vatheon | 004 - To Darkness

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004 - To Darkness

Who: Dhaos and Ioder
Where: Ioder's residence
When: forward dated to a reasonable hour of the morning
Status: Closed

[He'd only been awake two days, but it was clear enough to him that something was wrong when Ioder had not appeared in Golden Victory yesterday or the day before. The boy had never missed a day of work in Dhaos' memory. While that alone wasn't quite enough to raise a red flag, it certainly was when coupled with the memory of the conversation about the person who had been harassing his coworker. Hence why he was now standing on the young emperor's doorstep, hoping to check on the lad.

Dhaos knocks firmly to make sure he is heard.]

Ioder? It's Dhaos. Are you well?

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[Ioder was, for the first time in days, in the living room rather than hiding in his bedroom. Estelle had managed to urge him out before leaving for the afternoon, but it was doing little to help him. He simply laid on the couch, huddled under a thick blanket despite the warmth of the day, staring at the far wall. He hadn't touched a book or his sketch pad in almost a week.

So when Dhaos knocked, he jumped and burrowed deeper in the blanket, eventually calling out in a timid voice.]

I-I'm fine! Th... thank you for checking on me. ... please go away...

[Had he lacked his exceptional hearing, Dhaos may have left it at that. However, he did hear the soft plea the emperor had not meant to be heard. It gives him pause. It's a tactic he recognizes well; hiding away so that none will see his mental wounds. The difference was that Dhaos hadn't anyone to speak to for so long that it had become ingrained into him not to show any of his pain unless under extreme duress; Ioder still had time.]

...I may not know what ails you, but please... let me help.

Edited (Whoops, wrong icon. ^^;) 2012-08-24 09:21 (UTC)

[There's no answer for several minutes, but eventually the lock on the door clicks open. Ioder stands there, hair a mess in rumpled pajamas with a comforter over his head like a good. Bags under his eyes, he stared up at Dhaos tiredly.]

... I don't know what you can do what help.

Perhaps if you told me what happened?

[He tries a comforting smile, although he suspects it ended up a tad more grim than he had intended.]

...I may understand better than you'd think.

[Ioder continues to stare up at him quietly before turning and shuffling in to the house - as much of an invitation as Dhaos will get. That alone should be indication enough. Even as an emperor Ioder has never been anything but extremely polite and courteous, but whatever happened as affected his mood so badly even that has gone to the wayside.]

[The lack of any sort of courtesy practically confirms Dhaos' suspicions. With that in mind, he follows the emperor in, shutting the door behind him before taking a seat on the nearest couch. He settles in and patiently waits for Ioder to begin speaking.]

[Ioder is silent for several minutes, looking absolutely tiny under the folds and bulk of the comforter.]

... even if I told you, you'd likely think me weak for reacting as I have.

[He rubs at his eyes, sniffling a little, but he still explains.]

I was attacked. The wound wasn't even fatal, but I still find myself waking up in sweats, fearing for my life.

[Dhaos regards Ioder for a moment, slowly digesting this new information. Then, without the least bit of warning, he pulls the young emperor into his arms. It is another minute or so before he says anything.]

...I'm sorry you had to learn what it's like...

[Ioder tenses and even lets out a little noise at being pulled in to the embrace. That was the last thing he'd been expecting, and once the actual surprise of it wears off he slumps and turns, burying his face in Dhaos' chest like an upset child.

He doesn't cry. Not yet at least, but his voice indicates how close to tears he is. Even just that small gesture has gotten a bigger reaction out of him than Estelle has been able to all week.]

What do you mean... ?

[For a moment he just holds Ioder, fighting against the deeply ingrained impulse simply to leave it at that. But... it would probably help the other royal far more to know he's not alone than it would to keep his silence. Hesitantly, he begins to speak again.]

...Long before I came to Vatheon, I... did some things I am not proud of to save my people. In retaliation, I was... [He pauses, taking a shaky breath.] ...I was locked away in a stone coffin and left to die. I only survived the years I was trapped due to my magic. ...It still haunts my nightmares to this day...

[Then, the shadow that had fallen over his face dissolves into nothingness once again.]

...I'm sorry you have to know what it's like to be haunted by your memories. But... know that you are not alone in this, and it does not mean that you are weak. It means you are alive, no matter how it may hurt.

[Ioder listens quietly to Dhaos, feeling his heart sink lower and lower with every word. Even if some one has done terrible things, to retaliate in such a way... especially when Dhaos was just trying to help his own people...

It makes Ioder's stomach turn just to think of it.

A shudder runs down his spine, like a chill crawling across his skin. He could have been so much worse off. Asakura could have killed him, or simply tortured him for hours and then left him there. Yet here he was, crying over simply getting stabbed enough to nearly bleed out. Even if Dhaos said he shouldn't feel as though he was weak, he couldn't agree.]

