke have to be here? Maybe he could help him, let him find an apartment that's bigger and better, show him around -

It's about then that he hears the knock on the door and the request for just him. It's surprising, seeing how not many people visit him. But he snaps out of that quickly enough, and he heads over to unlock the door.]

Yeah, I'm here, one second - [And with that, he opens the door, then takes a step back once he sees it's who he thinks it is.] Hey, Lloyd. ... What's going on? [Lloyd might be trying to hide it, but it's pretty easy to see that he's irritated about something.]

Hey...

[...is he really that obvious? Lloyd rubs the back of his neck, frowning. He doesn't even know where to begin.]

Can I come in?

[Bothered by the encounter with Asch or not, Lloyd figures Luke probably won't want to talk about this out in the hall.]

Oh, yeah, sure...

[Luke backs away and opens the door a little further, gesturing to the couch in the middle of the room if he wants to sit.]

Are you hungry or anything? I can... make alfredo?

Um... If you want to, I guess.

[He didn't come here for food, but he won't turn it down, either, if that was what Luke wanted. He shifts from one foot to the other for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. Finally, he decides to just come out with it.]

I met your brother today.

[Luke was just about to head to the kitchen when Lloyd asked that question. It makes him pause, then frown before looking back at Lloyd.]

Brother? But I don't have a...

[... Oh. Oh, that's... that's what he meant. Briefly, Luke presses his lips together and looks down at the floor. At least Asch didn't go around saying Luke was a replica, though he himself might as well have just said that, huh? Dammit...]

Oh, you... mean Asch, right?

I guess so. He wouldn't tell me his name.

[Lloyd huffs out a breath, letting his irritation show.]

He was kind of a jerk. He wouldn't say anything to me after I told him I know you. He just said I had to ask you.

He said that?

[Luke lets out a sigh of his own, but it's shaky compared to Lloyd's. Now he feels put on the spot, though he knows it isn't Lloyd's fault. No, Asch is the one who wants him to explain things. Things Luke had wanted to keep under wraps for so long...]

He's a jerk to me, too. And he's... he's not my brother.

[Lloyd blinks, surprised. Asch had said that, too, but Lloyd hadn't believed him at the time. Hearing it come from Luke, too, though...]

He's not? But you look like you could be twins! I thought he was you, just with longer hair.

[...

Wait. Vatheon can pull people from different points in time. That means Asch wouldn't have to be Luke's brother in order to look like him. He could also be... Lloyd hesitates.]

He's... he's not your son or father, is he?

[That certainly was a guess Luke expected coming, and it makes him jerk his head up with wide, surprised eyes.]

No! He's... He's not related to me or anything! At least, not like... any of that.

[He looks away now , trying to find some kind of support. He eventually finds it by going to the couch and clenching his fingers into the top of the cushions; it's easier like this. It's easier to have something to hold on to and not look at Lloyd and just do his best to forget that he's there.]

Have you... ever heard of replicas?

[Okay, now Lloyd's just baffled. He nearly opens his mouth to say that there's no way that Asch isn't related somehow. He looks too much like Luke for it to be a coincidence. But he stops when Luke asks his question.]

Replicas?

[What does this have to do with Asch?]

Isn't that a copy that someone made of something?

[Where is Luke going with this?]

Yeah.

[There's another pause as he battles against himself. He could leave it at that, let Lloyd figure it out, or not, as Luke would prefer. Or he could tell him, and then be judged because he's just a copy.]

On Auldrant, it's... It's possible to - to make someone made out of someone else, too.

[That could be a big enough hint. Luke could leave. Not have to deal with the shocked and horrified and disgusted face Lloyd would give him.

But it seems cowardly. And unfair. And Luke's tired of being a coward.]

I'm... [He shuts his eyes.] I'm a replica made from Asch. That's why he... why I look like him.

You can... copy someone else?

[Lloyd echoes the words blankly, like the words don't make sense at first. How can they? How could someone make a copy of a person? It's not like people are made of wood or stone, or something that's easy to carve. They're made of something living. That can't be replicated.

But beyond that...

Lloyd frowns. Then he shakes his head. And instead of horror or disgust...]

I don't believe it. You're not a copy of him.

