♑ ♥ ♐ | Could we start again please?

[420]

Who: 420 & stayb100ponyboy
When: Backdated to the day of Signless' death.
Where: Their hive? Karkat's hive? Somewhere in the middle?
Style: No brackets. The brackets cannot contain this angst.
Status: Closed. So very closed.



He's tired. He's really really tired, and it has nothing to do with sleep at all. Taking care of Karkat is never too much for him, but that don't mean it isn't a lot. Especially like this, right now.

Making use of a natural lull in their conversations and mutual care-taking, Gamzee slips out the front door though he doesn't close it. At least, this way he can hear Karkat if he wants or needs him. He leans back against the wall next to the door, sliding down to sit on the ground, not caring about the state of his clothes. His shirt is already covered with reddish stains anyway. Digging through his pockets, he quickly finds his SFC, typing out a simple as fuck message to the only person he really wants to see right now.


HeY.

Comments

he must have gone through so many husktops

[420]

That gets the first good smile and laugh out of Gamzee in what feels like forever. Catching the little peeping gosling, he pulls him to his chest so he can press a kiss to the top of that little head. "hey, lil' man. Missed ya."

[stayb100ponyboy]

Equius smiles too; Gamzee and the little goose are adorable together, and watching them bond is the first time he's been happy in a few hours too. He walks up and sits beside his matesprit.

"See. I told you he missed you."

[420]

Gamzee tucks the little goose against his chest, letting Milenko peep and burrow into his shirt like he hasn't seen him in ages. He, meanwhile, turns his head to bury it against Equius' shoulder with a shudder, leaning against him. "Fuckin' missed ya too."

[stayb100ponyboy]

Equius leans in as best he can. "I missed you too." It's hard work, taking care of a distraught moirail, as he's sure Gamzee understands.

[420]

Harder still when you are just a distraught.

Wrapping his arm around Equius' shoulders, he pulls himself onto his lap to lean against his chest, face buried against the side of his neck. Milenko is still held on his lap, completely unaware to what is going on (HEY) but not particularly caring either now he can burrow back against his momma.

[stayb100ponyboy]

Oh. Oh, okay. Equius now has a clown and a goose on his lap. He's pretty sure he saw a porno on Grubtube that started this way, but he's guessing that's not what Gamzee has in mind. He lifts his arms, slowly and carefully, and circles them around Gamzee's waist, making a loop around him.

"How are you holding up?" Silly question, really, but he can't help but ask it.

[420]

No. For once we can be really sure that is not something Gamzee has in mind. Especially not with the baby on his lap, for shame, Equius.

"It ain't fuckin' fair. He didn't all were deserving of that." If there was one troll in this entire bubble that did not deserve dying, surely it was Signless.

[stayb100ponyboy]

"No, he didn't." Equius knows enough about Karkat's ancestor to know that much, at least. "But he'll be back soon. He can set everything straight."

[420]

all Gamzee gives is a faint nod and a soft sniff as he leans closer, dropping one hand down to his lap to absently pet Milenko. To him Signless couldn't be back soon enough.

[stayb100ponyboy]

There's really nothing else Equius can say in this moment, so he moves his arms a fraction of an inch closer and gives Gamzee a soft, chaste kiss on the ear. Then he just holds him, him and his goose, giving him all the comfort he can through the closeness of his body.

[420]

Gamzee isn't quite sure when they start, but soon enough he has big, fat purple tears rolling down his cheeks, smearing his face-paint and soaking into Equius' shirt. They are quiet, like his pan is way too exhausted to make a huge motherfuckin' circus out of it. Instead all he does he turn his head a little and bury it tighter against Equius' neck, shaking slightly against him.

[stayb100ponyboy]

Equius wishes he could hold Gamzee better, especially once he realizes he's crying. Instead, he turns his head so he's facing his matesprit, and blows warm air into his hair, making low, rumbling noises in his chest.

[420]

That's okay. If Gamzee had really wanted someone to hold him while he cries, he would've found someone else to cry to. Instead just leaning against Equius provides him with enough support. Besides, getting warm air blown into his hair is familiar. Hoof beast lusii and goat lusii have very similar ways of dealing with sobbing little charges.

Of course, back when he was little, one great puff of the ol' goat's breath against him could occasionally send him tumbling onto his back, but that would make him laugh so it all worked out in the end.

[stayb100ponyboy]

Wow, seeing Gamzee cry like this is starting to upset Equius too, and he sniffles a little before blowing more warm air in his hair. He wishes he knew something else he could do to make him feel better, but blowing on his hair is the best he can do. He just hopes Gamzee's lusus did the same.

[420]

Gamzee notices the little sniff, and he tries to pull back again and calm down, rubbing furiously at his eyes. "Shit. Sorry. I didn't all fuckin' mean to."

[stayb100ponyboy]

"No, it's okay." Equius manages to get a hold of himself and tries to smile gamely at Gamzee. "You're really upset about this, huh?"

[420]

Gamzee sniffs, rubbing at his face, his voice soft. "He's just... he's so motherfuckin' nice. He always all be listening when any motherfucker needs. He knows like all the shit there is be all be known. Always down for helping a bro, you get?"

[stayb100ponyboy]

Sounds like Darkleer, actually. Equius just nods though, and shifts his legs a bit, trying to rock Gamzee closer against his chest. "He sounds like a great guy."

[420]

"He is. He all got to fuckin' stirring the same kind of fuckin' feels Karkat do." A pause, and then quickly added. "I ain't meaning in the motherfuckin' pale sense. I only got all those miracles for my best bro. It's just all like... like I can't be getting my harshness on around him. Motherfucker just got all that chill."

[stayb100ponyboy]

"That's good. I'm glad you have someone like that." Equius knows Gamzee and Darkleer care about each other deeply, but it isn't quite the same. Darkleer is very much his ancestor, and that will always stand between he and Gamzee. Of course, Gamzee's actual ancestor is a lunatic, so that's no good either.

For all the opinions he might have about Karkat and, by proxy, his ancestor, Equius is glad Gamzee has an adult he can go to who will listen to him and never make him feel foolish, like Darkleer does sometimes.

[420]

"Yeah."

Gamzee lingers for a moment more, before he forces himself straighter, slapping his face a little to call himself back to the present. Milenko gives a sleepy peep, nearly having dozed off on Gamzee's lap before the the sudden motion shakes him awake again. "Augh. Fuck. Enough of this. Ain't all gonna be helping no motherfucker to all shit here and get my leak on. Ain't gonna at all."

[stayb100ponyboy]

"Yes."

Equius looks slightly longingly after Gamzee; he wouldn't have minded if he'd leaned on him a bit longer, he really wouldn't! But he understands the need to move forward, and respects his matesprit for trying.

"You and Karkat are taking care of each other?"

[420]

The Tresh Prince marathons are like taking care of each other, right?

"Yeah. Been trying to. Poor motherfucker. He took this shit hard. Been all like trying to up and keep him up in his chill zone least a fuckin' lil'."

[stayb100ponyboy]

"That's good. You're a good moirail, Gamzee."

And Equius knows good moirails.

[420]

Gamzee blinks in surprise, then a smile warms his tired face. "Thanks, babe."

"Hey, you got my shit?" He needs his clean clothes and stuff! He can't wear one of Karkat's shirts. Those only cover like... half of him.