How can you say that... ? What you experienced... you have every right to be haunted by such a thing. What I went through... how... how can it even compare... ?

[Dhaos frowns at that and pulls back enough to look him in the eyes.]

Stop. Do not act as if your experience is nothing compared to mine. I was a combatant in the middle of a war, and I knew something bad might happen to me, though not the severity. You were attacked and badly injured in a place you thought of as being mostly safe aside from something from the outside every now and then. To be afraid is not weakness.

...It is human.

[His expression softens again, and he draws Ioder back to his chest.]

...I didn't tell you my story because I wanted you to look down on yourself. Please... don't disregard my words like so many others have...

[Don't cheapen my experiences and yours that way... It would kill him if the first person he had completely willingly opened up to used his words to further their self-hatred...]

[Ioder stares back, eyes going a bit wide when he realizes what he's said has actually affected Dhaos that much. He didn't mean to dismiss what he had said, but he's painfully aware just how much he's been wrapped up in himself the past week.]

I-... I wasn't... I didn't mean... to... to...

[And that does it. The flood gates open. Everything he's been holding back, even the tears he doesn't want to shed, starts to break through. They begin to roll down his cheeks, shoulders trembling so bad it's visible even through the heavy blanket.

His head hangs, voice coming out choked and strained.]

I don't want to be afraid... !

Edited 2012-09-05 04:29 (UTC)

[Dhaos tightens his hold, though it remains gentle. For a while he says nothing, just allowing Ioder to to cry while he searches for something to say. It hurts to see someone normally so bright and cheerful, and he just... wants things to go back to some semblance of normality. Wants the little emperor to smile again.

...And so he begins to sing.]

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand...

[As much as he didn't want to cry, there was the usual catharsis that came with doing so. He had felt so small, so powerless and weak after what had happened that being able to let it all out gave him a sense of control back that he didn't have before. To have some sort of reign over his emotions again, to be able to let it all out like that... it washed much of the fear away. Some was still there - he would likely always be afraid of Asakura to some extent - but the vice grip it had before was starting to ebb finally.

And the singing helped calm him, once it started. Sobs faded in to quieter noises, and eventually in to sniffles. He had heard Dhaos' voice before, and even back then had found it quite lovely, but now it seemed to settle over him like a properly comforting blanket along with the strong arms around his trembling shoulders.

Strangely, he couldn't ever remember feeling like he did in that moment. At no point in his life had he ever truly broken down near some one that had actually offered him comfort. Had he been more collected, he would have thanked Dhaos for it, but he supposed that was sort of the point of completely falling apart - there was no real coherency involved after a certain point.

Instead he simply let the tears continue to fall silently as a new sensation took over - exhaustion. How many days had it been since he'd slept more than a few hours at a time? He lost track. But crying as he was left him drained with the edges of a headache starting to creep up on him. He closed his eyes, trembling finally calming as his body relaxed for the first time in almost a week.]

[Feeling the younger man finally relax, Dhaos quiets his singing to a hum. He doesn't move for a few more minutes to allow the other to pull away if he wants. When he doesn't, the alien prince carefully picks him up and begins looking for his room. It takes a bit of trial and error to find the correct room, and Dhaos is rather surprised that he'd apparently managed not to disturb Ioder, even when he tucked the little emperor into bed.

Satisfied, he begins to turn to leave.]

[Ioder was aware that his singing had faded in to humming, and aware even as he began to doze off that he was being easily lifted and carried, but he didn't move or protest. In fact being carried made him even more inclined to just want to sleep.

But once he was laid down, his half-awake mind became painfully aware of the lack of those comforting, safe arms around him. He didn't move to get up, but he did open his eyes to stare blearily at Dhaos' back.]

... stay... ? Please... I know it's an odd request, but... please stay...

[Well he can hardly deny a little request like that, now can he?]

Very well. Would you like me to pull up a chair, or...?

[That actually gets a smile, a genuine if not tiny smile from the young emperor. At least he listened, even if Ioder thinks the chair would be horribly uncomfortable.]

It's... up to you. But I can't imagine sleeping in a chair would be very comfortable...

[Dhaos laughs a little at that, glad to see that Ioder is smiling again.]

True, but it is hardly the worst place I have fallen asleep. Let's just say that tree roots do not make very good beds.

[With that, he crawls into the empty space on the other side of the other blond's bed. He leaves a bit of a gap between them so he doesn't intrude on the young man's space if he doesn't want.]

...Now go to sleep. You look exhausted.

[Oddly, Ioder didn't mind the company in his bed. He had always slept alone, but as before Dhaos' presence was a comfort more than anything.

He rolled over on his side to face him, letting out a tired yawn just as the word 'exhausted' was said. He nodded slowly, letting his eyes close again.]

... thank you.

You're welcome. ...I'll be here when you wake.

[For a time, Dhaos lays there in silence, absently studying the contents of the room before finally dozing off himself.]

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004 - To Darkness

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