[Luke opens his eyes at that, and he turns to Lloyd with something like frustration and desperation. He's denying it? But it's true! He got shown the ugly truth just a little while ago, to deny it now - ]

But I am! I-It's why I don't remember my childhood - I never had one! They made me just to replace Asch and... [He cringes there, clenches his fists and looks down at the floor.

"You've finally proven useful, replica."]

And be thrown away to die in his place.

[Lloyd bristles, that last remark striking a nerve. Luke was made to be sacrificed?]

No! You're not the same as Asch, even if you look like him. Copies are supposed to be just like the original, right? [He slashes a hand through the air vehemently.] Well, you're not a copy of him! You don't even act anything like him at all!

[His voice takes on a tone that absolutely refuses to back down on this.]

Besides, it doesn't matter how you were born, you're you and you're alive and that gives you every right to exist! You shouldn't be a sacrifice!

[That just hits all the wrong buttons with him.]

Edited 2012-09-03 03:57 (UTC)

[This... was entirely unexpected to Luke. Lloyd being angry? Sure, that might have been a thing. But at Luke's circumstances rather than Luke himself? That isn't something he was preparing for, not when he just came from his friends abandoning him. Of course, that was for another reason, but still.

And he's saying the has the right to exist. Even when he was - when he thought he was normal, who ever said that to him? No one, not even his master.

It's painful, really, considering how backwards his own thoughts are. It's why Luke keeps his gaze away and even flinches at the word "sacrifice".]

Then why else was I born?! [When he looks up, he makes that same motion of slashing his hand through the air, but with a closed, shaking fist.] Master Van needed Asch! So - So why not let the stupid, useless replica die instead, no one would care! He planned to do that since... since before I was even...

Why does there have to be a why? Why should it matter if there is? Does it matter why anyone else was born? Even if there is a reason, you're still the one who has to decide who you are and how you'll live. If you don't like the reason you exist, then exist for another reason! No one can say you have to be what they want you to be.

[He closes the distance between himself and Luke, putting a hand on the other's shoulder. He hates seeing the redhead look away like that, as though somehow he feels like he can't meet Lloyd's eyes, like he's not worthy.]

You're not useless. Maybe you're not doing what other people want you to do, but that doesn't make you useless, Luke. The only way you're useless is if you don't do anything, but that's still your decision.

[And as soon as Lloyd gets close and puts his hand on his shoulder, Luke looks away again, down at the floor instead of his eyes. Because, really, he isn't worthy. What is he? A throwaway replica. Lloyd is, at least, human. He's lived all these years and knows all these things, and Luke... well, like he said, he doesn't even know how to live on his own. He isn't even really Luke.]

Everything I try to do I just end up screwing up. [On reflex, he moves one hand to grip his elbow, turning his head away more.] I mean, you saw... I didn't even know how to live when Guy left. Heh... Asch called me a defective replica, you know? I just keep thinking he's right.

Do you know how many things I've screwed up? Trust me, I think I've got some doozies if you really want to hear.

[Lloyd isn't going to let go of Luke just because he's looking away.]

Screwing up is part of life. It's what makes us human. That's what tells me you aren't a "defective replica." If you got everything right, you'd be way too good to be true.

And nobody knows how to live on their own the first time they're on their own. Everyone has to figure that out, so you're just like everyone else.

... Heh. You... You don't want to hear all the mistakes I've made.

[He takes in a quicker and sharper breath without meaning to, and he grits his teeth and tightens his grip on his arm. No, stupid, don't cry. Not in front of Lloyd. Not because of this.

And while he does not cry, there are still tears showing up in his eyes as he keeps his gaze away, as he moves his shoulder as if to weakly try to break contact from Lloyd. Why is he even doing this for him? Talking to him like this? All that he's done, because he didn't know any better, because he was an idiot who completely fell into his master's manipulation - ]

Is taking lives a part of life?! Is being made to be a living weapon what makes someone human?! How can you - You don't even know who I am or what I've done and you - [He cuts himself off.]

[Lloyd's expression falters, though if Luke continues to look away, the only thing he'll notice is the way his voice thickens with regret and remorse.]

I don't want to say that taking lives is part of life, because it shouldn't ever be, but it happens, and that's not what defines someone as human. Being a weapon...

[Colette...

Marble...

The people at the ranches who'd been turned into Exspheres...]

That doesn't matter, either. Anyone can be turned into a weapon, no matter who or what they are, and that's not their fault.

[He takes a deep breath, trying to shake the melancholy off. This isn't about what he's done or what's happened in his past. This is about Luke.]

[He straightens up, and that unshakeable certainty enters back into his voice.]

You can't change my mind, Luke. You can't make me believe you're not human. No matter who you are or what you've done, no matter how you were born, you're as human as me.

[How...

Luke got as close as he ever could to telling someone about the magnitude of what he'd done; all those lives lost, the fact that that's what he was made to do, and he was sure, so sure that that's what would make Lloyd think that he's no better than some machine made purely to kill.

But he's still pushing, still saying that he's a human when Luke knows he's far from that. He's never opened up this much; never had the time, never had the courage, never had the opportunity. Now here he is practically digging his nails into his arm and hearing this person who he'd only recently become friends with (friends, really, how) tell him that it's not his fault.

...

All that time...

No one told him that being born to be an unwilling weapon wasn't his fault.

Luke doesn't really remember how it happened. One minute he's still looking away and trying to stop his lips from twitching, and the next, he's got his face against Lloyd's shoulder, the hand gripping his own arm so tightly now holding onto the brunet's instead. It's the only thing he does, not even really a hug. Just a clutch. Like he's breaking apart like the useless doll that he is under the pressure of all the guilt and horror and lies and betrayal and the person in front of him is the one thing that's keeping him together at the moment.

This person who thinks that a copy made to be a weapon and led into killing so many others can even be capable of being a human being.]

[He wasn't expecting that kind of reaction from Luke. He'd had no idea he was striking such a nerve. Maybe he should have guessed. It's obvious it was important, that it's something that was hurting Luke. That's part of why Lloyd feels so strongly about it, had been so vehement in his response. But he hadn't been expecting Luke to respond like that. For a moment, all Lloyd can do is stand there, startled.

But he doesn't draw back.

Then after a moment, he awkwardly lifts his free arm and wraps it around the redhead. It's awkward because he doesn't know Luke that well, and usually he doesn't get this physically close to anyone he hasn't been friends with for a very long time, but he thinks Luke needs this, so he doesn't hesitate. He doesn't say anything. Just tightens the hug a bit. He'll stand there and hold him as long as Luke needs, as long as it takes for the other to get it, that this is real, that he's real, and that Lloyd isn't going to let him go.]

[Lloyd could probably hold him forever and Luke would never believe he's really real. He's just a fake, and his entire life is a lie, after all.

But it helps. It helps to think that someone thinks he is, and doesn't think he's stupid for feeling this way. Not tossed aside, not blamed, not pushed away. Just... accepting. Even supporting him.

Who would've thought that that was something he really needed all this time?

After a moment, despite his thoughts, Luke pulls himself back. It's a little awkward for him as well; he never gets that close to anyone except if he's known them for a long time. So he lets out an awkward chuckle, though it comes out as a dry hiccup as well, and he gives Lloyd's arm a squeeze before he lets his hand drop to his side.]

Ha... sorry about that. I just... No one's said that to me before. Not since I found out.

[When Luke lets go, Lloyd shifts on his feet a little, not entirely sure what to do or say in response to a moment like that. Finally he settles on a smile that maybe is a little bit awkward still, but that calm acceptance still remains.]

Don't apologize. You didn't do anything you need to be sorry for.

[If he'd really minded the not-quite-hug, he would have pushed Luke off.]

Maybe your friends don't know that's what you're worried about? Maybe they're like me. I wouldn't have even thought there was any question about it if you hadn't mentioned it to me.

[The smile that comes up upon hearing that is so weak, like Luke only willed it there, and it's as forced as the chuckle that escapes. He still refuses to look at Lloyd, especially now, now that this is being brought up.]

They know. Heh... They think I'm stupid for thinking this way. [It's certainly the gist he got from Tear and Guy, if the way they tiredly insist that he's real and to not be an idiot for him tells him anything.]

[On the surface, that seems like a good thing to Lloyd, and for a moment he's confused as to why that would bother Luke. But then, if someone said he was stupid...

Yeah, that would bug him, too.]

Well, look at it this way. At least you know they feel like you're real, too. That's better than if they thought you were fake. I guess your friends just aren't very good at saying how they feel.

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